8 Things I Wouldn’t Know About Your Kid If Facebook Didn’t Exist

laptopIf you’ve ever read STFU parents, then you know by now that Facebook overshares are a real thing. The funny thing is that Facebook overshares will go on until the end of time because every parent is deluded (probably myself included) into thinking that they aren’t the culprit.

The odds are that you’ve slipped up a time or two and have posted an annoying Facebook status—whether it was a gushing description of your baby’s first word that made all your single friends want to wretch or even a picture of your kid’s wart as a cry for help because the pediatrician’s office was already closed.

If you are friends with parents on Facebook, you probably know way too much about their kids already. The good news is that there’s no reason to get together and catch up because you know exactly what grade little Johnny got on his last math test. The bad news is that this behavior is ultra-annoying, and no one ever wants to read about your baby’s dirty diaper.

Here are 8 things I would never know about your kid without the TMI train wreck that is social media:

1. The exact millisecond of conception.


All I can say to this is, Noooooo. I’ve seen quite a few newlyweds on my feed joke about “trying.” And then I promptly threw up my sandwich.

2.    What your baby looks like in the womb.


I’m not necessarily against sonogram pics, but I’ve seen so many of them that I can’t tell all of the blurry alien babies apart!

3.    Way too much information about bodily functions.


This is just not acceptable, any way you slice it. Thank goodness my husband doesn’t mind talking about the texture of baby poop, so I can get my fix before I turn all my Facebook friends against me.

4.    Stupid shit your kid says.


Maybe I’m dead inside, but there’s nothing that irritates me more than parents quoting their kids on Facebook. NO ONE THINKS IT’S AS FUNNY AS YOU DO. I rest my case.

5.    Your kid’s first day of school outfit.


Sure, it’s cute and all, but I never imagined I would know exactly what all of my friends’ kids wore to school on their first day. And it never gets old, year after year after year after year…

6.    Your kid’s disgusting rash.

No one is a fan of rashes, I repeat, no one. Maybe you need an outside opinion, but don’t trust the so-called doctor on your Facebook feed to diagnose an allergic reaction on your kid’s arm. Just don’t.

7.    Your noble feelings about your kid.

There are a few strange people on my Facebook feed that make it a point to post how they would literally die for their kids. I honestly don’t get it. I’m sure we would all do the same, but this isn’t the script for a Lifetime movie. Simmer down.

8.    Your kid’s endless ability to do normal kid things.

I love technology. I love recording asinine videos with my iPhone and sending them to my mom or sister. I normally don’t post a 30 second clip to Facebook of my kid walking down the hall eating yogurt because, yet again, no one thinks it’s as cool or as clever as I think it is.

And for those of you who enjoy looking at these sorts of overshares, please see everything done by STFU Parents.

(photo: Getty Images)

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You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • Kheldarson

    I think I’ve only done the last one, but I have a reason! My baby’s the first grandson and my mom and her sisters (and their dad through a sis) love the updates. So they, along with some others who are similarly interested in my kid, are on their own friend list for the updates. That way my son’s privacy is a bit better protected, and I don’t annoy everyone on my friend list ;)

    • Bethany Ramos

      That makes perfect sense – I love yogurt videos myself. :)

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      I did the same thing with pregnancy updates like my ultrasound pictures. After the initial announcement, it felt weird to be spamming my wall with pics of my womb!

    • Kat

      Lists absolve you of being a STFU candidate. Just so long as your list isn’t your whole FB friends list. :)

  • robbie

    This a great perspective and I totallly agree!! Except Jonah’s extreme bathing, of course :)

  • CelesteF

    I set up a separate page for all my baby posts so only the people who want to see that stuff can. Those who don’t want to see it don’t have to

    • Looby

      Same here. I’m on the opposite side of the Atlantic to all my family – and they’re more interested in the Babychog than in me. They want to know about first steps and teeth and all that crap.

    • AlexMMR

      This is exactly why I have a blog. So I can post as many pictures, videos, and overshare as many thoughts as I feel like and I know that only people who are interested are getting stuck reading it (or scrolling past it).

  • Melissa

    Yes, you are dead inside haha :-) But seriously, even though I make fun of every single one of those annoying behaviors you mentioned, I know I’ve been guilty of overposting mundane baby crap too. I guess your own kid doing something precious/crazy (walking down the hall? Eating yogurt??!! Get the camera!) causes the temporary insanity of thinking every one of your acquaintances is dying to know about it.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Me too. :( Example: recent baby bath video haha

    • practicallyperfectineveryway

      No way. The baby bath video is adorable.

