TGI Friday Open Thread: Tell Us All Your Creepy And Bratty Kid Stories

Bratz-LogoI don’t think my kids are brats, but I’m sure every mother feels this way. My kids, growing up, weren’t really prone to tantrums or big grocery store scenes or freaking out when I told them no. They have always been sort of laid back about things. But boy oh boy throughout my life have I encountered some kids who could be described as being bratty (or worse, but because I’m a nice person I won’t describe them as being raging little fuckers, but you can be assured I am thinking that.) I’m not talking about kids who are just overtired or cranky or hungry, I’m talking about awful monster children.

The other day, our lovely (and hilarious) reader Kay Sue shared a horror story with us in the comments about what she witnessed a kid do, and this coupled with Julia‘s feature today has me thinking about bratty kids and other creepy kids and the worst things you have seen kids do.

Growing up, I saw some kids throw firecrackers at some birds.

I also had some creepy little boy put gum in my hair.

As an adult, I have had strange kids kick me, and some kids I know (cough) tell me they hate me because I wouldn’t buy them something or because I asked them to put on a coat. I have seen one of my own kids punched in the FACE because they didn’t share a toy fast enough.

Now it’s your turn. Tell us all about the brattiest and creepiest kids you have ever known.

As usual, if you don’t have a story to share tell us about your weekend plans and what you will be doing. Are you helping address a ton of tiny little Valentines for your kids to hand out in class. Going to see The Lego Movie? Doing laundry? If so, I am with you. But in the meantime, before all that fun happens, I get a cocktail and get to hear your brat stories.

(Image: tumblr)

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    • Megan Zander

      Mine are too little to do anything other than kick their little legs when I won’t give them something, but my cousins kid, pretty sure he’s the next Dexter. He’ll swing a leather belt over his infant sisters head bc he wants to ” lasso” and hits her in the face, asks to see your watch “so I can break it” and most recently, shoves smaller kids over bc ” they are in my air”. He’s been kicked out of three preschools. His parents find it hilarious and say he’s a tough guy in the making. It’s awful, but I try to time out gathering so I’m not there at the same time bc if my kid gets hurt, it would be on like Donkey Kong. As for the weekend, I just got a new steam mop to play with. 16 year old me is disgusted, but 30 year old me is pumped.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I care deeply about this, what kind did ya get?

      • Megan Zander

        I went with the dirt devil bc I’ve used one before, but I’m second guessing and thinking maybe it should have been the bissell. I just bought a new vacuum that I’m totally having an affair with though, so I’m hoping between the two I’ll have floors clean enough to eat off of…since that’s all the kids seem to want to do.

      • MerlePerle

        My mom always told me you could eat off of her floors when we were younger. An apple over there, some bread crumbs under the couch…that’s what the expression means, right?

      • Guest

        That tough guy is going to scare the piss out of them when he is as large as they are and decides his issue is with them.

      • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

        It’s maybe my least favorite thing ever when parents are all, “Awww, look at our little sociopath!! Hope he doesn’t murder anyone someday, or at least that he doesn’t get caught! <333"

      • pineapplegrasss

        This is the mom that deep cleans the car trunk for him??

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        Yeah cute and psychotic til he tries skinning kittens and wearing them

      • Bethany Ramos

        I do remember a little boy that I played with as a kid always pulling out butcher knives… Now that thought is really disturbing.

      • pineapplegrasss

        Oh lol! One time my two older sisters were fighting and one locked herself in the bathroom and the other got a big ol knife and was shoving it under the door, sliding it back and forth.

    • pixie

      Oh jeez, where do I begin.

      Well I’ve told the story about the kid who grabbed my boobs. When I was a tween I had a boy four years younger than me (but tall for his age so he was nearly my height) punch me in the face because he had a crush on me. In kindergarten I had a friend who just discovered a part of his anatomy and came to school said “look at this!” and pulled down his pants. I knew a kid from ages 8-12 would cry and insist he was hurt every time he lost a game we played in martial arts that consisted of people pushing each other out of a specified area (we weren’t allowed to stand and had to stay on our knees and could only use our hands to push/pull them out) just because he lost. We knew he wasn’t hurt because if there was a second round he’d stop crying and jump back in, and then cry and fake an injury again if he lost; our instructors kept an eye on him when he was in the “ring” to see if he was lying or actually got hurt but the rest of us were actually really careful around him because he was very small for his age and we weren’t assholes. This same kid had the definition of “little man syndrome” and would go full force when he sparred with other people, which really wasn’t that hard at first, but he would jump and try to punch me in the head and fail so I got a few knocks to the face (and when I told him to stop and lighten up, he insisted he wasn’t going very hard). There was a kid who peed on the mat.

