• Thu, Feb 20 - 3:00 pm ET

Any Mom That Jumps On The Mom Jeans Revival Must Be Blind

il_340x270.375853636_nq4dI’ve heard before that fashion is cyclical. Sometimes that’s cool—hello, 1920s flapper dress! Sometimes, not so much.

When I was in middle school and high school, I was all about retro fashion. I specifically hunted in thrift shops and vintage stores for bellbottoms, bohemian tops, and fringed blouses. In my mind, at least, I was a child of the 60s.

I vividly remember thinking at the time that mom jeans were the worst fashion invention known to man. It must be some kind of hoax. All of the moms in the 90s must be drinking the same water and taking the same crazy pills to think that these fugly, ill-fitting, atrocious jeans were acceptable to wear out in public.

Or, as the 11th Commandment states:

Thou shalt not wear mom jeans.

God said it to Moses in the Old Testament. Who am I to argue with God? But apparently, fashionistas of today are disobedient God-haters that are trying to bring back the mom jean trend. These fashionistas must also be blind because mom jeans haven’t gotten any cuter. If anything, they’ve gotten uglier.

Yesterday’s post on Today Moms claims that mom jeans are back with a vengeance:

Of course despite their name, Top Shop’s Moto Blue Mom Jeans, which they’ve been carrying since last year, aren’t really targeted for moms like me, who have worked hard (read: popped out two kids) to develop a midsection worth covering. Same goes for “The Mom Jean” at UrbanOutfitters.com, which oddly shows them on a midriff-baring skinny-minny model, who doesn’t look at all maternal.

So the real point is, hideous mom jeans are now being targeted to hipster kids, although moms throughout the US are technically free to buy them. Or maybe this terrible trend will inspire moms to stealthily pull their trusty mom jeans from the 90s out of the back of the closet and wear them on the next school drop-off.

Whether mom jeans are in or not, you’ll never catch me dead in them. Sure, I may wear typical mom attire, like black yoga pants, every single day of the week, but I have to draw the line somewhere. The 90s called, and they want their mom jeans back.

(Image:tumblr)

Share This Post:
  • robbie

    Why do we need mom jeans when we have stretch jeans – it all does the same – allows room for a bit of a belly from having kids! I love the stretch jeans!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Stretch jeans – yes!

    • Andrea

      YAY JEGGINS!!!! My personal favorite.

    • Kitsune

      I think jeggings are the best thing ever. They make wearing jeans and boots so much more comfortable.

    • Martine

      Mom jeans do not work if you have a belly. You need to have no belly fat. If you have belly fat then low rise is best. But if you have great hips and a nice booty…high rise is perfect. Also if you like legs to look longer, which i do.

  • Lee

    I’m not a woman anymore. I’m a mom.

  • Lauren_Alli

    Oh no. It’s going to end up where your options for jeans are either mom jeans or skinny jeans. That is a world I don’t want to be a part of!

    • JLH1986

      Nah just move to Kentucky, we are 10 year behind the times. after a year here you could move back and miss the skinny jean/mom jean trend.

    • Reba

      both gross me out, long live the straight leg ha ha

  • Andrea

    AAAAAAGGGHHH!!! Mom jeans are the kiss of death!!!! NOBODY looks good in them. NOBODY.

  • Crusty Socks

    I think all the mom writers should post selfies wearing their best mom jeans

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    I’m not about this life. I’m all about moms wearing whatever the fuck they want to even if it makes them look totally dumb, including mom jeans and kitten sweaters.

    • Bethany Ramos

      #momjeansfight

    • Ddaisy

      Eve, I always picture you in a kitten sweater and mom jeans, because one of your first articles I ever read was the one about how you want to be a frumpy mom in a kitten sweater, and I’ve never quite been able to shake that image of you.

      However, in my mind, your face looks exactly like your profile picture–always. You walk around all day peering out the corner of your heavily mascaraed eye, because your sexy hair is perpetually dramatically swept over the other eye.

      If anyone looks smokin’ hot in mom jeans, it is my mental image of you.

    • Me

      Yep, wear what you like, I agree!!!

  • Kay_Sue

    Those are Urban Outfitter jeans are $59 and appear to fit like the Faded Glory ones I got for $8 from Wal Mart after my hips spread following the birth of my youngest, when I needed pants and nothing fit…….

    • Bethany Ramos

      The other jeans they linked to were $80!! So ugly, I do not understand…

    • Kay_Sue

      I don’t get it either. I keep those pants for painting and yard work and other messy shit where there’s a limited chance of anyone seeing me…as soon as possible, they were replaced with something more flattering….

