I Will Always Celebrate Valentine’s Day Because I’m Not Dead Inside

valentineYou know the couple I’m talking about—the one that “hates” Valentine’s Day.

This couple doesn’t celebrate stupid special occasions because they don’t want to let The Man, or Hallmark, get them down. This couple (we all have at least one on our Facebook feed) claims that they don’t need a special holiday like Valentine’s Day to show their love because they’re romantic every other day of the week.

To this, I have two responses:

  1. Bullshit.
  2. Simmer down now.

What I’m saying is this. I’ve heard this argument many times before: Why would you put on fancy clothes and wait in line for hours and sit at a fancy restaurant just because a commercialized holiday centered around red hearts and chocolates told you to?

Well, if you’re claiming that you are loving enough to your partner every other day of the week, I call bullshit on that. Valentine’s Day is fun, and it always has been, ever since we were forced to make Valentine’s Day mailboxes in second grade. If you’re in a long-term relationship, I don’t see any harm in putting on an actual dress or tie to go out to a nice dinner. No matter how much you may protest, this is not something you do on a typical Monday night while both of your kids are screaming and fighting bedtime upstairs.

Second, chill out! Yes, Cupid may be an evil terrorist that is forcing you to learn how to love and taking your money at the same time, but Valentine’s Day can actually be fun if you pull the stick out of your ass. And maybe clean that stick off and twine some roses around it and give it to your Valentine as an impromptu gift that will cost you absolutely nothing? Just a thought.

If you have a strong argument as to why it is stupid to celebrate Valentine’s Day because you have enough love in your life, I’ll continue to disagree with you time and again. My husband and I have always celebrated Valentine’s Day because it’s fun and cute and gives us an excuse to get out of the house. I’m not going to turn down a romantical date, even on a barf-worthy holiday, because I have a heart.

(photo: Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
Share This Post:
    • Kheldarson

      Lol! This is great. My hubs and I don’t always get to celebrate V-day on the 14th (yay retail!) but we always try to go out. And this year it’s especially important because we haven’t been on a date since I gave birth almost 6 months ago. Which kinda blows. But grandma’s taking the little one and we’re going for Hibachi, yay!

      • Bethany Ramos

        OMG going out in public after baby is always the most fun, no matter what you do!

    • Kelly

      I get annoyed by people who go on and on about how they hate Valentine’s day. It seems pathetic to me. OK, you hate it, who fucking cares? Why do I have to hear it a thousand damn times.

      I hate Thanksgiving for personal reasons but I don’t spend the entire damn month of November ranting about it.

    • Tea

      I used to be the sort to whine about it, I made excuses, I blew it off and I tried not to give a fuck. I said I wasn’t romantic, and that it was a scam. Honestly, I did it because I was scared, and because I still am.

      I spent a long time living the closeted life, and I still kind of do. I live in a safe area now, but I’m still scared to go out and do something couple-y. If I go out to dinner with my husband, we’re friends, I try to make sure we’re read as friends. It’s hard to go out and be a couple without anxiety, and we’ve been together for nine years. I’m afraid to be affectionate in public, a common issue with guys, but it doubles up when we’re not straight, and I can’t help but think back to living in the mid-west.

      He wants to go on a trip this weekend, maybe to Maine or Vermont, and I’m nervous. I’ll probably dig my heels in on the day itself, and say that we save money and just grab some steaks, eat in, and play minecraft, and I’ll probably bitch about how overblown the holiday is. This is because I’m a wuss who likes to act like a tough guy on the whole issue, because I’m too scared to go out to dinner and get someone a flower.

      • Bethany Ramos

        I love your honesty!!! I will be your platonic Valentine. <3

      • Megan Zander

        This makes me so sad, everyone deserves to have a great date night without worry or fear. So sorry you feel this way. Staying in can be great, but getting out of town and in a new environment maybe would be good too?

      • Tinyfaeri

        I’m so sorry, and *hugs*. I wish I could smack anyone who was mean to you for eating out at a restaurant, because those people suck.

