• Thu, Feb 13 - 5:30 pm ET

Mommyish Death Match: Would You Donate Your Pubes To A Stranger On Craigslist?

In case you were wondering, everything exists. I am constantly reminded of this when I see strangers requesting random things on the Internet. Today’s thing is a merkin made of human pubic hair. Apparently these exist now. Someone on Craigslist says so and they want one. Do you use Craigslist? Not to be nosy, but do you have pubes? Well, then maybe you can help!

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“I have a way to attach this to fabric and will make this myself.” My best guess is she/he is talking about a glue stick, but I can’t be sure about that. This person is also willing to show you pics of the finished product. We’ve debated what this would look like in the Mommyish offices and Eve came up with this:

fuzzy-heart-merkin

 

While I thought it would be more like this:

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Then for some reason we started talking about dessert, and focused on this:

BdBhXHAIAAAydkV

 

and this:

BZhSEXJIAAEDF4D

Anyway, back to this amazing Craigslist ad which taught me two things; the merkin originated as a pubic wig for prostitutes (who knew?) and high end fashion stores are now making their mannequins with pubic hair (again, who knew?)

So, the question is – would you donate something like this? You’re probably going to throw your “clippings” out anyway, right? I’m going to go with… NO. Sorry whoever you are.

Would you donate your pubes to science, er, I mean Craigslist?

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You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • keelhaulrose

    Ew! Ew! Ewwwwwwwwwww!
    Where’s that “nope” octopus?

  • Robotic Arms Dealer

    Why doesn’t that pervert just go to a waxing joint and get em from there?

  • Bethany Ramos

    That heart pic is just… So hilarious. Omg.

    • Lindsay

      HAIR-larious.

      I’m sorry.

    • jane

      #sorrynotsorry

    • Bethany Ramos

      AHHHHH! Thank you :)

  • Momma425

    Wait, wait wait.
    How much is he willing to donate?
    I don’t have to meet the guy in person, right?
    Sure, if I had enough hair, I’d do it.

  • Kay_Sue

    Okay, I have questions.

    1. Why does the poll not have a, “No, because I don’t want to run the risk that this person is going to find a way to clone me and do unspeakable things to my clone” option?

    2. How does this person know whether the hair came from a man or a woman? Unless, of course, they are testing it to be used in the aforementioned cloning. I don’t think there’s that much of a difference between my husband trying to encourage some Klondike action by shaving and me shaving….that little trap thingy in my shower seconds me on this.

    I would ask why this “mirkin” has a Wikipedia page, but of course, everything has a Wiki.

    • Holly

      Ok, I’m glad to know someone else thinks along the same warped line I do. I wanted to donate my hair (head hair!) to a child with cancer. My mind started wandering and I imagined a scenario where my hair wasn’t a good quality so it got shipped off to some cut-rate extension place. The person who bought my hair committed some awful crime while wearing my hair and my DNA is left at the crime scene.
      (I’m only slightly serious here.)

    • Itpainsmetosay

      Well I think you have to have the root to do that or that’s what csi has lead me to believe. Also I think you would probably have an alibi like I live in a different town/state to back you up for a defense.

    • Kay_Sue

      I’m so glad to know this also, lol. When I posted this earlier, I was like…they are going to think I’m entirely crazy. But nope, once again, Mommyish commenters prove that I am not alone. ;)

    • K.

      HAHAHAHA!

      I thought I was the only one who had screwed up thoughts like:

      “No, because I’m worried that someone will donate my pubes to Locks of Love as a prank and then they’ll figure out who I am through the DNA and I’ll be called out on the Internet as ‘that sick woman who sent in her pubes to cancer patients.’”

      Yeah, that really went through my head.

  • Kelly

    It’s idiotic to just give them to a stranger, hair has value. It’s not like it’s for a cancer kid or something, it’s probably just for someone to get their jollies off.

    This person is just being cheap. Anyone who “donates” to them is a fool.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      I just came down here to comment the same thing! Show me the money, yo!

    • http://lawleramericanadventure.wordpress.com/ Nicole

      Uh huh! I ain’t giving you shit fo’ free

  • Sarah

    If this guy REALLY wants it he’ll need to try harder than that, maybe he could offer some gift cards in exchange for clippings plus send out prepaid envelopes. Cuz no woman wants to endure razor burn for this weird “mirkin” thingy!

  • Lindsay

    There’s no “No, I’ve watched way too much CSI and would worry this person would use my pubes to frame me in a murder” option. What gives?

    • Lackadaisical

      Now there’s an episode I want to see. “The hairs left at the scene were all pubes and from several different women. Are we looking at a nudist murder cult? And why no hairs from anywhere else? Do they all have bald heads?”

  • http://carrie-murphy.com/ Carrie Murphy

    I think I would. I really think I would. LOL.

  • NotTakenNotAvailable

    There have been approximately zero times in my life in which I’ve been tempted to take a sword and hack through the forest protecting Yon Faire (Non)Maiden. But this really inspired me.

    Inspired me to get a chastity belt, that is. Because now I’m afraid of merkin-obsessed creepers busting through my bedroom window with clippers to rob me of my maidenhead’s protective covering.

    • julesgilead

      cannot upvote this one enough, lol

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    So, this is a man who wants to make a mirkin? For reasons such as…?
    Oh, the world is a tangled, strange little place.

  • Elisa Probert

    Eww, eww, ewww! Even if I were into trimming the hedges, I don’t think I’d be comfortable sending the clippings to some stranger!

  • Lackadaisical

    I notice that they are only collecting lady pubes and that makes me suddenly suspicious. I get that the finished product would allegedly be a muff toupee but if that were genuinely the purpose then why would a few geezer pubes matter? I um unconvinced that a texture difference would be sufficient reason because, at the risk of sounding like a slapper, I am not sure the difference is that noticeable and some men do have softer pubes. Also colour doesn’t matter … really? Someone is going to make a wig from several peoples underfur and it doesn’t matter if everyone contributes dramatically different colours? I am unconvinced that their plan is to dye the muff toupee. This has to be a prank or someone with a pubs fetish.

    • andrea

      heh….a phrase I honestly did not ever think I would see: muff toupe.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      “…at the risk of sounding like a slapper, I am not sure the difference is that noticeable and some men do have softer pubes.” You Slaptastical Sea Slut!

  • MERKIN

    MERKINS!

  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    “Donate pubic hair?” NOPE. Now, “sell pubic hair?” yessir

  • tSubh Dearg

    Maybe it’s woman who wants a merkin because she can no longer grow her own pupes, but her current lover really likes them and she wanted to do something nice for them. The reason she doesn’t want men to send her pubes is because that would be creepy & weird!