8 Things I’m Not Gonna Do For My Baby Because Dr. Sears Said So

Dr Bill SearsDr. Sears, Parenting Guru. Kind of like Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman—only worse. I don’t know the man personally, but I’ve heard through the grapevine (i.e. from Mommyish commenters) that he is a “judgey judgey dude.”

Since I’ll believe anything I read, that’s the opinion I’m going with. If you’re a Sears fan, #sorrynotsorry. And just to add insult to injury, here is the personal experience of another reader from the same post:

I agree-Sears sucks. In retrospect I think his books were at least partly to blame for the PPD I suffered after my daughter was born. She was low birth weight and had had issues with nursing, and after reading his section on BF’ing I was convinced that unless I got her to nurse I was condemning her to a life of being stupid and obese.

Dr. Sears makes his living giving parents advice. Here are eight things that I’m not going to do, just because he said so:

1.    Beware of sleep trainers.

Sorry, Doc, sleep training worked well for both of my kids, and now I have peace and quiet for 12 hours a night. #humblebrag.

2.    Don’t substitute with mechanical mothers.

The language on this one is so… icky. Dr. Sears is basically referring to mechanical soothing products that put a baby to sleep instead of a parent. My baby loves his lamb sound soother. I’m not worried that he’ll call it “mom.”

3.    Look at a picture of your baby while you pump.

This sounds sweet and all, but when I’m pumping, it’s business time. I need a break from reality and a chance to rest—without thinking about a baby waiting for my sweet, sweet milk.

4.    Wear your baby several hours a day.

Baby wearing may work for many moms, but I don’t like it, and it hurts my back. Both of my kids have learned how to entertain themselves and be content without being strapped to my body.



5.    Try work and wear.

It’s cool that Dr. Sears is giving advice to working moms, but I’m not sure what kind of job will allow you to serve customers while wearing a baby. I work at home, and I don’t even wear my baby because he’s always swiping at my keyboard.

6.    Schedule work visits from your baby.

Dr. Sears suggests that dad or grandma bring the baby to work throughout the day or on lunch break. This idea sounds absolutely adorable, but IMO, it’s not going to happen for most working moms.

7.    Get baby used to the bottle – but not too soon.

Dr. Sears encourages working moms to introduce a baby to the bottle, but not right away. At this point in my “mothering journey,” I say do whatever works for you. My second baby was exclusively fed bottled breast milk, and it made my life much easier.

8.    Don’t put a baby to sleep with a bottle.

I don’t put my kids to bed with a bottle, but sometimes I’ll leave my son with a cup of juice if he’s being particularly ornery before his nap. Meh.

(photo: Getty Images)

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  • Mila

    Have them bring the baby to work? And what, several times a day?? #1 Who the hell is watching this kid that apparently lives right next to your workplace and has nothing but time and gas to visit you constantly? #2 What job do you have that is ok with you randomly taking breaks with visitors constantly showing up..WITH a baby? #fantasyworld
    I feel like Dr Sears wants people to be obsessed with their children at all hours of every day. I also really hate “parenting experts” that have a penis because quite frankly if you’ve never done it (i.e. breastfeeding) I don’t want your damn opinion you hooligan.

    • Paladina

      FWIW most of his parenting books are co-written with his wife, Martha, who’s an RN and has nursed 8 babies, including one with special needs. So *she* does have just a bit of first-hand experience.

    • Mila

      Now Martha, or anyone with 8 babies, I would be willing to at least listen to..

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Yes, I trust my MIL’s advice (she hasn’t even given me any yet because I haven’s had to ask) because she has 9 kids. She’s a pro super mom.

    • Momma425

      I find it really hard to believe that an RN at a busy clinic or hospital is having grandma/dad stop in with the baby and taking breaks frequently. Maybe if you only see a few patients a day or something. At the clinic I work at, I have whole days go by where I barely even see my desk, much less have time to see visitors.

    • rrlo

      I read the original article on the Sears website and it was talking about strategies for making breastfeeding doable while going back to work full-time. So it was in this section entitled “Explore your Options” – one of which was “Bring the baby to Work” while others being “Find a Nearby Daycare”, “Look into Onsite Daycare” and “Work from Home” – so it’s not too ridiculous in context.

