• Thu, Jan 23 - 12:00 pm ET

Real Or Fake? Parenting Pet Peeves Of The BabyCenter Boards

judgeThere’s something about the Internet that makes parents all kinds of judgy. And before you judge me for using the word judgy because it’s not actually a word, it is now: Judgy™ by Mommyish.

If you visit the BabyCenter boards at any time during your pregnancy, it will be confirmed that judgy is a word. But how judgy can you actually be?

I will answer your question with our favorite Mommyish game: Real or Fake? No cheating! Take the time to work your way through and give your best guess for each judgy parenting post that may or may not be found on the BabyCenter boards…

Real or Fake: Moms, what is your biggest pet peeve?

1. Dressing Non-Twins As Twins (How Dare You)

I have a friend with 2 sons – age 5 and nearly 3. Every time I see those kids, they’re wearing the same outfits. She really, really hates shopping, so I can only assume that when she buys clothes for them, she just buys two of everything. Or something.

Answer: REAL. This BabyCenter mom hates her friend’s audacity to dare dress her non-twin children in matchy-matchy clothing. Sure, the sentiment may be a little annoying, but aren’t there starving children in Africa somewhere?

2. A Child That Shares The Same Birthday (How DARE You)

I find nothing more annoying than a child in my son’s class that has the same birthday. His party is totally overshadowed, and I have to work together with another mom to plan some kind of “joint venture”. The teacher should find a way to space birthdays out so that nobody shares.

Answer: FAKE. Since there are billions of people in the world, the odds are that your special snowflake is going to share a birthday with somebody. Better hope it’s somebody cool, like Betty White who shares my son’s birthday. Too bad she’s not in his class.

3. Healthy Parents, Unhealthy Kids (How Dare YOU)

Have a friend her girls are 4 and 1, she does it all the time!!!… I hate when the parents eat really healthy, but they feed their kids junk!

Answer: REAL. Maybe these parents are assholes, or maybe, just maybe, their kids are like all other kids on the planet and refuse to eat a damn vegetable. “Food for thought.”

4. Parents Of Overly Friendly Kids (HOW Dare You)

This happens to us all the time at playgrounds:  we are playing with our kid, who’s almost 4.  Other parents are totally checked out, so their kids glom onto us. Why do parents think that’s okay?  Do they really think I want to play with their 8 year-old just became I brought my own kid to the park?

Answer: REAL. I kinda get the fact that this can be annoying, but perhaps you could be nice to a poor kid that just wants someone to play with when their parents aren’t paying attention to them? I feel bad for the kid most of all in this scenario—save the irritation.

5. Parents Walking Ahead Of Kids (HOW DARE YOUUUU)

When a family is walking down the street and the parents are walking ahead of the their children. Hello? It only takes a second for the kid to run into the street or for someone to snatch them.

Answer: REAL. Chill, hall monitor! How old are the kids in this scenario? Maybe the parents have talked to them extensively about street safety. Maybe they are old enough to walk on the sidewalk on their own. Maybe not all families want to walk in a straight line with arms linked like the Von Trapp family.

*Note: I fully realize that most of the answers in this game are REAL. I couldn’t help myself because some parents are REAL JUDGY™.

(photo: Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
Share This Post:
  • CMJ

    #1….W.theactual.F?

    And #2 is totally real to some people it just hasn’t been immortalized on Babycenter….yet.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Oh, you know it’s somewhere on there. Maybe in a private group, but it’s there.

  • ChillMama

    It’s no fair, but I could totally tell the fake one because the writing was so much better than the others! :)

    • Bethany Ramos

      DAMMIT – but also, thanks ;)

  • Kay_Sue

    If there’s one thing Carrie Underwood taught us in the Sound of Music Live, it’s that no matter how hard you strive to be a Von Trapp, you will never *really* be one.