    • Bethany Ramos

      You’re too sweet :))))

    • Véronique Houde

      Nah that one was hilarious. Even my boyfriend laughed at that one!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Awwww thanks!!

    • Melissa

      Meh–that video was adorable and all, but would have been much more impressive if he pooped in the bath and you scooped it out with your bare hands, being sure to zoom in on it so we could all take a gander at the size and texture :-)

  • Heather

    The only thing I’d like to point out is that oft-times parents are posting things that seem asinine, unamusing or TMI to you, but you are not their only, or even target, audience with the information. While you might have 15 friends with kids posting the same kind of stuff so you get sick of it, they are also posting for their siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc who actually ARE pleased to get the information. I can see how if you log into facebook and think “this is MY facebook” that you would be able to come up with these lists, but when you realize that there ARE people who DO care about this information it’s not that big of a deal.

    • Kheldarson

      Yes, but FB gives you the ability to limit your audience. I’ve got a coworker who just got pregnant. Well and good. But she’s been posting ultrasound and baby progress updates, and while her family and close friends might enjoy that, it’s TMI for me. So she should choose to limit those posts to the people who are more intimate with her, not the whole world.

    • Heather

      It is a good thing to do, and it might be worth helping her out and instructing her in how to make lists and limit her audience since she’s combining her personal and professional lives into one facebook account, since her posts are really offensive to you. She may not know how or that she is able to easily create a list of people who are not family or actual friends.

      I’ve never really understood, though, the compulsion to be “friends” with every person you know. If you don’t like her enough to enjoy her posts about her growing child, why do you have her as a friend on a social network that by common use definition is for sharing details of a persons life directly with the people who want to know them? I’m not asking to be snarky (well, a little, sorry) but because I really don’t get it. I am picky about my friends list and I don’t have anyone on there that I don’t trust totally and that I would not want to see updates from. And if I find myself thinking “ugh, really” to their posts I reevaluate and unfriend them.

    • Kheldarson

      I have her as a friend for the same reason I keep separate update lists: I talk to different people about different things. My coworkers keep me updated on work stuff (since we all work different shifts. The ladies from church are my choir friends and give good parenting advice. But that doesn’t mean that they need to be inundated with my day to day or that I shouldn’t be FB friends with them because they don’t need to be.

    • AugustW

      I wouldn’t know who wants to see my kid updates. Yes, my out of town family, but my friends also express interest in her development, so what?
      I think as long as it isn’t gross, who cares. You can block people just as easily as people can “list” you.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      You could also ask people. “I’m making a list for baby updates. Like if you’re interested in being included.” It’s really that easy.

    • Jayamama

      Or, you know, you could use your own settings to not get those kinds of posts on your newsfeed. I’ve had to do that with certain people who annoy me but whom I don’t want to defriend.

    • Kat

      There’s two ways that A can post stuff without B seeing. Either A can limit their audience and choose which group sees the post or B can block A. The thing is, if B blocks then they block ALL of A’s posts which can be problematic or just not what they want.

      I’ve blocked some people because 80% of their posts are just not what I want to read (looking at you, SIL, who posts every few hours about how wonderful your amazingsauce hubby is… when I know what your relationship is REALLY like. And now that she’s posting every minute of her pregnancy it’s even worse) but there’s those others who I like having on my feed but insists on 5 zillion pictures of small one spamming my feed and we’re just not close enough for that. So I have a tough choice to make. Lists are wonderful, wonderful things.

    • Alfreda Wells Morrissey

      I love this comment so much!!!

    • clarissa

      Since when do your siblings, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins want to see TMI updates of things like conception and poop? Nobody EVER wants to know those things no matter how close to you they are.

      Or how amused do you think they are simply watching your kid do/say something mundane and typical on camera? If you believe as amused or excited as you are, you are probably mistaken. Though they love you and your child dearly, chances are most of them are just being polite by pretending to be interested in social media posts like that.

    • Heather

      When family across the country get to share in a huge milestone that is potty-training, yeah they enjoy it. A lot of my family have kids of their own so they understand the implications of a kid going poop on the potty, or can laugh at me and commiserate with me about poop in the tub. The update the woman posted about having sex had nothing to do with parenting so I’ve pretty much ignored it as it has no place on a blog that is supposed to be about parent over-shares.

