• Thu, Feb 13 - 10:00 am ET

This Article About A Mum Sending Her Kid To Private School So She Can Bag A Rich Husband Is Basically The Best

83778866YOU GUYS! It’s our favorite thing ever! We haven’t gotten to do this in MONTHS and some of you may remember the last time we did when we all discussed that evil stepmother who threw the Christmas tree out the window and we also all learned our new favorite word, which is #BOLTHOLE. Well now The Daily Mail wins again by bringing us this magical tale of a mother of a nine-year-old daughter named Matilda who sends her kids to private school NOT because she wants her to be a learned business women, but because she wants her to be a stay-at-home mum.

IT’S THE BEST THING EVER!

OK, first of all, Rachel Ragg and her daughter look like the stock photo images I look for when I am trying to find 1980s people. I mean, sure, they are simply lovely people and all but they don’t look like they come from this decade at all unless these are how people look when they make statements like:

When I grow up I’m going to marry a rich man,’ she declared last week. ‘Then I’m going to have six children, two dogs and some ponies, and I’m going to live on a farm with a cottage for you in the garden.’

Which ya know, my kid says shit like this all the time except she adds in : and we will live in a castle and have a forest full of gum drops trees and a chocolate river and I will be queen of all the unicorns . 

Rachel goes on to explain:

But not because it will be her launching pad into a stellar career as a lawyer, doctor, or magazine editor. As we see it, Oxford is the ideal place for her to find a husband with the right background and career prospects to make enough money so Matilda can become a stay‑at-home mother.

 

Which ya know, that’s fine. Who really cares? If this is what she wants for her daughter’s future than I guess cool story ‘bro? BUT then she goes on to say:

 

Before feminists start howling with derision, let me explain.

I’m not sure her ambitions for her kid are going to make anyone howl with anything. I may not want this sort of life for my own daughter, someone else may want this life precisely, but are any of us going to freak out and become all enraged by this? Um, no.

Rachel goes on to tell us all about her career and how unhappy she was being a working women:

At the end of my final lecture in 2004, I told the female students: ‘Forget all this career nonsense — marry a rich man and have children while you’re young.’

Interestingly, the only people shocked by this were my colleagues: the young male ones and the ageing feminists.

‘You are a disgraceful role model to young women,’ a male colleague and one-time friend said angrily. ‘I thought you were intelligent,’ a female colleague added sadly.

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  • CMJ

    Crap. I did private school wrong.

  • Tinyfaeri

    The grass is always greener way over there. In this case, it’s radioactively green, and blinking while secreting Patron Platinum.

  • jane

    Please, please, please, may karma make Matilda a lesbian who wants nothing more than to be in a punk rock band.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      hahaha the best! Did you see her picture? she does not look too happy with mummy’s plans

    • pixie

      She can be a new generation of riot grrrl, writing provocative messages across her stomach in lipstick!

    • Sara610

      Lesbian punk rocker by night/lesbian doctor-astronaut-CEO by day.

  • Bethany Ramos

    I cannot get past the 80s stock photo!!!!! Now, my screensaver.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Isn’t that pic so weird?

    • Bethany Ramos

      I didn’t want to show this, but… My husband and I kind of posed like that at our baby shower a few years ago just to be assholes.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      you guys are adorable

  • chickadee

    Why, Rachel Ragg is nothing more than a 21st-century Mrs. Bennett! She is already in the process of throwing her hapless daughter at the feet of potential suitors. I hope her daughter’s career dreams don’t change anytime soon, since I doubt her mother would allow her daughter to study to be a doctor, for example.

    • Jinxie

      At least ol’ Mrs. Bennett had the excuse of NEEDING to get her daughters married off for their own well-being – she was a pill, but with no family money and no ability to earn their own livings, the girls had to marry well!

  • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

    I do not know that this article is going to do anything to help her kid’s chances of getting into Oxbridge.

    • chickadee

      Wealthy British parents are already putting this poor child on the “do not invite” list. I’m serious — when you PUBLISH your crass social-climbing aspirations in the tackiest tabloid on Earth, you ensure that you will never, ever meet your goals.

  • pixie

    Just saying, I LOVE that evil villain guy.

