Dear Sanctimommy Dear Sanctimommy,

 

I’m trying to find a daycare for my six-month-old. What should I look for?

 

Searching in Idaho

 

Dear Searching,

 

First, let’s have a moment of silence for your baby’s emotional well being. (silence). Ok then. Before we get into vetting baby jails perhaps it is worth exploring if you’ve done everything possible to stay home with your child. Have you explored:

 

-Selling your hair? Extensions aren’t just for for “urban” communities anymore! Did you know that Jessica Simpson rocks borrowed locks pretty much 24/7? If you deep condition on a regular basis and have kept the home coloring to a minimum, you should be able to stay with your baby with income from your hair. If you don’t have the face shape for a pixie cut, learn how to contour.

 

-Selling blood plasma/platelets. Expect to earn between $35-50 a visit. You can go just about every two weeks depending on your health. Being a SAHM will be worth the dizzy spells. Bonus: Most blood banks give free treats to their donors which will help you save money on snacks.

 

-Network Marketing. Mary Kay, Avon. If you aren’t traditionally educated you can turn a pretty penny by slinging drugstore-quality makeup to friends and family. Throw baby in the Bjorn and get to selling!

 

Still need a daycare? You can’t say I didn’t try.

 

Making the daycare decision is a hard one. Look for one that allows you to watch your baby via a camera that feeds to the Internet. This way if a worker were to snap, you’d be able to call the authorities in time. That’s my advice for you. Enjoy the weekends with your little one. love, SM

 

Dear Sanctimommy,

 

I feel burnt out when it comes to dinner ideas. Do you have any easy recipes to share?

 

Hungry in California

 

Dear Hungry,

 

Cooking for your family is how you show them love while meeting their nutritional needs. Right now my family is observing a grain-free LOganic (local and organic) diet. My twin baby boys who I stay home with while running my lifestyle blog LOVE kale and can’t get enough of the stuff. That’s the great thing about kids: they only crave garbage if you feed it to them.

 

A lot of families resort to fast food these days but I for one would never knowingly poison the people who mean the most to me. I didn’t breath through 18 hours of natural labor to muddle my babies’ blood with toxins after the fact.  That said, moms today are busier than ever! I keep myself accountable by sharing my daily meal photos on Instagram. The Likes and comments remind me of the important work I’m doing.

 

Consider investing in a notebook. Decorate it with stickers, glitter glue and other funsies. While you’re on your walk to the farmer’s market or on the elliptical for 45 minutes jot down foodspiration as it comes to you. Tonight we’re having pan seared almond flour-crusted wild mock salmon (formed with chickpea paste) with arugula and beet foam. I don’t believe in the concept of dessert but our meal will be followed with a stevia-sweetened avocado carob mousse.

 

Inspired yet? I bet you are!

love,

Sanctimommy

 

I’m not the perfect mom, but I’m the perfect mom for my family and for most of yours. I love helping others be their best. Got a question for Sanctimommy? Email her at dearsanctimommy@gmail.com.

(Image: getty images)