      And for the family who don’t get to see the mundane every day activity, like slurping spaghetti or big bro giving his sissy a hug, I’d think a couple of videos now and then are pretty exciting because they get to see their personalities in action and videos are better than just a picture of a kid with sauce on him or the kids hugging each other. You get the see the clumsy, awkward stumble as the kids both go to hug each other at once and trip and fall laughing together. In a photo all you get to see is the end. If they are just being polite, good for them. I’m excited when I get them from my family.

      Again, I feel like the attitude is that it’s “MINE MINE MINE MY FACEBOOK I ONLY WANT TO SEE WHAT I WANT TO SEE AND IF I DON’T WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU POST THEN YOU SHOULD STOP POSTING IT BECAUSE MINE MINE MINE!” When in reality, it’s just a social network and just like in real life sometimes people talk about things that you don’t think are interesting, but that doesn’t mean that those things aren’t interesting to the people who want to talk about them. You can be rude and make snide remarks about how you don’t like other people’s interactions, or you can suck it up and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your digital identity (not you specifically, Clarissa, this whole paragraph is just generalizations) and move on. The benefit of being in the digital world is that the person won’t ever know if you just scroll right past without giving it a second thought

    • clarissa

      Perhaps I see your point about the mundane every day activities. Close family being far away is hard (I know, I live across the country from everyone in my family), especially grandparents who might no longer have a busy work life of their own and are very interested in their grandchildren will want to see those to witness their childhood at least in part if they can’t be directly involved all the time.

      I just still do not understand/ have never heard someone( no matter the relation) say that they enjoy when someone shares about bodily functions and a so-called “milestone” as potty-training. If it comes up in conversation between other parents, of course that’s normal. Especially if asking for advice. But pictures or disgusting descriptions for sheer need of announcing it to the world is just uncalled for. And your point that these days people are all about “MINE MINE MINE MY FACEBOOK” is exactly what you’re displaying through your comments. You want the right to be able to post the grossest of things for everyone in your life (close family or not) to see whether or not it is wanted or even deemed polite and acceptable. My niece was absolutely adorable as a baby. Seeing photos of her was great, but did I ever want to know about her explosive diaper incidents? Hell no. Thankfully my brother or sister-in-law would never even think of doing something like that.

      We should all strive to keep it classy.

    • Heather

      Well, sure, graphic descriptions are surely over-share and not classy. But the way it was described in the article was far from graphic and that was the basis I was using as the standard. But that has to do with any person, not just parents. I don’t need to know how sweaty and stinky you were after your gym session, either. The difference would be like “Woah Diaper Explosion!” VS “Oh My god, It’s yellow and smells like sulfur and has crept up her back and is touching her hair!” One you might use your imagination and is a little bit more info than typically needed, but no big deal, really. The other is obviously TMI.

      My “MINE MINE MINE” sentiment could definitely be interpreted the way you say, as well. By not being conscious of who is reading your posts, it’s really inconsiderate. I know personally, I only have people in my friends that I would feel comfortable saying the same things to in person, and that if they were for some reason offended they’d either step up and say enough (in person of course) or they’d just scroll past and not think of it.

    • clarissa

      Well generally even if you say things like “whoa diaper explosion” people will still automatically start to picture it in detail anyways and promptly skip their next meal.

      And even if you say you have only the actual genuinely interested people as your friends on facebook, you are the exception to the rule. And really, totally good for you! (I would end up with about two or three friends on facebook if I went and deleted everyone who didn’t care for those kinds of oversharing posts). But that however is not the case for most people and generally more often than not even if someone is careful and adds only real friends and family, there will be at least a few people who get something on their newsfeed they will think is unnecessary or disgusting.

    • AugustW

      I don’t post the gross stuff (I’ll text a mom friend if I need to potty brag) but I do post about milestones often. My daughter is speech delayed, so when she learns a word, yeah we are taping it!

      And in all likelihood most of her cousins will only see her in person every decade or so, so they genuinely enjoy seeing more than photos.

    • val97

      Yeah, my cousin (who is like a sister to me) recently moved across the country. I miss my nephews and love to see her pics. Granted, they are just normal, cute toddler and baby pics. So far nothing gross, just an over abundance of cuteness.

      However, I have some fb friends who I barely know, like people I went to school with over 20 years ago. When they start posting waaay too many photos (even if they are just cute babies), I click the unfollow button. They’re still friends, but they no longer show up in my newsfeed.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it” and/or “unfriend me or block me if it bothers you so much” are cop-outs for over sharing on social media. How vain do you have to be to assume everyone’s default preference is to be interested in the minutiae of you or your child’s life? It’s on you to create your own filter, just like you do in every day life.