      I know there’s a lot more I could tell, but that’s all I can think of at the moment.

      This weekend I’m staying in and working on research I have to do as a research assistant and things for my thesis (currently working on the proposal) so I have less to do over study break, which is in 2 weeks. I’m going home to visit my parents and boyfriend next friday for 10 days for the break which is sweet. While I do my work this weekend I’ll probably have the Olympics going on in the background. And possibly drinking wine or some other alcohol.

      • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

        Haha, the martial arts kid, oh man. I was substitute teaching a fifth-grade gym class once and they were playing dodgeball (with the soft squishy balls) when I noticed one little boy was off on the side crying. “What’s the matter, are you hurt?” “No!” “Then what’s up, buddy?” “MY TEAM’S LOSING!” “Well, that happens sometimes. Don’t you want to play?” “No! Well – will you make the OTHER team lose?” Um … no.

      • Guest

        Sportsmanship at it’s finest.

      • pixie

        Yeah, he was so bad for that. The couple times he went into competitions he pulled the SAME shit. My club is really, really careful about safety and contact rules when it comes to competitions because it is a high-risk activity. I think my head instructor had to suggest to the parents that competitions weren’t the kid’s thing. lol

      • Guest

        It would take a lot to provoke me to hit a kid…but if he/she/anyone grabbed my boobs that is an automatic punch to the face. I didn’t get to hear the boob grab story :-(

      • pixie

        It was a three or four year old at a pool party for martial arts day camp (why do most of my stories come from martial arts? *sigh*). Some girl’s younger brother (the mom was one of the drivers to where the pool party was so she and the little brother were obviously allowed to join in). I was 13 or 14 and already well endowed and kind of self-conscious. The little boy came over and exclaimed “you have big boobies!” and grabbed my boobs. If the kid had been older and not a toddler/significantly younger than me, I might’ve smacked them out of surprise. The mother was even more mortified than I was and apologized profusely.

        lol that’s the boob-grab story. :P

      • Guest

        Well at least the mom was horrified…or I would have lost it. 3-4 I think I still would have knocked him on his ass out of sheer surprise.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        When I was 9 there was this little brat in my class. This kid was beyond disturbed, he’d break out of school to try herd sheep towards the main road. He pushed a toddler in front of a car. He gave a teacher a concussion by hitting her with a tree branch.
        He got expelled after he brought matches to school and tried to set a girls ponytail on fire.

        Parents worshipped the shit that fell out of him, so of course, the teachers were “over-reacting” and he was “energetic and misunderstood”
        Never found out what happened to him

      • pixie

        Oh jeez, that kid was a wee bit disturbed to say the least.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        I know it’s awful but as a kid I despised him and it’s only now I feel really awful.
        I never picked on him or anything (I always had my nose in a book at lunch) but I do feel badly for thinking bad of him. He was just a kid and now I’m an adult (I won’t say more mature cos that’s gone out the window) I do feel bad

    • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

      My kids don’t do anything but eat, cry, and poop yet, but this is my favorite secondhand horrifying story (neither bratty nor creepy, but in theme with Kay Sue’s story anyhow]:

      Friend’s recently-potty-trained daughter: “Mommy, sometimes I look at my poop. do you ever look at your poop?”
      Friend: “Well, uh, sure honey, sometimes it’s good to, you know, look at your poop to make sure it’s healthy and that you’re eating the right stuff.”
      Friend’s daughter: “Okay.” [pause] “Do you ever … touch it?”
      Friend: ” … No. No, honey, poop is dirty and we shouldn’t touch poop. Have you been touching your poop?”
      Friend’s daughter: [shifty eyes] “… No?”

      brb lysolling everything in the world

    • Robotic Arms Dealer

      OOOH, Kay, you got mentioned!!!!!!!

    • SA

      We had just moved into a new house and had accidently left the back door unlocked during all the moving. Woke up to the neighbors’ 3 year old staring at us from the foot of our bed.

