• Wed, Feb 5 - 2:00 pm ET

If You Want A Baby But Not A Dumb Spouse, This Website Is For You

186756143Whoever invented the biological clock is a sick bastard. You’re just going on merrily about your life, minding your own business – when all of a sudden your doctor starts mentioning things like the age of your eggs and using phrases like “advanced maternal age.” And you’re single. You don’t really want to do it alone, so now what?

The pressure of finding that perfect girl or guy to start a family with is overwhelming when you are suddenly on the clock. How can you freely date when every single person you meet has to not only appeal to you, but also be ready to start a family? I have many a friend who missed the baby boat because they were waiting for the perfect nuclear family situation to land on their doorstep. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work out.

A genius named Ivan Fatovic decided to do something about this conundrum by starting the website Modamily.com:

We noticed a good portion of family and friends spending their 20s and 30s focused on their careers and putting off marriage and children.Yet, as they approached 40, especially in the case of female friends, there came an enormous amount of pressure for finding a partner, often resulting in rushed marriages ending in divorce.

It was even more disheartening when a child was introduced because now that child would often have to be raised in an environment of friction where mommy and daddy did not get along. I felt there had to be another viable option that could protect against these problems. Hence, co-parenting.

This could seriously be the wave of the future.

The site provides background checks, legal resources, fertility resources and of course – matchmaking services. Members fill out an extensive questionnaire that matches people based on financial profiles, religious  and moral preferences, and parenting styles.

This seems like a sound idea to me – especially considering divorce rates and how many families are raising children in separated homes anyway. Add the bad blood that can often exist in relationships that have failed, and it almost seems like a better alternative.

Dawn Pieke from California was in a long-term relationship that ended when she was 40. She met Fabien Blue on the site and they are now co-parents of baby Indigo.

Rachel Hope has co-parented both of her children. She says her focus was on finding the best father for her child rather than the perfect husband. Using Modamily, she expects to be pregnant with her third child this year.

“Everyone on here is ready to take that next step and whether they are romantically dating or not the point is they’re ready and we’re going to help you find someone,” said Modamily founder Ivan Fatovic.

Sounds good to me. Why not?

(photo: Getty Images)

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  • Bethany Ramos

    This has adorable Jennifer Aniston rom com written all over it. Oh, wait…

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Isn’t “If you’re still single when your 40 and I’m still single when I’m 40″ the start to like 7 rom coms already?…. this just adds a website to broaden the search.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Awwww they should get Friends to sponsor this site.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri
    • Bethany Ramos

      YES.

  • Robotic Arms Dealer

    Wait, so this is like a dating site? but for parenting?

  • Tea

    I wonder how this works out, long term, legally and custody wise, because it’s almost tempting.

  • chickadee

    I don’t mean to cold-shower this idea, but it seems like there are a host of legal issues that could make this a bad plan. I would definitely just go the sperm bank route, because then the law could not require me to make personal decisions based on a contract.

    It just feels kind of weird, since a child is a huge commitment and I think I would want there to be a real relationship between me and the dude I am parenting with.

    • Andrea

      Well the whole point is that you wouldn’t do it alone, like you would if you went the sperm bank route. You would have the father of your child intimately (and I am guessing financially too) involved in your child’s life. You focus on finding the right father versus the right husband. I can name lots of men that I know that either are or could be wonderful fathers, but that I just could not consider as a partner for myself.
      The standards are different.
      Although, I couldn’t do it. It’s hard enough (I think) to have a parenting consensus with a man you live with and love a lot. To do so with an almost stranger doesn’t sound appealing to me.

    • chickadee

      I guess what I’m saying is that I’m a big enough control freak that I would rather go it alone than allow potential life decisions be partly affected by a dude I met on the internet and whom I didn’t love. If he is going to be a part of my life, he would need to be husband material, too.

    • Andrea

      Well I’m with you there.

  • SA

    I don’t really care for the idea because it just seems like it would have the potential to have all the same downsides as divorce. Parents not getting along, arguing over custody, new step-moms/dads that weren’t part of the original contract, etc etc. Except you are dealing with a stranger to whom you have no other ties raising your child instead of situations of divorce where it was someone you had a life with and knew their family, etc etc

    But I guess at least you would supposedly have two people that were so committed to having a child that they went through this process?

  • G.E. Phillips

    BRB, about to go register for this because, EXACTLY.

  • guest

    I thought this was going to be about how hard it is to have a child when your spouse acts like a child himself…so not “dumb,” I guess…must have been wishful thinking and/or desperation on my part.

  • meteor_echo

    Biological clock is a bullshit mixture of social pressure and the desire to keep up with the Joneses. But then, I digress.

  • Rachel Sea

    Gay folks have done this for ages, but it can be very legally complicated. All parties should have lawyers well versed in the state’s laws, and cognizant of the existing laws in all other states which could potentially invalidate portions of the contract in the event of a move.