To The Lady Who Thinks Mommy Bloggers Overshare, Welcome To 2014

10102584Yet another mother with grown kids is giving the rest of us advice about how not to ruin our children, in A Letter To Mommy Bloggers From A Blogger With Grown Kids. Somehow, although she’s a blogger and a mom, Sharon Greenthal manages to escape the label “Mommy Blogger.” Go figure.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for some people to grasp that we’ve entered something called “the Digital Age.” Sharon, you may be unfamiliar with the term, and think that all parents should still use glue sticks, construction paper, polaroids and sharpies to document their children’s lives, but most people are doing that online now.

Mom and dad bloggers aren’t the only ones documenting their kids lives and images this way. Have you ever heard of Facebook? I know you’ve heard of Instagram – because a quick search led to a public account with pictures of your kids on it and everything!

It may be upsetting for you to see images of children “in the midst of a very ugly cry,” but some of us find it hilarious. Some of us like to see that other parents are having just as a hard of a time as we are; it’s comforting. I guess you’d rather us all pretend that raising kids is a piece of cake – and do it with a smile. Well, too bad. As adults, those of us who share the stories you find too personal have used the power of reason to quantify that it’s better to tell our stories and remain sane than to fill our tantrum-throwing child’s sippy cup with vodka and cry in a corner.

You. Yes Mommy, she’ll be seriously pissed off at you. You, who are supposed to be her safe haven and her protector, will have unwittingly exposed her to the world in ways she may not want the world to see her.

Seriously? My 8-month-old already has a fantastic sense of humor, and if these images do one day bother her, she can just add it to the arsenal of things we all resent our parents for. I assure you – your kids have one, too.

They might look at the years and years of posts you’ve written and resent that their childhoods have been co-opted for Google ad clicks and free Pampers.

“Google ad clicks and free Pampers?” Hilarious. I’m pretty sure my children like to be fed, clothed and sheltered – and I along with many, many other writers provide that for them through telling MY stories. Yes, I’m calling them mine, because I didn’t become a shadow of a human when I decided to have kids. All of these things that are happening around me are happening in MY life as well. If you are truly worried about me telling the stories of my life, I assure you – there is no way you could care more about the future and well being of my children than I do. Or more than any of these women you slay for telling their stories online. It’s absurdly condescending to even pretend that you do. I won’t even mention how sexist it is that you don’t include fathers in your little “dressing down.”

I get that you have opinions, but maybe you should stop judging parents who have different levels of comfort with storytelling on the Internet. Maybe you should understand this isn’t just a silly hobby and a lot of people feed their kids this way. Maybe you should get off your high horse for ten minutes and call your own kids – who you have clearly never done anything to disappoint or offend.

(photo: Getty Images)

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You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • Bethany Ramos

    Unsurprisingly, this stone age blog was really irritating to me as well. First, yes, there are people that mommy blog as a profession, ahem. Secondly, there have been times where I have worried about my Google history and what my kids will read when they are older, but…

    I’m hoping that they will know me well enough by then to appreciate my sense of humor and times that I make light of stressful parenting situations. If anything, kids should have respect for parents that are open and honest about what is going on in their life. As you mention, social media parenting issues are another can of worms that affect us all.

  • Kay_Sue

    Anyone that talks about their kids online, whether as a profession, as a blogger, or as a private person, should take a moment to think about how their children will perceive it someday.

    That being said, I know that I do when I Facebook, just…naturally. “What will my kid think?” “What will my friends think?” ” What will my employer think?” “What will my grandmother think?”–these are my personal checkpoints to make sure that what I am sharing is something that I won’t regret sharing later (or something that should only be shared with a particular list). I’m willing to best most of you guys–and most mom bloggers–have their own filters too.

    • Alex

      You summarized well how I feel. I don’t believe that the answer should ever be “I’ll post whatever the hell I want about my kids and my life because it’s my right as a parent and this is part of how I provide for them and fuck you if you speculate that it might embarrass them later”.

      This isn’t like scrap-booking private moments with a film camera and glue sticks and construction paper; in The Digital Age, nothing posted online is ever private for very long.

    • Kay_Sue

      It’s part of acknowledging that my relationship with my child is a relationship for me. I wouldn’t post just anything about one of my friends or my partner, because it could potentially damage our relationship–I feel like it’s only fair to extend that courtesy to my children too, you know? It is a different age, and privacy is ever-evolving right now. That doesn’t mean that it should cease to exist entirely, though.

    • Robotic Arms Dealer

      Oh yea, look at what Jon Goselin’s doing to his children!

  • Julia Sonenshein
  • Mystik Spiral
    • Maria Guido

      This may be the best one yet!

    • Kay_Sue

      So stolen. Added to my personal response meme collection…. :-P

  • Lu

    I would like Eve to weigh in on this, considering her children are old enough to have an opinion.

    • mappster

      I asked my 2 year old what he thought and he said “Elmo.” So there.

  • jen

    Considering employers can type your name into a search engine and find whatever has been put on line of you ever, and I would not want this for my children, which is why I’m sticking with photos and memories staying the way they were when I grew up- private. I watch people post horrifically embarrassing things about their children (I don’t care to know that today was the day you circumsized your son and also don’t want to know how he took it) that will degrade them later in life. Some things are meant to stay private, and undocumented, let alone completely public.

  • Emme

    Facebook celebrating its tenth anniversary reminded me how relatively new the digital age is. I’m probably more private about what I share compared to other people. (I would be just fine not knowing an ex-coworker has had a colonoscopy today and her tubes tied four months ago.) But, I am probably on the losing end of this battle, and it’s not like I have to be public if I don’t want to, just like my personal parenting choices don’t have to influence others. I’m normally not a person to espouse inspirational sayings, but I think this is a case of live and let live. Blog away!

  • Kevin Miskel

    How about you wait until your kids are old enough to have a say before you smear their entire lives over the internet. Keep some things private.