Having a sense of humor and the occasional glass of wine doesn’t make you a “bad mom.” This self-deprecating thing we do when we call ourselves “bad moms” is just a tool, people. It says, Hey! I’m not perfect either! Isn’t this a relief? We can totally fail at this ‘perfect mom’ expectation together!

“Bad mom” anecdotes are comforting to me and I know a lot of mothers feel the same way. Eve Vawter wrote today about being included in a Salon piece that attacks women who call themselves “bad moms.” The piece made me realize that if there are any moms out there I identify with – it’s the “bad ones.” This made me think that maybe it’s time we thought up a new label – “bad mom” doesn’t seem to be cutting it.

Moms are allowed to have a sense of humor. We’re kidding when we call ourselves “bad.” Failing at crafts and Pinterest does not make you a bad mother. Neither does not shopping organic, feeding your kids fast food occasionally, or complaining that motherhood is boring.

Here are some really bad moms – just to clear up any confusion the Internet may have with the label.

1. This Mom

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Sonora Police Dept.

This mom drove her car off the road and into an embankment on Saturday, crashing into a tree. Her six-year-old daughter riding in the car with her was saved from injury thanks to her car seat. Mom was described as “combative and intoxicated.”

2. This Mom

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Twitter

Jessica Beagley, 36 was was found guilty of one count of misdemeanor child abuse for forcing her son to take cold showers and drink hot sauce. She’s not just a bad mom, she’s also really stupid. She went on Dr. Phil to brag about it and had another one of her children shoot video of her forcing her son to drink the hot sauce and not letting him spit it out of his mouth.

3. This Mom

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Shutterstock

A mom in Missouri posed naked in a hot tub with her 14-year-old daughter, who had previously been sent to counseling for sending naked pictures of herself to her peers (the daughter, not the mom). The images were uploaded to Snapchat, then circulated around a few high schools. Great.

4. This Mom

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Bristow Police

Love Sonia Altagracia Polanco Franklin, 43 was charged with felony child neglect last month after her 4-year-old called 911 to let them know he was hungry. His mom had left him home alone for two hours.

5. This Mom

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Shutterstock

Dionne Warren left her four-year-old home alone, with a loaded gun under her mattress. He shot himself and died of his injuries.

See? These are bad moms. The rest of us – not so much. We’re desperately in need of a new label. I’m going to brainstorm tonight after I put my kids to sleep, pour myself a giant glass of wine, and do a happy dance that I finally get some alone time. That doesn’t make me a “bad mom” either.

(photo: ollyy/ shutterstock)