        VT is a pretty “live and let live” kind of place, so it might not be as bad as you think, but you could try a practice romantic trip to a queer friendly town or area – PTown on Cape Cod is the first one to mind for me, but that’s more because it I went there a lot with my family and later friends when I was a kid (go when it’s warmer!), but other cities have their own reps and neighborhoods. There are also a lot of queer travel sites that might help you check out a place before you go so you feel more secure there. But if you haven’t been already, go to PTown someday – it’s touristy and freaky and lovely, and find a place that has fried bread dough because it’s the best.

      • Tea

        I’ll have to check that out. We do a lot of traveling from CT as a central point, but I’m still getting used to the idea that most of new England doesn’t seem to give a fuck what you are so long as you pay all your taxes on time.

      • Tinyfaeri

        That does sound about right. Near-ish to CT is also Philly and NYC, and New Hope, PA is another nice little town. Good luck either way, and I hope you guys have a nice V-Day whatever you do!

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        Come to Toronto! OK I’ve said it twice now so I’m sounding creepy and I’m not saying there aren’t any homophobes here (yeah our fake-mayor is one, but he hardly counts) but it’s a pretty great city for us.

      • Guelettis

        To be fair, I’m pretty sure the other requirement of New England is that you have to be a Patriots fan or risk being shunned.

      • Tea

        Spouse-guy knows as much about football as a trout knows about knitting, so he’s the odd man out in the garage he works at.

      • Guelettis

        …That’s the best metaphor ever. I’m at about that level of sports knowledge as well.

      • Pickwick_Next

        Not being a Pats fan isn’t nearly as shun-worthy in New England as actively being a Yankees fan, though…

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        This sucks man. I hear you on being scared. I’m lucky to live in one of most queer-friendly cities in North America (in fact, I would highly suggest you consider visiting here – Toronto – if you are looking for future vacation ideas!) but my wife and I do have to take stuff like this into account whenever we leave our little bubble, like if we go to visit family in the ‘burbs or take a trip out to the country or whatever, so I hear you. I hate having to worry about making one little slip in judgment and having something really horrible happen.

      • Tea

        That would be an awesome weekend excursion as soon as I get out of passport limbo!

      • Bunny Lucia

        Tea, I swear I will pay for your move to Portland or San Francisco. Just say the word my cute little albino friend.

        Seriously, Portland is known as the city where the only under age night club that did NOT get shot up was the gay one.

        I have felt that fear that you’ve felt, I briefly got kicked out of my house after coming out to my mother at the age of 15, I seriously “Forced” myself to be straight for years. It’s not worth it, feeling unsafe is never worth it.

        Are there any “Gay” clubs or places of the sort where you live where it would be a safe place for you and your husband to go?

      • Tea

        I’m thankfully in a much safer area than I used to be (The midwest), but I still have a lot of old habits trained in. Even though we’re in a much safer area, it’s still pretty rural without many options.

        After consulting the comments section, we’re considering a train ride to NYC for the evening :)

      • Ddaisy

        That’s awesome! I’ve always wanted to go to New York and Valentine’s Day there sounds a dream come true :) Good for you guys and I hope you have a wonderful time!!!

      • Rachel Sea

        Go to a gay-positive city. It’s easier for my wife and I in a lot of ways, because random heterosexists are more likely to want to grope us than punch us, but two dudes can make-out in public without incident in Providence, or San Francisco, or NYC. There are heaps of websites dedicated to gay-friendly travel…and vacations are a delightful way to shop new places to live if you’re interested. You should be able to be a couple in public, without fear.

      • Tea

        I think I’ll talk to him about hitting NYC, it’s a short drive then train ride. The area we’re in isn’t bad by any means, I just still have a few hang-ups, and even for CT, it’s a kind of rural area. (As Rural as CT gets, we escaped from the Indiana-Ohio border a few years ago)

      • Kay_Sue

        This actually made me tear up a little. I really hope that we are fast approaching a day when two people who love each other can be affectionate and enjoy their relationship with no fear no matter who or where they are. I really hope that you can take this trip to NYC you mentioned in an earlier comment and enjoy it. (hug)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I love you Tea, this made me cry too . I want a world where you never ever have to be ashamed for caring and loving and finding your true one, regardless of what sex they are.

