If I Throw A Sucky Baby Shower, I’ll Never Be Able To Show My Face Again

scaredThis is no small task, but I need to throw the best baby shower known to man. A close friend of mine is due in May with her second baby. She was a little skittish about the idea of having a second baby shower, but I wanted to do something nice for her, so I basically forced her into it.

The thing is I have really big shoes to fill. Another good friend threw a baby shower for me with my first son. It was around the holidays in December since I was due in January, so we made it a Christmas theme. I also debriefed her about my irreverent attitude toward baby showers— i.e., I normally hate them.

I said absolutely no games (besides a drinking game in baby bottles and bobbing for apples) and lots of booze so that the guests would actually be happy and not bored. It was also a coed shower because I find girl-only showers a little blah, but that’s just me.

Anyway, my good friend went all out because she is Martha Stewart in disguise. She really, really likes party planning, and she ordered me this epic baby shower cake:

shower

When this friend ever gets pregnant, I feel like I need to throw her a parade or name a star after her or something to pay her back for the awesome party she threw me.

But back to my currently pregnant friend. I want to throw her an amazing baby shower because A) I like her a lot and B) I feel like I truly didn’t grasp how important baby showers can be to pregnant women until I had my own kids.

In retrospect, I threw a pretty lame baby shower for a pregnant friend about six years ago, far before I had kids. When I think back on how lackluster it was, I get pretty embarrassed. Now I understand just how celebratory a shower can be. Since I’m done having kids, I get even more excited in the planning process because BABIES! (Also, she’s having a boy!)

So, I am sending out an SOS. Please HALP. If you have any amazing baby shower tricks up your sleeve, I must know them so that I can plan the best baby shower the world has ever seen. No pressure.

(photo: Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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    • JulySheWillFly

      Don’t do it! No one likes second baby showers and your friend doesn’t even want it! I got roped into a big wedding and bridal shower and hated it. I put my foot down about a baby shower and it was such a relief. If your friend says, “No shower,” give her the amazing gift of no shower.

      • Bethany Ramos

        But I think she kind of wants it and is playing coy! Haha that sounds terribly dirty… Her first shower was only so-so.

      • Natasha B

        Throw it for her! She will love it! I didn’t really have a shower with my first, so with my second my sisters & bestie got together and threw me an awesome shower/brunch. It made me feel super special :) They didn’t do that stupid clothespin/say baby game thank gawd. They did do a cool ‘price is right’ game, with a bunch of baby essentials (Lanisoh, Aveeno stuff, diaper cream, socks, hats, etc) tacked to a board and you had to match prices-which was pretty fun. They also hosted a drawing, if you brought a package of diapers/wipes, you got your name in for a $25 Starbucks and $25 Target card, so that was pretty sweet.
        If you think she feels weird about asking for gifts, ask everyone to bring a copy of their fav childhood book or something similar.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Great idea – thanks!

      • JLH1986

        If you do co-ed shower, have the men drink beer from bottles, that was fun to watch.

      • Bethany Ramos

        We did that at my shower – highly recommended!

      • Megan Zander

        What a fun game! I want to play!

    • Véronique Houde

      I would be more into a celebratory dinner for a second baby instead of a shower. She doesn’t need the gifts – and asking for them the second time around is a bit tacky. Have a nice cocktail or dinner party with a cute baby theme, an awesome cake, no games and insist on everyone wearing awesome shoes!

      • Guest

        I’d say lots of snacks, booze, and a delicious dinner. Be sure to put something about gifts no being required. I’m sure some people will still bring them but then hopefully they won’t be obliged. Make it more about celebration than shower.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I was going to say the same thing. A celebration, not a shower.

      • Alexandra

        I “third” this….people will still bring cutesy little baby gifts, don’t worry, and terming it a “celebration” instead of shower will be nice. If she does need certain things, due to having a different-sexed baby, then you can tell really close friends/family about that off the record to help her out. But good suggestions – booze and food and cake!

    • Alex

      “She was a little skittish about the idea of having a second baby shower, but I wanted to do something nice for her, so I basically forced her into it.”

      Stop right there. Rewind.

      This whole article reads as though the baby shower will be about YOU rather than, I don’t fucking know, your pregnant friend. You feel that the first baby shower you threw was lame and that your baby shower was awesome; I get it, you’re trying to make it up to your past self and to the friend who you feel received your lame party.

      You want to do something nice for her? Ditch the party and give her a booklet of babysitting coupons she can redeem with you no questions asked.

      • Emily

        I’m pregnant and being forced into a shower. I’m not thrilled. It isnt until I’m 37 weeks pregnant and my mom is insisting i don’t buy ANYTHING for the baby, but where does that leave me when the five people coming dont get me everything I need and I have to waddle my ass down to the baby store and buy a ton of stuff in a rush?

        I think the point I’m trying to make is if you’re insisting on throwing a shower mom doesn’t want, it isnt really about her. And for the love of god don’t wait until he last minute – shes going to have to do baby shopping, at least give her enough time to have fun and maybe a bit of energy when she goes!

