• Mon, Feb 3 - 9:00 am ET

8 Reasons Elmo Is A Better Parent Than Me

316px-Elmo-elmo-elmoMy love affair with Sesame Street started when my first son was sick for at least three months after his first encounter with daycare. We had nothing else to do but binge-watch Sesame Street on Netflix. I’ve always been skeptical of kid’s shows and how freaking annoying they are, but Sesame Street had me obsessed.

The celebrities! The parodies! The witty jokes! The surprisingly un-annoying puppet voices and dances! I could go on for hours. I always know when there’s a new episode, and I watch Sesame Street celebrity music videos on YouTube to entertain my son in a pinch.

With all of the Sesame Street domination in our house, it’s clear that Elmo has an influence. My two-year-old even calls the color red “Elmo.” Since I’ve let Sesame Street binge-watching become a bad habit, it’s clear that Elmo has become a partner in our parenting. Oh, and did I mention that my two-year-old calls us parents “Elmo-mama-dada”? And so it begins.

Elmo is turning three-and-a-half yet again (his permanent age) on February 3. In honor of the little guy’s birthday, I’d love to share eight ways that Elmo is obviously a better parent than me. He has a hand in raising my son, so he deserves the credit:

1. He is endlessly patient.

Elmo repeats the same words over and over and over again, and just when you think he’s done, he repeats them again. If I had one tenth of his puppety patience, I’d be parent of the year.

2. He knows people in high places.

Ricky Gervais, Cameron Diaz, Sarah Jessica Parker, the list goes on. Elmo’s entourage definitely gives him cool points in the parent category.

3. He can sing and dance.

I certainly can’t do that when trying to entertain my kids, unless it’s the awkward white girl dance. The only catch is that Elmo’s puppety legs freak me the fuck out.

4. He can entertain for hours.

That’s the beauty of Elmo on TV—he goes on a loop and never stops. If I have to read the same story more than twice, I get all twitchy inside.

5. He advocates sharing.

I hope my toddler learns from Elmo’s example because around our house, the sharing battle between him and his eight-month-old brother almost isn’t worth fighting. I give up.

6. He’s a social butterfly.

Elmo’s always hanging out with dozens of puppets doing puppet things on Sesame Street. I’d assume he’d have an in to lots of fun playdates, while I’m still trying to make a single mom friend in my area.

7. He talks in third person.

Talking in third person always, always makes you a BAMF (bad ass motherfucker). More cool points for Elmo.

8. Elmo isn’t a picky eater.

According to some Internet rumor, Elmo’s favorite food is wasabi, which is why he has no eyelids. As the third parent of my child, I hope Elmo teaches my son a little something about expanding his palate beyond macaroni and mashed potatoes.

(Image: muppet.wikia.com)

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  • Jessica

    I completely back you up with all the love for what’s happening on The Street! True story- my youngest consistently and cheerfully refers to Elmo as “Dada.” We can’t get him to stop!!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahaha Elmo is the real father…

  • ShanLea

    Elmo is absolutely everywhere in my house…books, videos, toys…I can’t escape him. I love the fact that I can watch an “Elmo’s World” with the 2 year old, and remember watching the same episode with the 12 year old when he was little. The 12 year old, being a gross tween boy, loves the fact that we own a book titled “Elmo Loves Balls”.

    • Bethany Ramos

      LOL At least I’m not the only person that reads innuendos in children’s books…

    • ShanLea

      I always considered myself to have a pretty inappropriate sense of humor, but let me tell ya, 12 year old boys open your eyes to a whole new realm of dirtyness!

  • Alex Lee

    My family has since outgrown Elmo, but when he was relevant in our home, I was called upon by the kids to do Elmo’s voice – especially at bedtime.

    So, yes. I was leveraging Elmo’s superiority for my own gain. I am not proud.

    Would like more details about the awkward white girl dance. YouTube only provides twerking links.
    TYVM.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Lol this may as well be me:

      http://i.imgur.com/RT2CMu7.gif

    • pixie

      That’s pretty much me when I dance.
      I also take some of my dance moves from the game the Sims and have one move I call “the drowning sim”, because I flail my hands above my head like the Sims do when they’re drowning. It also can become “the spontaneous combustion sim” if I decide to run around at the same time, like the Sims do when they’re on fire.

      And I just realize how morbid I sound… #dontjudgeme

    • Bethany Ramos

      This image is killing me!!

  • Coby

    Sadly, we became Elmo snobs around the time of The Transition (when Kevin Clash left and Ryan Dillon took over). We watched Benjamin Bratt teach kids about the word “translate” with New Elmo, and my husband and I visibly recoiled. Not at Benjamin Bratt, mind you, because, seriously, who COULD recoil at him. Just… the voice is different.

    Thank goodness for the interwebs and the endless hours of Elmo clips available to us.

  • Kay_Sue

    “I hope my toddler learns from Elmo’s example because around our house, the sharing battle between him and his eight-month-old brother almost isn’t worth fighting. I give up.”

    This. Because this is where I was just before I discovered the Hunger Games style of parenting. Basically you just ignore the screams and eventually they stop.

    • ted3553

      I remember sitting at the kitchen table while my mom was cooking and my sisters who were about 13 and 11 started fighting and it broke out into slaps and my mom just kept cooking. I was busy watching the entertainment thinking how awesome it was that my mom was ignoring them. She had just had enough of the 3 of us constantly fighting. Best memory ever. Still makes me smile when I think about it.

    • Kay_Sue

      Sometimes you just have to let them work it out on their own. And they do make good memories later on. ;)

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      Can you please write a how-to guide about Hunger Games-style parenting? In the hypothetical world where I abandoned all my instincts telling me I should not have children, I would totally push past all the books about attachment parenting, free-range parenting, and natural parenting in favor of that one.

    • Kay_Sue

      I will have to do that, lol.

  • Itpainsmetosay

    Hey Elmo’s fake half birthday is on my actual birthday, not sure how I feel about that.

  • SA

    Elmo is usually the first or second word out of my daughter’s mouth every day. We go through the store and she screams ELMO and it always takes me about 10 minutes to figure out what she saw, she has a keen eye for that little guy. Anything red is Elmo. L-M-N-O-P in the alphabet song is ELMO-P. When she screams for Elmo I never know if she wants to watch it, wants her doll, wants her toothpaste, wants her smoothie cup…it is all just Elmo. I thought I so wouldn’t be the mom that bought into all of that….and believe me, I’m still not spending $100 bucks on some hugging Elmo doll, but I really actually love Elmo and the whole Sesame Street thing.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Awwww adorable!

  • ElmosfutureMIL

    My two year old loves elmo. And he’s inescapable. Red is also elmo here, and so is her baby brother Elliot. She spent two months asking for the same elmo toy at Wal-Mart every time.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Love your username!!