    The first one actually got me. I said to myself, “Well, there’s no way someone would waste time complaining about that.” But no, someone did. You got me, Bethany, you rascal!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yay! #successface

  • Brittany Anne

    I had so much fun lurking around the Babycenter boards during my pregnancy and after my son was born. I feel like everyone started out okay. But then after everyone’s babies were born, and time went on, and sleep deprivation started to set in, it descended into this raging, bitchy madness.

    It was like watching some kind of exhausted, hormonal train wreck.

  • phoenix81

    I was a Baby Center junkie while pregnant. I loved looking for controversial posts or posts of people losing their minds over stupid sh*t. My favourites include but are not limited to: baby name stealing, obnoxious in-laws, or the ever popular people want to hold my newborn how dare they.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahaha I was too! I am going to steal all of these post ideas.

    • Teleute

      Some of those women are deeply disturbed. Like the ones who argue that it’s perfectly acceptable to breastfeed a child during sexual intercourse “because breasts aren’t sexual.” (There have been multiple threads on the subject.)

      Or the ones who think it’s okay to adopt a preschooler who’s never even been breastfed and begin dry nursing them. Or maybe that was Mothering.com.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      L0lwut?? If I BF’d while having le sexytimes MK is either gonna get squashed or she will slide off of me and rip my tit off in the process.

    • Kay_Sue

      I’m really trying to figure out how this would even work and I’m really regretting that I can’t just let it go without trying to find a feasible solution. Every scenario seems to end up with incredible breast pain….

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Maybe if their body was hanging off your side (perpendicular to you)? LOL we need a book of positions for this.

      ETA: that would only work if mom was on bottom. XD

    • Kay_Sue

      I could do without the illustrations in such a volume, lol.

    • Momma425

      Hahaha, the “kama sutra for new moms”
      And you thought some of the regular positions were challenging…now add a breastfeeding baby in the mix!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Yeah that’s what it’s called! You can tell I’m not so into that kind of stuff lol

    • Teleute

      Found a screenie for you…

    • Kay_Sue

      But wouldn’t baby get jostled? Do we just have exceptionally rough sex in our house? I thought we were pretty vanilla most of the time honestly, but this is making me rethink that.

    • Teleute

      Here’s a blog entry I did on it a few months ago, which is where the image came from:
      http://goo.gl/AJtkBE

      For the record, I’m not anti breastfeeding. Just anti child-exploitation-masqueraded-as-breastfeeding. And I absolutely hate it when people sexualize breastfeeding and then whine about breastfeeding not being sexual.

    • ted3553

      yeah, all I can seem to figure out is that baby shakes and if that baby’s mouth is on my nipple (coming from a non-BFer) wouldn’t that pinch or yank on your boob?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      OH MAN WTFFFFF THIS IS EPIC

    • Teleute
    • thisshortenough

      Ugh that last screencap

    • lemon floor wax

      Thanks so much for the nightmares. Holy shit.

    • Bethany Ramos

      This is what the song Fuck Her Gently was made for. !!!

    • CMJ
    • Momma425

      I’m not so into threesomes, so maybe I’m just an old fart who is not with the times, but I wouldn’t even have sex while my baby was in the room. Don’t care if the baby doesn’t remember…I do, and it would ruin sex for me. I find it distrubing.

    • candyvines

      How fast did you hit the “report this” button when you read that?

    • Ana

      Not to mention it would be a total boner-killer. Sleeping in the same room? Maaaybe. Definitely not if she’s ATTACHED to me.

    • Kay_Sue

      I feel like all it would do is give me a reminder of what exactly can result from this experience, and that would be a mood killer…

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      No kidding! We had sex a couple times when the baby was in the bassinet and, well… meh. I could hear him fart and it really took me out of the moment.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      No kidding! We had sex a couple times when the baby was in the bassinet and, well… meh. I could hear him fart and it really took me out of the moment.

