Your Judgy Doctor May Not Be A Fan Of Surrogacy

shutterstock_140148013A close friend of mine recently became a surrogate. I think that this is absolutely amazing of her, and I follow her journey on Facebook and on her personal blog with great interest.

So far, she’s had one unfortunate failed pregnancy with her first surrogacy couple match. She moved on to a second couple through the surrogacy agency and is now pregnant. Yippee! She has had to do quite a bit of traveling for doctors’ visits as a surrogate. From what she describes, she’s also experiencing typical first trimester pregnancy symptoms that make surrogacy a little taxing at the moment.

In her latest blog update, she was 12 weeks pregnant and ready to visit her doctor in her home state. She scheduled her first prenatal appointment through her regular OB office, which I assume is the doctor she used with both of her previous pregnancies. From the get-go, even booking the appointment was slightly awkward as she explained her surrogacy situation.

But when she got to the appointment to see her doctor, she wasn’t prepared for the surrogacy judgment that awaited her:

The subject of my next appointment came up, and the nurse mentioned that I would need a pap smear at my next appointment, and I said: “oh okay, I guess Dr. Snider can do that when I see him next week.” Then I knew why I had been so nervous! The nurse clasped her hands, sat down in front of me, and said: “Actually, Dr. Snider won’t be seeing you for this pregnancy.” Umm, what?!?!? She continues with: “He is Catholic, and doesn’t agree with what you are doing. He doesn’t prescribe birth control to his patients either, haha.” Slowly, but surely, my eyes started filling with tears, and while the nurse continued with whatever excuse he had told her to say, I was trying to control the outburst of emotion that was hitting me. The tears were flowing at this point, and I say in the middle of gulps (thanks hormones).

Whoa, hold the phone! I really didn’t see this one coming. In my personal opinion, the situation was handled poorly when my pregnant friend was given a rude awakening about her doctor’s refusal at her appointment. She wasn’t given the time to prepare in advance or research other doctors or consider secondary options. Fortunately, her OB office was able to recommend a backup doctor choice.

I always thought being a surrogate mother was a wonderful gift, and I admire my friend so much for doing this. I was curious about why Catholics are anti-surrogacy, enough to refuse medical services, and I came upon this statement via the Archdiocese of Washington:

And so, having set forth a kind of sacred trilogy that the human person, human sexual intercourse, and marriage are all sacred, we now observe the God has united these three sacred realities and intends them to be together. The human person, who is sacred, is intended to be conceived in the loving and sacred embrace of sexual intercourse, between a man and woman in the sacred union of holy matrimony.

Human life, sex, and marriage are sacred, and surrogacy is not, from what I understand from the Catholic Church. I believe in God, but I cannot get behind this Catholic philosophy. Surrogacy is a wonderful, selfless gift that should be celebrated.

(Image: Somchai Buddha/Shutterstock)

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  • Megan Zander

    WTAF. Did we just time warp to the 1500s? Isn’t part of the dr. Oath that you have to treat all in need ? I was raised Catholic and my own kids were conceived via means that are not church approved. I’ve checked them over, no “666″ markings to be found. Ugh, it’s too early to be this angry!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yeahhhhh, I was super shocked. My research did not make me feel better. :(

    • Lackadaisical

      Where I live it would be illegal for the doctor to refuse to treat her as it would break anti discrimination laws. However it would also be illegal for the surrogate to receive any money from the intended parents other than pregnancy related expenses (which they are responsible for). That isn’t to say that I am suggesting that the surrogate mother is in any way financially motivated because carrying a couples baby is something you do out of kindness.

    • Guest

      That is the part I didn’t get…if you have such an issue with pregnancy, birth control, etc. then you are reallly REALLY in the wrong line of work. A Dr. like this would be of no use to a large amount of patients so I have a hard time understanding why they employ him.

    • Lackadaisical

      Yes, it seems a large part of his job.

  • JulySheWillFly

    People can use their religion to believe what the believe. I won’t even hold their beliefs against them if I don’t agree with or understand them. Where you lose me is when it interferes professionally.