    • clarissa

      Completely agree.

    • Kat

      Yes and no … a lot of it’s in the delivery of the information. “Our diaper days are coming to an end!” conveys the information without the lurid mental picture that “Junior just went #2 in the potty four times! Yay organic mommy, it was smooth and easy for him!” does. I’ve never blocked friends who went with the first option – it IS a big relief to not have to deal with diapers anymore. It’s just that I can figure that out without the details.

      Now telling me that you *might* have conceived because you had awesome unprotected sex last night/this morning/as you’re typing? Yeah, no. No one needs to know that. I can figure it out for myself when I see the kid.

      All to say that there’s no moratorium in posting anything about your kid. Just consider your audience and whether what you’re saying is really worth sharing. I have a friend who can, no joke, make a a layover in an airport a fabulous, hysterical, ongoing story. Doesn’t mean I should follow his lead and post every five minutes during my own layover because I’m not him and I know it.

  • G.E. Phillips

    Have to disagree with number 4. Face is basically the next Mitch Hedberg…..hopefully sans the heroin habit. #comedybrag

    • Bethany Ramos

      I LOVE MITCH, so you are excused.

    • LiteBrite

      I’m guilty of #4 too. I try to limit it though to stuff that is funny because the people who know me will get the joke. (Ex: A few weeks ago my son was looking through a book on the Wisconsin Dells and found a picture of a swim-up hot tub bar that he wanted to show me. As he said, “Well, you like hot tubs and you like bars, so I knew you would like this picture!”) But anything that is more of an inside joke in the family or anything that I’d have to explain doesn’t get posted.

      And yeah, I don’t post “poop jokes” (like in the example).

    • G.E. Phillips

      No, I don’t do the poop jokes either. But he’s almost 4 and he comes out with some funny/cute stuff. Like, one time I asked him to walk to the bathroom “like a big boy” and he was like, “No, I want to walk there LIKE A ROBOT!” The trick is timing….I don’t post stuff he says constantly, maybe once or twice a week, and it has to be kind of universally funny. Likewise, I love to see the funny things my friend’s kids are saying or doing, too.

    • LiteBrite

      My son is a funny kid too and says a lot of hilarious things. But, out of all the funny things he says, I post maybe 1/4 of them. Like you said, it has to be universally funny or relevant. Otherwise, what’s the point?

      Some of my friends have taken my cue and are posting funny stuff about their kids, and it’s fun to read that too. :)

    • Bethany Ramos

      Both of your kids sound so cute. Maybe you should just be my Facebook friends Ha.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      Awww man, I’m guilty of number four as well! It has to have made me laugh out loud myself or just be sassy pants as all hell for me to post it, though. And never about poop. Never that.

    • Kay_Sue

      I’d quit doing #4 if people would quit hitting the like button on them, lol. I am very very guilty of that one myself.

    • G.E. Phillips

      YES THIS. I’m just giving the people what they want!!!

  • 007

    I think some of this is so right on. Other parts, well, understandable. But it has to depend on who your FB ‘friends’ are. With the diversity of my FB community, there will always be something I post that will make people yawn, while others will identify immediately. You can’t please everyone all the time.

    The stuff my kids say (that i would ever post on FB) is funny (or at least as funny as anything else I might post that is intended to be funny). I only only post what actually reflects on me or their father. Or it’s a language thing (English-speaking household in Swedish-speaking environment.)

  • Megan Zander

    We’re all guilty of these on occasion. I have a very real fear of sitting down to read STFU parents one day and finding my own post on there.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Me too! There needs to be a word for this.

    • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

      The German language probably already has one.

    • Williwaw

      And it’s probably thirty syllables long.

    • EX


    • TwentiSomething Mom

      Treat yourself and read the site. It is hysterical. While I admit I used to over share my son’s first year, I never shared the ridiculousness that you will see on that site.

    • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ Theresa Edwards

      I feel like everyone gets a year. After that, it’s time to shhhhhhhhhhh.

    • Kay_Sue

      I submitted myself once, but so far B has not used it. It wasn’t terrible, but as I was cleaning up my profile when getting ready to job search, I came across the post and was like, WTF, why did I ever post that?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Haha you are awesome.

    • Megan Zander

      That’s so smart, so you know e sting is coming! But I’m sure she hasn’t used because it wasn’t bad.

  • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

    The last one doesn’t annoy me too much until it’s taken to a level of extreme earnest hyperbole. “Look at the baby run!” = cool. “Look at the baby run! I’m going to be so proud to watch him in the Olympics someday ;__;” = shut uuuup.

  • Williwaw

    Where did that video clip of the woman squirting water out of her eye sockets come from? Because that is weird.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    I’ve totally posted pictures of my baby boy just being himself. He’s not good at much else these days, being a baby and all. Though, I recently posted a video of him playing with his first balloon. To be fair, he was also wearing a little vest, tie and a fedora. EVERYONE NEEDED TO SEE IT! Like, everyone. We can all be “that” mom. I’ve also been that cat owner =O

    • val97

      I think I post more pictures of my pets than my kids.

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    While I agree some things are too much like stats (and pics ughhh) about poop and rashes, I’d rather see a flood of cute baby pics on my newsfeed than another gym picture. Do I need to see every sit up you do and how much you squat at the gym?

    • SarahJesness


    • Kat

      Can we just agree to keep BOTH at a minimum on FB?

  • practicallyperfectineveryway

    I love seeing people’s baby pictures on my newsfeed, but I really think there should be a limit on ultrasound photos. One is okay, and I know it’s exciting for the parents, but I’m friends with a few people who post these photos ALL the time. As far as I’m concerned they could be the same photo.

    • Kat

      So yes. I’ve seen TWO ultrasound pictures that stand out – one really and truly looked like a cutie doll and the other … had his father’s nose. Even at an early stage. The rest can all be summed up in “lumpy blob that really prefers being left alone to develop.”

  • kay

    My brother hates babies. And hates people posting too much about their babies on facebook. I ask him if I’ve been posting a lot if it’s ok to post. Because when he’s all “um she’s wearing a tiny graduation hat, of course it’s ok!” I know it really is. And when he’s all “um… welll….” I know I shouldn’t.

    And I never post about her poop. Because no one wants to read that.

  • kay

    Oh but the one thing I learned is totally ok to post? Kids in Halloween costumes. Post Halloween there were so many friends without kids posting about how “so, I normally could give a shit about your kids, but put them in dumb costumes and they’re AMAZING! Why don’t you people do this more?”

    • Bethany Ramos


  • Kresaera

    I just realized that I am one of ‘those’ moms… please excuse me while I go burn my Facebook page…

  • Véronique Houde

    I have to admit that sometimes I act as the overshare police with my sister. Since I have a lot of friends and coworkers who DON’T have kids, I’m very sensitive of sharing TOO MUCH on my facebook page about my daughter… If we go out someplace fun and my kid does something cute, I’ll post maybe one or two pictures, and a video if it’s worth it, and always make sure it’s like max 1 minute long.

    If you post 15 pictures of your outing, or list all of the semi-understandable words that you think your daughter is saying (*cough* love you sis*), I’ll probably tell you that it’s overshare ;). Hopefully my sister doesn’t get too offended lol. She could just tell me to fuck off. And yes, she has a private group for her friends, sometimes, she just posts outside of it too.

  • Kay_Sue

    Facebook lists for the win. They keep me out of a heap of trouble. They aren’t difficult to set up, you can flip to one right at the bottom of your post, and they are for more than just segregating kid-stuff. I love my “over 18″ list, my “work-safe” list, my “restricted” list…

    People forget that Facebook is a *social* network. It’s about social interactions, and like any interaction, you have to be aware of the sender of the message (you) but also the receiver of the message. That’s how communication works. It’s also about common courtesy–I have friends from work on my page. I would never have discussed the grosser aspects of parenting with them, nor would I overwhelm them with cute pictures and such of my kids, nor would I share more than the occasional anecdote. But I still enjoy interacting and keeping in touch with them, and to be honest? Totally love having some areas of my FB that are “adults-only”.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      A million times yes to this.

    • Kay_Sue

      They are so useful, aren’t they? There are always friends that I have different comfort levels with. I ran across a great article on Cracked that was a how-to guide for men about getting nooky–no way did I want my cousins between the ages of 13 and 17 to read it, and NO WAY IN HELL did I want my grandmothers to read it, but it was hilarious and I shared it my Over 18 list that I knew wouldn’t mind and would probably enjoy it to boot. They did, many fun discussions were had out, and I was not inconvenienced in the slightest. *sighs*

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      Exactly. And when you don’t have a list, you can select the individuals you want to see the post and Facebook hides it from everyone else.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Why are you so smart? ;)

    • Kay_Sue

      I’m just a good bullshitter with some common sense mixed in. ;)

  • CandaceB

    Between reading STFU parents and reading posts from a friend who could land on STFU with some regularity, I learned that no one likes an over-sharer. I am mostly guilty of #8 with some #4 sprinkled in from time to time but, I try to make sure that my child said something “Jimmy Fallon” funny before sharing. My friend, on the other hand, once shared that she cried with warm fuzzy supermom intensity because she realized her daughter was growing up when she had to start folding her daughter’s pants to make them it in the drawer. I really questioned our friendship that day. hehe.