    • Véronique Houde

      doggy style? lol

    • Kay_Sue

      I thought about that, but everything just…jostles…so much…poor baby would be chasing after it…

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      I’m sorry. WHAT? As a boob man, I’m sure my manpanion would take issue with this.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Manpanion! I’ve never heard that before but will totally be using it from now on (because asking my 30something year old friend about her ‘boyfriend’ never quite sounds right!). Thank you!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      lol my fella is 13 years older than me and I used to refer to him as my “man-friend” until my father told me it makes him sound like a trench-coat wearing playground stalker…

    • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ Theresa Edwards

      I too, am seriously baffled about the mechanics of this. Unless it’s the most stand-stillingest Victorian era sex ever.

    • ted3553

      Mind Blown! Best disturbing mind picture ever. It’s like a car crash where you can’t look away but in this case, I can’t stop picturing it and making a squishy, disgusted and puzzled face.

    • Teleute

      LOL I use the car crash analogy all the time to explain my fascination with crazy mombies. :-)

    • val97

      Ummmm, my breasts are definitely sexual.

    • Amber Starr

      AHHHHHHHHHH! Breastfeeding while getting railed would creep me out beyond belief and would be a surefire way to ensure that my lady bits were drier than a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

    • Bethany Ramos

      LOL comment of the week!!

    • Amber Starr

      HAHA! Thank you :D

    • Jessie

      *Hands over the Comment Gold Star* YOU WIN!!

    • Amber Starr

      Why thank you! You rock <3

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      Whoa, Whoa.
      Whoa.
      Breastfeeding during sex? Jesus Christ, take a minute! Not everything needs to be multitasked. I really can’t even fathom (nor want to) the mechanics of such a clusterfuck. I have never even considered such a thing.

    • Jen

      The Bump is also great for entertainment, particularly the name board. People have strong opinions that they share as forcefully as if they are giving you the cure for cancer.

    • emlangille

      “People want to hold my newborn, how dare they” I know this is a common trend but reading that just made me laugh so hard…

    • Courtney Lynn

      The “stolen name” threads are funny as hell! I realized the other day that my daughter has the same name as my cousin’s daughter. Ain’t no drama. It’s pretty funny, actually!

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      Oh my god, the newborn hoarders! I never understood that one. I let everyone who came over hold my baby.

    • JAN

      My baby turned four weeks today…I WANT someone to come hold him…I have stuff I need to do, like showering!

  • aCongaLine

    I love to sit with the babycenter boards open, and popcorn in my lap, so that I can read about the stupid drama that makes me LOL. THere is so much guilt being thrown around on there. It’s INSANE. And highly entertaining.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    Is it wrong to say I am mildly annoyed when people dress their identical twins exactly the same? This 99.99999% applies to people who continue this trend well into adulthood; it’s cute when they are little. By mildly, I really mean hardly at all. I guess it’s because I’d hate to grow up lumped together with someone in a kind of circus act and never have individuality.

    ps. two of my brother-in-laws are identical twins and they could not look more different. For having the same face, they sure took it in opposite ways with weight, hairstyle, teeth, glasses. Even their voices sound different, though the tone is the same. They never went all matchy-matchy and since they’re like 22 I’m really glad they don’t. :L

    I should start stalking forums for drama like the rest of the commenters. XD

    • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ Theresa Edwards

      I only care if I’m responsible for said twins. My daughter has a set of ITs over for playdates and sometimes they’re dressed the same, but one is deathly allergic to everything edible. I’m not comfortable asking “which one are you” so we all just eat saltines and water.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Theresa, all of your comments are lolling me today – IDK why. My side hurts from laughing!

    • Alexandra

      OMG I agree, I’m totally LMAO. Maybe some sort of hand stamp?? Saltines and water – I love it!

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      I’m not a fan of matching under any circumstances outside of uniforms. I know adult bffs that love to dress in matching outfits and they remind me of 11 year olds from some Nickelodeon tween tv show.

    • Bethany Ramos

      This is so upsetting to me…!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You could have told me this before I bought us matching satin jackets D

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      Matching satin jackets are ALWAYS the exception to the rule, Eve.

    • Tinyfaeri

      How else are you supposed to find your pub crawl group on St Patty’s Day?