      • Tea

        <3

        (And I didn't mean to make anyone cry D: )

      • Kay_Sue

        So not your fault. It’s all the assholes out there. Put the blame where it’s due, man.

      • Paul White

        Dude, go to Maine and own your relationship :) It’s 2014. Not 1950.

    • Tinyfaeri

      I’ve never been that big a fan of Valentine’s Day, especially the push to get expensive presents for it, BUT… That ain’t stopping me from wearing a LBD out to dinner with my hubby, and there might even be a box of candy in store for him. And my little one will be getting both her grandmothers flowers, possibly with a balloon.

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      I used to be like that but I think because my old boyfriend and I were so incompatible and we were bored with each other that V-Day just turned into a day to wait in a ridiculously long line for Fridays or Applebees (we were young and he was boring) to eat a meal we could eat any other day that really wasn’t that good to begin with.

    • Megan Zander

      We used to do it up for heart day, but I spent last V day in the peds hospital with two 3 week old preemies, both with RSV. Hubs asked me yesterday what I wanted to do for V day this year. I told him literally anything that didn’t involve the hospital would get him a gold star. So maybe Wendy’s ? We can go crazy, order Frostys.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Two straws!

    • Alove12222

      I don’t celebrate valentines day or anniversaries. But I also don’t talk about it on facebook or bug my friends for celebrating. I just don’t think it is necessary plus we go away at least a couple times a week, so we usually save our pennies and do all our romantic stuff on vacation!

      • Alove12222

        ** couple times a year—I wish I vacationed once a week haha

      • Bethany Ramos

        Me too! Lol

      • brebay

        I’m glad you clarified, so I didn’t have to use the energy it would have taken to hate your globe-trotting guts :)

      • Jell

        We don’t do valentines or anniversaries either, though it’s mostly because I don’t remember and my partner doesn’t care one way or the other. I agree that giving other people a hard time for making it special is lame. After all, I wouldn’t them nagging me for not putting in the effort. When I was single I enjoyed going with friends to dinner on valentines day because they had all the special menus. It’s nice to celebrate things.

    • K

      I also get annoyed at people who have go on about how much they hate Valentine’s Day. I always liked it, even if I was single. I liked making cards for my classmates when I was little. I still make home made valentine cards for my boyfriend every year and he loves it.

      • brebay

        I was always fond of it too, even single. It’s the only day it’s acceptable to wear pink and red together, and you can’t swing a cat without hitting candy. Win.

    • Emma Katherine

      Honestly, I never really liked Valentine’s day, even when I was a kid and we had to hand out cheap store-bought cards to everyone. I’m still probably not going to celebrate it this year (mainly because House of Cards comes out that day), but I’m not going to begrudge other people who want to celebrate; if you want to celebrate more power to you! My lack of desire/interest in V-day doesnt make me dead inside, like the title indicates…

      • jane

        Wait, binge watching House of Cards doesn’t count as a Valentines Day celebration? Shit.

      • whiteroses

        It TOTALLY does. If OITNB was coming out on Valentine’s Day, restaurants across the country would be empty.

      • Shea

        Me too. Something about it has always made me vaguely uncomfortable and I’m not entirely sure why. And anyway, BF and my anniversary is in early February, so Valentine’s Day feels kind of…redundant, I guess? I’m not against the holiday as a general thing though (especially as it means half-price chocolates on the 15th!) but it’s not really my thing. Although I do usually make treats for the office, but that’s because I like any opportunity to bake stuff and it makes my colleagues very happy.

    • Angela

      I don’t like Valentines Day. For people who have just had a break up (or just plain lonely) the holiday’s like a slap in the face and I hate crowded restaurants. For me it’s literally the least pleasant day of the year to go out. Honestly I’d rather spend the holiday with my kids making heart-shaped cookies and valentines for their friends. My husband and I will wait and celebrate our relationship on our anniversary or days that are meaningful to us. That said, if you like fighting the crowds and want to go celebrate with everyone else then have at it. I’ve got way better things to do than getting worked up about other people enjoying a romantic dinner together.