  • guest

    I usually confine my childbragging, mundane details, etc. to facebook messages, since some of the family needs to know things, while the rest of the family only politely cares….and casual friends don’t care at all. I mean, when my child scores well on tests, my first instinct is to go on fb. I stifle that instinct, since bragging on the facebook is pretty gross behavior.

    With small ones, we tend to have blogs where baby updates can be confined to one location — some of family lives overseas, so the blog is very helpful and allows the posting of mundane details that are important to family members.

  • CMJ

    I’ve seen entire albums dedicated to a child’s rash.

  • EX

    There are so many things wrong with #3:
    1. The cutesy nickname for the kid
    2. Asking questions and answering them herself
    3. Talking about herself in the 3rd person
    4. Calling herself “mama”
    5. Using the “joys of motherhood cliche”
    6. Posting about poop in the first place
    7. Describing the color, consistency and number of aforementioned poop and
    last but not least 8. Picking up poop with her bare hands (whhhhhyyyyyyyy?)

    • waffre

      Yeah, it was like STFUp bingo!

  • CrazyLogic

    The only kid quotes I’ll tolerate are the ones where the sass is dripping from them. Sassy kids are amusing to me.

  • Gretta

    I didn’t realize that my Facebook page was supposed to amuse you. I pretty much thought Facebook was where you post things that you are doing which for Moms is being with their kids. Don’t like it? Hide my page.

    Just like I did for every single person who posts how far they ran that day and the route they ran! OMG. Who even thought that was interesting? Like anyone cares.

  • Unforgettable

    wait, 8 or 10?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Thanks! We will fix :)

  • Teleute

    RE: #6

    • Bethany Ramos

      SHUT UP

    • Kay_Sue

      I laughed. I laughed so hard. I need to find this picture to use in parenting groups when someone crowdsources for medical information.

    • Scarlet

      HAHAHAHA Chestburster is awesome! I would like to be friends with Herman!

  • SA

    Why would I want everyone in my news feed to know that I had just fished poop out of the tub with my bare hands? It was shameful enough that I had to do it in the first place.

  • AP

    A bunch of these are from the fake STFUParents some author fabricated for an article on MSN living. If I recall, B had some intellectual property Words with them over it. Not sure if it’s appropriate to give them attention here.

  • K Jones

    I have no problem sharing the most graphic details of my daughter’s delivery. Although, it was such an amazing time, some parts are a little fuzzy. First, I can’t remember if she was delivered to me in a minivan or a sedan, but it was definitely white with the county DSS logo on the side. The first feeding was easy because we found that we both had a preference for healthy organic foods. Sleeping was simple, although she was less than happy with my choice of room decor. Guess she isn’t the Laura Ashley fanatic that I am. (But that was quickly solved with a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond.) Still, even though becoming a mother for the first time was a dream come true for me, I don’t remember feeling the need to post any of this on FB. ;-)

    • Kat

      I was so confused at first, picturing you giving birth in a white car and then wondering what opinions a newborn had about decor. And then it clicked and I’m awash with warm fuzzies. :) Gotta say, that’s a delivery story I’d gladly read on my feed.

  • Teleute

    I’m sick to death of people whining on Facebook about their imaginary medical problems. Anyone who is in legitimate pain or is truly suffering from the worst case of bronchitis the world has ever seen has far greater concerns than constantly updating their Facebook friends with details of their suffering.

    If you’re going in for surgery tomorrow, I’ll wish you luck and a speedy recovery. If you’re going to give me a list of your symptoms every six minutes, I’m gong to unfriend you — or at least unsubscribe from your updates.

  • Dramatic Anti-Climax

    I have learned so much from STFUParents. Also, haven’t you heard of the TV show “My Life is a Lifetime Movie?” Maybe the parents think that Lifetime uses Facebook as it’s screening/auditions.

  • Chi-town Person

    7 and 8 are the best.

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