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I guess way more irksome to me than outfits is when IT’s have rhyming names. My BIL’s’ names are in no way related except that their middle and (of course) last names are the same. But then again all 4 of those boys have the same middle name (Dad’s name) and the 5 girls have the same middle name too (Mom’s middle name; my girl’s middle name too).

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      I find this really strange. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never heard of siblings all having the same middle names before.

    • Drstephaniedvm

      My sisters and I all have my Mother’s name as our middle name. So do both of my girls and my niece.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Me neither and he wants it for our kids and I HATE it! Not as much as I did at first but I decided there were other battles to pick, lol

    • Véronique Houde

      In Quebec, the old-school tradition is actually to have either Marie or Joseph as a first name, then the godparents’ names then the given name, , then the last name. So my mom was Marie Thérèse Anne Rosemarie Galarneau. And when she got married, she became Marie Thérèse Anne Rosemarie Galarneau Houde. Yeah… And my dad is Joseph Albert André Ronald Houde. And yes, I actually remember the names lol

    • lemon floor wax

      I knew two families growing up like this. One ALL had the initials TNT (yes, they were dynamite, before you ask) and the other ALL had names that started with J (no, not the Duggars). No monograms for any of them!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      One of the blogs I casually follow not only have all their kids’ names start with the same letter, but they all have the same number of letters. And sometimes there is nasty spelling butchery to achieve it! Actually, another blog did the exact same thing but their names are fine and there are four of them instead of 11 (it was an adoption blog). It’s a cool concept if you’re into it, which I am not.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I guess my husband and I own the same sweatshirt jacket (it’s got bold graphics and it bright red) but the number of times we’ve worn them at the same time is like 3-ish. This is as matchy-matchy as we’ll ever get.

    • Bethany Ramos

      You are so cute!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Haha thanks, this was one of our engagement photos from Way Back When

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You guys are ffffffing adorable

    • shel

      Sometimes hubby and I will accidently dress alike (same colored shirt or one of the few T-shirts with pop culture stuff we both have) but once we notice it, usually one of us will go change if we’re going to be out in public :P Unless we’re dressing up for a fancy night out, then sometimes I like his tie to be coordinated with my dress, but not matchy/matchy.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      Sometimes you just have to coordinate! And I’ll admit, sometimes you have to match. But if you’re doing it for shits and giggles, well, that’s just weird.

    • ted3553

      I used to teach a set of super identical twins in swimming lessons when they were about 5. They showed up every day in the same swimsuit. Their mom helpfully pointed out to me that the one had a small freckle on her nose. Thanks Mom.

    • pixie

      Whenever we get identical twins at my martial arts place the parents are usually really good about making them wear different coloured t-shirts under their uniform and always the same colour every week (like Timmy always wears a blue shirt and Tommy always wears a red one), though it’s still hard to tell them apart 90% of the time when you’re already trying to remember 40 other kids’ names.

    • Roberta

      True story: mom dressed both my sister and me in identical shirts throughout our vacation to Florida. We were 4 and 8, look nothing alike, and because of the BRIGHT NEON PINK shirts, were visible from space.
      Were we fashionable? Hello no. Did she lose us somewhere in the Space Centre? Surprisingly, yes.

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    My fragrance: Judgy™ By Mommyish

  • Kimberly

    Judgy is a word! Judgemental (people can’t even agree how to spell it, with or without an e) is way too long and not nearly enough negative connotation to it. I also like “judgy mc judgerson”. But that’s a phrase. :D

  • Shannon

    I get awfully judgy when a small toddler is straggling 15 or 20 feet behind their mom in a target parking lot on a Friday afternoon. While shes texting.

    I totally get a 6 year old not wanting to hold their moms hand, but for fucks sake when I see really small kids wandering around moving cars I really want to pull the parents head out of their ass and ask them why they bothered to have kids.

  • AP

    This sounds like The Knot wedding boards. I had several people bitch me out for saying things like, “you’ll need to travel to each of your vendors several times, so factor in gas/train fare/car rental, etc. when you pick a place” and “if you order stuff from the internet, shipping can get costly.” Apparently, most of the bridezillas over there paid for their weddings with magical regenerating leprechaun gold.