      And the actual text for this section says “Bring your baby to work. This may not be possible on an industrial assembly line, but there are many workplaces that can accommodate the presence of an infant. We’ve known mothers who work in shops, in offices, in family businesses, and in other settings who have just packed up baby and brought her along when it’s time to return to the job after a postpartum leave. Breastfed babies are very portable. Arrange a safe and comfortable place for naps, diaper changes, and floor play, and you’ll be all set.

      I see where he is coming from – in the sense that unless you ask, you’ll never know. And someone who really wants to breastfeed their infant and work in a setting where said child is welcome – it can potentially work out.

    • sherri

      While I think this would be fantastical, unless the person worked from home or for a child care provider I don’t see this happening. I work in a lax environment but there is no way in hell we could just have a child with us the whole day. My boss had a baby last year and while she owns the place she would never think to do that because she could not efficiently do her job and worry about her kid all day every day. We did have an employee who lived nearby and would breastfeed on lunch breaks. Eventually she got burnt out and quit to stay at home.

    • airbones

      I work partially at home and partially in an office (law) and bring my baby to the office with me on occasion when I am not going to be meeting clients. I don’t see this as being so outlandish

    • sherri

      That is great for you. I’m just saying, of all the people I know with children the only I know who could bring their kid in is a Realtor and that is only if she has no showings or meetings. Every other person I know wouldn’t be allowed to do so in their current job.

    • airbones

      Just sharing my experience, since you said you didn’t see this scenario working for someone who isn’t working at home or in child care. Hopefully I didn’t come off as attacking, since that wasn’t my intention.

    • JLH1986

      I’m a secretary in a law firm. My bosses bring beer to the office to celebrate Fridays. They are quite possibly the most relaxed bosses on the planet. Hell would freeze over before they let one of us bring our kids for more than waiting for drop off/pick up. Its going to depend entirely on your environment.

    • kay

      The one job where I’ve seen this work is (catholic) youth minister. (Many catholic churches employ non-priests as youth ministers)…I know multiple women who’ve done it, I think because if someone tried to say no you can just yell “CULTURE OF LIFE!” and they freeze. Also because your office is full of teenagers so there’s someone to play with the baby so you can get work done

    • Tinyfaeri

      Pretty sure people with penises can be parents, too, and might even know a thing or two about parenting.

    • LiteBrite

      Although I have to admit I liked her comment because she called them “hooligans.” :)

    • Mila

      Parenting yes, breastfeeding IMHO no.

    • Tinyfaeri

      No man can ever offer a suggestion for how to make breastfeeding work? What if he has a good idea?

    • Mila

      He can suggest all he wants. I would just have a hard time taking breastfeeding advice from someone who doesn’t even have boobs.

    • Tinyfaeri

      To each her own. If a piece of information might help me out of a difficult spot, I’ll at least give it a try regardless of who it comes from. Besides, just because a woman has breastfed doesn’t make her an expert on others breastfeeding.

    • Mila

      Who knows, maybe some men out there are boob-whisperers and could be of more help than I could ever realize.

    • waffre

      Okay, I doubt I’m ever going to write a book about more effective breastfeeding, but if anyone here does, it needs to be called The Boob Whisperer. NEEDS to.

    • ELK

      I never would have made it through the early weeks of breastfeeding without my husband’s help. He learned as much about it as I did and gave me advice and tips he had learned. He can’t experience it, but he knows more about breastfeeding than a lot of women.

    • Anika

      My husband is a stay at home dad, and he brought my daughter to me at work so I could breastfeed her during the day. I used my 15 minute breaks and just went out to his car to nurse her. We live very close to my workplace so gas wasn’t an issue. I know its not realistic for most parents but that doesn’t mean it’s just a fantasy for everyone. I’m not into AP but I did enjoy seeing my daughter a couple times during the day.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Pro luck and circumstance!

    • Edify

      It doesn’t mean that everyone should write it off as impossible. That was also what our family did. Yes, circumstance plays into the ability to do so but so did our decision making. I know I was fortunate but not every single family actually has to write it off and saying that it was all luck and circumstances devalues the work and sacrifices that are also made.

    • Guest

      Nobody is saying it is impossible. They’re just saying that for many of us there is no way it could/would happen. I’m sure you probably planned ahead to get into that position but just realize for a lot of people there is no option for them to get this sweet gig that pays enough and lets you bring your family to work.

