• Tue, Jan 28 - 5:00 pm ET

‘WerePups’ Will Haunt Your Dreams And Probably Make Your Child Cry

Why buy a Cabbage Patch Kid when you can scare the crap out of your child with a very life-like baby werewolf in diapers? I’ve seen the future – and it’s filled with WerePups.

I was watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night, because I have no shame. One of the housewives is a child star – Kim Richards from Escape From Witch Mountain. On last night’s episode, she appeared at a convention of child stars that made me very sad, because Jimmy McNichol showed up looking like death warmed over. I digress.

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I was forced to do a double-take because one of her fans was holding the hairiest baby I’d ever seen. This thing was that lifelike. It had those weird doll eyes that stare into your soul. It was not a baby – it was a werewolf. A werewolf baby. A quick investigation on Google brought me to the Facebook page of WerePups.

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Upon further investigation, I realized that these things may not be for children at all. It seems adults like to “adopt” these, carry them around like babies, and do really elaborate photo shoots. WerePups is actually an “adoption agency for orphaned Lycanthropes.” A lycanthrope is a werewolf. You learn something new every day.

Each year, hundreds of Lycanthropes are slain by the hands of “Werewolf Hunters.” Many of these powerful creatures leave behind a den containing helpless offspring, and these beautiful babies are sentenced to perish, alone and starving.

Here at WerePups, we recognize the innocence of the young Lycanthrope, and we believe that every creature great and small deserves a chance at life.

A custom WerePup will run you $500. It’s an 18-inch doll with a solid dragonskin silicone head, arms and legs on a weighted cloth body. It is really life-like. It’s described on the site as having a “realistic newborn feel.” You can customize it by choosing “head sculpt, skin tone, fur color/thickness/texture/markings, eye color, gender, feet (open toes or curled), nose, pads, and claw color, birthmarks, freckles or any skin markings.”

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Adults who collect doll-babies have always kind of freaked me out. These things are actually pretty cute, but the cuteness is trumped by the fact that people treat these as actual babies. I find that unsettling.

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When I look at something and can’t decide if it’s cute, or it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen – I have to default to the latter.

Sorry, WerePups.

(photos: Facebook)

 

 

Share This Post:
  • RayneofCastamere

    I…

    I think they’re kind of cute…

    *hides in shame*

    • Kay_Sue

      They are adorable!!!! I want one.

    • RayneofCastamere

      If they were $20 instead of $500 I’d probably get one.

      $500 is way too much.

    • Kay_Sue

      I know. I’d have to sell an actual child, I think.

      Wait a minute…

    • Loki

      Considering each individual hair is hand attached, everything is hand made and takes around 3 weeks, $500 is way cheap.

  • Kay_Sue

    These are adorable, but my lord, could the mythology get any darker or more morbid? Sheesh.

    “Each year, hundreds of Lycanthropes are slain by the hands of “Werewolf Hunters.” Many of these powerful creatures leave behind a den containing helpless offspring, and these beautiful babies are sentenced to perish, alone and starving.” <—That line is so creepy.

    • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ Theresa Edwards

      Emotional investment. It’s key to hawking nightmare fuel.

  • candyvines

    When you need to trick your Furry lover into child support . . . WerePups.

    • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ Theresa Edwards

      I don’t…I can’t…I’m going away now.

  • cabecb

    I think these things are so cute. Better than those real baby dolls.

  • pixie

    The second one kinda looks like Chewbacca.
    And I do agree that they are cute, though I, too, find it a little creepy when otherwise “normal” adults treat dolls like actual babies. It’d be cool to have on a shelf, but maybe not to carry around.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      It might be cute to have on your shelf maybe, if it’s like, under $20. I must be poor, but $500 can buy me so much more worthwhile shit, you know?

    • pixie

      Well, yes. I also wouldn’t (couldn’t) pay $500 for it. Maybe if I was ridiculously rich and had the money to burn, I would have one on my shelf…but otherwise $500 would be way more use to me in other ways. Like going towards my rent. And if I couldn’t pay rent, I wouldn’t have a shelf to put it in in the event that I did become super rich…

  • Rachel Sea

    I think they’re cute, but grown-ass adults who buy dolls and treat them like real babies creep me right the fuck out.

    • Natasha B

      Yes. Yes. I once stumbled upon a whole Instagram community of said doll ‘parents’ and posing with their ‘babies’, discussing where to buy diapers, car seats, ‘baby’ sleeping through the night. I still haven’t recovered.

  • Natasha B

    Wait, aren’t the Lycans the werewolves from the whole Underworld movies? So is this marketed towards Underworld fans?