      • SA

        As far as the weekend goes, hitting up a brewery with the family tonight and date night tomorrow night…win win

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        that would scare me to death

      • Rowan

        Holy crap! Bad enough when your own kid does that but a strange kid? Plastic sheeting time.

      • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

        On the bright side that’s a hell of a motivator never to leave the door unlocked again!

      • EX

        I seriously would never be able to sleep again.

      • Williwaw

        I hope the next scene wasn’t from Dawn of the Dead.

    • candyvines

      Is the Lego movie full of smut? If so that might be on the agenda. Just got my full body pillow in the mail and looking forward to snuggling with it all weekend.

    • SA

      Oh and one that is going to make my kid the creepy kid….my husband encourages her to use her fork by saying “stab, stab, stab” and showing her how. She now mumbles “stabby, stabby, stabby”.

      • Lee

        Haha! My son used to do that too.

    • Hibbie

      My daughter told me yesterday that my butt is like a choo-choo train. I thought that was pretty rude (and funny).

    • ShanLea

      Hoo boy…I could go for hours discussing bratty/creepy kids! I think the worst for me was: When my older boy was about 2 1/2, I had him in an in-home daycare that was highly recommended, because the provider was a former pediatric nurse. In addition to my son, she also watched twin 6 month old babies, and her own 5 year old daughter was there in the afternoons after kindergarten. Usually, when I came to pick my son up the older girl was napping, but I got off work early one day so I was there before her naptime. As I was talking to the provider about how to best cure my son’s bronchitis, the little girl walked up to one of the twins, slapped him across the face, and said “shut the f up you little brat!” Needless to say, the mother acted like it didn’t happen, and my son never went back to that daycare again!!

      • ShanLea

        Oh, and my weekend plans…the 12 year old’s best friend is spending the weekend with us, so my plan is to spend a lot of time standing at the top of the stairs with wine glass in hand yelling “SHUT UP! If you wake up your little brother, you’re both sleeping outside in the snow!!”

      • Guest

        :-O

      • personal

        She pretended it hadn’t happened?! That shocks me more than anything.

      • ShanLea

        Right? I was shocked speechless, but finally stuttered something, then she offered up a token “don’t hit the babies, sweetie”. I did pull my son out of her care immediately, and reported her to the referral agency, but to this day, 10 years later, I’m very leery of leaving my children with ANYONE besides their grandparents or close family!

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      My wife’s band’s singer and her wife (that sounds more confusing than it actually is) just moved into our neighbourhood, and they have a kid the same age as our kid, so we’ve started taking turns having free childcare! So tonight it’s our turn to go out so we’ll be either going to see some music or just having martinis or something. Either way, it’s out of the house after dark together so I’m happy.

    • LiteBrite

      Creepy kid story: When I was 10, a friend’s slightly older brother would eat bugs. I mean, real, live, squirmy bugs. He would then open his mouth and show them to us. I’ll never forgot what a large black ant and Cheetos look like in someone’s mouth.

      And speaking of creepy-as-fuck things kids say, last night my son asked me when I’ll be dead. Nice! Little does he know I plan on living forever just so I can tell him to get his hands out of his pants.

      Note: My kid wasn’t asking the dead question in a bratty way; it was more a general way. Still, where the hell do kids come up with creepy questions like that?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        hahhaa lord creepy bug eater kid? terrifying. Your kid? Just wants to know when he’ll inherit your wealth

      • LiteBrite

        Inherit my “wealth?” Yeah, good luck with that my son.

      • tSubh Dearg

        Funny story! When my sister was about 9 she said she wanted to be a millionaire. My dad said she better work hard if that’s what she wanted and she replied “I don’t want to earn it, I want to inherit it, so you better get working Daddy!”

        It was so funny!

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        LOL!!
        I had a boy misbehave so badly when I was babysitting overnight.
        He ran out into the snow in the middle of the night in his jammies.
        I was FRANTIC looking for him.
        Was JUST calling his mom when this hand snaked down my neck and this voice said – Looking for ME?!”

        Nearly soiled myself.
        Brat

      • Jessie

        HOLY HADES that would have had me Judo-tossing his ass into a wall whilst screaming bloody murder. What a creepy ass kid.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        that child I maintain, gave me my stress-related hernia at age 21!
        He got given out to once for trying to light the cooker (!) and when his parents came home he tried to tell them I hit him!!