    Don’t support gay marriage? Don’t get gay married. But you can still sell flowers to a gay couple for their wedding without it violating your beliefs. You aren’t the one getting married.

    Don’t support assisted reproductive methods? Don’t use them. But don’t deny someone medical care who used it. Does he not offer medical care to couples who have been unfaithful? What about a woman who has previously had an abortion? Probably not. Because it is irrelevant to the immediate care at hand and doesn’t violate the religious beliefs of the doctor.

    This isn’t about adhering to religious beliefs. It’s about judging other people. Pure and simple.

    I am so upset over this. Horrible way to start my morning.

    • Surly Canuck

      THIS! I could even understand if the doctor didn’t want to perform the IVF to conceive the surrogacy, but that’s a far cry from deny someone care because they’ve done something you disagree with in the past. Does he think he’s going to get surrogacy cooties? Is she some fallen woman now that he will never treat again, or will she be okay once this pregnancy is over? I just don’t get it.

    • JulySheWillFly

      Does he treat single moms? The list goes on and on. He isn’t involved in the surrogacy. He is involved in the prenatal care. Which is why this is nothing but judgment. Which, from what I know, is a very unchristian action.

    • Bunny Lucia

      Does he refuse to treat women after he sees in their charts that they’ve used birth control in the past?

    • Lackadaisical

      Absolutely. Please tell me that Dr Judgetastic doesn’t turn away sick babies born out of wedlock. I assume that if you went to him with an STD then rather than give you the medicine needed he would tell you to never darken his doorstep again.

      I am fairly sure the new testament contained traditionalists nagging and judging Jesus because he insisted on helping sinners. If he thinks being a surrogate is sinful (I don’t, I think it is kind and unselfish) then surely the very man who he claims to use as a pattern of righteous behaviour would have been compassionate and worked to give his patient a healthy, comfortable pregnancy regardless of what he sees as her sins.

    • Bethany Ramos

      With this doctor’s type of thinking, you would have to meet a very perfect pregnancy criteria before becoming his patient.

    • Lackadaisical

      Seriously, just how many patients does he treat? I assume he works somewhere that more children are born in marraige and fewer people divorce than the rest if the world because otherwise he is going to run out of patients that meet his standards.

    • Megan Zander

      He’s in Kansas. No idea what the marriage stats are there.

    • JulySheWillFly

      I don’t even care if he thinks surrogacy is sinful. It’s a personal call and while I don’t agree with him, as long as he isn’t interfering with other people, I don’t really care.

      What gets me is that this patient was not asking her doctor to do anything outside of his beliefs. She was looking for prenatal care for an already conceived baby – the same exact prenatal care he gives to other women. He isn’t involved in the surrogacy. His actions are irrelevant. It’s solely about who she is and how he views her.

      It’s illogical.

    • Lackadaisical

      Yes, while I disagree with him he is welcome to think surrogacy is sinful. However, I do object to him refusing to treat someone because he thinks that person and the baby inside them are sinful. I would understand him not wishing to participate in something he considers sin but he is not being asked to help conceive the pregnancy. Providing medical care for someone you consider sinful is not the same as helping someone sin or condoning their sin.

  • Lackadaisical

    How awful. Best wishes to your friend, she will be making such an amazing difference to the lives of the couple she is carrying a child for.

  • Guest

    On the bright side, congrats to your friend for doing such an amazing thing for that couple. That is truly wonderful :)

  • Kheldarson

    May I explain the theology bit? Marriage is viewed as a covenant between the man, woman, and God. Part of the reason why the idea of it as a covenant is important is because marriage is the closest reflection of the Holy Trinity we have on Earth. The Father gives love to the Son who receives the love and brings in new life through the Holy Spirit, much like a husband and wife come together, leading to a child.

    Since this is viewed as sacred, that’s part of why anything that messes with that reflection is considered suspect. Not taking into account the “playing God” argument.

    All that said, doc was a jerk. This is a relatively minor issue on a scale of things, and heck, celebrates life. He should rejoice in that.