      • Bunny Lucia

        I don’t know, making heart-shaped cookies with your children is still considered celebrating in my opinion.

        Going out to restaurants on a Friday night in general sucks, Friday night PLUS valentines day sounds like straight up hell.

      • Angela

        True enough. I just get a lot more into the little kid part of the holiday more than the romantic side. I’m all for romantic evenings, but I’d just rather it be on any other night.

      • Pickwick_Next

        I kinda miss the days of getting cute, cheesy little paper valentines with cheap candy attached… Sigh. The kid side of V-day is the best part.

        I’m neither against nor pro Valentine’s Day, I suppose. When I manage to think about it in advance, it can be fun to make a special dinner or go somewhere fantastic (only with reservations, so we don’t have to wait hours), but if I don’t think about it in advance, I don’t feel like I’ve missed out. This year, I feel like death warmed over, my husband and I are both tired from snow clean up, and I didn’t manage to plan anything in advance, so I think V-day celebration this year will consist of pizza and wine. But then, I’m a definite introvert, so that doesn’t sound too bad anyway… :)

      • brebay

        Whaaa? Kids totally count as a Valentine! Cookie on, Mama!

    • Lackadaisical

      My reasons for not bothering with valentines are personal. It is only a couple of days after my birthday so all babysitting privileges go on that and I am too impatient to want my husband to hold back part of my present a couple of days. Also I am boring and lazy. We get each other a card and that is it.

    • Rachel Sea

      I’m not a VD fan, because I’m not a romantic person, and I don’t like being put on the spot for something I suck at. My wife unfortunately is a fan, so every year I feel like I have to come up with something, in spite of the commercialization which makes a night out on 2/14 more expensive, crowded, and complicated than any other night of the year.

      • jane

        I snorted at not being a VD fan, because apparently I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t think “Valentine’s Day” but does think “venereal disease.” Yeah, I’m with you (I’m not a fan of either, thanks).

      • Rachel Sea

        I started calling it VD when that was still the common moniker of STIs. Did I mention I’m not a fan? I’m really, really not.

    • Guelettis

      I’m one of the bitter souls, but I keep it to myself. I’m in a relationship where my husband LOVES this kind of stuff, so I usually end up getting him flowers and chocolates. His birthday is right after Valentine’s though, and I tend to do more for that.

      One year, he ate the contents of one of those chocolate heart boxes, replaced it with candy I actually like (Sorry people, I’m one of the .0001% of ladies who hate chocolate), and rewrapped it so it looked untouched. When I received it as a gift, it was almost enough to melt my frozen heart.

    • Larkin

      We’re in the “I don’t want to make a reservation a month in advance for a $150 prix fixe meal” crowd, but we still always do something fun to celebrate. We’ve sort of turned it into “find a delicious hole-in-the-wall” night. We search out somewhere that’s supposed to be delicious, but super divey, to get dinner for the holiday. It’s a ton of fun, tasty, and never crowded because everyone else is at the fancy places. ;-) Last year we got $1 fish tacos. This year, I think we’re going to a pub with awesome hot wings. I’m stoked.

      • Bethany Ramos

        That is a very cute idea!

    • Kay_Sue

      I don’t care if people don’t want to celebrate it. It’s a choice. I just hate when they make it into a superiority issue. “Oh, well, it’s a commercial holiday, and we show each other how much we love each other every day, so why do we need a special day” is also a way of saying, “You obviously don’t understand commercialism. Oh, and your relationship is inferior to ours because you need a special day to celebrate it.” That’s the bullshit to me. Do what you want in your relationship; don’t judge mine.

      We usually do go out for V-day. It’s fun, because there are different activities offered from other times of the year. For instance, the zoo we are members of does a Love on the Wild Side evening. You get dinner for two, drinks, and a tour of the zoo after hours (did you know that koala reproductive systems are equipped with two of everything? Males have two penises, and females have two vaginas and two ovary set ups, with everything else too. These are the kinds of things you can learn when you participate in Valentine’s Day, people!). It was a lot of fun, and not something offered any other time of the year.