      • Jessie

        What… I don’t even… There must be something about a child’s growth that makes them into such creepers. Unless it was just bad parenting, but I’ve seen some otherwise very sweet children have mini-psychopath moments.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        I wouldn’t mind only his twin sister was the opposite, a total sweetheart, very cuddly and affectionate. Chalk and cheese lol I’ve never seen such twins be so completely opposite.

      • Williwaw

        A kid in my high school biology class ate a small piece of the cow’s eyeball he was dissecting. It wouldn’t have bothered me, except the eyeball had been soaked in formaldehyde. (As far as I know, he didn’t suffer any ill effects.)

        My own kid will eat pretty much anything he finds on the floor…but he is only two.

        I’ve seen gibbons eat horrifying things.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      My first and second grade class had a “Dirty Ernie”- the perverted kid who spins everything into cock’n'balls. I mean holy F, he giggled at the word “pencil.” In retrospect I am 99% sure he was molested by his dad (they were divorced) as he knew what sex was and knew all kinds of terms a 6-year-old should not know. Here are some highlights of his creepiness (luul cree-PENIS!):

      On the playground (full of gravel) he sat down and was dragging his feet through to the dirt going “I’m inside a girl’s vagina! Ooh squishy!”

      Any word with the word “ball” in it was immediately rendered a testicle. Our teacher was busy putting up beach ball themed numbers for the August bulletin calendar and said under her breath “I lost my beach balls!” which caused him to erupt into perverted giggles.

      Even songs weren’t immune. He turned the 3rd line of Frere Jacques into “I wanna eat my wiener.” We also used to sing a song where we go “I’m gonna shake, shake, shake my sillies out” which he of course turned to “shake my penis off” complete with interpretive dance.

      He was a sweet kid when he wasn’t looking through Freud’s goggles…

      • SA

        Wow, that is pretty horrible.

      • Jallun-Keatres

        It got worse too. Trigger warning.

        I share this because somehow it didn’t affect me but he had a crush on me and said that “people in love put their privates together” and we did that behind a tree. In first grade. I had no idea what was going on but you better believe my mom flipped $&#^ when she found out. She called the principal to make sure he learned that love should not escalate that quickly.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        oh man, I bet that kid did have some bad bad issues and poor you :(

      • Jallun-Keatres

        Yeah I hope he overcame all that. We both switched schools (not the same one and not because of him) the next year and I never saw him again.

        I wasn’t really affected as I’ve always been fairly asexual (not completely- don’t get me wrong!) so I was just kind of like “meh…” until I realized HOW F’D UP THAT WAS!!!!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        omg

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        That’s all pretty much a huge cry for help, the poor kid.

      • tk88

        It’s more disgusting that no adults reported this so the poor boy could have been helped.

      • Jallun-Keatres

        Yeah I know… I think my mom was the first to really realize what was going on. I watched her dial the principal at least once to gently explain the situation.

    • Danyelle

      So many stories lol… Let me see. I remember as a teenager over at my friends house I walked into the backyard to find her 9 year old sister and a friend pulling the legs/wings off of grasshoppers and drowning them in a bucket of water. Can we say serial killer material?
      When I was in elementary school a classmate decided I hadn’t handed them a pencil fast enough, so he dropped to the ground and stabbed me in the knee with said pencil. I still have a tiny scar.
      Just yesterday my 3 year old scared me to death saying “Mama I had a dream people were cutting your skin with knives.” Thinking I might be raising my own little serial killer I continued to discuss when she (thankfully) clarified she had dreamed about me cutting myself with a knife – she saw me cut my finger while making dinner a few days ago! I didn’t know it stuck with her that much lol.

      • Williwaw

        I have seen a lot of kids be cruel to bugs (pull the wings off butterflies, burn ants with a magnifying glass, etc.). I guess because they see parents step on ants or swat flies, they think it’s okay? I hope I can teach my kid that it’s okay to dispatch bugs painlessly for pest disposal (e.g. smack a mosquito) but that killing them inventively is not cool.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        I am ashamed to admit that as a small kid I would take enormous glee in feeding bluebottles to my venus fly trap…

      • Williwaw

        It’s okay, I did that too. In fact, I fed my pitcher plant so many bugs that it turned yellow and died.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        wohoo we should make a facebook page- Creepy Kiddie Plant Feeders!

      • Williwaw

        I also fed it some cheddar cheese. That probably didn’t help.

