Nothing sucks more than shelling out your cold hard cash on an adorable baby product, only to find out months down the road that it has the power to open up like a Venus fly trap and snap off your baby’s tiny little hand. Or something like that.

I’m joking, but really—product recalls aren’t all that funny. We’ve all seen headlines of babies or young children that are killed because of a product defect. That thought makes my blood run cold. But don’t click away just yet! Keep reading to find out the eight most terrifying product recalls in baby history:

(*Note: “Terrifying” is subject to my personal opinion. This is not an official list of terror.)

1.    Simplicity Cribs

TRIGGER WARNING! I hate this story, but here goes. 1 million Simplicity drop side cribs were recalled in 2009 because they suffocated babies that got trapped between the drop-side crib portion and the mattress. I don’t even want to picture this. No, no, no, no.

cpsc.gov

cpsc.gov

2.    Infantino Baby Slings

1 million of these puppies were recalled in 2010 because they caused “breathing hazards.” If you’re carrying a baby in a sling, a breathing obstruction isn’t exactly ideal.

media.trb.com

media.trb.com

3.    Hasbro Easy-Bake Ovens

Easy-Bake Ovens are the best! Or are they…? Hasbro had to recall nearly 1 million Easy-Bakes in 2007 after 249 children got their fingers or hands trapped in oven openings; 77 kids were burned. For shame, Hasbro, for shame.

hasbro.com

hasbro.com

4.    IKEA Smila Lamp

This recent product recall just sucks because you would never expect it. Poor IKEA. The kid-friendly lamp had a dangling cord that posed a choking hazard to babies. After several unfortunate deaths, IKEA went for the recall.

cpsc.gov

cpsc.gov

5.    Pottery Barn Kids Dolls

These sweet, unsuspecting little dolls were recalled in the thousands in the US and Canada because of strangling hair loops! I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around that, but it freaks me out.

cpsc.gov

cpsc.gov

6.    Toy Speed Boats

200,000 battery-operated toy speed boats were recalled by Dollar General. Just when you’re having fun playing with your toy boat in the bath, it overheats and BURNS YOU. $3 well spent.

cpsc.gov

cpsc.gov

7.    Carter’s Watch the Wear Bodysuits

Every new mom has Carter’s in their baby’s closet, right? It should make you feel warm and fuzzy to know that 128,000 bodysuits were recalled in 2012 because of an infant choking hazard from detachable snaps.

cpsc.gov

cpsc.gov

8.    Fisher Price Seahorse

This is an intriguing recall because it hasn’t happened yet, but this Facebook thread is demanding it so. My son actually was given this Fisher Price Seahorse, and he slept with it every night for over a year. Needless to say, we chucked it in the trash to prevent any spontaneous combustion during naptime.

facebook.com

facebook.com