    • Edify

      Well aware of this and also aware that there are commentators saying its impossible. Other women have also shared similar stories and are told it’s just luck and circumstance and dismissed off hand. It’s not. Circumstance is an element but not luck. Just hard work to make it work. I share my experience so that other women who may have a similar set of circumstances know that it can be done and you won’t necessarily burn out. That’s just as valid a contribution to the discussion as any other. Also, my family didn’t come to work, my husband picked me up at lunch time and we shared lunch whilst I fed the baby. It was a sweet deal but it didn’t involve any negotiation or support from my workplace other than my scheduled lunch break. My boss didn’t even know I was still feeding until 12 months later.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I’m sorry, it came off differently than I wanted it to. I was just remarking how favorable it ended up for them only. I’m not trying in any way to devalue anyone’s sacrifice!

    • Edify

      No worries, and as a former call centre worker, I get why it doesn’t for you. I’m still with the same company I worked as a call centre agent for and the role I’m in now is flexible enough that I choose my lunch break. On the phones or even as a team leader setting an example, that would’ve been different.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I guess technically I *could* BF her but only if I worked long enough for the 30 minute lunch break, as we live about 10 minutes away, but traffic and no place to do it discreetly but my car. Right now I only work a 3 or 5 hour shift so I pump before I leave and don’t need to worry about it. I’m jelly your lunch is flexible!

    • Edify

      We only live 10 minutes from work too and work is less than 5 minutes from the beach so we would go there and park in the most private spot we could find. We ate and talked and the baby fed so we all got something enjoyable out of that time. So much so that we kept doing that after we finished feeding.

      On the con side, is that I was promoted when I was 5 months pregnant (kept it quiet until job secured) but I felt bad taking too much time off so I was back to work when she was 9 weeks old. There were good things and bad things but it worked for us and that’s what it’s all about.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Yeah, at my work? No badge, no entry. There’s no way that’s happening. Also, it’s a call center (but I only caption the calls; not make them) so if she wailed it would mess up the speech recognition.

    • Rachel Sea

      My office allows babies and dogs. One of my officemates brought her daughter in from the end of maternity leave until she left the job (unrelated to the baby) when her daughter was 10 months old. If she had to meet with a client or something, plenty of us “aunties” were on hand to provide care.

    • Commenter

      I work 5 minutes from home and my hubby is a SAHD.

      I think he’s brought my baby to work…twice?

      Seriously, I don’t want my kids in my office. I’m a professional; I don’t want my co-workers to cast me as “someone’s mommy” in their minds.

  • A

    I’d love to see the looks I’d get as a bartender wearing a baby! HAHAHAHA

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      do this, take pics, send to me, I publish, pro$it

    • keelhaulrose

      I’m not a stripper, but I know a couple who are moms. I doubt it would fly at their work. They’d wind up with a pole-shaped dent in their soft spot.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Where can I see this??? Haha

    • AP

      I had a mental image of an aquatic director leaning over a barrel of industrial-grade chlorine or muriatic acid with a baby strapped to her chest.

    • Edify

      Do it! And mix the cocktails in a baby bottle!

  • Heather

    The no bottle in bed (Or cup of juice at nap, sorry) Is not just Dr. Sears. It’s any doctor or dentist with a degree. It’s really bad for their teeth if they take a drink as they fall asleep and don’t swallow the whole drink. That sugar just sits there and creates cavities.

    • Bethany Ramos

      You are right, I’ve heard it before. But sometimes I’m so weak!!

    • Heather

      I’m not judging. Whatever makes them sleep. Just saying that the no bottle is not just a Sears thing. It’s your pocket-book if they get those weird brown baby-teeth. LOL

    • Mel

      Don’t the baby teeth just fall out, though? I’m all for good hygiene from birth, but if they’re gonna fall out anyway, who cares if they’re stained? What am I missing?

    • rrlo

      It takes a while for the teeth to fall out. The teeth losing starts around 5/6 and then continues until 10 (I think). So if you have cavities etc. it could turn into a painful situation and very high dentist bills….

    • Mel

      Okay, all of that makes sense! I wasn’t snarking, I just genuinely don’t know ANYTHING about baby teeth other than the fact that they fall out. I’m not a mom, so this hasn’t come up. Thanks for the replies! And, to whomever downvoted me, I really wasn’t trying to be a jerk. It’s all I knew at the time :)

    • Bethany Ramos


    • Mel

      Not even all the dumb shit that people ask Siri? lol

    • Kay_Sue

      Hey, she has the best suggestions for where to hide bodies!