    • Guest

      This was my thought- all the hardcore Catholics I know are all about having babies, babies, and then some more babies. I’m a little surprised the new baby being brought into this world happiness didn’t override the part that he didn’t like about how they were made.

    • Megan Zander

      My priest seems to have a ” don’t ask don’t tell” attitude about it. We have twins and when we met for a meeting about thier Baptism I mentioned that we had trouble getting pregnant and he quickly changed the topic and has always steered clear of the issue. Maybe I’m paranoid, but it feels intentional.

    • Angela

      We all know that Catholics consider their own view of marriage to be sacred. I don’t have a problem with that although I do disagree with people who try to force their beliefs on others. Moreover, there is a basic expectation that a OB/GYN be able to provide birth control and not pass judgement on the choices of his patients. If he is unable to do so then he should not be practicing.

    • MellyG

      I grew up Catholic, and i’ve never heard of Catholics being against surrogacy. My church wasn’t hard core mel gibson esqu Catholic though, it was just sort of normal. I’ve just never heard of fertility help in any way being “anti catholic” that is SO strange to me

    • CMP414

      I’m Catholic and I never heard this either. I also learned in Pre-Cana that couples should only have as many kids as they want and can afford. This guy must be super old school.

    • MellyG

      Yea, that made me think Mel Gibson! My dad (i’m not) is super hard core Catholic, and i know he would have no problem with me using a surrogate if it was the way he got grandbabies!

    • Lackadaisical

      I understand and respect (but do not agree with) the theology. It does seem to brush Abraham’s first child Ishmael under the carpet a bit but then I guess you could argue that the trinity is a new testament theology and also the conception of Isaac shows that the first child through a surrogate was not God’s intention. Having said that you could also, from another perspective, view Jesus as the most famous surrogate baby in the world.

      What I do object to is a doctors refusal to treat someone because they consider them sinful. Refusing to help a person because they fall short of your own theological standards seems wrong to me. If the doctor is not being asked to participate in the conception then to refuse to treat her on other pregnancy issues is, as you say, being a jerk.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Jesus as a surrogate baby – GOLD.

    • Kat

      Then perhaps this doctor should stop working for (I’m presuming) a private practice and go work in a Catholic hospital where his beliefs will be better respected.

  • Angela

    WHAT??? Does he also refuse cares to unwed mothers, people who conceived via fertility treatments or lesbians? What about interracial couples? Are they allowed. If one of his married pregnant clients were to divorce just prior to the birth of her child would he drop her as a patient and force her to find another doctor weeks before she gives birth? I’m sorry but if your religious beliefs prevent you from fulfilling your professional roles then perhaps you should consider a different career.

  • Tea

    If he doesn’t do birth control, I assume probably wouldn’t do STDs, and only does married, wanted pregnancies, then what does this guy do all day as an OBGYN?

    • Lackadaisical

      Plays golf? Also, married pregnant ladies where either she or her husband are on their second marraige would be off limits too. Perhaps he should become OBGYN to a nunnery so that sinful pregnant ladies and sexually active sinners wouldn’t interrupt his golf time

  • MellyG

    I grew up Catholic and have NEVER heard of this crap. EVER. Though, i was lucky to have priests that were compassionate, and not jack asses. I guess this doctor is just a douche. Really, not prescribing birth control? It’s not HIS place to force HIS religion on his patients, it’s HIS job to be a damn doctor. Ugh this is infuriating

  • seriously

    God, I love Canada. My (female) doctor told me that she didn’t agree with birth control because of her beliefs… But she still freaking gave it to me. I switched doctors after that. I need birth control to treat ongoing menorrhagia that I have had since I was 13. No fibroids, nothing abnormal, just awful periods. My mom and grandma have had the same thing. It’s a family thing. Good news is that pregnancies are easy, just usually multiples . Moral of the story, even if your personal beliefs disagree with the course of treatment, in Canada you still get the treatment

    • Bethany Ramos

      Oddly, my surrogate friend was born in Canada and lives in the US!