      Last year, we tried a new restaurant that we normally wouldn’t go to. It was far dressier, and usually (to be honest) far too expensive. But for Valentine’s Day, they offered a special, and it was a blast! We’ve been back since because the food was amazing…and we never would have tried it if it weren’t for that special.

      And YES, we still do fun things other days. We spend time together in the evenings, we do fun stuff with the kids, we take date nights throughout the year. We have a very romantic relationship (in my oh so not humble opinion :-P). It’s one of those “live and let live” subjects, in my opinion.

      • Kay_Sue

        I should probably have clarified too–our variety of romance is sometimes a little weird. For a “present” for Valentine’s Day, I told him I want to be able to take a shit in my master bathroom. It’s been clogged by a Fisher Price Little People figurine…

        So that kind of plays into the “live and let live” mentality too….. :-P

      • Bethany Ramos

        We do V Day gift “tokens” that aren’t super serious – I got an awesome rice cooker this year, yippee! I would also take an unclogged toilet. ;)

      • Kay_Sue

        Rice cookers are the bomb-diggity. I got my mother one for her birthday just like the one my BIL got us for Christmas year before last….because I’m a loving person like that, and also because you can’t truly appreciate how awesome it is until you have tried it for yourself.

      • Jessica

        Ha! I asked for a plumber for valentines day too! Our house has a large jetted tub with temperature control problems & hasn’t worked consistently in a few months :(

      • Kay_Sue

        We’re going on a few months too. I have no idea how the booger slipped in there and got it down the toilet, but he ‘fessed up when we were talking about what might be causing the backup.

        Me: I wonder what’s clogging the toilet so bad.
        Husband: I have no idea, but the snake won’t get it out.
        Littlest One: It’s a Little People.
        Me: What?!
        Littlest One: One of the airplane ones. With the circle hat.

        WTF?! *pulls hair out*

      • Kat

        Yeah, but usually when I tell someone I don’t celebrate it because it’s a commercial holiday, it’s because they asked. I’m definitely not trying to be an asshole, I’m just answering a question honestly. I agree: Do what you want in your relationship. Don’t judge mine.

      • Kay_Sue

        Then this wasn’t directed at you. There are plenty of people that don’t have the same attitude though, and those are the folks that are frustrating…like anyone that starts a pissing contest of any type, I reckon.

      • Kat

        I don’t know, that rings a drunken bell somewhere, maybe related to my 21st birthday…

      • Kay_Sue

        That would sound about right if it was the type of 21st birthday I’ve encountered. ;)

    • Robotic Arms Dealer

      You know you can do Valentine’s on the cheap

      1. Print your own card (less than a $1 on glossy paper and ink)
      2. Find places with nice flowers for cheap and rearrange it yourself to look less cookie cutter (super markets keep their prices low)
      3. Order takeout at Cheesecake Factory, re-plate it at home, and buy a nice $35 bottle of real Champagne (Moet or Pommery at Bevmo)
      4. Victoria’s Secret’s clearance rack

      • Bethany Ramos

        I want all of this!

      • Robotic Arms Dealer

        Pic of you in #4 please

      • Megan Zander

        I had no idea Cheesecake Factory did to go orders. I am so doing this for Friday, it’s so nice to able to eat without worrying about the kids making noise. Thanks for the tip!

      • Guest

        This is why I love my husband. He finds gifts I actually want and then goes online (ebay) and gets them for much cheaper. That smart, smart man.

    • whiteroses

      We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because my husband’s birthday is the day before (I swear my MIL and FIL planned this shit) and I’m lazy. We give each other cards, he sends me flowers, but mostly the day we mark is his birthday.

    • Alicia Kiner

      I love the idea of Valentine’s day but my hubby always ends up working. We haven’t actually done anything on Valentine’s in 11 years. We usually do something simple Nd sweet at home, but never on the actual day.

    • Paul White

      I hate Valentines but go for it if it’s your thing.
      I also don’t post snarky stuff on FB about it cause that’s just tacky. It’s like when my friends that don’t like football post overused memes about how unimportant football really is and what a waste of energy it is…annoying as hell.