    But the girl is…*goes and reads again*…nine and already her mom is trying to land her a husband? I think it’s kind of sad that the mother is pushing things like that onto a girl that young, basically telling her that everything will be rainbows and butterflies as long as she marries rich and is fruitful and multiplies and is a SAHM. I guess her logic is, “well I was unhappy being a working woman, so all other working women must also be unhappy and I don’t want my daughter to be unhappy”, when she’s missing the whole point of her daughter is a different person than she is. The little girl is nine, she still has a lot of growing and changing to do. Experiences and peers change us all, especially as teenagers, so there’s a possibility that little Matilda will want to have a career and only one or no children when she’s older. There’s a chance that she won’t be straight, either.

    There’s nothing wrong with her attending private school. She might get a better education than in public school. But to tell a girl that young to have no other aspirations than to marry a rich husband doesn’t sit well with me. As does telling a group of (I’m assuming) university students/university educated people that young women should give up striving for careers (and being financially independent) and finding a husband and having children young. I’m not outraged, I just think she’s doing her daughter a huge disservice by not giving her choices, and by not telling her that she’s getting a great education and meeting possibly influential people and she can study to be a doctor or lawyer or whatever if she so chooses, but it’s also ok if she wants to be a SAHM. It reminds me of the opposite end of the spectrum of kids having to go to university because that’s what the parents decided what they wanted years before.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Yo Pixie, stop howling with derision OK?

    • pixie

      But it’s just so HARD! #unapologetic #sorrynotsorry

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      hahha #unapologetic

    • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

      AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      (did that sound derisive enough)

  • Melissa

    My grandmother used to tell me to “marry for Love, not money.” And then she’d add “but it’s just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.”

  • elle

    Well, I have bad news for this mom: money usually marries money and now when people Google your daughters name this iswhat they are going to see. Hopefully your daughter can take her excellent education and use it to do something, not just get married

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      hahha good point!

    • Sara610

      Yup. Does this mom not realize that since she plastered her idiocy on the Internet for a little bit of short-term attention, this is now going to be out there forever? Not only is it horribly unfair to her daughter, but it’s also the stupidest and most short-sighted move she could possibly have made.

    • Kelly

      The saddest thing is what happens if Matilda legitimately falls in love with a man who happens to be rich? If he discovers this, how could he not wonder if she’s only with him for his money? I mean, since she was raised to be that way and all.

  • Kay_Sue

    I was totally going to howl with derision, but then she said this, “Before feminists start howling with derision, let me explain,” and it totally stopped me in my tracks and changed my mind. *nods solemnly*

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    Well, good thing she’s widely advertising her daughter as a future housewife now. Not like that won’t be hideously embarrassing or a dating liability later in life or anything.

  • Plonk

    But in the original articles it says she goes to a single sex school. I guess she can always target her friend’s brothers but really this ploy doesn’t seem properly thought out.

    This reminded me of a junior high friend’s mother, pointing some boy out in the playground and saying “His grandfather is a greek armator. This is the one you have to hit on.” Now I wonder how she even knew what that poor boy looked like. I’m not sure I want the answer.

    • Lackadaisical

      I guess the idea is to ready the child for a future paramour at university. Even at a posh school you will get a few who do nothing with their lives and aren’t sufficiently swimming in gravy to support her daughter. By keeping her away from boys early on and making her wait to pick a chap at university you weed out a lot of the boys that wouldn’t be able to give her daughter the lifestyle she wishes she had. The scheming makes my skin crawl but the plan would have been well thought out … had she not gone public about it and in a paper considered common by the kind of husband she plans for. I wonder if she is using Kate Middleton as inspiration for the plan and secretly hopes for something a bit more than a man who can support her daughter in comfort.

  • Roberta

    Can we also mention how she has an 11 year old son. Does this son get to work towards being a stay-at-home dad? Noooope. He must get a well-paying career to support his (in my imagination) gold-digging wife.

    I so want this kid to end up married to a wealthy CEO and spends his time with the family or volunteering or something. Thank god my parents just told me “you will be a contributing member of society”.

    • Lackadaisical

      I followed the link and read her article. She says she expects her son to do well in his career and support his wife. I would hate to have a mother in law like that. She will be full of bitter resentment to a daughter in law who loves her career or a son in law who either wants to be a stay at home dad or is passionate about following a career path not swimming in riches (teacher, vicar or something artistic).

