UPDATE: I was unaware that a similar article appeared in another news source online, as pointed out by our reader Hannah. The policy of Mommyish is that we only accept previously unpublished work, and had I know the articles were so similar I wouldn’t have published this. Thank you, E
My son Holt, at 19 months now, is a seriously gorgeous baby. I can’t walk anywhere with him, without people wanting to touch him or comment on how cute he is or make him high five them. Every parent, of course, believes that their own baby is cute and gorgeous and from a parent’s perspective, they are.
I can’t look at my son, completely objectively, when it comes to his looks. Why? Because, even after 19, months the little dude looks absolutely nothing like me. When I say, “Nothing like me,” I really mean, he looks NOTHING like me. I have dark hair, olive skin and green eyes. My daughter looks almost exactly like me, except she has brown eyes, but the shape of our eyes, face, lips, hair color and skin tone is almost identical, and has been since she was born.
But my son however? He takes after his father when it comes to looks. My son has ocean blue eyes, blond hair that too many people to count have said they would “pay” to have the same hair color, and he’s very light skinned, the type of skin that he will need 50 sun block for the rest of his life.
Oh how many times have I heard, “He looks so much like his father! It’s uncanny!” Or, “No doubt who the father is.” And, “Obviously, he’s isn’t the mailman’s!
I’ve also heard, too many times to count, “He looks nothing like you!” Duh.
And, often when I carry him, I do get looks from strangers that suggest, I think, that they are wondering, “How are those two related?” In fact, I’ve been asked, even though I’m pushing him in his stroller, and I’m singing to him, if he IS my son.
Holt and I do not resemble each other at all. He looks like I could have adopted him or I am his babysitter or nanny. Of course I love him to bits, but for some reason, I just want him to have at least one of my features.
For the first year of his life, I thought, “Well, he’ll change. He has to look a little like me at some point.” But now I believe that he’s never going to look like me at all. Not even a little bit. Ever. It is super nice to hear, “You have the cutest baby in the world,” and, “What stunning blue eyes he has,” and, “Oh look how long his lashes are!” The compliments make me happy, but not joyous, like how I can see the joy and pride on my fiancé’s face when people say, “He looks exactly like you!” or the pride I feel when people tell me my daughter is my mini-me.
Is it that I’m feeling left out? Or is it that I carried the little guy for nine months and shouldn’t he have at least the shape of my eyes or even ears, since he has some (I know) of my genes? He also has a dimple in his chin and one on his cheek. I don’t have any dimples (unless you include the ones on my ass, which I think are called ‘cellulite’ rather than “dimples.”)
So, yes, I admit that I am a little jealous that, looks wise, he takes entirely after his father. And if you ever wondered if “blondes have more fun,” while I can’t exactly answer as a brunette, but I can say that blond/blue eyed babies get a heck of a lot more attention than brown haired/brown eyed babies. This may be a sweeping generalization, but it’s been my experience with my children.
My daughter never received as much attention or compliments as my son does, while she was a baby. When we vacation in Mexico, I can’t push the stroller with Holt for more than thirty seconds before strangers are rubbing his hair (Hate that!) or looking at his eyes and saying how amazing they are.
Our house manager in Mexico actually warned me about kidnappers when it came to my son and that I should always keep a close eye on him. “He’s too cute,” she told me, freaking me out. “People would want him.” It was of the strangest and disturbing compliments I have ever heard, yes, but I understand it and I do keep a close eye on him at all times, as I do my daughter.
So I have one child who looks exactly like me and one son who looks nothing like me (or my daughter.) On the positive side, when I look at Holt, I see only his father, and that warms my heart. But on the negative, Holt made me gain almost 70 pounds and I had to have my stomach cut open because of him. Shouldn’t I at least get a baby after all that who shares some feature – anything – of mine?
My fiancé (and everyone in my family) says he has my personality at least. I’m very laid back and so is he. But I’m also like a microwave (I get heated very fast, but then cool down very fast.) He’s also very stubborn. So, in trying to make me feel better by telling me he has my personality isn’t exactly a compliment.
But, I suppose, having a mini-me daughter, makes up for a son that couldn’t look more unlike me. But I still can’t help but wonder, and want him to at least have one fucking feature of mine, even if it is just his toes.
(Image: getty images)