I’m a snarky parenting blogger, so I’m not really one to talk… But in the spirit of hypocrisy, I figure, why not? I’m sure you’ve all seen these baby onesies before—either on Pinterest, on your Facebook newsfeed, or in a hip parenting boutique.

These irreverent baby onesies are marketed to the cool parent with a cool baby, i.e. the hipster baby that is born with a skinny tie and pencil mustache. Though off-color onesies like this are supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, some of them bug me. They’re a little over-the-top, and they focus way too much on the baby cool factor.

While it may be funny to put your baby in a jokey onesie and parade them about the town, these snarky onesies take it a little too far:

1. I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me

baby1

cafepress.com

Cute or rude—I can’t decide.

2. My Mom Thinks She’s In Charge…

baby2

cafepress.com

Mommy is an idiot, says the Almighty Baby. We get it, we get it.

3. My Aunt Jenny Is Smart, Funny, Sexy

baby3

etsy.com

Maybe Aunt Jenny should grow some balls and wear this T-shirt herself. #babyonesiehumblebrag

4. BILF

baby4

babble.com

This one made me do a double take. But considering the MILF, please, for the love of God, don’t ever call your baby a BILF. Just, no.

5. I’m This Many

tshirthell.com

tshirthell.com

A baby giving the middle finger is always funny. Right…? Right…?

6. My Mom Is Hotter Than Your Mom

baby6

thisnext.com

Please do not ever take your baby to the playground wearing this.

7. Proof That My Dad Sucks At Pulling Out

baby7

polyvore.com

This got a chuckle out of me, but I don’t see it making an appearance in real life, except as the gaggiest of gag gifts. Barf.

8. Cuter Than Baby Jesus

tshirthell.com

tshirthell.com

Slap this onesie on your baby and take them to Vacation Bible School to see the hilarious pearl-clutching that will ensue.

9. What Baby Wants, Baby Gets!

baby8

pottytrainingconcepts.com

This onesie is merely an advertisement that you are raising a monster. Congratulations.

10. Titties, Get Ready For Action!

etsy.com

etsy.com

My children will never use “titties” and “action” in reference to me. Ever, ever, ever, ever. EVER.