    • Ana

      The Craigslist wedding and parenting boards are also pretty entertaining for their judgy-ness.

    • CMJ

      Wait, Craigslist has parenting boards?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Heading there now…

    • Kay_Sue

      You guys need to report back so I don’t waste my time. :-p

    • Ana

      Bummer. I remember it being funny a while ago, but it looks pretty random now. Sorry!

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      The top discussion on my city’s board is “Is PARENTING ever discussed in this forum?” I can only assume the rest of the posts are dudes ISO lactating mommies.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      My new fragrance is Magical Regenerating Leprechaun Gold ™

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      This is my main source of income, which explains a lot about my current bank statement.

    • MellyG

      You too? Now if only i could convince my bank….

      Also, how is transportation ever “free” – it’s gas at LEAST and that’s not cheap!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I want in on these magical regenerating leprechaun gold!

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      That’s some good advice. What on earth were they bitching about???

    • AP

      I have no idea. I think someone told me that “transportation is free” and that making your guests happy is all that matters.

      I remember a girl from Nebraska bitched me out over the term “subway fare” because “no one needs that.” Uh…ok?

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Some people live in a very different world from the one in which I live. We don’t even own a car and we still managed to get married somehow.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    A friend of mine puts her kids in the same bathing suit….I thought it was just to be cute but she explained that it makes it so much easier to find them on a crowded beach/pool. Makes sense to me.

    My parents dressed my 3 older (half) sisters the same quite frequently. Different colours but the same outfits. Even though two of them are sisters and one is not (2 from my mom’s first marriage, 1 from my dad’s). Apparently they thought it was fun. Sometimes – mostly if it was something my mom sewed for them because I’m 10 years younger – I’d have a matching outfit too.

    Now, I do find it strange when older (i.e. adult) twins dress the same. I see a pair of old ladies on the subway sometimes who do this. There’s also these two dudes I see around sometimes who dress the same but old men all kind of look similar anyway so I’m not actually sure if they’re twins or a couple….

    • AP

      My mom used to dress us in identical outfits in contrasting colors when we to zoos or amusement parks. We thought they were special matching sister outfits. My mom later admitted that it was in case one of us got lost, she could tell security: “She’s wearing the same outfit as this one, but her stripes are red instead of yellow.” Sneaky mom!

    • Pumplestilskin

      Lol, my grandma used to do this with my niece and I when we were younger (she’s 4 years younger than me but as we have different genetics and hers are Amazonian and mine are more Munchkin, we were not too far apart size-wise). I always had blue, green or yellow she always had red, pink or purple

    • pixie

      One of my friends goes to school with a set of twins who only like to be referred to as one person. Like they see themselves as one entity, not two individuals. As far as I know, they’re identical, in their early twenties, and are not conjoined, and if that’s the way they see themselves, I’m not going to judge that, because who am I to say that they’re wrong. But I do agree with you I find it odd when adult twins dress the same.

    • JudasSong

      I went to university with twin girls who lived together (aw, that’s kind of nice that get along so well), had the same major (they must have similar interests, but whatever), took all the same electives and scheduled them at the same time (seriously, are you guys never apart?), dressed the same almost every day (doesn’t this start to look a little odd and unprofessional in presentations?) and then eventually started dating one guy between them (wait, what?). I have no idea if he knew at first that he was dating two people, but soon found out. Not sure how that ended for everyone involved.

    • AP

      It started creepy, and ended a Budweiser commercial…

    • pixie

      That’s, uh, an interesting situation..? That almost sounds like the plot to a porno movie lol

    • JudasSong

      I *did* go to the University of Performing Pornographic Arts…

  • Alexandra

    Yikes, I know i’m an asshole parent in some ways (admit) but I totally understand the post about being at the park and not wanting to incorporate another child into your play time with your child, unless a large group of kids is playing together. Especially if your child is 4 and the other child is 8 (as in the example) – there are all sorts of reasons – I don’t know this kid, older kids can be rough, this kid is not my kid and I should not be responsible for him, I do not KNOW this freaking kid, it’s awkward as hell.
    Sorry, but I get it.

