• Mon, Feb 17 - 8:00 am ET

If Your Husband Is An Excellent Dad He Probably Has Zero Interest In Having Sex With You – Dumb Science Says

shutterstock_166616954Science you are such a cruel mistress. You tell us amazing things like how universes are formed but you have yet to give us cupcakes that won’t make us fat or cures for cancer and you also tell us dumb things like this: new fathers who are better at being dads have sex less often. Or at least according to this article in The Daily Mail. A scientist at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana named Lee Gettler tracked the lives and hormone levels of 433 dudes from the Philippine Islands.

He discovered that the men with the most testosterone were the most likely to become dads. He also discovered that after having a baby their testosterone levels dropped, along with how much sex they were having. I’m sure that even though science can show us that the sex hormone levels dropped, it also cannot show us if the men were distracted by other things, new dad pressure, work pressures, the fact that season two of House Of Cards just came out.

I think evolution has shaped male physiology to help men invest in their children and provide good care for them.’

Dr Gettler added that the drop in libido could well be nature’s way of stopping the new father from straying.

So, if you just had a baby you probably aren’t the only one not interested in boning, but according to this study, the hormone levels go back to normal in a year or two so  by then you should have probably (hopefully) been able to find decent childcare so you and your partner can go back to getting busy like bunnies with no worries again.

(Image:Africa Studio/shutterstock)

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  • Lackadaisical

    I can see that a less selfish and thus better father isn’t one who constantly says “what about me? Enough moaning about pushing a baby out and breastfeeding woes, I haven’t had my fun in too long. Your body belongs to me and not you”. However I really do think that men are not simple beasts and are better than their testosterone levels. Just because a new father would like a bit more slap and tickle than is available does not mean that he is pushing it on his wife, neglecting the baby or straying. Also, like you say, there are other factors involved when a new baby arrives that may well have affected testosterone levels and frequency of sex. While interesting it seems a fairly simplistic (and pointless) study.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      but +100000 points for slap and tickle

  • Bethany Ramos

    MAYBE It’s because the good dad is just as exhausted as the good mom from splitting up all of the childcare? Just a thought!

  • jsterling93

    ??? Give me a break. Now it is true our son is 10 months old now so not the early days anymore but from the start my husband has been an amazing dad. Sharing the duties of middle of the night feedings and dirty diapers and house work. But he also still has his high sex drive. These types of studies only look at one thing at a time. For one thing they check hormone levels but did they really check frequency of sex? Or just the levels?

  • Harriet Meadow

    This explains why my husband is such an excellent dad… I was going to post a winky face but maybe a sad face is more appropriate? :(

    • Tauren Stiles

      Based on this new science, my husband should win Dad of the year. :(

  • meteor_echo

    Well, I suppose this study explains why my man-friend wouldn’t be a good father. I’m lucky that I’d be a good mother if I wanted a kid, too!

  • SA

    Well, this makes me feel better. ;)

  • Crusty Socks

    Must be the Balut (look it up)

  • Anika

    Seriously? “Dumb Science Says”?

  • Kay_Sue

    Well, this is another study done on something that…is already pretty well-documented.

    We know that even being in the presence of their child is a testosterone blocker. There’s a wide range of possible explanations, from the whole “not-straying” to the idea that testosterone is inhibits empathy, which would be useful while bonding with baby because it’s the difference between “oh my god this thing hates me” and “well, it’s the only way they can express that they are uncomfortable or lonely or need me for something”.

  • Jayamama

    My husband is an awesome father, one who genuinely wants to come home and play with my toddler. He’ll get up with the fussy baby even if he has to work the next day because my nerves are just fried from the crying. His face just lights up when he’s around them, and it’s wonderful to watch. But he still can’t seem to keep his hands off of me, even though he works 12 hour days sometimes and I have yet to lose the baby weight. He respects the fact that I’m often tired and not up to intimacy, but I don’t think his sex drive has diminished one bit since having children. Wish I could say the same about me.