      Not that I’ve ever needed to hide a body or anything…*glances around shiftily*

    • Mel

      Don’t worry Kay_Sue, we can be friends and watch each others’ backs! My previous BFF and I used to joke that “you kill ‘em, I hide the body.”

    • Kay_Sue

      They do say a good friend will bail you out, and a best friend will be there beside you going, “Damn, that was fun!”

    • thebadlydrawnfox

      Also, I’m nearly 24 and still have some of my baby teeth. I think there are three that are still the original teeth.

      I had a mega-disappointing time with the whole tooth-fairy business, as I didn’t loose most of my teeth until I was way too old to believe.

    • JLH1986

      Ha my MIL is 50 and just lost a baby tooth. So apparently some of them can stay! I didn’t know the rest though so I’m glad someone explained.

    • AP

      My dad had a baby tooth fall out in his mid-50s, too! He and I are both congenitally missing an adult tooth (same spot.) My baby one was pulled to make space in my mouth when I got orthodontia, but his fell out during routine dental work when he was in his mid-50s.

    • Rachel Sea

      I had my last baby tooth pulled when I was 14. The adult tooth didn’t come down on it’s own, and it’s the pressure of the adult tooth that dissolves the root of the baby tooth, so it wasn’t going anywhere without help.

    • JLH1986

      That’s where my MIL is at, she’s waiting for something and then she’ll have the to have something done to force the adult tooth down.

    • TngldBlue

      I said the same thing to my dentist because it just made sense! Alas, he was horrified so I was subjected to a nice long lecture about how the permanent teeth are developing even if we can’t see them so decay or issues can impact the “hidden” ones and if it’s bad enough that they lose teeth before they fall out it can cause crowding problems.

    • Julie

      Cavities in baby teeth can work their way into the permanent teeth behind them.

    • brebay

      I messes up the gum for the new tooth to come in and often the new one comes in screwy or not at all.

    • rebecca

      Yeah, this one I can get on board with. I’m a dental assistant, I’ve seen it, it’s ugly. Baby bottle tooth decay. My own nephew had to have $3,000 worth of dental work done, in a hospital, under general anesthesia when he was barely 3 because my sister was super dumb about it. But, if you get them used to water from a bottle instead it’s not such an issue. Hell, even water with a teeny squirt of flavoring would be better then milk or juice. Don’t worry about it affecting the shape of their teeth unless they have a bottle or pacifier 24/7. If they just use it during naps it’s not that big a deal.

    • Alicia Kiner

      When my daughter was teething in the middle of a really hot summer, I let her take a bottle of ice water to bed with her. It’s not the bottle at bedtime that is the issue, it’s the contents. I also let both of my kids take bottles or cups of water to bed when they were/are sick even to this day. The only thing I followed Dr. Sears on was recommended doses of OTC meds when I didn’t have the dosing instructions.

    • Kay_Sue

      We still do this with water. For some reason, my kids just like the comfort of having it by the bedside. Hell, I take a glass of water to bed with me most nights, I don’t feel right judging them for it. ;)

    • Rachel Sea

      Sometimes I find I’m thirsty after I’ve gotten comfy, and don’t want to get back up. I keep a toddler cup (one of those ones with the silicone straw that gets pinched shut by a cap) filled with water on my bedside table. I can drink out of it without sitting up, and if the cats knock it over, no problem.

    • Kay_Sue

      That is a really good idea. I just use a glass, and it isn’t unheard for one of the kids to knock it over when they come to wake me if they wake up before I do.

    • brebay

      My son has always had to have water by the bed…I have no idea why, it’s always still there in the morning.

    • Kay_Sue

      Same thing here. I hand it to them, they take a drink, I put it by the bed, it’s never touched again. It’s entirely psychological, I think…

    • Gina

      That’s so true. My dad’s a dentist and he says he can tell right away when kids have been put to bed with a bottle (with something other than water in it). The incidence of cavities and tooth decay is WAY higher, and not just in baby teeth. The health of the baby teeth impacts the health of the ones that will come in behind them.

  • phoenix81

    Awesome article! Sleep train, check. Soother, check. Baby wearing? Bah ha, neither my son or I was into that. And I always thought that pumping time meant time to play Candy Crush, no?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Thanks!! You are 100% correct – or to binge-read blogs. ;)

    • Nica

      HA! Pumping is when I caught up on all my magazines and newspapers!