  • Larry Drew SG

    Judgy™®

    now Judgy™ is mine Muahahaha

  • pixie

    I was a really really slow walker as a kid and would walk really far behind my parents. It wasn’t necessarily because I wanted to, just mostly because my tiny legs couldn’t keep up with my parents. My parents did, however, wait for me before crossing the street and walked at my pace when crossing parking lots, but just walking on the sidewalk around our neighbourhood, I would be a consistent 50-100ft behind most of the time. I think I was around 5-7ish, in a safe neighbourhood, and zero desire to dash out onto the street.

    But I do get nervous when I see small children running around in busy parking lots with their parents either far in front or far behind. I like to believe the parents are keeping an eye out, but I’ve been nearly hit in a parking lot as an adult and paying attention to the cars, so anything can happen.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      My sister (adult, with Downs) always walked like 20 paces behind me and my dad whenever we were on the college campus together. Part of it is she’s short and walks a bit slower but I think a lot of it is habit. My dad tried to slow his pace once and she just slowed her pace too LOL

  • ChelseaBFH

    You know who gets REALLY mad about non-twins dressed alike? People on twins boards. It’s the second most hated thing, after someone with two close in age kids who dares to think she can relate to the twin mom.

    • Emil

      What??? How is this offensive? I dress my 1 and 4 year old alike because I am lame like that. The only ones allowed to be annoyed are my daughters- 10 years from now when they look at the pictures.

    • MamaLlama

      How funny!! So am I not allowed to have a double stroller either?

    • Toaster

      My 3-year old and 9-month old have matching Star Trek shirts and I am not sorry about that.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      The being mad about two kids close in age thing annoys me. My mom had us 17 months apart and though physically my sister was bigger, being a Downy Buddy meant we were the same mental age for a while and my mom was changing two diapers until I stopped and then some. We weren’t infants at the same time but still.

    • ChelseaBFH

      I don’t get it either. I have twin infants and often think how much easier it is to have two babies than it would have been to have a baby and a toddler. With the twins I can do a lot of things for both at once -tandem breastfeeding, some play time, etc. It would be much harder if one required totally different parenting!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Haha and I’m over here thinking twinfants would be harder than when they are old enough to entertain themselves because of not being on a predictable schedule TOGETHER. I’m glad you gave me this side of the looking glass.

  • AlexMMR

    Babycenter is my daily “stories” the way a lazy 80′s housewife watched her soap operas.

  • candyvines

    One of my favorite things to do is visit Babycenter once a week and find out what size of food my baby is (this week – a lemon!) I’m afraid to start reading the boards.

    • jess

      i didn’t even bother finishing reading the rest of the comments before i went to check this out. I have a kumquat!
      Although according to this new chart- you’ve got something between a half eaten corn dog and a can of soda.

    • candyvines

      That’s hilarious, and congratulations on your kumquat!

    • pineapplegrasss

      oh I fucking love this. I’m somewhere between a banana split and jumbo bag of chips. Have got to send it to my sis the sonographer bc she is always making fun of moms that say ‘how big is my baby, you know..in fruit?’ We make all kinds of jokes about what my current baby is.. 5 strawberries and 1 pluot!

    • ewitatutie

      I posted once posted on facebook: “My inhabitant is now the size (approximately) of a lemon. Great. Now I’m imagining that there’s a lemon in my uterus.” And I got a couple people joking back and then a grandma friend wrote: “Your
      “inhabitant” is going to be the apple of your eye in the future – a
      beautiful baby and not some outsize giant fruit or vegetable. So please
      don´t compare your unborn baby to something eatable. Take a look at
      images of inuterus fetus in different stages and they look like human
      beings from the very early stages (13 to 56 days) already. Lots of
      love.” And then posted a picture of said fetus.