    • Crusty Socks

      I’m a dude, who’s been wearing relaxed fit jeans since… 1990′s… or so…

      I just bought my first semi-skinny jeans… They’re alright. This whole “keeping up with the changing times” thing isn’t going to cause me cancer!

    • Kay_Sue

      I would never be able to induce Mr. Kay_Sue to wear skinny jeans. The closest he gets is a nice pair of Lucky Jeans he inherited from a friend. Other than that, relaxed fit Wranglers all day, every day….

      I’m going to try the “It won’t give you cancer” on him sometime, lol.

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      Ha! Giant pants are definitely a hill my partner is willing to die on. He wears the loose fit jeans from the Gap, which I think might have been discontinued recently. (He bought 3 pair when he saw.) They’re like denim sweatpants. He has no interest in even trying on normal-sized jeans. I’m a little worried about what happens when these fall apart.

    • Kay_Sue

      I feel you. I believe when I’ve suggested a pair of not even really skinny, just tighter fitting, jeans, I’ve heard the exact phrase, “I’d rather die.” These guys take it serious…

    • Kitsune

      Bootcut and straight leg are what I can get my husband to wear but he has really large muscular thighs so skinny jeans are a no because he’d be uncomfortable and they’d look terrible. I buy most of his clothes for him since he hates shopping and I love it so he pretty much wears what I think looks good already.

  • ted3553

    mom jeans translates to long bum for me and that is not a pretty picture. I have never ever said “know what, I wish my bum was longer”

    • Karen Milton

      This is exactly the comment I was going to make. As a kid I remember thinking that bums just somehow got taller after someone’s had a baby, like it was some sort of side effect or something.

      The only thing worse than mom jeans is mom jeans with pleats in the front. Not only can you achieve a long bum, you can also emphasize any sort of belly you might have. Zexy times.

    • Martine

      How about …know what i wish my legs were really short looking, and no one knew I had a waist? Why do you want a short wide ass? Suburbanites confuse me. High rise jeans give you a perfect heart shaped but.

  • Mss

    What if your body turns everything into mom jeans???? WHAT THEN?

    My stomach is a monster, if I don’t keep it covered by the mom pants, it well, flops everywhere, and it’s either that or shapewear that rearranges my organs.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You go girl

    • Kay_Sue

      Then you should rock it on out, because anything that’s comfortable and you feel good in is a good lookin’ piece of clothing.

  • candyvines

    Good moms don’t wear real pants, come on. Who has time for eight inches of zipper?!?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yoga pants ALL DAY.

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      fuck that shit man. pyjama pants ftw

    • Samantha Escobar

      Re-fuck that shit, Hammer pants all day every dayyyy.

      http://www.radiotimes.com/uploads/images/Original/43745.gif

    • Crusty Socks
    • Kay_Sue

      STOP!…..
      ….
      ….
      ….
      ….


      Hammer time.

    • Mystik Spiral

      Can’t touch this.

    • Guest

      Um…does anyone care about some long dead cultural references? Really? Does anyone care to get fashion advice from Tina Fey?

    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      Aye. You do enough to comment, my friend. :)

    • Maria Guido

      I wish to god there was a way that I could out-do this, because this thread needs to go on forever.

    • Crusty Socks
    • aCongaLine

      black yoga pants > every other type of clothing.

    • Martine

      Who has time to pull up their pants twenty times a day as they slide down? Who has time for jeans that only stay up because of how tight they are? Wow, jeans that have the waist at the waist! What a concept! The low rise trend is over. I grew up wearing fugly jeans that hang below the stomach with teeny little zippers, and i am here to tell you that just because your zipper is little doesn’t mean you look any smaller. And just because your jeans start halfway down your ass doesn’t mean your ass looks smaller. it looks short and wide, and your legs look like little stumps.Mom jeans are just regular jeans. This is how people wore jeans in the 30′s 40′s 50′s 60′s 70′s( except a hip hugger trend that lasted a minute) 80′s 90′s then in the mid 90s someone decided we all had to wear halfway up pants, and now..we are DONE. DONE. I am never touching a pair of low rise anything. NOT EVER. A minimum 9 inch rise which is a mid rise btw…is where it starts. But I find jeans that hit right below the belly button most flattering. I get that its comfy to have low rise jeans if you have belly fat, the belt goes right under the stomach…but I don’t have belly fat. So I am not going to wear crappy jeans that make my ass look like a little rectangle. The Bush Administration called, and they want they jeans back. Its been twenty years of low rise. Its time for it to die.