    • Sam Inoue

      I always felt like Valentine’s day was like amateur night at restaurants in America. I liked staying home, more intimate and romantic. This might just be me since I am very anxious in crowded places. Here in Japan women traditionally give a gift to their spouse or boyfriend, than in a month we have White day when men return the favor and this is normally when we actually go out.

      • ElleJai

        I watch anime and I LOVED the whole concept of White Day. It’s almost worth moving to Japan just for that I think.

      • Sam Inoue

        Lol, its really great cause I think it takes a lot of the pressure off Valentine’s Day by making it into two days. We do get a babysitter and stuff on Valentine’s day and I make dinner. Most people make chocolates which me and my girls are doing this week, we also never did that in America. White Day is my favorite as well, it means I get a present and taken out (cause he doesn’t like cooking) knowing I already did my day :)
        One of the many things I love about Japan/

    • Melissa

      It’s ironic that when I was single all I wanted was a Valentine’s date and to be 1/2 of one of those schmoopie couples going out to a romantic dinner, and now that I’m married I’m totally “meh” about Valentine’s Day. The crowds at the restaurants make me claustrophobic and cranky, so we usually end up picking a day near Valentine’s to go out and prove/celebrate our undying love and commitment.

      But you know what’s even more insufferable than those of us who publicly declare how little we care about V-day? Those who use their facebook status to unsubtly brag about the roses/candy/dinner their #besthusbandever showered upon them (so #blessed!). And then the husband “likes” the status and they go on to have not-private-but-should-be back and forth in the comments about how much they love each other while everyone reading collectively vomits.

      • Bethany Ramos

        OMG yes – I would agree 100% with the #blessed couples that love V Day too much.

    • Ddaisy

      Valentine’s Day is my FAVOURITE holiday ever. Except maybe Canada Day, but if Valentine’s Day was in July too, it would be the clear winner.

      I love wearing pink and heart earrings, and making cards for people, and eating cinnamon hearts, and buying myself flowers, and I think the whole shebang is a ton of fun. Of course I try to show people I care about them every day, but I am all for a special day when I get to be a little bit over the top about it.

      PS I love all of you guys. You should know that :)

      • Bethany Ramos

        I love you too! That is so, so cute.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      I don’t hate Valentine’s Day with the same visceral stomach-churning that I feel for, say, Tom Brady (sorry, whoever mentioned the Pats upthread! This aside might also be a good place to mention that I can’t possibly embrace love this year, because Peyton Manning broke my heart), but I’ve always thought it was stupid, even when I was in a relationship. I mean, c’mon, you’ve taken a holiday that originated with Lupercalia, a day-long orgy to celebrate fertility, and took its current name from St. Valentine, a man who died violently because he fervently believed all faithful Christian couples should be able to marry, and you come up with…Hallmark? Sorry, but I liked the original(s) way better!

      I also think the symbolism seems strange. You’re expected to give your partner flowers. Living things that have been forcibly removed from their host and that will die in a few days, whether you remember to water them or not. That’s seriously supposed to signify your undying love?!? (Doesn’t help that I’m allergic.)

      And sure, I can get behind getting dressed up and going out to a fancy restaurant where I can pretend to be a millionaire for a couple hours, but I prefer to wait half a month for Denver’s 5280 Week. Ridiculously good 3- to 5-course meals at the finest establishments in town for a grand total of $52.80 for two people–way less than the prix fixe options you’re going to see on V-Day! Plus, since it’s spread out over two weeks, I don’t run as much risk of feeling claustrophobic. As an added bonus for Solidly Single Sally here, I can take my best friend as my “date” without people asking how long we’ve been together!

      I think it boils down to the fact that I don’t have a romantic bone in my body. I value logic, practicality, and efficiency, and Valentine’s Day has none of those qualities on tap as far as I’m concerned. I’m just waiting for the Vulcans to make first contact so I can finally join my people.

      • ElleJai

        I liked this comment for the last sentence alone :)

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        Why, thank you! Vulcans make everything better!