      Yeah… I don’t think she understood I was joking.

    • candyvines

      Oh, grandmas. They sure do mean well. I feel a little funny when the food of the week sounds delicious. A couple of weeks ago it was fig, and I thought “I could go for some of those.”

    • ewitatutie

      I posted once posted on facebook: “My inhabitant is now the size (approximately) of a lemon. Great. Now I’m imagining that there’s a lemon in my uterus.” And I got a couple people joking back and then a grandma friend wrote: “Your
      “inhabitant” is going to be the apple of your eye in the future – a
      beautiful baby and not some outsize giant fruit or vegetable. So please
      don´t compare your unborn baby to something eatable. Take a look at
      images of inuterus fetus in different stages and they look like human
      beings from the very early stages (13 to 56 days) already. Lots of
      love.” And then posted a picture of said fetus.

      Yeah… I don’t think she understood I was joking.

    • rrlo

      Haha, I love that too. Apparently, my baby is now the size of a rutabaga. It was more fun with the first pregnancy.

    • candyvines

      Ah, you’re into the root vegetables, nice!

    • lemon floor wax

      At my SIL’s baby shower, my MIL walked around with a can of soda to show everyone how big the baby was. Ummmm…WTF? I think we all know how big a can of soda is. no need for a visual aid.

  • Jessie

    Eh, I kinda get the one about parents walking ahead of their children DEPENDING ON THE AGE OF THE CHILD.
    My husband has two friends who are pretty much the worst parents I have ever met (which is to say: they could of course be much worse, but they’re still pretty bad), and they do this ALL THE TIME with their young’uns. They came christmas shopping with us and a few other friends one year and brought their then-barely-two-year-old son, and constantly just let him totter along a good twenty or thirty feet behind them while they just bopped around and paid ZERO attention. In a PACKED mall at CHRISTMAS TIME. Everyone else did the same thing, ignoring this little boy who could have been snatched up at any time, except for my husband and I. The fact that the only two people who AREN’T parents (and currently do not plan to BE parents) were the only ones staying with the baby and keeping watch over him is the very definition of irony, in my book.
    These people have continued this alarming behavior with their other two children as well, and all the kids just run around like wild things all over the place because their parents pay no attention.

    So, in that kind of scenario, I can see how parents walking way ahead of or even too far behind their kids can be an annoying or alarming sight. Again though, it depends on how old the kid is and if they are old enough to know to shout for help if something happens.

  • Allyson_et_al

    I thought #2 was real because I knew a mom in my kid’s preschool who easily topped that. She complained when a sick kid was placed in her son’s 3-year-old class. Not a contagious kid, a chronically ill kid. She felt it would be too “distracting” for her son. The same mom also complained when, the following year, her son ended up in a class with a child with two extremely ill parents (the dad had ALS; the mom had end-stage breast cancer). She was worried about having to talk to him about death when this little girl was ORPHANED. I have literally never met a more self-absorbed person in my life.

    • Bethany Ramos

      OMG no :(

    • Allyson_et_al

      I wish I were making this up. I really do. When she found out about the sick child in her son’s class, her exact words were, “What are they doing to my kid!?” Amazingly, he is 13 now, and seems to know that the universe does not revolve around him. so there’s that, at least.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    OMG another thing that grinds my gears outfit-wise is onesies that totally imply that the father is a F’ing idiot or put him down. My sister, no longer under the gentle guidance of my mom, got one for me for my baby shower. Yeah, MK is never wearing that, and if she does, it’s gonna be under something else so it isn’t visible. I don’t think my sister even understands what it says.

    • Bethany Ramos

      YES — I need to do a post on snarky baby onesies. Ugh.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Pinterest gots loads of them with those cliche pin-comments like SO FUNNY! GENIUS! I’M NOT PREGNANT BUT I LOVE THIS! SO GETTING THIS FOR GARY AND KARIN’S LITTLE GIRL!!!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Ewwww, I’ll research there too!

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  • Ann Smith

    Or maybe let kids play with kids instead of being a helecopter