    • Tea

      I have two good ones from when I used to babysit. Just so you know, I’m a white cane user/Visually impaired.

      First kid, sighted: I talked a bit with the kid, who asked about my cane and seemed really curious and perky about it all. I was having a quick consultation with mom, the boy was running around, doing kid stuff, and weirdly enough, moving his toys around, like, carrying them off while on a mission. Evidently he was making a whole barbie town house row in front of the top of the stairs with his sister’s toys.
      Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
      Kid (with glee): I’m going to make Mr. Tea fall down the steps! *Kid starts laughing like it’s the funniest thing ever*

      Second kid, blind. I was making dinner for them, he was playing at the breakfast nook, just talking about pokemon, because we both liked it.
      Kid: Hey Tea!
      Me: Yeah bud?
      Kid: Do you know my house?
      Me: I’m learning.
      Kid, suddenly really serious: If I took your cane and it broke you’d be lost and helpless. *Long pause* I like charizard, who’s your favorite?
      Me: A-A…. Arcanine.
      And even though you should never keep your cane looped around your wrist, I didn’t let that thing out of my hands.

      • Jallun-Keatres

        Holy crap that’s creepy. When kids learn new things and experiment with their ideas it gets weird fast. XD

      • candyvines

        May I ask why you shouldn’t keep your cane looped around your wrist?

      • Tea

        It’s a hazard, the loop is for hooks, not wrists, as my Orientation and Mobility instructor drilled in.

        Best case scenario, it gets caught and you trip or get a wicked little rope burn on your wrist, or it can break if it gets stuck in a rut and you don’t drop it or take the pressure off (Fiber glass canes make wicked shrapnel, by the way.)

        The worst case scenario is that the cane get caught in something that moves, like snagged by a car, and it can pull you off balance, or worse, pull you along.

        I understand that it can be a very person to person preference, but when I did Orientation and Mobility, it was stressed that we should learn to hear where our cane falls, and how to safely retrieve it, and not rely on the strap. I know it can be a different story for people new to cane travel and having a lot of trouble adapting, like the elderly, who may not be able to retrieve a drop as easily. But the drag risk is why it was hammered into me to keep my hand out.

      • candyvines

        Thanks for the super informative answer! You answered my second question too – why there is a loop if not for your wrist.

      • Tea

        No problem, I’m kind of a bundle of weird issues (albinism, intersex, Low vison, ect.) So I’m used to all sorts of questions, they never bother me a bit as long as they’re worded nicely and no one’s pulling me away from my lunch.

    • G.E. Phillips

      When I was like 21, I nannied for this really screwy family. They had 3 kids, the youngest was 7, and the poor kid had ADHD and horrible anger issues (which I blame his parents for, because they were really fucking awful people.) Anyway, one Friday afternoon I was supposed to bring the little guy to his therapy appointment, and he did NOT want to go. And he proceeded to physically fight me as I was trying to get him to get into the car. If I recall correctly, the parents were actually gone for the weekend (that happened a lot) so there was no one I could call to help me. He pulled my hair and kicked me in the stomach, and I hated doing it, but I finally picked him up and put him in the car like a baby. Then I drove 45 minutes in rush-hour traffic to the therapist’s office, during which time, he fell asleep in the car. So I carried him inside, and proceeded to use the hour with his therapist myself. I needed it! And that wound up being the final straw before I quit that job.

    • Rachel Sea

      I used to get the snot beat out of me when I was a kid, but the worst was a girl at my elementary school named Sasha. She was almost two years older than me, and quite a lot bigger. One day she got mad that I wouldn’t give her front cuts in the line to get cake at a school party, so she knocked me to the ground, dropped her full weight onto my head, ass-first and farted. I had a bruise on my face in pattern of industrial carpet for a while.

      I’m having a bunch of people over tomorrow for tea, cake and end-of life planning. Most people don’t have their affairs in order, and I HATE that so I’m doing something about it.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      When I was 15, I once babysat a 3 years old who wasn’t potty trained (I was not forewarned of this) and she pooped a couples minutes after I asked if she needed to use the bathroom. Then while I was trying to clean her up, I asked where the diapering supplies were (I had not been given any information about anything) and she was curt and said “I don’t KNOW!” Then she smeared her green poop all over the bathroom and told me I should thank her for helping me.
      At one point I was in the bathroom (Trying to clean it? I don’t remember; I blocked it out) and came out and she was on the balcony. 12th floor. I ordered her back in the apartment and she told me, “I don’t have time for this.”
      I couldn’t get her ass clean because I didn’t know where a damn thing was and she wouldn’t keep her hands out of her feces. I couldn’t clean the bathroom she messed without her putting her life in danger. Ultimately, I put clothes over her crusty ass and committed myself to simply keeping her alive for the next few hours because $3 an hour is not worth this literal shit.
      They didn’t call me back and I was grateful.

