10 Dumb Things People Think About ‘Mommy Bloggers’ That Are Wrong

shutterstock_147963059I’m a mommy blogger. Mommy bloggers are my people. Lately I have been noticing that people like to use the term “Mommy Blogger” as an insult, because having kids and then writing about issues dealing with kids and parenting is pretty much the worst thing ever. True, there were times in my life, mainly before I had kids of my own, that I had zero interest in many parenting topics, teething, bedwetting, why do babies on occasion have terrifying diapers that look like the Creature From The Black Lagoon vomited in them, but back in those days blogging wasn’t even a thing. I just didn’t read parenting books (which were the blogs back in the day) like the same way I don’t read things that don’t interest me now, like blogs about insects or ones that feature cartoon character fan fiction.

I’m sorry if people find parenting or things that interest parents (wine, House Of Cards, birth order, sex, pacifier reviews) boring, but what annoys me more than that are common misconceptions people have about the people who write about these topics. Mainly:

1: Mommy Bloggers aren’t real writers: 

 

Not everyone can work at The New York Times. And not everyone wants to.  This all depends on what you think a real writer is. Is it the number of books you have published? How long you have been writing for? How many typos or grammatical mistakes you make? I make a lot of errors in my work, spelling errors, grammatical errors, and I know it. But I also think a lot of Mommy Bloggers write engaging and interesting content despite errors. You can teach someone to write technically perfectly, but you cannot teach them how to engage readers or write content people want to read.

2: Mommy Bloggers basically write longer form Facebook posts 

Sure, some write lengthy posts all about what they ate for lunch or where they went on vacation or how little Timmy related hated getting his vaccination, but the majority of Mommy Bloggers write content that will appeal to a wide audience, not just to their family and closest friends.

3: Mommy Bloggers ignore their kids all day 

I don’t know any Mommy Bloggers who are able to actually write unless their kids are at school, napping, asleep at night or occupied with a box of brand new toys. Most of the time I’m working when my own kids are in school, but if they are around when I’m writing it’s amazingly difficult. There is nothing fun about trying to form complete sentences when someone is asking you for a drink or narcing on their sibling every few minutes.

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    • Bethany Ramos

      YES! I have to say that I love your writing style, Eve, and really it is all about your personal voice and not being a literary scholar. Sure, bloggers are prone to make mistakes, but that’s the beauty of the digital age – we can correct them.

      The one thing that I will say for anyone who writes regularly, whether ghostwriting, writing a novel, or blogging, it’s really hard to come up with engaging content day after day. Mommy bloggers at least deserve that respect.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        who says we are engaging :(

      • Bethany Ramos

        Zing!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        #HDY

      • Megan Zander

        Not just to come up with the content, but also to be brave enough to put it out there for the world. One of the reasons I love this site is that you guys don’t care if a feature will upset some readers. There is bravery in having a view point and defending it in a respectful way, bravery trolling commenters using a pseudonym lack.

      • Bethany Ramos

        YOU TOO!!

      • Megan Zander

        No way I’m #chickenshit all the way. Seeing comments pop up makes me itch and reach for emotional support in the form of cookies. It’s ok though, I make good cookies #iamamommybloggerandthereforeibakefromscratch

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahaha we are all really #chickenshit. I think the really hateful comments make everything else seem less menacing.

    • Kay_Sue

      Mommy bloggers are awesome. This is my favorite website, and with my ‘net addiction, that is saying something.

      • G.E. Phillips

        DITTO

      • Crusty Socks

        What other sites do you post on?

      • Kay_Sue

        I don’t have any others that I am active on with this profile currently. I lurk on XO Jane, DListed, Imgur and Reddit though. Imgur I occasionally post on, although not for some time.

      • Crusty Socks

        You should join me on cnn.com sometime

        That’s where the real crazies are. ;P

      • Kay_Sue

        CNN is a given. I comment there sporadically, but typically wind up buried. Harder to make an impression there than on Mommyish.

        I really love anything that’s LGBTQ rights related on CNN because it seems like the really honest to goodness cuckoo birds come out there.

      • Surfaces

        LOVE the CNN comment sections, especially when Johnny Bandana shows up.

