• Fri, Jan 31 - 9:00 am ET

10 Totally Over The Top Mommy Manicures

babyshowernailstumblrI used to get my nails did. Back when I was knocked up with my eldest getting my nails done was one of the only times I could feel like an actual human and not just a giant incubator for my baby. Even though I waddled into the nail salon and my hair was usually fashioned with a scrunchie it made me feel good about myself.

Until after he was born and I attempted changing a particularly fruitful diaper with a set of long acrylics.

I no longer wear acrylic nails. I don’t have time to get them filled and I usually end breaking one before my next appointment. Now I get the occasional gel manicure even though it may be bad for my health. But back in the day I loved me some fake nails, especially when I had a single nail bedazzled up with my initial.

Some moms out there haven’t given up have long, bejeweled talons, including moms who are pregnant and using their nails to show off this little fact. Here are 10 Mommy Manicures that I never even once considered rocking while I was knocked up.

1.Baby Shower Nails 

(Pinterest)

(Pinterest)

2. Super Fancy Baby Shower Nails

(Gold N Glam: Tumblr)

(Gold N Glam: Tumblr)

These are ridic. I don’t think you could actually DIY these, especially because when you’re knocked up you usually feel like taking a nap every hour.

3. I’m pretty sure it’s a girl nails 

(Image: Pinterest)

(Image: Pinterest)

That’s one way to announce the gender of your baby.

4. Or, a boy.. 

 

(Image: pinterest)

(Image: pinterest)

 5. My baby’s gender is none of your biz nails 

(Image: pinterest)

(Image: pinterest)

6. Matching the shower invite 

(Image: hey, nice nails.com)

(Image: hey, nice nails.com)

7. Matching the decor 

(Image: pinterest)

(Image: pinterest)

8. With the actual ultrasound image

(Image: pinterest)

(Image: pinterest)

9. With a little plastic baby

(Image: Naty's nails/pinterest)

(Image: Naty’s nails/pinterest)


10. And hopefully with your BFF following you around because there is no way you are going to be able to pull down your maternity jeans when you need to pee

(Image:pinterest)

(Image:pinterest)

(Image: tumblr)

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  • jane

    Do #8, 9, and 10 ever poop? Because, wiping, how?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      This is why you need a lady maid

    • kate

      who poops when they’re pregnant?

    • Jallun-Keatres

      LOOOOL OMG YES!!

  • Julia Sonenshein

    Where did they find a mini baby that would fit on a nail?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Julia, this is something we did not tell you, before you have a baby you can PICK the size, that is a cast of an actual 8 month old baby

    • Julia Sonenshein

      I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN ABOUT PARENTING

  • pixie

    I don’t understand super long scary talon nails. Mostly because I’ve seen my best friend have regular fake nails and even then she had a hard time using her touch screen phone (#firstworldproblems, I know, but it also made her job as a cashier difficult). I’m also really bad at doing my nails and have only recently mastered not painting the entire top portion of my finger when trying to do my nails. *shakes fist* curse you small nail beds and need to keep short nails to avoid poking someone’s eye out in martial arts during my best nail-painting-learning years!

    • Rachel Sea

      I always know it’s time to trim my nails when the typos start to get ridiculous.

  • Andy

    Ok, the woodland nails and the short, simple polka dot ones-I can see those. Actually love the woodland ones. The rest, especially the talons, well….I think those mommies are in for a rude awakening as soon as the baby gets here. If it’s their first pregnancy, they should have fun with fashion and beauty as long as they can. I’m not a mommy martyr, I shower, wear makeup, get dressed and at least try to fix my hair every day, but the reality is you choose between personal upkeep and sleep once the baby comes. Me, I chose sleep over mani/pedis!

  • Bethany Ramos

    Ultrasound noooooo. I thought it was bad enough that ultrasounds are now the norm on FB, but nails??

