Here Are A Few Really ‘Bad Moms’ And I Think It’s Time We Think Of A New Label

Having a sense of humor and the occasional glass of wine doesn’t make you a “bad mom.” This self-deprecating thing we do when we call ourselves “bad moms” is just a tool, people. It says, Hey! I’m not perfect either! Isn’t this a relief? We can totally fail at this ‘perfect mom’ expectation together!

“Bad mom” anecdotes are comforting to me and I know a lot of mothers feel the same way. Eve Vawter wrote today about being included in a Salon piece that attacks women who call themselves “bad moms.” The piece made me realize that if there are any moms out there I identify with – it’s the “bad ones.” This made me think that maybe it’s time we thought up a new label – “bad mom” doesn’t seem to be cutting it.

Moms are allowed to have a sense of humor. We’re kidding when we call ourselves “bad.” Failing at crafts and Pinterest does not make you a bad mother. Neither does not shopping organic, feeding your kids fast food occasionally, or complaining that motherhood is boring.

Here are some really bad moms – just to clear up any confusion the Internet may have with the label.

1. This Mom

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Sonora Police Dept.

This mom drove her car off the road and into an embankment on Saturday, crashing into a tree. Her six-year-old daughter riding in the car with her was saved from injury thanks to her car seat. Mom was described as “combative and intoxicated.”

2. This Mom

TABASCO_TWITTER_PIC

Twitter

Jessica Beagley, 36 was was found guilty of one count of misdemeanor child abuse for forcing her son to take cold showers and drink hot sauce. She’s not just a bad mom, she’s also really stupid. She went on Dr. Phil to brag about it and had another one of her children shoot video of her forcing her son to drink the hot sauce and not letting him spit it out of his mouth.

3. This Mom

Mom-and-daughter-posed-topless-in-hot-tub-post

Shutterstock

A mom in Missouri posed naked in a hot tub with her 14-year-old daughter, who had previously been sent to counseling for sending naked pictures of herself to her peers (the daughter, not the mom). The images were uploaded to Snapchat, then circulated around a few high schools. Great.

4. This Mom

1390521518000-Polanco-Franklin-Love

Bristow Police

Love Sonia Altagracia Polanco Franklin, 43 was charged with felony child neglect last month after her 4-year-old called 911 to let them know he was hungry. His mom had left him home alone for two hours.

5. This Mom

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Shutterstock

Dionne Warren left her four-year-old home alone, with a loaded gun under her mattress. He shot himself and died of his injuries.

See? These are bad moms. The rest of us – not so much. We’re desperately in need of a new label. I’m going to brainstorm tonight after I put my kids to sleep, pour myself a giant glass of wine, and do a happy dance that I finally get some alone time. That doesn’t make me a “bad mom” either.

(photo: ollyy/ shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You can have my bad mom label when you pry it out of my cold gnarled old lady hands

      • Miss Isis

        Which reminds me when are we going to see another Bad Mom Advice article? Pretty please : )

      • Crusty Socks

        OOOOH Eve, I could totally write this one!

        Prettier please :)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I need questions!

      • Miss Isis

        Well I’m a single mom with severe social anxiety and a 14 year old daughter – question’s will be forth coming!!

      • Tea

        I have one!

        We want a baby, but adoption is expensive and hearttbreaking, how long can a child be left at a lost and found before “Finders keepers” is declared, or do all lost babies become property of the goblin king?

        (As you can tell, we’re going to be Great dads.)

      • Rachel Sea

        That’s why I bottle-drink wine. I can’t be expected to pour correctly with one hand full of labels.

      • Maria Guido

        Fine. We can keep “bad mom.” They can have “criminal.”

      • Alex Lee

        #ink4lyfe

      • pineapplegrasss

        We will graduate you to Bad Glam’Ma before that happens

    • Bethany Ramos

      I saw that twat on Dr Phil! Also, I think the kid was an adopted Russian orphan, which made me sadder. :(

      • Guest

        That whole episode was horrible :-(

      • Muggle

        I think the poor boy might have FAS, too. It’s not unusual for kids adopted from Russia. Regardless of whether he did, though, he clearly had behavior problems that weren’t his fault.

      • Bethany Ramos

        OMG, no. :(

      • Muggle

        I don’t know if he was actually formally diagnosed with FAS, so take that with many, many grains of salt. But a lot of people with it can seem normal-but-ADHD-like, or somewhat normal with obvious behavior problems and learning difficulties that aren’t obviously FAS. I knew someone who fell into the latter category.

        But the parents even straight-up admitted he had behavior problems. that is not how you deal with behavior problems. You take the child to a goddamn therapist, not pour hot sauce down his throat and force him to strip and take a cold shower and terrorize him into “behaving.”

    • AnastasiaMcNally

      This is all so fucked up like do people actually treat their (or any) children like this? What vital part of their psyche are they missing gah

    • http://www.gypsyforlife.blogspot.com/ Trista Crass

      I thought I was terrible until I read these. Jesus.