    • Pumplestilskin

      I think, and I could be wrong, that lycanthropes are werewolves and the Lycans from the Underworld movies were supposed to be a few steps up in their evolutionary chain. Don’t ask me why I think I know this, I’ve never seen any of the Underworld movies but I’m pretty sure I heard werewolves called lycanthropes on Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something and doesn’t that predate those movies?

    • SarahJesness

      Yep, “lycanthrope” is an older term.

    • Natasha B

      Ah ok, that makes sense. Hubs is an Underworld fan, and I’ve sat through a few with him, so the word was familiar just not sure exactly who/what it applied to.

  • DeanaCal

    Okay but we’re all missing the most important point – what’s happening with Jimmy McNichol?

    • elle

      My mom’s NGO actually tried to solicit money from him because he is a huge philanthropist and animal/environmental activist now who lives just a state over from us…..hopefully that’s all he is up to and not drugs or anything else. I’m going go have to text her to see if she thought Jimmy was on anything-but this was a few years ago.

  • Elisa Probert

    I kinda love these. I make similar dolls but mine aren’t as nice and I certainly don’t have the clout in the doll collecting world to ask $500!!! So now you all have to look at my dollies that are JUST dolls, if I take them anywhere they’re shoved in a bag. LOL

    This is one I did while drugged out of my mind, recovering from surgery back in September. I wanted to paint and root a baby but I didn’t want to be stuck with “human” colors. LOL So I got an Orangutan kit! She needs a name…had I gotten a chimp instead, she’d be Jane. But she’s clearly not a Jane.
    https://scontent-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/602947_635159979857782_8112680_n.jpg

    Monkey baby and Corey. Corey’s skintone is modeled after photos of me as a baby, hair and eye colors based on my sisters’. The kit really looks just like my cousins when they were babies, so Corey is sort of a family doll.
    https://scontent-b-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t31/1277604_634719606568486_1420379633_o.jpg

    And my latest and my first in one picture. The blonde is impossible to get goo pictures of, he looks lovely in person! The flash washes him out. The brunette was my first doll-painting experiment, old techniques and he’s not wearing very well. Couple more years and he’s toast. Blondie has no name either.

    https://scontent-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t31/1273172_633531690020611_1237704320_o.jpg

    I can’t find my pictures of my Hellboy baby or I’d post them, too. Or my vampire baby, for that matter. Who ate my photo albums???

    • Elisa Probert

      Aaaand, the only baby I take out in public for reals!

      https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1554621_700781993295580_630641719_n.jpg

      Pumpkin is a ChiWhatsIt. Or a WiChacha. Chihuahua, min-pin, and God-only-knows what else. Unlike the dolls, she actually benefits from going out. Being cooed over and petted by strangers helps with her shyness, which, since she’d never been petted before I caught her at 10 weeks old, is pretty bad. Smartest puppy I’ve ever had and much cuter than any doll!

  • Shelly Lloyd

    If you think WerePups are weird, prepare yourself for WereBee pOrn: http://www.amazon.com/-%C2%A0Seduced-WEREBEES-paranormal-shapeshifters-romance-ebook/dp/B00FP7OIMO/

  • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

    How much are you loving AHS: Coven’s Spaulding? Oh my god, the creepy.

    • Kay_Sue

      Such a weird, weird man. And (SPOILER ALERT IF YOU AREN’T KEEPING UP) being dead hasn’t helped much.

    • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

      Omfg I’m not ready for tonight btw. And I won’t get to watch it until I pirate it tomorrow and I just can’t cope

    • Kay_Sue

      We’re in the same boat and it is kiiiiiilllllliiing me. I need to know who the Supreme is.

      The worst part is following on Twitter–they keep teasing things and I am like I CAN’T PLEASE STOP! Blah.

    • Elisa Probert

      I don’t think they have a new Supreme! I did think it was Zoe, still kinda do, but I think it’s going to be a tie…and I kinda hope Madison dies and stays dead this time. Bitch is freakin’ annoying!

    • Kay_Sue

      I was thinking Zoe in the beginning also. I’m wondering if there won’t be one either–they’re under so much strain that they’ve all developed rapidly, it would make sense. Not to mention that the current (former?) Supreme kind of caused a good deal of the mess by failing to properly fill the roll, so maybe having more than one would balance that out in the future. Kind of an evolution of the concept, maybe? I don’t know, but I am excited to see it.

      I will be crossing my fingers on the Madison thing. She gets on my nerves too.

    • Elisa Probert

      Okay, did not see that coming…weird for me, I can usually spot a plot twist a mile away! *Bites fingers so she won’t spoil it for Hana*

    • Kay_Sue

      We are loading it up on iTunes after the kids are down tonight. I can’t wait.