    • thisshortenough

      While working in marks and Spencer’s a kid picked up a glass christmas bauble and threw it straight on the ground, smashing it everywhere. Christmas Day my cousin got a book off our granny because my granny gets books for all the little kids. Cousin immediately started crying and wouldn’t say thank you because she didn’t like it. This is the same cousin who regularly cries about not getting to sit on a chair at the dinner table and having to sit on the stools. The only reason for this is because there aren’t enough chairs for the adult sometimes let alone for the kids too.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      No real story to tell. But I’m selling girl scout cookies tonight. In the freaking rain. I’m hoping it stops before I have to get out there. :(

    • Not A Mandy

      So, lucky me, my brat story is my own kid! The girls are 7 and were just total terrors at bedtime one night. The next night, I informed them both that “if either of them took one step out of this bedroom, they would regret it.” About 2.5 hours post bedtime, I heard their door slam open. When I went to investigate, Kid A was standing in the doorway but still in her room – just waiting for me. I asked her what was up and she looked me dead in the eye and started peeing all over the floor. When I screamed “What are you doing? Get in the bathroom!” she hissed at me “You said we couldn’t leave the bedroom tonight,” finished up and tried to return to her bed. That child LITERALLY pissed herself to spite me.

      • Rachel Sea

        When he was 3-4 years old and pissed off at his dad, my cousin would poop on the stairs.

      • Williwaw

        We had a little neighbour girl who used to poop on our doorstep.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        I….I’m kind of in awe at her level of commitment to be honest

    • Amanda Lee

      Not really a horror story. My friend (at the time.. we don’t speak anymore because of his drug issues and general assholery) had a 3 year girl. Raising her as a single parent since the child’s mother died of H1N1. She was getting into the bratty stage of talking back, mimicking adults, and interrupting. Seriously, she acted just like her grandma (who lived with them).

      Anyway, this story is about the cutest little puppy he bought for her. Well when, the puppy did something like tear something up or pee/poop inside, they would yell at him (because that works for an animal) and give him a swat (a little too hard for my opinion). The little girl got into the habit of hitting the dog very hard any time it did something she didn’t like (walking too close by her, not moving out of her way fast enough) or failing to entertain her. Every time, I would say “Name, we don’t hit animals” just tell him “no” in my best stern “mommy” voice. If looks could give a message, hers would have been “eff you” to me.

      Luckily, they eventually gave the dog to someone else. I hope to god they are taking care of him better. The dog was always either ignored and outside or being yelled at. He even got mange :(

      Also, luckily, she got taken away from her dad/my ex-friend as well and is doing much better and no longer a brat.

    • pineapplegrasss

      Years ago, when my niece K (whom I love dearly, but is a fucking brat even today at 18) was about 4yo and my daughter F was 6yo. She was always a troubled child and a violent little shit.. anyways, she comes running out of the room crying and making a fuss, yelling about how F bit her. Of course the moms go to investigate. ‘Bit you? Where? What?’ K says on her hand, then we go to get F and see that F has blood on the side of her mouth. The moms ‘Oh no! you drew blood’ Turn to K to check her more thoroughly and get the story ‘She took (insert toy) from me’ says K. ‘Then she bit you?’ says mom. ‘Yeah! She bit me on the hand when I hit her in the mouth!’

    • LadyClodia

      My husband is painting our bedroom this weekend. My house looks like we’re having a war with the Forces of Clutter, and Clutter is winning hands down. I can’t even find the white flag to fly in surrender.
      My 5 year old has been obsessed with another little boy in his preschool class, and has been having a difficult time (i.e. being a jerk) when he doesn’t get to sit/stand/eat next to the other boy. A couple of weeks ago at pick-up time it was super cold and all of the parents were in line waiting, and it took an extra 10 minutes for them to let the kids go, and we were all freezing. I was asked to go inside, and then I found out that the reason we all had to wait forever freezing was because mine was having a freak out that he didn’t get to stand next to his friend and that was holding everyone else up. None of the other parents knew that that was what had happened, but I felt like an asshole because it was my kid’s fault.