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    Number 7 is the only one I’d sport, although not really because A. I can’t do that and B. I’m unwilling to pay someone else to do that.
    9 and 10 make me wonder how they use the toilet, dress themselves or eat a sandwich.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      mmm sammich

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      I agree, #7 was actually kinda cute. I mean, if you INSIST on getting special baby shower nails then that’s the way to do it I suppose. Plus, you can still poop and text and stuff.

  • Natasha B

    Ok, the matching the invite ones were kinda cute and not obnoxious. The rest were just scary and tacky city….

  • Shelly Lloyd

    If I do my nails I just paint them a single color or I might put a sparkly top coat on. But that is about as fancy as I get. And my nails are super short. I could go get acrylics but they would just get beaten up at my job. I work in a big box grocery/department store with a gas-station and tire/lube station attached. And I am crossed train for just about every floor position except butcher, tires/lube and overnights. I might come in and spend all day on the register or I might get put in the bakery. or I could get sent to the gas station for a while. Which is good and bad. But there I end up pumping gas for little old ladies all day. Most days I float and do breaks for different departments. Which I like because I do not have to stay in one place for too long and it helps they day go by fast….But anyways there is not a position in my store that is easy on the the finger nails. The one thing I miss the most about the camera studio I use to work at was that I could have nice looking nails.

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    Ok, I just looked at the ultrasound one again and she also has pictures of herself as well. WTF?

    • kay

      Now I want a manicure made entirely of pictures of me!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I’m gonna get one with pics of you

    • AmazingE

      Can I be on your middle finger? Cos that would be awesome.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      YES always, I would totally get a #Mommyishfriends manicure

    • AmazingE

      Best spa day EVER.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      idk how am gonna fit both you and Juice on my nail :(

    • AmazingE

      I’ll be on top, haha.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      YESH

  • Kresaera

    I had acrylic nails for the better part of my teenage years. Once I had to pay for them myself, that’s when I stopped. My nails naturally grow long and healthy so I don’t really *need* acrylic ones but it was fun to have them airbrushed. However, the last picture, that bitch’s pinky nail is CURLED! No, thank you.

    I do frequent Pinterest though for new nail polish ideas =D

  • That_Darn_Kat

    I used to have acrylics. When I was 16, my mom bought me my first set, but I had to pay for them from then on. I wore those all the time from 16 to 21 (I have really bad natural nails, they’re brittle and break easy, plus I bite them). At 21, I had my daughter and, because she was a preemie, I just didn’t think about getting my nails done. After that, I just didn’t want to spend that money. I’d love to start getting my nails done again, but since I’m a SAHM, and am doing classes online this semester, it seems like a waste. Maybe next semester? I always kept mine fairly short, though, like barely over the tip of my finger. I’ve met people with natural nails longer than I’d keep mine, lol. I remember re-learning how to do everything with them…type, peel potatoes, put in contacts. Oh those were the fun days.

    • AmazingE

      I keep mine pretty short too, otherwise like you, they get brittle and break and I’ll bite them. The good news is that you can do your own manicures and it’s really not that hard, plus there are a lot of good strengthening polishes out there. My personal favorites are the Sally Hansen ones, because not only do they work, they’re also fairly inexpensive compared to some other brands. My advice to you would be to get yourself some good quality files and buffers and some good hand lotion and just try it. Once you get it down, you’ll never want someone else to do it.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      I do need to pick up some good quality manicure items, but mostly because my daughter is getting to that age where she wants pretty nails. I can’t paint my own nails to save my life, but I’ll spend 40 minutes making sure hers and nice and pretty, lol. I’ll have to see if there’s anything new on the strengthening polishes. I swear I’ve tried just about everything on the market and not much truly worked for me. It’s a family thing, my mom has brittle, thin nails, too. The only time I was able to even sorta grow nails was when I was pregnant with my son, and I’m pretty sure it was due to the brand of prenatal vitamins I was on. Of course, I’ve tried other brands, but can’t find anything similar. *sigh*. Eventually, I’ll have my nails again, lol.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I kinda wanna show you guys my absurd nail polish BIN. My kid loves doing her nails. sometimes she isn’t the neatest so I always make her put down tons of newspaper. she loves painting her brothers and my husband’s toes too

