• Tue, Feb 18 - 1:00 pm ET

10 Stripper Names For The Old Lady In Your Life Who Refuses To Be Called ‘Grandma’

shutterstock_157004816I have a friend who is married but does not have children yet. Her mom still hasn’t come to terms with the fact that she will eventually be called “grandma.” She doesn’t like it, not one bit. Now, my friend’s mom is a really fun, sweet lady, but she came up with a few off-the-wall ideas that she’s trying to push for grandma names.

Her dream list of grandma names could be used interchangeably for stripper names. A little tyke may not be the wiser, but I’m sure friends and family would snicker at a grandma that insisted on a yoonique name, beyond the traditional Grandma, Gran, Nana, or Mimi.

Or, maybe my friend’s mom is onto something. Stripper names are certainly special, which is why I’ve compiled a top 10 list of the best exotic dancer names that can be used interchangeably for “grandma.”

If you have a young grandma in your life that doesn’t want to cash in her chips just yet, you’ll have 10 adorable monikers to choose from:

1. Angel

Angel may work for a young grandma, and it sure beats a stripper name like Christabel—by a slim margin.

2. Bambi

Bambi just might pass for a young grandma/stripper name, until your kid watches Bambi for the first time and has a terrible association with Grandma for the rest of her life.

3. Bunny

I’ve heard of grandmas called “Bunny” before, but the Playboy Bunny connection is hard to shake.

4. Cashmere

Cashmere is soft, warm, and comforting, and Cashmere’s also shaking her moneymaker in the Champagne Room—hey-o!

5. Cinnamon

This is not made up. This was my friend’s mom’s top grandma name choice.

6. Cookie

Sweet little old grandmas are known for baking cookies, but the name “Cookie” always makes me think of a polite term for lady parts.

7. Diamond

Sounds fancy and all, but it hardly screams loving Nana.

8. Duchess

Eve’s husband calls her “Duchess,” and she’s already got it in the works as her future grandma name.

9. Queenie

I have known some real-life young grandmas that preferred to be called “Queenie” to “Granny.”

10. Precious

This is so adorbs that it just might work. But I don’t think that I could call my mom “Precious” with a straight face.

(Image: michaeljung/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • Kay_Sue

    That bunny in number three has some awesome moves, though. That’s pretty killer.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahah I love that gif – and the girl making it rain in #7 that looks dead inside.

    • Kay_Sue

      She really does. I had to scroll back and look again, lol!

    • Crusty Socks

      I think you might have problems Kay. Polelease seek help.

    • Crusty Socks

      It’s a hare raising experience for me too

      (I’ll show myself out)

    • Kay_Sue

      But don’t! I love puns!

  • http://carrie-murphy.com/ Carrie Murphy

    For me, Cinnamon and Diamond really take the cake. Really.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    Ok but what can I do about my mom who asks me EVERY TIME we visit why my kid calls her “Grandma [name]” rather than just Grandma. Every single time. It’s because my mother-in-law also prefers Grandma, so they are Grandma [name] and Grandma [name] so she (my kid) knows which one we’re talking about. I had the exact same situation growing up with my grandmas. I’m 99% sure my mom remembers me explaining it to her and just brings it up every time because it bugs her.

    • Bethany Ramos

      My mom is also Grandma [name], just because that’s what my niece calls her. I had the same with my own Gma. Maybe you can push Cinnamon on her?

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Hopefully.

    • Itpainsmetosay

      Both of my grandmas have the name Frances (one of them is really Mary Frances but we cant just say Mary for some reason) which I get tired of saying so I call them both Grandma and use a combo of infliction and telepathy to let my mom know which I’m talking about. It doesn’t usually work.

  • Rachel Sea

    And here in my friends circle we say it’s our job to keep the kids off the pole. I think these would send the wrong message.

  • Jessie

    You know, I would prefer ANY of these over my MIL demanding that if we ever have a kid, they call her “Auntie Tammi” instead of grandma, nana, meemaw, etc… Ummm NO. You are NOT your son’s sister, you are his mother. They will already have an actual auntie on my side, and I will not confuse my child over what the term “auntie” means just to save your ego. >_>

    • Bethany Ramos

      Noooooo.

  • ted3553

    My little guy has a granny and a grandma but I’m going to work on convincing my mom (who’s granny) to go by cashmere because that is awesome and I will call my mom that at the top of my lungs next time we’re visiting her and friends at the senior’s drop in

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahaha please please please.

  • http://naturegirlscrittercorner.blogspot.com/ Iggy Pig

    Humans confuse me. I thought cinnamon was food? I’ve never eaten it, though. I don’t think guinea pigs can digest it.

  • SA

    Wonder if one of these will work for my FIL’s girlfriend who is my age?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Oh, snap! She sounds “Precious.”

