showerWhen you’re pregnant, there are hundreds of ways you can milk the situation, pun intended. Yes, I’m talking about baby showers and so much more. I always thought a baby shower was a baby shower was a baby shower—until I read on a previous Mommyish thread about the many different pregnancy celebrations that are popping up on Birth Boards.

If you wanted to be obnoxious and make all your friends hate you before you bring a baby into the world, you could throw eight different parties to commemorate each second you spend creating life:

1.    Pee Stick Party

I don’t know if this is a real thing or if it’s just a frightening phenomenon on BabyCenter Birth Boards. Either way, pee and parties don’t mix, unless it’s a blackout drunk 21st birthday celebration.

2.    Gender Reveal Party

Gender reveal parties are so hot right now. On the one hand, I think it’s cute that parents are patient enough to wait to find out the gender as they cut the surprise cake at the party. On the other hand, this seems like one more excuse to have a baby shower, and it’s likely to breed resentment.

3.    Baby Shower For Each Side Of The Family

Can you say “gift hog”? Figure out a way to bring families together for one special occasion or just send gifts. No need to have multiple showers month after month.

4.    Beer And Diaper Party

I think a Beer and Diaper Party is an awesome idea to keep dads entertained during the baby shower main event. BUT if this is thrown as a secondary co-ed shower, I can see the natives getting restless.

5.    Second Baby Shower

I wrote a recent post about throwing a second baby shower, or a “sprinkle” as it is also called. This is one event I don’t have any beef with if someone else wants to throw it for the expecting mom. Now I’ve learned that it’s best to keep a second shower simple and make gifts optional if you want anyone to attend.

6.    Grandma Shower

Ugh, grandma showers are a real thing, and they are also REAL annoying. A shower that puts the spotlight on the grandma seems overbearing, impractical, and rude. If my mom or MIL tried to pull that shit, it would have taken my pregnancy rage to a whole new level.

7.    New Baby Meal Train

Not technically a party, but I’ve seen plenty of new parents post a meal calendar that friends and family can use to “bless” them when they visit after the new baby is born. We had friends bring us food after having a baby, and I loved them so much for it. But I wouldn’t have forced them to sign up—that’s the difference.

8.    Wash Your Hands And Meet My Baby Party

This may not be a real thing, but most parents expect you to come over and ooh and ahh over their puffy little newborn—after washing your hands Grey’s Anatomy-style. Dropping by to visit friends with a new baby is one thing and is much appreciated. Expecting friends to drop everything and come to yet another baby-related welcome soirée is pushing it.

(photo: Getty Images)