    • Guest

      How do the beliefs even come up? I’m picking a Dr being like “I don’t agree with this because I think you are a heathen, but here ya go”. If a Dr made a point to tell me they didn’t agree with something I was doing I’d make it a point to tell them how thankful I was that their opinions don’t matter.

    • seriously

      We were discussing birth control options and she was like, “Truthfully, I don’t believe in birth control because of my beliefs. You are in a committed relationship, you and your husband have good jobs, why not have a baby?” And I was like, umm, there are lots of reasons that are none of your business but let’s start with the fact that my periods are trying to kill me.

    • Guest

      I would have started reading off a list of reasons like roll call. Then I would have asked her to pay for my child, childcare, and other bills too since she is so involved in my family planning and clearly wants this baby so bad. Also, anytime I saw her and she wasn’t pregnant I’d inquire as to why she wasn’t.

    • Guest

      Also, I feel ya on the periods trying to kill you thing. Mine started trying to kill me in middle school I can only imagine what she would have thought of prescribing me bc when I was that old…

  • Kay_Sue

    Anyone else watch Mad Men? I keep seeing that scene where Peggy goes to the OB/GYN for birth control the first time in my head…..

    It’s hard to see this happening in real life, like, actual real life. WTAF?

  • darras

    Ugh.. Here in Norway the Christian party are trying to push through a bill that will allow GPs to refuse to refer patients for abortion on religious grounds. My response to that is very similar to my response to this – if you feel that strongly about it then don’t be a bloody doctor! Or at least don’t be one in a field where you are going to have to deal with it.

    A doctor is there to treat you medically, not to randomly refuse treatment on personal grounds. How disgusting! Surrogacy is an incredible gift from some very strong women. I have all the respect in the world for surrogate mothers.

  • Roberta

    This just simply ticks me off. Furthermore, the fact that he wouldn’t even show her the respect of saying that he will refuse her care, that he sent in a nurse to do his dirty work (nurses are too busy saving the world for this bullshit). He clearly did not respect her as a patient or a person, and frankly we need pitchforks. Or I need chamomile, whichever one is more readily available.

  • MellyG

    The more i think about this, the more pissed i get. He can run his practice anyway he wants, i suppose BUT he should make it clear that he doesn’t offer certain services from the outset. Put a damn sign on his wall, or website, or whatever. To send his nurse AFTER he’s seen a patient, and for the nurse to LAUGH about it, like it’s some flippant thing – not cool (seems a very unprofessional officer)

    To the author – i’d write a complaint to the board. I’m being serious. Again, the more i think about it, the more pissed i get. And i’m a licensed professional (not medical) but if i acted this unprofessional my clients would complain about me to MY board. This douchnozzle should not be exempt, because other woman should not have to go through this

    • CMP414

      I did’nt realize as a doctor he could refuse services to patients based on his own beliefs. I am a social worker for a children/youth agency and I certainly could not refuse services to anyone beyond the program’s standards of eligibility.

    • MellyG

      I’m not sure he CAN, i’m not aware of a doctor’s professional responsibility (as a lawyer, i can refuse clients, but doctors might have different rules, i’m sure they do) But i do know i have to make it clear to my client BEFORE i take their case if i’m refusing them, i can’t start their file THEN decide to refuse them (there are circumstances where that can happen, but it would be extreme) I was sort of giving the doc the benefit of the doubt that he can treat who he wants if he’s in a private setting, as in private businesses can do what they wish (not saying i agree, that’s just the law) . HOwever, i still think he should be reported to the medical boards for unprofessional conduct at LEAST for the way he told her and the fact that he’s ALREADY seen her. There has to be something wrong with that at least

    • CMP414

      One thing is for sure if this doctor is in private practice he will certainly lose alot of money over time if he refuses patients that don’t fit his religious beliefs. He will be turning away alot of unmarried mothers, same sex couples, etc

  • TngldBlue

    I think this guy is a jackass for not treating her due to religious beliefs but I guess, much as it makes me want to spit, he has that right. But he doesn’t have the right to treat people with such disrespect that he isn’t honest & forthright about his limits from the beginning and sends a nurse to do his dirty work. Jerk.