    • Roberta

      “Mom, I really want to be an accountant for a non-profit company that helps mine-field victims”. “YOU ARE NO CHILD OF MINE”

  • Lauren_Alli

    I can partially follow this mom’s thought process, because I am a working mother who also wishes she had not spent all that money on student loans and was able to afford to stay home with her kids. I get what she’s thinking. Protect my daughter from this disappointment and heartache of leaivng your children and being miserable at your job. Here is the one thing she seems to be missing though. Your daughter is not you. There are just as many miserable working moms as there are working moms who are ecstatic with their job. Some moms love getting time away from the house and some moms hate it, both of these are fine. It doesn’t make you more of woman to work, just as it doesn’t make you more of a woman to stay home. Her daughter needs to choose this path for herself. And if she ends up like me, with a master’s degree and student loans and full of “slight regrets”, then that’s her battle to fight. In your life, you should get to call the shots, period.

  • Lackadaisical

    It’s one thing to scheme but to go public like this is awful. As the mother of two boys close in age to her and bright enough that, while far to early to know or plan, are bright enough that Oxford and Cambridge aren’t ruled out yet, I am now wondering how this article would affect me if either one brought her home. I am currently torn between pity for a girl who has had a career as a trophy wife to a rich man planned out at a very young age and horror that she would bring such a managing mother in law into my sons life who I would assume would hate my son for not being born into country estate volumes of money unless he went out and made his fortune.

    I get that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a rich housewife but to plan it seriously from such a young age, with such a dismissive attitude to the idea of her daughter having a career, seems monstrous. I will be proud of my daughter whether she works or stays home with kids, this lady makes it clear that her daughter would be a disappointment if she put career or love for a poor man before marrying money and staying home with kids.

  • Robotic Arms Dealer

    No better strategy to bag a rich dude like announcing to the world what kinda douschebag woman/mother you are

  • Kelly

    Marrying for money is a great way to ensure a miserable life from what I’ve seen.

    I’ve never understood how breeding with someone you don’t like just because they have a nice bank account makes people think of happiness. That sounds like hell to me.

    Christ, just be a hooker. Then you can make your money and GO HOME to a real life at the end of the day. Instead of rolling over and crying into your pillow while your permanent John snores.

    • Itpainsmetosay

      Permanent John that is the best.

  • whiteroses

    As a feminist, this offends me. As the mother of a son, it scares the living crap out of me.

  • Sara610

    I think I actually got a little bit dumber from reading this. This woman…..I just can’t…..who…….*facepalm*

  • Elizabeth

    Wait but hold on can we talk about “To that end, I have already enlisted a well-connected friend to draw up a list of potential husbands from wealthy families to whom I shall introduce Matilda at a later date.” What the fuuuck.

    Also — and I am totally supportive of stay-at-home-moms, or dads, or what have you — I feel like everyone, regardless of what they end up doing, needs to work at some point. Not everyone needs a career, but I think everyone does need a job, at least for some time.

    • Sara610

      Right, because if this is how she goes about her daily life, I’m sure that the “potential husbands from wealthy families” will just be beating down her door.

      It seems like she read a bad how-to manual about how wealthy people operate and is basing her decisions on having watched way too many movies about the 18th-century aristocracy.

    • SarahJesness

      Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. I don’t know much about the super rich so I can’t say much, but… Yeah, especially since she posted this on the internet and all, her intentions are all too clear if nobody noticed before. She wants her daughter to be a gold digger. Will the families of the potential husbands approve of that? Alternately, would they try to run away on account of not wanting to be related to her mother? I sure wouldn’t want to be, ha ha.

    • Lackadaisical

      Or basing her decisions on Kate Middleton’s marriage to William, forgetting the bit where his posh friends looked down on Kate and teased William about Kate’s pushy, social climbing mother and that this may have been a big factor in their brief split, forgetting that during the courtship Kate was popular with the entire country … except for the posh upper crust that the author would love her own daughter to marry into. If she wants her daughter to mix with people who are more likely to make good money after graduating so that she is more likely to marry someone who can support a housewife then the plan stands a good chance of success even though it is rather dismissive of the possibility of her daughter growing up to want a career. Her mention of a list of people to introduce her daughter to makes me think she wants a lot more than that and is going to be disappointed.

  • NotTakenNotAvailable

    I must confess, in light of the fact that my best friend and I are planning to flip the bird to Colorado’s capricious climate and move to SoCal in September, as well as the fact that costs of living are much higher in the big C-A than the not-as-big C-O, plus the bonus fact that we are moving just as much because we want to start our own film production company and recognize that LA is the place to do that as much as the fact that we are sick of scraping ice off our windshields but realize the odds of making money hand over fist are slimmer than that ice’s chance in hell, that I have occasionally looked through LA Craigslist postings and hovered over the ads for sugar daddies seeking “young, fun, model types to support.” But since I’d be using that money to support myself and my dream career, I still think I got a better use out of my private school education than this poor girl’s mother obviously envisions.