    • Amanda Lee

      Man, you guys are really making me not want kids. What if I’m stuck with a demon child like the ones you’re describing? :)

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      I have 2:
      One, when I was in college, I was kind of a part time nanny. A three year old shot at me. With a 22. It happened to be empty, lucky for me. He didn’t know it would be empty though. He told me, “I hate you” and pulled the trigger. It was aimed at my head. (I didn’t even know they had guns in the house so it didn’t even dawn on me this could be real until he’d already done it).

      Second, I just talked about this the other day, but my wonderful daughter went through a huge sleepwalking phase. She would wander around completely asleep with her eyes open. She tried to pee in the kitchen once. We were afraid she’d get out of the house. The scariest part though is when she would just stand still and stare at you, eyes open, and shake…you know, like the freaky horror movie ghosts? This completely scares the crap out of me to this day.

      Just to test her I made her write once when she was asleep. She could write her name and it looked fine–but that’s a practiced skill. Then I had her write “I am asleep.” I watched her form the letters, but she made them one on top of the other so it was just a giant squiggle at the end. This scared the crap out of me, too.

      • Ddaisy

        Holy crap. That first one is terrifying. My heart is pounding just reading about it.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        It really was! I quit after that….but now I wonder what he did to the next babysitter. He’s probably college age by now or near it and that scares me more than anything.

    • Lee

      This is about when I was a creep as a teenager. My little (but also teenager) brother owed me money and wouldn’t pay me back even though I knew my mom kept giving him money. I kept threatening him and nothing was working. Our bedrooms both were over the garage where we could climb out on the the roof. So finally in the middle of the night I get a huge plastic knife and a black mask and climb out my window over to his open window and start scratching on the screen. Finally he woke up and ran out of his room flailing his arms screaming while I practically pissed myself laughing. Surprisingly my parents thought it was pretty funny too.

    • Guest

      My brother was a little jerkoff when he was a kid. Explains why they waited so long after to have me :)
      -He brought the hose in the house to spray my mom.
      -Locked her out of the house.
      -Got in a car that someone was working on (UNDER) and put it in neutral and sat there while it rolled into the neighbor’s yard.
      -Called 911 and requested they put his mom in a cage for trying to make him take a bath. -Got in a fight with Pizza Hut because he was trying to call in an order for a pickle pizza and they informed him there was no such thing.
      -Also, applied for a credit card (I’m not sure how).
      All of this was before he turned 5.
      I hope that his children shall return these favors to him in the future.

    • Lee

      Here’s another about someone else’s kid. We were at the pool when the boy was around 9 months. Some little boy around 4 who was totally unsupervised comes up to us in the water and starts asking all these questions like how does the baby eat, etc. He finally asks how the the baby get clean. Before I could answer, the little shit takes his arm and runs it across the water to make a wave of water that goes right into my sons face and screams “HE TAKES A SHOWER!” I wanted to slap that kid. I settled on the responsible thing and told him how wrong it was.

      • Karen Milton

        When my daughter was a young toddler we liked to take her to a local wading pool. It was a hot summer and the pool was always busy, but she didn’t mind. Most of the kids were small like she was, but there were quite a few older kids whose parents figured they’d use the teenage lifeguard as a babysitter and just ditch their kid for a while. Anyway, this older girl noticed my daughter and said “aw, she’s cute!” and then proceeded to pick my daughter up and head for the center of the pool. I got my daughter away toute de suite (I was in the water as well) and asked kind of shocked, “what are you doing?!” She said, “the pool is deeper in the middle, I wanted to see if it was over her head”. The lifeguard saw and kicked her out, but her parents were nowhere to be seen so she just had to sit in front of the lifeguard station for 45 minutes waiting. She didn’t try to drown anybody else, which is nice.

    • SarahJesness

      When I was a little kid, I was at the park and went to get a drink from the water fountain. Some little bastard (who came after me) wanted to go first and hit me on top of the head with a soccer ball so hard that it fucked up my teeth badly and I hated to get braces when I was older.

      I also see a lot of kids who harass zoo animals. The zoo at the town I used to live at had a big alligator pit and kids would try to hit them with change.