    • angelina ♥

      We’ve gotten each other gifts every year since we’ve been together. Hell, now that I think of it, we gave each other candy for Valentine’s day at least One year before that. The first year of coupledom, nice gifts were given–a watch for him and diamond earrings for me–and since then, it’s been justjust dinner out and token flowers, champagne and the like. Neither of us is really Into V-day with an unusual degree of expectations or crazy enthusiasm, I think we’d just feel like schmucks if we failed to acknowledge the occasion. Not because we Have to, but just because it’s nice. This year I got him a heart shaped box of See’s chocolates, but I’m not above admitting I’m probably going to eat a good amount of them coz I’m 7.5 months pregnant and have been craving See’s Candy since autumn.

    • Toaster

      Any excuse to make red velvet cupcakes.

    • Muggle

      This is going to be my second Valentine’s Day in a row that I’ll miss out on because my fiance has to work.

      I just wrote and erased a long-ass rant about both the smug “we show our love every day” types and the “single’s awareness” types, because I’ve already been dreading Valentine’s Day loneliness for days and I’m 2 months away from being married. There are days I barely see him, so I can’t show him my love every day because HE’S NOT FUCKING THERE. Needless to say I have absolutely no patience or sympathy for either one.

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        I feel ya on the irritation caused by both groups. Given that I’m single by choice, though, it’s the “singles awareness, a.k.a. making sure everyone’s aware that I’m single and miserable about it” that I really want to smack some sense into. If you hate being single that much, sign up for OKCupid, take your friends and family up on their offers to set you up with that coworker of theirs, or go to a Meetup event specifically catering to singles. Otherwise, do what I do and revel in the fact that you’re under no pressure to perform on February 14th and can enjoy a guilt-free Netflix binge!

      • Muggle

        I just do not understand the “single and miserable” types. I get that not everyone wants to be lonely but there really are ways of fixing that! Don’t hijack someone else’s holiday. It’s like all those STFU Parents-worthy moms who hijack Father’s Day to bitch about their children’s “deadbeat” fathers. I can see how it can be awkward for those who have had recent break-ups. But ffs, let us coupled folk enjoy our day.

      • Guest

        Amen. Being single on Valentine’s I always thought was fine. Excuse to order in dinner and drink some wine. I always feel bad for the people who have a significant other who HAS the option of seeing them/doing something nice for Valentine’s (and knows it would mean the world to her) but doesn’t because he is lazy. That is just embarassing.

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        That’s a great analogy! Since Valentine’s Day always puzzled me even when I was coupled, I tend to leave it alone. This year, the big event for me on February 14th is that Denver’s very first Trader Joe’s is finally opening its doors! Can’t wait!

    • AlbinoWino

      I fall under the category of not really caring for the holiday. I liked it as a kid because we all got candy and I really enjoyed making Valentines for everyone in my class. I was single for a long time but honestly not too bothered about it. In college we’d always go see the Vagina Monlogues which I felt was way better than some stale date. Now that I have a significant other I still can’t get totally behind the holiday. I’d rather go out on a night where it’s not massively overcrowded. And I won’t take anyone seriously who give me side eye for not receiving flowers from my significant other. Yes, I admit, I find it all a bit nauseating, but also funny if you go to grocery store in the evening to see all the men frantically buying roses. I got my fiance a funny card and I think that should about do it. When I asked what he wanted to do for Valentine’s Day this year he replied: “I’ll make you dinner and go down on you later.” My kind of man.

    • emilyg25

      I’ll take any excuse to celebrate. My favorite Valentine’s was my last one as a single lady. I made lobster pot pie for one and drank a bottle of wine. It was fabulous!

    • Guest

      This is why I’m so happy I married my husband instead of my douchey ex boyfriends. He is as onboard with holiday celebration as I am. I get flowers and chocolate covered strawberries sent to my office or he visits in person with a gift. My exes were all Valentine’s Day is stupid blah blah blah. Lazy. If it makes your significant other happy and it is as easy as getting them a card or something: do it.

    • Leah

      You’re incorrect. Valentines Day isn’t fun (to some people)…but since you think it is, everyone else must also. Now that’s the real bullshit.
      Personal opinions and preferences. You can also disagree that someone dislikes cake if they don’t give you a satisfying explanation as to why their pallet doesn’t prefer sugar. Doesn’t change the fact that they don’t like cake.