valentineThis morning, my husband and I were having a chitty-chat about the significance of Valentine’s Day in high school.

I only had one short term boyfriend in high school, and I had a pretty good Valentine’s Day experience. I went on a triple date with him, his younger brother and his girlfriend, and his mom and stepdad to a costume-themed restaurant called The Magic Time Machine—where we were served by Princess Leia or Pocahontas, I can’t remember. Yes, it was as cool as it sounded.

My husband didn’t have any comparable Valentine’s Day memories from high school. But he did enlighten me to a trend that I had no idea existed among high school boys.

If you don’t want to buy your girlfriend a gift, or if you simply can’t afford it, make sure to break up with her by February 13, you idiot.

Harsh, but true. My husband said that he and all of his friends were always broke as a joke, working part-time jobs in high school. And then there came the girlfriend, always expecting some kind of beautiful gift that she saw on a cheesy Valentine’s Day jewelry commercial.

Instead of paying $200 to buy a necklace, earrings, chocolate, flowers, and even a nice dinner, it was way better to cut your losses before Valentine’s Day. Even if you really loved her, you could probably make it up to her after February 14 and get back together, as most high schoolers are wont to do. You’d save $200, and you wouldn’t have to put on a tie to go to dinner. From a guy’s perspective, the plan is brilliant.

Now that I’m on to these Valentine’s Day schemes, I’m going to keep a watchful eye on my sons when they hit high school age in a decade or so. Maybe I’ll slip them twenty bucks to buy their girlfriend some roses, or maybe I’ll make them save up for a special gift. Either way, I’m going to kick them in the ass if they even attempt this high school breakup plan to save money on V Day.

(photo: Getty Images)