    • That_Darn_Kat

      Can she do mine, too? Lol. I always loved to buy all the pretty nail polish, and the sparkle polish, but I just can’t seem to paint my own hand. I’m not even talking like one hand is pretty and the other is horrible, both hands usually look like they were done by a 3 year old. And all of my girlfriends go to salons to get their nails done. Damn, I really need my daughter to get old enough so she can paint my nails after I paint hers.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      YOU NEED TO GO SLOWWWW. and try not to get too close to the edge of your nails. and get drunk while doing it, and make someone feed you snacks while doing it.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      Anything I can do while having a bottle of wine by my side sounds good to me!

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Wet and Wild makes a super cheap one that has a “manicure curve brush” or something like that. They’re at Wal Mart and Walgreens and are under $2 a piece. But the brush enables you to do it in like 1 or 2 sweeps. That’s all I buy now and it’s super easy.

    • AmazingE

      I’ll see your bin and raise you a nail polish suitcase, haha. My mom and sister bought me a giant makeup case for Christmas a couple years ago and although it also has some makeup in it, it’s mostly full of nail polish. Also, I’m a pro at painting nails so when you want them done, let me know.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      YES

    • Alexandra

      Awwww LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Allie Brosh
      In a totally stalkerish non-healthy I want to move to Idaho or wherever she lives now and find her and be her best friend kind of way :)

    • Sri

      I have a salon style rack that my husband made for me. Like one of those wall mounted acrylic cases that you have to browse at the nail salon to pick your color. I have since run out of room on the rack, and some bottles that I use all the time live rack adjacent :(

      My students always comment on the fact that my nail polish changes almost every day. I even did the blood drip nails ( http://www.thegloss.com/2013/10/11/beauty/blood-dripping-manicure-tutorial-halloween-nails/ ) for Halloween, which even the boys commented on. What I don’t tell them is that I have to have them painted AND without chips, otherwise I bite them like mad. If they’re pretty, though, I don’t. Since I work in a school, which is a hotbed of germs, I consider keeping my nails looking good a preventative health measure. That’s how that works, right?

    • http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

      I could’ve written this post. I’m a nail-biter as well (though somewhat reformed; I went through a phase of getting acrylics and then couldn’t bite them… but then when the acrylics came off, they were worse :/), and when I do get my nails done, I keep them very short. My bestie has really long nails sometimes and somehow manages to still text and everything, but I just can’t figure it out. They interfere with my typing!

      I got a manicure after my kid was born, and I miss the nails I had post-pregnancy… they were super-strong and just really awesome. They went back to their pre-baby non-awesomeness way too soon. :(

      Btw, if you can, biogel is fantastic — it’s a healthy option for your nails compared to acrylics, and makes your nails super-strong. Plus it doesn’t chip or crack easily, provided you get them done properly. If they don’t layer them enough, the coating can peel pretty quickly, but at least it doesn’t hurt like when acrylics come off.

      (I had biogel with tips done when I get married, and the woman gave me *talons*… I was actually afraid to take my contacts out at the end of the night. Fortunately didn’t blind myself!)

    • Rachel Sea

      Could be a diet thing. My nails used to be so papery thin I could fold the tips back and forth, and they shattered all the time, but I started eating red meat and taking pre-natal vitamins and now they’re tough as anything.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      and biting them makes them weak and soft too. Used to be my prob.