    • Guest

      In some states that is not his right. In this state he must or I’d be reporting his ass. Hell I’d report it either way because it was executed so poorly.

  • Guest

    My MIL gave me a list of sins for Catholics and IUI, IVF, and surrogacy were on there. Crazy. I was actually going through the list going, whoops, done that, done that and oh yeah done that too.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      lol in fairness, the whole no sex before marriage thing was thrown out years ago.

      At least the new pope is somewhat more modern- ie, not burning women at the stake for daring to seduce men (cos men clearly cannot be responsible for where their penis may go a-wandering)

  • Mystik Spiral

    It was a sucky way to find out what a jackass he is, but hey, at least she can cut her ties, find a doctor who upholds the Hippocratic Oath, and leave him to wallow in his moral outrage.

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    What the WHAT?!
    *Blinks hard at screen*

    I cannot believe this!

    So what if it was a gay couple conceiving?
    Or, like others have said, unwed couples?

    I’m engaged, but am helping to raise my partner’s kids.
    If I got pregnant, would I be denied care, as I am not yet married?

    What if he found out I am Atheist? Would I also be denied care?

    Pretty sure there is a good legal case here!

    • MellyG

      i’m not sure about legal since there’s no malpractice (i’m a lawyer, at least most of the time lol) but i DEFINITELY think he should be reported to his local medical board for unprofessional conduct!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      Surely there must be some legislation for discrimination against someone’s life choice?
      If my employer is uber-Christian and found out I was Atheist, and I was fired because of it, there would be grounds for a legal case. (I presume? Unfair dismissals? Or am I watching too much Judge Judy?)
      The same if I was a person of colour, or gay.

      Then again, my contract says nothing about if I decide to get pregnant, nothing about maternity leave or anything. (I’m the first girl in the company, still the only girl working here)

      Thank you for responding! So interesting to get a lawyer’s opinion!

    • MellyG

      But if you’re fired, there’s “damage” (ie, you’re out of work, out of money) If this woman was refused at the last possible moment, and had to deliver without a doctor, or her baby was somehow injured because of lack of medical care because of his refusal, then there’d be a case. But thankfully, it seems there was no urgency for her and the baby (ie, if she’d come in bleeding, or with bad pains, and she’d been turned away) and she’s able to find a new doctor. Therefore, no injury to her. It’s really rare to sustain a legal case without a concrete injury, which usually (but not always) means money or physical injury

      Most discrimination cases have to be based on the government doing it as well (unless it’s race, than it extends to private care) but with most places you have options.

      Doesn’t mean i agree with it, but that’s the law. I’m almost positive there are ethical considerations with his hippocratic oath he’s violating, hence my suggestion she report him to the board. There are many rules i have to follow as a lawyer that, if broken, would not give rise to criminal sanctions or malpractice, like a civil suit, but COULD get me suspended or disbarred. I know doctors are the same way, and i’d love to see this douchenozzle disciplined by the board, at the very least, for unprofessional conduct – it shouldn’t have been left to the nurse to tell her in such a flippant manner, and there SHOULD be some notice for patients. But that’s more professional, not legal. Hopefully he does get reported

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      Ah that makes much more sense lol.
      I sincerely do hope she reports him.
      OK everyone is entitled to their own opinion (hadn’t thought of the Hippocratic Oath, where does that cut off a doctor from patients in terms of religion, you know?)

      But he should have had the decency to tell her himself. It might have lessened the sting a little if he’d had the cahones to explain to her in person.

    • MellyG

      Or just told her BEFORE. That’s what gets me. I mean, i guess legally he has the right to be a jerk and have outdated opinions, BUT he shouldn’t see her, make her think she has an OBGYN, and then be like “nope, see ya you sinner!” that’s just bad form.