    • Bic

      I always thought Mommy Bloggers were Moms that blogged for a hobby/record, somebody that does it for themselves and their family rather than as a profession. When did it become the catch all phrase for anyone that writes about children anyway?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        some jerk did it

      • Bic

        Typical.

    • Alex

      I think the trouble is with the term “____ blogger” because it just reminds me so much of the LiveJournal and MySpace days where everyone and their fifth cousin thrice removed (could have) had a blog. It wasn’t all that profound or impressive to maintain and have others read it, so it was basically just an online diary where you composed your thoughts (sometimes with a theme, sometimes without) and anyone who wanted to would comment on it and you would go on with the rest of your day. Kind of like Facebook.

      Bloggers are not necessarily journalists; you don’t have to first demonstrate knowledge and qualifications and you don’t have to remain unbiased (in fact, it increases page-clicks and thus advertising revenue if you don’t) and cite sources and properly quote and reference before even being allowed to write or publish a single article. I’m sure there are editing standards to maintain and most bloggers do have some sort of writing background. But it still DOES present the notion that anyone can do it, so why should we give bloggers or their blogs any more (or less, really) respect than those of said fifth cousin thrice removed? It’s an opinion piece after all, not a news article, and anyone can give an opinion.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        good points

    • G.E. Phillips

      I don’t read a lot of other blogs on the regular, but I think what differentiates a blogger from a journalist is the connection factor. Reading Mommyish is like talking to your friends; it’s interactive, it’s often reader-influenced–you know and care about your audience, and we feel like we know and care about the writers. It’s genius, frankly, and there are many so-called “important” writers who don’t know or care how to connect to their audience like that. The sense of community here is unlike anything I’ve seen elsewhere, and that’s why we’re all here, every day!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Amanda Low

      FREAKING THANK YOU. :-) I had to deal with my own self-judgment when, after spending many years of my life working hard to build a writing career, my first “break” was selling an essay here on Mommyish. In the two years since that moment, I have gone on to publish plenty of other things, but I was very nervous at being portrayed as a Mommy Blogger when I had put in so much work behind the scenes for years.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Dude – I have worked as a ghostwriter on Elance.com for 6 years. Plenty of friends think I have a cushy WAH scam job, when it is really so hard. They say, “Oh, how do I do that?” Anyone can do it really – if you don’t suck and work your ass off. Good luck. ;)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Amanda Low

        Haha, seriously! I agree. Being a writer means slogging away all day, not writing for an hour and eating bon bons.

      • Bethany Ramos

        And dealing with asshole clients, Mommyish excluded. :)

    • val97

      I’ll admit it – when I read a blog that really annoys me, I’ll call it a mommy blog. Or, in some cases, a daddy blog.
      If I like it or agree with it or am neutral about it, it’s a parenting blog. Yep, I’m a hypocrite.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        Oh man, see, stop being PART OF THE PROBLEM (just kidding)

      • K.

        The term “Mommy blogger” implies that it’s a SAHM who maintains a personal blog–at least it does to me. Same thing for “fashion blogger”–I envision someone who is working some other job but is blogging as a hobby about fashion.

        “Blogger,” without a descriptor, indicates that it’s a professional practice of some form for me.

    • Muggle

      I always thought it was because of all of the really annoying, fake-happy potential scammers blogging about their kids because they’re SAHMs with literally nothing else to do, that eventually made the term “mommy blogger” into an insult.

      I’ve come across a lot of those blogs, and they do not deserve to be in the same category as Mommyish.

    • K.

      As a writing instructor, the phrase “real writer” is bizarre.

      Are bloggers imaginary writers, then?

      • K.

        Annnd of course it would come to pass that you say you’re a writing instructor and make a grammatical error in the same breath. Sigh.

    • Surfaces

      My only problem with mommy bloggers is I hate the term mommy bloggers, because I hate the word mommy/mummy (I’m in the UK). Not that Mother blogging really has a ring to it. Maybe parenting blogger? Don’t know if that sounds right either. Either way, I’m not campaigning for a different name, just offering my tuppence ‘orth!

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