• Thu, Jan 30 - 1:30 pm ET

STFU Parents: What Mothers Are Worth According To Facebook

Salary.com recently revealed its annual “mom reports,” which helpfully break down what stay-at-home moms and working moms are “worth” in the United States. The interesting thing about these reports is the way that emotional value gets implicitly tacked on to help back up the (fake) financial assessments. This is kind of like saying, “Sure, licensed therapists are great and all, but who can help you get over a crushing break-up like your very own mom?” It’s no secret that mothers are undervalued., but considering the real issues that exist in this country — a broken health care system, lack of universal daycare, no paid parental leave in the workplace — these infographics increasingly come across as jokes. They also come across as saying, “Hey moms, you might only get paid in hugs and kisses, but look at all of this stuff that you excel at! You’re a computer operator, a CEO, a facilities manager! You ROCK!”

Rather than focus on, say, the amount of societal changes that could be made if the U.S.’s policies changed, the charts serve as a consolation prize to “confirm mothers’ suspicions” that they’re really worth more financially than the (no pay) credit they’re given. The charts are the infographic version of a pat on the back, and they’re dumb. However, for every mom out there who’s like, “Haha, these charts assert that I’m a nurse, a therapist, a maid, a police officer, and an I.T. specialist?!?!”, there’s another mom who fully believes the hype. It seems that some women just want to drink the Kool-Aid — and, OMG, moms make THE BEST Kool-Aid, they’re like Kool-Aid Chefs, seriously — and it’s either because they truly feel that undervalued, which is certainly possible, or because they feel that awesome about their mad mommy skillz. 

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  • Surly Canuck

    When my SIL was on mat leave, she posted a lot of these updates. Also a lot of the shame-y “real moms have puke in their hair and don’t have fun” posts. Now that she’s back a work and her husband is the SAHP, I get lots of nephew doing activities pictures (making cardboard swords, “helping” dad shovel, etc). It’s been a wonderful change.

  • Teleute

    “Being a sick mom just means you’re that much closer to your bed.”

    Indeed!

  • Horrid Baby Names

    All I got out of this was “I’m a mom. Feel sorry for me. Wah.”

  • lala

    I think it is easier to say which role (SAHM vs Working Moms) when you aren’t doing the one. Of course SAHM will say Working Moms have it easier and vice versa. You don’t truly know until you have tried on the other role for a good length of time (not just a few days).

    I am not a fan of this article about the value of a SAHM … I personally think the role is invaluable. But I am lucky enough to be able to do it… but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t sometimes shitty days or weeks that occur. Sometimes I feel as if sahm’s complain it is as if we are ungrateful.

    One other thing about that original article these STFU’s is based on that I don’t understand is working moms saying that then they deserve that full salary of a SAHM too. While I do think they should get a percentage if this was rational.. why would they get the whole salary when part of the day they are at their jobs. I understand you don’t cease being a mom when you are at work but you are not actively doing the caretaking during those hours (i.e. diaper changes, bottle feeding, etc). Am I the only one who feels this way?

  • karrinmurphy

    My biggest problem with these is that they all refer to SAHMs. I work. I also feed, clothe, shelter, bathe, love, nurture, and discipline my children. That’s life. Do working parents not have to do all of the same things SAHMs do? Because if that’s the case, I missed the memo. I don’t get why people need some sort of group validation because they are functional adults. I mean, yay for you, some people aren’t, but c’mon. Get over yourself.

  • CpaCat

    It’s too bad that these mom/therapists are the #1 reason their kids will need real therapists.

  • Liberty

    I’m a teacher & sometime in the last year there was a teacher appreciation day (or something) & I was so peeved when one of my oldest friends wrote “It’s teacher appreciation day and since I teach my kids things all the time happy teacher appreciation day to me!” *Teaching* your children how to tie their shoes, have manners, clean up their bedrooms, or even read doesn’t make you a teacher. It makes you a parent. If it does make you a teacher than actually being a teacher means you should be able to call yourself a parent. That’s stupid logic and I really wanted to punch her in the face & say “should your kids give me presents for Mother’s Day, then?”

  • LuckyLA

    This is so extreme! People are either completely demeaning and condescending or the mothers are self congratulatory and exaggerate. Here’s the deal..it all depends what profession comparable to parenting. It’s all a gray area..there’s lazy stay at home moms as there are employees..I think the frustration stems from a feeling of inadequacy and not receiving the recognition that a stay at home parent deserves. On the other hand, those that work and parent are resentful as hell and consider themselves superior to stay at home parents. It’s all a mix of insecurity, jealousy, arrogance and resentment. We should try to respect each other regardless of employment status.

  • Lee

    Omfg. Get Amber a crowbar and pry her off her cross. Gag

  • Psych Student

    I’m really bothered by the woman bitching about what “guys” don’t know! There are plenty of men who are great parents and even more who understand how hard it is to be a parent.

  • Henry

    The mother’s who complain the most about how hard they have it, are usually the same mother’s who justify paying babysitters as little as they can get away with because ‘all they’re doing is sitting around, watching movies.’ It only seems to count as hard work when THEY’RE doing it.

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  • Katie Delia

    “Teaching dozens of other people’s children and then coming home to parent your own.”

    This. THIS. What do SAHMs think working moms do when they get home? They do the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, shopping, caring for kids, ETC, that SAHMs do with a lot more time to do it. Hopefully their partner does things too, but still!

    • Elizabeth Watson

      I’m not saying SAHM’s don’t do anything all day. Absolutely the opposite. I’m just saying that working moms do the SAHM’s job as our leisure time from our day jobs…