crib

I don’t know if momsomnia is a real word or not, but it is now. And it is the condition my toddler is causing in me, characterized by jolting awake at the slightest sound, worrying obsessively, and tossing and turning for hours—all at the thought of my son escaping from his crib and roaming throughout the house.

My son just turned two, and thankfully, he’s small for his age. He’s climbing on anything and everything, including our entertainment center, but he hasn’t figured out to how to jump out of his crib just yet. A friend of ours has a two and a half year old that has been making the “great escape” for well over six months now.

And what if he does escape? Well, I assume he’d start crying, and we’d hear him. Or, maybe he’d chill out in his room and fall asleep on the floor. But what if he was a total crazy person like this three year old on Reddit?

Often, he won’t even wake me or my husband up when he wakes up at 5am! he’ll just open his door, go downstairs (climbing over the gate if he has to), turn on the TV, get himself breakfast, and genererally do whatever the hell he wants. it’s scary! and i won’t even know because i’m asleep! i have a monitor on in his room, but he doesn’t make enough noise to wake me up! can you guys help me?! please?! i’m exhausted from his early wake up time (alongside of his baby sister’s nighttime routine) and i know that this isn’t a safe routine.

Oh my God, no. NO, NO, NO. The thought of my toddler climbing out of his bed and roaming about the house to do whatever he pleases makes my blood run cold. I’ve read way too many articles about the billion and one household dangers that must be kept away from kids—hanging cords, steak knives, heavy bookcases. A toddler that climbs out of bed and roams free would never allow me a peaceful night of sleep again.

Right now, we have a baby gate on my son’s door, and he’s still in his crib. Since he hasn’t learned how to climb out, his “cage” seems like the safest bet. I know many parents of two year olds are in the process of transitioning into a toddler bed, but I don’t think so. Keeping my kid in a cage for as long as possible is the only way I’m going to sleep at night.

(photo: Getty Images)