• Thu, Jan 23 - 1:30 pm ET

STFU Parents: Facebook Moms Who Think Their Baby’s Poop Smells Good

 

We’ve all heard the expression, “You think your shit don’t stink,” delivered metaphorically, but did you know this foul idiom actually applies to some parents literally? Yes, there’s a small-to-medium-sized crap-happy subset of parents out there who not only pleasantly sniff the aroma of their baby’s poop, but remark upon its sweet fragrance on Facebook. Believe it or not, some people find this completely disgusting. And yet, for every dozen (or thousand) people who think that shit just smells like shit, there’s an unsuspecting parent who thinks her baby’s poop smells like roses. Well, okay, not like roses exactly, but some other specific scent or odor, and the more fascinated the parent is with this smell, the less inhibitive she is about sharing her smelly little secret.

 

Call me crazy, but the last thing I want people whispering about behind my back is my self-professed affection for smelling my kid’s dirty diapers. I’ve heard the rumors before and posted several examples on STFU, Parents. I’ve even halfway come to terms with the fact that some parents simply enjoy smelling their tot’s bodily waste. Funnily enough, the parents who doo do are usually breastfeeding moms who claim that their munchkin’s poop surprisingly doesn’t smell bad, and they want confirmation from other moms who feel the same way. But considering breastfeeding mothers directly influence their baby’s diet with their own, this is just a glamorized way of confirming that sometimes, people really do think their shit doesn’t stink. When a breastfeeding mom is saying she likes the way her baby’s poop smells, to a certain extent she’s saying, “I like the way my own poop smells.” Why the hell would anyone post that on Facebook, much less reveal it in a doctor’s office? For some parents, poop pride is real. And they will defend their baby’s “odorless poop” right up until that kid starts eating solids. Ew. Let’s check out some examples.

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  • Earth muffin

    These moms probably aren’t REALLY breastfeeding. My daughter has been EXCLUSIVELY breastfed since she was born and her poop smells exactly like jasmine incense and cinnamon. I hardly have to wash her 100% organic cotton cloth diapers because I just use them as air fresheners. The buttered popcorn smell sounds suspiciously like the result of formula. SMH. Poor babies.

    • Kayla Valdine Meyers

      You win the internets. I tip my hat to you, madame.

  • Katherine Handcock

    Ladies, calm down. Just because breastfed-baby poop smells LESS than other sorts of poop doesn’t change its inherent poop-ness. It’s waste. Excrement. I don’t know how I can make this any more clear.

    There are SO many better baby-related smells to remember than a newborn’s dirty diaper…

    • zigzag

      Dreft! I started washing my own sheets in Dreft so I could smell sweet babies all night! Haha

    • Jessica

      I love the way dreft smells! I’d totally wash everything in it, but my husband hates it :/

  • RW

    I have to say I agree with buttered popcorn being the closest approximation to labeling the odour of baby poo, but it is foul, rotten buttered popcorn. Maybe more like buttered underwear smeared with shit?

    • Williwaw

      There’s a charming image.

  • lou

    The fact that multiple crazy mothers compared it to buttered popcorn now makes me afraid that it actually does smell like that. Coz if it does, I’m never eating buttered popcorn again.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    i166.photobucket.com/albums/u103/wmdkitty/Useful%20Responses/Usagi_big_no.gif” border=”0″ alt=” photo Usagi_big_no.gif

    • http://www.chemtrailareforchildren.gov/ daddybigcat

      help this lady has trapped me in her trailer that smells like a massive yeast infection! if you’ve seen me call the aspca asap!

  • zigzag

    It does smell like popcorn. I certainly don’t want to eat any poop, but I also don’t eat buttered popcorn so it wasn’t an “omg, I eat stuff that smells like that!” thing for me.

    Also, when they say sweet, I don’t think they mean like sugar. I don’t know if I can describe it, but there is a type of sweet smell that isn’t pleasant. Sickly sweet perhaps? For me, molasses is sickingly sweet (I don’t care that sickingly isn’t a real word), I think that is how I’d describe newborn baby poop. But then again, I don’t enjoy molasses. I think it looks, smells, tastes disgusting.

  • Kayla Valdine Meyers

    I’m glad I already hate buttered popcorn.

  • Melissa T

    NONONONONONONONO

  • ktbay

    Great, here I am, set to plop out a baby any day now, and I’m just now learning that her shit is going to smell like popcorn. I effing hate the smell of popcorn. Where was this in all of those baby books?!

    • Muggle

      Oh god me too! Now that I know that I have changed my mind (for the millionth time, but still) on having kids.

  • Julie

    I just opened the link to this post without knowing the complete title of the article. Before it loaded I took my two year old in for a diaper change where I told her her butt smells like a rotting beach at low tide. How on earth could anyone like the smell of rot butt?

  • Williwaw

    The list of ruined foods now runs for several pages: buttered popcorn, steak, cranberry sauce, carrots, any kind of pudding, smoothies, cottage cheese, strawberry milkshakes, mustard, Parmesan cheese, peanut butter, grapes, Twizzlers, edamame beans, chocolate fountains, yellow curry…when will the madness end?

  • MommaJen

    This just helped my carb cravings. My bathroom scale thanks you.

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  • Ptownsteveschick

    I have always loved to smell my 2 year old’s breath, and I kept it to myself like a shameful weird secret. Now I am just glad I’m not as creepy as these people.

  • ILoveJellybeans

    Yes, newborn baby poo does not smell as bad as adult poo, or that of a baby who eats solids…but loving the way it smells so much you want to eat it? You’ve got problems.

  • Mary

    I don’t think anyone is being santimonious and I think only a breastfeeding mother can relate to this. It’s true, BF poop does not smell offensive. I always thought my kids smelled like mac and cheese. But yeah, I totally get where they are coming from, not having to smell human shit is a relief.

    • mrsbopsalot

      My baby’s smells like ranch dressing, which I didn’t really realize until I smelled some dressing as it was going on my salad and thought “why does this ranch smell like poop?…. Oh.” I’ve switched to other flavors for the time being, it definitely does not make me crave it.

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  • whiteroses

    My MIL tried to talk me into using cloth diapers. No offense meant to anyone who uses cloth- but the fact that I was changing a diaper that would then be rapidly thrown away? That was as up close and personal as I ever want to get with my son’s crap. In the beginning, I had a hard enough time changing his diaper without using rubber gloves. It has always grossed me out, because it didn’t matter that it came out of my beautiful baby- it’s still shit. Nothing will ever make it NOT shit.

    I am SO thankful nothing like this has ever shown up on my newsfeed. Thank you, friends, for being sane.