    • Megan Zander

      You know your friend, if you think she will enjoy it, then go for it, but I agree with the comments to let guests know it’s not a traditional shower. I’ve heard of second baby parties being called ” a sprinkle”. Personally that reminds me of R Kelly, but it gets the ” no huge gifts” message across.

      • Bethany Ramos

        R KELLY BABY SHOWER – OKAY! Yeah, I already told her we can say “no gifts” on the invite or something similar, and people will probably bring a few things anyway, as someone mentioned above.

      • Candace

        He he he…great minds think alike! We were posting this idea simultaneously! :)

      • Alexandra

        HAHA megan I LOLd thinking of an invite with R.Kelly’s face on the cover, inviting guests to a “sprinkle” :)

      • Megan Zander

        HAHAHAHA I would totally go to that shower.

    • Candace

      Call it a “sprinkle,” not a “shower” (get it….shower is a lot of rain/presents, sprinkle is a little rain/fewer presents since second time around)? I always thought that was so cute but have never been to a “sprinkle.” That way people feel less pressured to go all out on gifts for a person they already got gifts for the first time around? You could use the “sprinkle” term as a theme or come up with another. I agree – more booze and socializing and less about boring party games.

      • Bethany Ramos

        This is really cute – today is the first time I’ve heard of this theme. :)

      • JLH1986

        I threw a “sprinkle” for a friend when her baby clothes were destroyed in a flood. She loved it. I found mason jars with blue/white or pink/white striped straws for drinks, I did cheat and had a local Italian place cater because pasta is filling, yummy and I didn’t have to cook. I had Pink Lemonade to drink, and had a baby toes cake. I know it freaks people out but she likes baby feet so everything else was little pink feet! I thought it turned out very cute and she loved it.

      • Bethany Ramos

        LOVE LOVE LOVE

      • JLH1986

        Diapered baby butts and feet? What’s not to love? LOL

    • Jessica

      When I have done 2nd showers, I have made them co-ed, and more towards a fun party/bbq than a shower. Then instead of registry gifts, we suggested something practical, like diapers or new board books for the baby’s room. And there were no games where anyone needed to guess anything about diaper contents.

    • pineapplegrasss

      2nd baby showers are totally acceptable, if needed. If she really does have most everything, depends how far apart the kids are and the sex, you can do a 2nd hand/hand me down theme, which I think is super cute.
      I like the price is right game, if you’re going to do games. We also play a game where we made a big board like memory and the words are baby words but the surprise was a corresponding candy bar if you made a match. Like gynecologist =butterfinger, hospital bill=1000grand, engorgement=milky way, triplets= 3 musketeers, premature=runts. etc.
      Put in the invitation that a package of diapers=door prize entry and to bring a signed childrens book instead of a card.

    • Melissa

      The most fun baby shower I went to was a “pregger kegger”: co-ed BBQ, very low-key, definitely non-traditional. They had lots of good food and drink, no games (except a pinata shaped like a naked pregnant torso that was filled with candy and condoms), and no opening of presents in front of everyone (everyone just left gifts in a back room). Oh–and if you wanted to, you were encouraged to dress up like you were pregnant–guys and girls alike. Not sure how baby showers got to be a stuffy, women-only thing, but they’re much more fun co-ed because why leave the dad out of the fun?

      • Bethany Ramos

        I am so into this shower idea that I almost wish I’d had a second shower haha. I may have to steal some of these ideas, especially the co-ed pregnant theme. !!!

    • Melissa

      And I should add that for a second shower gifts should probably be downplayed or optional–maybe ask your friend if she needs diapers and it could just be a “diaper drop” for gifts? That’s all I would really want and need for mini-me #2!

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      If she’s skittish, I’d suggest not going all-out. And lots of people don’t enjoy second baby showers because they can feel gift grubby.
      This has been mentioned in other comments, but a shower is showering with presents. A celebration could include gifts from those who are interested, but everyone can just come and send good vibes to the pregnant lady. A cocktail party, BBQ or something that comes with a fun baby themed cake and some neat decor should do the job– with no gift opening at all during the party.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Yeah, the more I am reading here, the more I think the wording of “celebration” and optional gifts make all the difference. Now I won’t be committing a social faux pas!

    • Persistent Cat

      I’d like to put my unasked for vote on the “no” side. The only time I think a second shower is acceptable is when there’s a huge gap in ages (10 years plus). And now I learn a “sprinkle” exists so there’s another new thing shoved on us. It’s up there with push present.

      She already had a shower. Wait for another friend to get pregnant for the first time.

    • Lcferna

      Best game at my party was the ‘design a diaper’ game. Pair up. Give each pair a toilet roll and 5 mins to design diaper using one of them as a model. Have them model the diapers. Hilarity ensues… Particularly when one group get decorative with food items…

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    • chong shu

      awesome dinner and the ideas how to prepare and serve the dinner in front of the guests whose are coming in to the party. like baby hazel games.