      I let my son watch too much TV. But it’s just nature documentaries with Paul Simon’s ‘Graceland’ playing over the soundtrack.

      …so that’s better, right?

      • whiteroses

        My son loves Dr. Who (he has never seen certain episodes) and The Pioneer Woman. I make no apologies.

      • keelhaulrose

        My daughter watches a lot of cooking shows with me. I didn’t realize how much was sinking in until she grabbed four random items from the fridge and pantry and told me to use them in making dinner or I was going to “get chopped”.
        For the record I did manage to use the leftover fried chicken, macaroni, and green beans. But I was at a loss as to how to use the blueberry muffin mix. I didn’t, so I got chopped.

      • whiteroses

        I love this more than I can possibly tell you. I originally started watching Food Network because it had almost no cursing and was teaching a useful skill, and I turned on the TV when it was just me and my son alone in the house, just to hear another human voice.

        I started by watching The Pioneer Woman, and my son was attracted to the opening theme music at first. We’ve reached the point, nearly a year and a half later, where he knows it as “The Ree Show”. There’s always one on the Tivo, because that’s the only way I can go to the bathroom by myself. He points at the TV and says “Ree! Ree!” He claps when he sees Ted Allen. And he loves Giada DeLaurentiis. I suspect he’s going to know Food Network personalities better than he knows animated characters. And I am totally fine with that.

      • LiteBrite

        My son loves The Simpsons. I make no apologies either.

        I have censored certain episodes though. Many of the earlier ones are okay, but there a few that even I have to say “Uh NO” to.

      • Maria Guido

        Show off. ;)

    • radicalhw

      If drinking red wine after the kiddos are tucked in bed makes me a bad mom, then please call Faye Dunaway to let her know she can star in my biopic.

    • Rachel Sea

      People who don’t get the cheeky Bad Mom label are being intentionally obtuse. That Salon writer is blaming a non-existent movement for her own judgy behavior.

    • http://candidnation.blogspot.com/ Lyfé Wisdom

      candidnation.blogspot.com here. This article shook my spine, I mean it is horrifying to read these situations. Why would they do such things is my first question? After all, a mother is a role model. Why would you abuse children or neglect them? That’s ruining the children of tomorrow! And if the mothers had to abuse or neglect, why did they give birth in the first place? SHAME.

      • Rachel Sea

        Few plan to serve as a horrible warning. As the entire internet regularly demonstrates, having your shit together is not a prerequisite for reproduction.

      • http://candidnation.blogspot.com/ Lyfé Wisdom

        true, i would agree in most cases. make sure to visit The Candid Nation and follow!

      • brebay

        “And plus”…the writing on that blog made me nearly as sad…

      • http://candidnation.blogspot.com/ Lyfé Wisdom

        by blog you mean this article?

    • Abbe

      Which parent are kids going to better off with, the debbie-downer no sense of humor mom (like the salon writer) or a mom that actually wants to enjoy life and who cuts corners occasionally?

    • Justme

      These “bad moms” didn’t make me feel better about feeding my child Mac and cheese tonight because it’s Tuesday and I’m tired. These moms make me sad that these babies don’t have someone to lovingly boil water and stir up space cheese, milk and butter for them to eat in front of the tv while mommy surfs Mommyish.

      But seriously. Every child deserves a loving mother (or father…or mommies….or daddies…or…you get the idea).

    • ShanLea

      I call myself a bad mom without apologies, but deep down I know I am kick-ass, especially for being an unintentional single mom. So what if they’re eating junk food again and watching TV or playing video games for an ENTIRE weekend, they’re happy and healthy. Also, and excuse me for bragging, but y’all are my new internet pals so I have to share…my tweener won our county spelling bee tonight and will be moving on to state!! Would a truly bad mom have a kid that could spell schism and Pavlovian without spell check?? Yeah, I thought not LOL

      • Ddaisy

        Congrats!! I always wanted to do spelling bees when I was a kid, but there just weren’t any around. So I shall root for your kid instead :)

      • pineapplegrasss

        Good job you go momma! Congrats to your offspring for being so smart:) My 8yo just graduated out of the after school reading help program bc I am so bad that I read to him every night!
        Ps. I thought bad meant cool like Michael Jackson :)

      • ShanLea

        Yes, us terrible mothers reading to kids and stuff…how could we? Although, he did confess to me that one word he had to spell he only knew from playing Final Fantasy….

      • pineapplegrasss

        an educational tool ;)

    • MegzWray

      I saw this mug the other day and I MUST have it!!

      • Kay_Sue

        Well, I know what I am making this weekend. This mug is now on my To Do List.

      • SA

        haha…I just snorted.

    • RexabSixela

      How about “real mom”

    • Pingback: Calling Me A Bad Mom Doesn't Make You Right

    • Greg

      You.slandered the woman in the Missouri snapchat pic case, maybe you should do some research and make an apology.