      My good friend in the UK, HER friend and his partner are adopting. he had to get a letter from his general practitioner stating he was in good health, for the adoption. I think just general good, not dying, type of health. I don’t know. Anyway, the GP refused to sign off on it, because in HIS opinion, “gayness” was a mental illness. *smh* how did this douche complete medical school? And HOW is he the man’s GP – surely he should have given him some notice before? I’m not familiar with UK law but i’m almost certain that crap HAS to be illegal

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      O MY GOD that HAS to be illegal!!!
      That’s where a doctor’s opinion on what is and isn’t socially acceptable interferes with their JOB!

      If anyone else did it, they would be sacked!
      I couldn’t refuse to serve a gay person. or a coloured person, or a disabled person in my shop. Whether I believe it or not, I signed a contract, a doctor takes an oath, and we HAVE to do our jobs.

      That has to have ALL sorts of ILLEGAL stamped on it!

      Where is the line drawn, where someone who works in healthcare, HAS to put aside their own personal opinions, whatever they may be, for the good of the patient?

    • TngldBlue

      Most states have “conscious clauses” that allow doctors to opt out of providing non emergency medical service due to religious or conscientious objections. Most of them came about after Roe v Wade. Shocking.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      That’s ridiculous!

    • Bethany Ramos

      I can’t even wrap my mind around this.

    • JLH1986

      I know “Gayness” and none of it’s equally lame predecessors or another names are not in the DSM IV or DSM V. I’m not sure what the UK equivalent is…but…yea. What a dbag.

    • MellyG

      Right? And he was quoting something REALLY outdated, by like 60 years – great physican there! I want my doctors using 60 year old medical training! Yay leeches!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      “Excuse me doc, I heard you were from Medieval times- do you do any trepanning?”

    • Mikster

      Catholic schools fire teachers for getting pregnant out of wedlock all the time.

    • MellyG

      To do so it has to be part of the employment agreement though, as in, the employee had notice that was a condition of her employment. (i often draft employment agreements – various private entities can have all kinds of clauses, from religion to dress code, to all kinds of things, but it has to be agreed upon and made known to the employee- that’s key

    • Mikster

      K that makes sense. (And, as an aside- in no way do I support this at all). But isn’t this similar to doctors refusing to perform tubal ligations, birth control, pharmacists refusing BCP and EC on grounds of their religion? If they are protected in doing so, why would it not apply to this?

    • MellyG

      I’m not saying he’s not protected – i’m honestly not sure. I think the way it was handled was unprofessional, as there was no notice to the patient. (she was already under his care – so not cool). I imagine that would violate his professional (not legal) code, and thus subject to discipline professionally (but not legally)

    • Mikster

      Um A devout Catholic wouldn’t be helping a gay couple conceive either, and maybe not unwed, LOL. Was raised in the RCC from the cradle and am recovering form it. But their theology is pretty strict. They won’t necessarily agree to marry 2 people just because they are pregnant either.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      I was raised in Catholic Ireland, but luckily escaped much of the general doom and gloom. My mother’s father is Muslim, my gran is Protestant, my mother was raised in an open house (you decide what to want to believe) and my dad was old school catholic, but they left it up to me and my bro to decide what we wanted to believe. I was baptised when I was six but chose to be Atheist when I was 8.

    • Mikster

      I ended up realizing I was a pagan all along, and have been happily following that path ever since late teens/early 20s.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      I’m delighted you found a path that makes you happy. =)
      Too many people are quick to shoot down other people’s beliefs.
      I do not hold with organised religion but that’s just from my experience. I do not believe in god, however, I will ALWAYS give other people’s religions the respect they deserve.

  • pineapplegrasss

    I wouldn’t want his judgey hands on me after I found out what he thought of me. Good riddance to that Dr for her.

  • CMP414

    I am really surprised about this woman’s OB. I am a practicing Catholic and I support surrogacy so this is something I never considered. I am giving birth this year for the second time in a Catholic hospital. The OB that saw me last visit said that the hospital does not tie tubes but I was always prescribed birth control pills in my 7 years as a patient there. Unless it is the policy of the hospital, this doctor needs to behave more professionally by putting aside his personal views and focusing on his patients.