    • Crusty Socks

      Oh, maybe SA married a guy who’s muuuuch younger?

    • SA

      I wish. It would be MUCH less awkward than listening to a woman I barely know, who isn’t even middle-aged refer to herself as my kid’s grandma. “Precious” just suits it. ;)

  • T

    LMAO….My kids have “big gramma” 9my mom, shes 6′ tall) and little gramma (ex MIL, about 5′ tops)….lmao and little gramma who cleans big grammas house (My grandmother, before she passed away) HAHA! I thought it was cute, they just kinda came up with those names themselves.

    • steampunk

      My grandmothers were big grandma (maternal) and little grandma (paternal) too! Same thing…maternal grandma was 5’10, paternal grandma was 4’11!

  • Lilly

    Now I feel like not enough effort was put into this by my family — we just have Grandma (name) & Grandma (name), but since I am lazy when there is only one around it is just Grandma.

    Since my son is the only grand-kid on both sides I feel like we set a lazy precedent. But at the same time my apathy is winning over any cool change.

  • Amber Starr

    My fiance’s mom is Nana, which is ok I suppose… But my mom is Gigi. It fits her perfectly because she is way too glamorous to be Grandma, Gran, Nana, etc.

    Gigi is the shizz, but Duchess is pretty awesome too.

    • Jessica

      I had a Gigi! She was my babysitter when I was tiny. Her & her husband (Pawpaw) were my grandparents-away-from-grandparents :)

    • jane

      My grandmother has become gigi. because she was grandma to all of her grandkids, but now that she’s a Great Grandma, g.g. just seemed like less of a mouthful than being great grandma every time.

    • Shea

      I called my great-grandma GG, but my mom called her Bubbe (Yiddish for grandma) when talking to her and referred to her as GG when talking to me about her. It was a touch confusing, frankly.

  • Krysta Dey

    My Mom is called “Ma’am” by her grandchildren. She loves the idea that when she’s out with them and they call to her, everyone around will think she has the most polite grandchildren in the world ;)

  • lizinthelibrary

    I know multiple grandmas who use “honey” as their grandma name. Ugh. It sounds so weird to have a little 3 year-old boy call his grandmother honey. Mimi is also popular and I don’t get it. Of course I also know a “grand dude” so let’s not pretend this is only a female problem.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    This is effed. I know a 40-something grandmother and she goes by… Grandma. I intend to be a Grammy one day, like my mom’s mom.

  • SusannahJoy

    I call my grandmother “Muna.” Apparently my oldest brother called her that because he couldn’t pronounce “Grandma” and it stuck. My cousins call her “Pum-pum” for some (probably similar) reason.

  • Mari

    My kids call their grandma(my mom), believe it or not, “Big Momma”. Just like the movies. When I was younger, I called my grandma “Deli”, pronounced “Deh-lee”, because my family Puerto Rican and I could not say “Abuela” or “Abuelita”, so Deli it was. My MIL demands that my kids call her “Sugar”. Nope. They actually call my MIL “Missy(MEE-SEE)”. Ah, kids…

    • emily

      My mom is Gramma Sugar, because she gave my nephew and niece a choice of Gramma Sugar or Gramma Sandwich. The best names are the ones made by the KIDS! We will not be fostering this sugar nonsense either. When this baby starts talking he’ll figure it out.

  • Maria Guido

    Stripping cow is going to haunt me for the rest of the day.

  • Larkin

    My grandparents were Nanny and Grandpa on one side, and Grandaddy and Grandma Moo on the other. ;-) The second set used to have a farm with a cow, and my oldest brother started referring to her as Grandma Moo when he was super little. I actually think my favorites are some friends of mine whose parents go by Meemaw and Peepaw, solely because that’s what their very first grandchild called them when he couldn’t pronounce Grandma and Grandpa. Haha.

    Fortunately, my parents and my MIL are all very reasonable (if somewhat uninspired, lol). We have Grandma [name], Grandma [other name], and Grandaddy.

  • YarghMatey

    My Mom refused to go by “the G word.” Instead, she wanted to go by my cousins’ nickname for her. It’s a cute mispronounced version of her first name, which works just fine. Giggling over this list, though.

    • Itpainsmetosay

      We want my aunt to go by Jeanie (middle name Jean) for her grandson so thats not to weird.

  • ElleJai

    There’s three Nana’s and two Grandpa’s for my kid. One Nana is Nana [name] (my stepmom), and sometimes my mum will change it up by being Nanny.

    Either the kid’ll make his own arrangements or we’ll use context/location to work it out lol.

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  • Louise

    My Mum wants to be known as Mimi to her grandchildren. I think it’s gorgeous!

  • Ddaisy

    I actually have a great-grandma Bunny! But she was dead before I was born, and she was a grandma before Playboy ever existed, so I think she gets a pass :)

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