Melissa Harris-Perry announced the birth of her baby daughter this weekend. She was conceived via surrogacy. Today she tells the story of what led her and her husband to make the decision to go the surrogacy route – and it is really transparent and beautiful.
I understand that people in the public eye may not always want to share the personal details about something as private as a struggle with fertility. But I love it when they do, because I really think it makes women feel so much less alone. Harris-Perry’s story is very inspiring.
She talks about her “easy” pregnancy with her first child. She became pregnant soon after decided to try, had a natural unassisted birth and assumed it would be the “first of several pregnancies and that I would add to my family immediately.” She then explains, “life did not work out that way.” Yeah – it rarely does, and it can be a really lonely place to navigate. Harris-Perry has the power and platform to reach so many people – and it’s amazing that she uses her own struggles as a way to give others hope. Well, I can’t speak to her motivations, but ultimately it’s what she’s done:
I spent years suffering from the agony of uterine fibroids. Finally, in 2008, after fighting back with an arsenal of homeopathic and medical weapons, I decided to have my uterus removed. I wept for the children I would never have and made peace with the idea that one is enough.
Once again, life did not work out that way.
She goes on to tell the story of meeting her husband, realizing she did want more children and going the surrogacy route:
My pregnancy with my first daughter was blessedly uneventful; this one, however, was indeed an event. It took two families, three states, four doctors, and five attorneys to get this little girl here. And while our gestational carrier has no genetic tie to our little one, she is now our family. She gave our daughter love, safety, and nourishment for nine months. On Valentine’s Day, she gave her life and placed her in our arms.
“Life did not work out that way.” Yup. It rarely does. I appreciate Harris-Perry for sharing her story and reminding us that although life doesn’t always work out the way we plan – the new plan, the one we didn’t necessarily plan on orchestrating – may play out better than anything we imagined.
(photo: Getty Images)