    I really hope this girl spends her life as a traveling, couchsurfing crusader for the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement.

  • Kelly

    It’s kind of hilarious that she’s making such specific plans for her daughter. Yeah, because that totally always works. LMAO

    My parents are big supporters in the whole “Girls only go to college to get their MRS. degree” camp. I disappointed them by joining the military instead of just using my looks to bag a man. My sister disappointed them by going to college and actually leaving with a career and NO HUSBAND!!!

    Oh, for shame! Everybody knows that people only raise daughters so that daughter can go out and find them a son so they can have a real child someday. Ugh, yeah, maybe I’m a little bitter about their attitude. Matilda might get bitter about it too. This woman might be permanently damaging her relationship with her daughter with this drivel.

  • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

    “Before the feminists start howling with derision”, she said, before derisively talking about women wasting their talents on careers and telling her female students it was dumb to not want to get married and start popping out kids right off the bat.

  • Elisa Probert

    I’m gonna howl just because she told me not to.

    And nobody’s EVER changed their minds about what they want out of life at age nine…nope, never happened. When I was nine I wanted a horse ranch, even though I’d only seen horses in movies and in passing their pastures on the road. Before that, ballerina, paleontologist, and firefighter.

    Aaaand I ended up cooking in a nursing home/hospital/assisted living facility.

  • SusannahJoy

    At least her way of getting her daughter a rich husband includes a great education, one that will, hopefully, teach her that she can do whatever she wants. I am waaayyyy more ok with this than I am with all the people from my church in high school who were homeschooled and only taught how to be a good wife.

    • SarahJesness

      I was thinking the same thing. Regardless of the mother’s intentions, that girl can do whatever she wants when she’s older, since she’ll have a good education. It’s not like she’s keeping her at home and refusing to teach her basic things beyond housewife stuff.

  • SarahJesness

    Statistically, aren’t most marriages to high school sweethearts pretty short?

    Anyway, women who are miserable trying to juggle family and careers, I think, are usually only miserable because society expects more. The feminist movement is only halfway through on that. It told girls that they could be anything career-wise, but has yet to remove the social pressure that says women need to have kids, and that they still need to do most of the work involving the house and childcare.

    Whatever. Hopefully the girl will end up doing what she wants. She’s young; kids are constantly changing aspirations. When she’s older, it’s not like her mom can force her to be a gold digger. (hey, if you marry for money, that’s what you are)

  • Itpainsmetosay

    I kind of wish my mom was like this. JK sorta… I mean I’m a twenty something with a lack of direction, if mister right showed up on my doorstep and happened to make six figures I wouldn’t say no. Then again the only clear goal I have in life is that I want kids so I’m not the best person to ask if this is ok.

    • Lackadaisical

      Nothing wrong with that, that would be an absolutely reasonable choice to make as an adult. I feel uncomfortable with the thought of a little girl being groomed to do that from birth, with wanting a career of her own looked upon as something disappointing, silly or selfish. I say that as someone who took the stay at home with kids while husband earns enough to support us route. Yes, I did also meet my husband at university as this lady intends for her daughter. However, I married for love and the only person other than myself who had a say on whether I gave up work for child rearing was my husband, I wasn’t following a path laid out by my mother.

    • Itpainsmetosay

      Ya I agree with you its just fun sometimes to imagine that’s how life works. Like if you want to work you can work or if you want to be a SAHM you can be. I hope this girl gets what she wants not what her mother dreams for her.
      P.S. love the name

    • Lackadaisical

      I understand what you mean about choices and life not always giving you the opportunities to follow them. At the moment I am a SAHM whose youngest kid has just started full time school and I would choose to get back to work soon but an 11 year gap on a CV is not helpful. Other mum friends on the playground would love to be able to stay home but can’t afford it as a family. I realise I am very lucky to not need to work for us to pay the mortgage, eat and live comfortably (even if we aren’t living the swanky lifestyle the writer aspires to for her daughter). I don’t regret the choices I made when i quit work and am not bitter or resentful about not being able to follow my choice of returning to work now. However if I had been manipulated or bullied into remaining at home after the kids hit school age by a person rather than circumstance I think I would be a seething mess of resentment, regrets and hate.

      Thanks on the name. It fits me, like the bagpus picture, and that may have more to do with a lack of job than the 11 year CV gap.