  • Crusty Socks

    Like all services, if they don’t treat their customer right, move onto the next best available.

    I get that an OB is hyper-super-duper-personal to preggers, but who the hell cares about the personal beliefs of this one OB.

    It’s best to move on, not let it get to you and find a more accommodating OB.

    Good luck to your friend Beth

    • Crusty Socks

      Also, Beth forgot to Judgy™

      Eve, please ban her! Or send her to KS for her 10 spankin’

    • Bethany Ramos


  • robbie

    Religion should always be an avenue of love and kindness. If the doctor was comfortable in his convictions he would have met with her personally, chatted and founda new doctor for her. Feeling the need to be right is usually not kind.

    • Bethany Ramos

      So true!

  • jendra_berri

    Your friend is better off without this mean doctor. He should have seen to her care, but since he’s too busy being judgemental to care about what happens to her, nuts to him.
    I mean, does he not see patients who are atheists or of another religion? Unmarried? Using contraception but had an oops? What bullshit,

  • SA

    I’m kind of surprised she hadn’t discussed the surrogacy with her OB before she started the process? But why didn’t they explain this to her over the phone?

    What astounds me about this is that Catholics are very against abortion, however don’t want to take care of a baby already in the womb either? WTF?

  • BrittanyS

    I’ve come across a similar problem with overly religious doctors as well. I have no problem with your faith just so long as it is not denying me medication. I have been denied birth control, & plan b because a Catholic doctor deemed it ‘unethical’. Living in the ‘bible belt’ I’ve had to switch doctors several times because of it. Its a pain in the arse.

  • Kathleen Sullivan

    I am outraged for your friend to have encountered this. Being a surrogate is such a wonderful and selfless gift.

  • blh

    I’m sorry, I think the perks of being a doctor is that you get to pick the patients you want. And it’s not unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat someone unless say, they saw a person dying and refused to help them. She can get another doctor, it’s not really a big deal.

    • Emma Katherine

      I think the perk of being a doctor is you get to help people. If it is against your moral code to prescribe birth control or treat pregnant women who conceived using non-traditional means, maybe he’s in the wrong profession. It is completely un-ethical for a doctor to let his personal beliefs impact how he treats patients. Dont by a OB-GYN if you have issues with ways to conceive/helping women with basic health needs (ie birth control)

    • MellyG

      I’m fairly certain the way he HANDLED it was unethical. He had already STARTED treating her, then he refused to further treat her, and didn’t even have the balls to tell her, he outsourced it to his nurse, who was quite flippant and unprofessional.

  • aCongaLine

    Yikes. And an OB that refuses to write scripts for birth control? That’s like working at McDonald’s and refusing to offer ketchup. WTF.

    It’s probably best that he bailed on her.

    Also, she’s amazing.

  • Steph

    I once watched an episode of Pokemon where the main character complained because a doctor treated the Pokemon of one of the bad guys in the show.

    The doctor’s reply?

    “To a doctor, a patient is a patient, there’s no such thing as ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’. A doctor’s job is to heal, not to judge.”

    So…yeah…somehow a cartoon has apparently instilled me with better values than most of my peers.

  • tk88

    What a jerk.

  • K.

    Hold the phone.

    Why is someone who is:
    1. anti-birth control
    2. anti abortion (I’m assuming, in this case)
    3. anti-surrogacy
    4. anti-single/unwed motherhood

    …a fucking OBGYN in (I presume) the United States??! I mean, fine–he referred her and I guess it’s his right to do that, but for fuck’s sake. If his personal beliefs interfere that badly with the job then find another profession.

    This is like a some math teacher saying they don’t agree with homosexuality on religious grounds and then refusing to allow gay students in her classes. WTF??

  • Gretta

    I think that perhaps the doctor could have done a better job communicating with his already established patient. Perhaps coming to talk to her himself or even having someone from the office call prior to her arrival would have been better. No one likes to be blindsided.

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