      • Guest

        We discussed the kids/adults harassing zoo animals in one of my college classes. It never occurred to me that lots of what kids do are seen as threatening towards animals (showing teeth, waving arms etc to a gorilla for exampłe) which is just sad because they get that all day I’m sure. I also always. Remember the story at a zoo where 4 kids were throwing sticks and mimicking the roaring of the lion. He jumped the fence and mauled one of the kids to death. I’d venture the other 3 will leave animals alone now for the rest of their lives.

      • SarahJesness

        Even for the animals that can’t escape and/or kill anyone, it’s just plain stressful to them. They might be just animals, but no one should be unnecessarily rude to them. Even if they don’t have complex thoughts or emotions, they still probably get stressed and upset when people bang on their windows or poke them with sticks or whatever.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      I work in a shop and a kid SCREAMED at me, spat at me, called me a b***h and threw a juicebox at me because I wouldn’t hand him an iPhone.
      His mother ended up buying it for him “as a treat”
      Kid couldn’t have been more than 5

    • AnastasiaMcNally

      My baby is only six months old and so far a perfect little angel and not creepy at all (a little obsessed with my nipples, but not creepy), but when my brother was around about 4-5 he managed to get a condom out of a draw in our older stepbrothers room, unwrap it, and roll it over his hand almost up to his elbow. He came out into the living room looking just SO proud of himself and said “look, mum! Glove! GLOVE!!”

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        LOL I was at my first rock concert when I was 10 (Red Hot Chili Peppers, best mom ever!) and I saw all these inflated condoms.
        I didn’t understand why my delighted cry of “BALLOOOONNSSS” made my mom roll around…

    • Ddaisy

      Once, when I was working at the popcorn store in the mall, this kid (about 7 or 8) came to the store with his grandma. He whined and begged and pleaded for the expensive lunch tin, but his grandma said no, she couldn’t afford it, and he could get the cheap plastic bucket instead. He started screaming and hitting her and just generally behaving like a little hellion. AND SHE BOUGHT HIM THE EXPENSIVE TIN. I actually felt a little bit dirty inside for selling it to her.

      Another time, working front desk at a hotel, I had just mopped the entire lobby after breakfast. There was a team of teenage lacrosse boys staying that weekend, and they ran in, intentionally slipping and sliding on the fresh-mopped tile, trying to make the biggest, muddiest, mess that they could. It is the only time in my life that I have actually yelled at a customer. I just absolutely let them have it. And when they turned around and stared at me with wide-eyed surprise, I realized that one of them was one of the moms. She was just watching them trash my floor and didn’t say a word. I was furious. I actually had another customer on the phone that I had to get back to, or I would’ve handed them the mop and bucket and said, “Here. You fix it.”

    • tk88

      I once babysat two brothers who were 10 and 8. I got there one morning and their sweet little poodle mix’s hair was all weird and covered in some sort of crust. I asked the older boy what happened and he said his brother covered the dog in GLUE. I was furious and when I confronted him about it, he just laughed. But then he cried hysterically on the way to/at the bus stop when he wasn’t allowed to walk the dog after I told him he lost the privilege for being cruel to her. I was so pissed and still wish I could have taken the dog home with me.

    • cabecb

      A boy was rubbing his face on the back of my hand when he tells me my hands are so smooth and he wants to cut them off and put them on his wrists. I told him he would have to cut his hands off first and my hands would be too small for boxing. The boy was a boxer. Then I took my hand back and walked away.

    • SunnyD847

      I took my kindergarten-age daughter to a party at one of those inflatable party places. One of her classmates was there with her little brother who was 2 or 3 and quite small for his age. Wandering around, I looked into one of the inflatable and saw a girl physically assaulting this toddler. She was throwing him down, jumping on his head, and punching him while other kids looked on. I have worked with kids my whole life and I was shocked by her viciousness. I scrambled in, grabbed the little boy and yelled in her face “what are you DOING?” She said he didn’t belong at the party because he was a baby. I took the hysterical boy to his dad. While I was explaining what happened I look over and see this girl crying and telling her mom that I was mean to her. The mom looked at me and I just stared back daring her to come over and confront me. She didn’t and I’ve always regretted I didn’t tell her about her little psycho’s behavior.

    • scooby23

      I’m a little late to the party here, but I’ve got a creepy kid story. The family who lived in my house before my family had a son who was about 7. Apparently he used to just wander into peoples’ houses, and I have no idea why.