    • candyvines

      My comment was a joke. You seem really passionate about jeans.

  • Garavriel

    Cute high waisted pants exist, those are not them.

    • Kitsune

      I agree, usually the cute high waisted pants are wide leg. I find the front pleats of mom jeans more offensive than the high waist. Pleated pants look good on no one.

    • koolchicken

      My boss owned pleated corduroy pants, briefly. The day I saw them I told him if he ever came in to work in those again I was going to set fire to them while he was still in them. They were creating a hostile work environment and had to be destroyed.

  • Crusty Socks

    Welp, I’ll have to try another day to sucker get you mommys to post selfies

  • Rachel Sea

    Mom jeans make even size-zero models look bloated. If mom jeans become the thing, I’m going to learn how to sew my own pants until it passes.

    • Bethany Ramos

      SO MUCH THIS.

    • Martine

      Its not going to pass. Don’t you get it? Its not some high rise trend. its the end of a low rise trend. Look at any vintage photo of any era. Look at marilyn Monro or Audrey Hepburn or Jackie Onassis, or jane Birkin….or even the 1930 factory girls in their jeans….what do you think they are going to be wearing? LOW RISE IS THE TREND, NOT HIGH RISE.
      Are you saying being a mom means you have to be stuck dressing like it is 2003 forever?

  • Muggle

    oh god mom jeans are the worst. Really, the 90s were the worst. I thought we moved on from that :(

  • Jamie-tang

    They really are coming back. I’m a student, and so many of the early-twenty somethings on campus are wearing mom jeans, usually with crop tops.
    I will be forever grateful that my parents had sex when they did, because by the time I came of age the super low rise (with or without a thong sticking out the back) were in style. I’m not a fan of crack showing, but mom jeans are virtually unflattering on 95% of body types.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Ugh. I am waiting for that Britney Spears trend next, though, of the low rise pants with the thong pulled up! Early 2000s. :)

    • Natasha B

      That was my freshman year of college. I ashamed of how many fancy thong/low rise jeans I owned.

    • Jamie-tang

      I must be a little bit younger because I remember it was the it thing to do in high school. They had to change the dress code and everything because of all the Britney wannabes.

    • Natasha B

      It was in my senior year of HS, but my parents weren’t letting that fly. So I had to wait until I went off to the dorms :)

    • SA

      Whale-Tail!!

  • Kitsune

    The nineties are back in fashion now. So it’s all mom jeans, floral dresses, and doc martens. I like it more than the rehash of the eighties. I would say it makes me feel old but living in a college town does that for me.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    Yoga pants are a massive upgrade from mom jeans! I used to be afraid of turning 30 when I was a teen in the ’90s because I thought it would mean you had to start dressing like a tool.
    In addition, my husband was saying the other day that he doesn’t understand kids these days. Why? Because they’re wearing mom jeans.

    • Martine

      Yoga pants are NOT CLOTHING. Its like wearing tights as plants. Wrong. And ugly.

  • Itpainsmetosay

    I don’t think I ever realized what mom jeans were until this post. The only person I know who wore mom jeans was my babysitter (mom to two, mother of many)and she kind of personifies mom to me so that’s apropriate.

  • Sam Inoue

    Oh sooooo awful! Everyone looks like they have front butt in mom jeans.

    • Martine

      No. They look like they have flat tummy, small waist, and actual hips. In low rise people look like they have a four mile long torso, short little legs, and a wide, wide hip section with no defined waist. They show off your figure perfectly.

  • jane

    It’s not just mom jeans, it’s everything. As a HS teacher, I can almost promise you that these will be all the rage again in about 2 years:

    On one hand, I’m horrified. On the other hand, I’m so excited because those things were like wearing pjs all the damn time. It was just the logistics of peeing that were tough.

  • Reba

    At first I thought you were just talking about high waisted tight jeans, which are really cute (when I am in shape enough to not look like an idiot in them)… then I clicked on the pics to see the ill-fitting loose booty atrocities. Hahah I kind of love it, way to go teens or whoever these are for, it’s better than the skinny skinny jeans or the super low cut jeans.

    • Reba

      Ohhh man I just realized I’m wearing mom jeans (my boyfriends Levis 501s because they’re the only pants that fit me right now in my pregnancy. wooops)

    • Bethany Ramos

      Haha!

    • Martine

      Only the perfect jeans…poor you.

  • moi

    low rise is ugly as hell,its for you women with no hips to hide the fact.

    daisy effen duke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!