  • AmazingE

    6 and 7 are both kinda cute but the rest, not so much. If I had nails like that I’d never get anything done because the second I tried to actually do something, they’d be ruined. That being said, one of the things I most enjoy about being pregnant was being able to have nicely manicured nails that would last longer than a couple days. Some women hoard shoes, but for me it’s nail polish. Sparkles, crackle finish, magnetic colors, glow in the dark polish, you name it and I’ve probably got a bottle or two kicking around. I don’t wear makeup that often, but you’ll almost never catch me without my nails painted. Makes me feel pretty.

  • JLH1986

    Is it bad that this weirds me out way less than that creepy ass 3d print you can get now. I wonder if that will be next you get two one to keep and one to put on your nails? http://technabob.com/blog/2014/01/30/unborn-baby-3d-printed-figure/

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      maria wrote up those I think last week?

    • JLH1986

      CREEPY!

    • Rachel Sea

      Thankfully that kickstarter didn’t get funded, so it ain’t happening.

  • Lee

    I am rather disturbed by the curled nail in #10.

  • Kay_Sue

    Those last three…how the fuck do you get anything done with those?

    I felt snazzy when I did my pink glitter/ white middle finger with pink ribbon for October, lol. Now, I feel inadequate as a nail artist / person in the possession of fingernails.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      NOM NOM NOM

    • Kay_Sue

      I would eat my fingers. I love those things…

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      bacon nails

    • Kay_Sue

      That’s the most awesome manicure ever.

    • Unforgettable

      That might cause me to start biting my nails again

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    all that matter is I just found pro-life nails you guys

    • MerlePerle

      #choseabetternailartist

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      I have no words for this.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    long nails gross me right the f out. #8 on omg. I can’t stand seeing any white or any square shape on my nails so yeah there are some guys out there with prettier nails than mine. Not sorry :P

  • Rachel Sea

    I’m surprised the ultrasound picture wasn’t one of his junk.

  • Michelle Pittman

    once again eve sent me to google…i wish i had nails just so i could get this sweet Supernatural mani http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/267/4/0/supernatural_manicure_by_craftymccraftersons-d5ftpiz.jpg

  • Michelle Pittman
    • Jezebeelzebub

      Now, THIS- this is classy.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      I would get this manicure in a heartbeat.

  • Nimue

    Wait, wait…I thought once you became a parent you were supposed to give up on the beauty stuff and only live for your child. How dare these women spend money on a manicures. Won’t they think of their children? So selfish. (BTW: since this is my coming out post and there is no sarcasm button, just saying this is sarcasm)

  • Alex Lee

    3D Printed Nail Art by The Laser Girls:

    http://www.shapeways.com/shops/thelasergirls

  • Scarlet

    Ugh I hate super long nails they creep me out! Also I’m worse than a 3 year old at painting nails so I never do mine, my sister and bridesmaids freaked out when I wasn’t going to get my nails done for my wedding and made me get a manicure and I somehow managed to completely destroy it in one day! No hand pictures in our wedding album!!

  • bubbles24601

    I like the polka dotted ones and the ones that match the shower invite. The rest are too tacky for me.
    Now, serious biz here, where do I find that shower invite?! It’s too damn cute!

  • Holly

    Do these ladies not wash dishes? Do laundry? Wipe their arses? How in the heck to you keep up a mani like that? If I paint mine they are chipped by the end of the day, even when they’re professionally done. These manicures blow my mind!! The time, expense, and lack of practicality. Maybe just for a special occasion, though?

  • Edify

    That’s some fucked up shit. It scared all of the politeness out of me.

  • Momma425

    Ok- the people in pictures 8, 9, and 10- what jobs to they have where they can have nails so long? I wouldn’t be able to type… I just can’t.

  • Justme

    Was the baby in number 8 named “Demon” or do I just need glasses?

  • Peyton

    Hey, its better than some baby shower cakes out there. There were no baby crowning through a vagina nails so lets take a moment to be thankful for that.

    Also, that one blue nail among all the the pink ones in the first baby shower nails pic is throwing me off a bit.

  • PYT

    Baby Demon? or Baby Damon. That’s the real question here.