    • Kay_Sue

      My Kindle was an essential pumping accessory. Pictures of my baby were not (except the ones already on my desk at work).

  • rrlo

    I have never read Dr. Sears books but his website is actually an excellent resource – especially for panicky first time moms. There is some good info on fevers, croup, little childhood illnesses, colds etc. And it is written in a easy to understand, non-scary way (unlike baby center for example). I learned a lot from it. I found his breastfeeding section to be very helpful as well.

    Maybe the website is edited by people that take much of the judgmental tone out of it. Or I only read the helpful parts – but I would really recommended for sound medical tips.

    Here is his page on fever – which I have read a 100 times over the last two years – it’s pretty great.


    • EX

      I agree. I actually used it a lot when my daughter was little. I just ignored the stuff I didn’t like or that seemed a bit over board to me. But it was my go to website for a lot of things. I was/am by no means an AP devotee, but there was a lot of helpful stuff on there back when I had no effing idea what I was doing.

    • rrlo

      Oh yeah… therefore Dr. Sears should predominantly stick to medical advice based on his long career as a pediatrician. Although he has some really weird thoughts on vaccines…

    • guest

      Yeah, I always thought Sears’ advice was really gentle and soothing, especially in the hazy sleep deprived early days when my baby was a colicky screaming mess and most of my family members, when i asked for advice, said I HAD TO GET HER TO LEARN TO SLEEP IN HER OWN BED OR ELSE. I don’t know. Something about his calm, gentle delivery really took the edge off of being a new mom who had no idea if what I was doing was right or OK. I’ve read his stuff about “high needs babies” so often in moments when I thought I couldn’t take one more second of screaming.

      I think every parent has their own style and instincts (and every kid is different as well) and finding an expert who has a similar voice can help give us more confidence that what we are choosing to do with our child is OK.

  • C.J.

    I remember seeing somewhere, either in an article or an interview, that he didn’t have a very good childhood. I assume this is why he gives advice so far the other way. I don’t think his way of doing things is feasible for everyone. If it works for you, great. If something else works for you, that’s great too. Personally I think all this labelling of parenting styles and judging people for not following your style is very bad for mom’s and families. Most mothers are going to do a great job on their own even without reading the latest book on how you “should” parent. No parenting style is going to work for all children. I have 2 children and parent the differently because they are 2 different people and what works for one may not work for the other.

  • rrlo

    Hmm Bethany, normally I am fully behind your articles, but I just went back and re-read some of Dr. Sears stuff on the website and I have to say many of these are taken out of context.
    Like the bottle feeding recommendation is actually very standard. Dr. Sears is recommending not introducing a bottle until 3 weeks in order to ensure successful breastfeeding- I have read that in countless other website and heard it from medical caregivers. If breastfeeding is going well and someone wants to breastfeed – it’s probably a good idea to delay the bottle until 3 weeks.

    And then at the bottom of the article it says “You can combine breastfeeding and formula feeding”

    • rrlo

      Most of these are taken from an article entitled “20 Tips for Working and Breastfeeding” btw. I think that’s where the pumping and picture comes from too – I believe he is saying some women have easier time with let down while they are pumping if they are thinking about the baby. It’s not bad advice actually…
      Sorry to keep harping on – I am not a Dr. Sears fangirl or anything. I just don’t want people to dismiss good advice simply because they disagree with some of what he says.

    • Bethany Ramos

      You are representing the other POV, and I totally appreciate that. I don’t consider you a fangirl by any means. ;)

  • Tinyfaeri

    I work from home, and when my daughter was an infant, the only way I could get her to nap during the day sometimes was to put her in a Moby wrap and bounce on the balance ball I use for a desk chair while working. It wasn’t because anyone told me to, it was because nothing else would work and I have deadlines and a schedule to keep. Was it ideal? No, but you do what you gotta do. As far as the picture of your child while nursing, it’s been shown (by others besides Sears) that if you have problems pumping enough, looking at a picture of your child or listening to a recording of your child during will help you pump more milk. Otherwise, Sears is just like Ferber or anyone else who has an opinion they liked enough to write a book about: read it if you want, try not to assume they’re judging you personally (they don’t know you, and cannot see you), take what you need from it and discard the rest.

  • courtneth

    I’m not familiar with this guy, but a couple of these are good tips. I don’t know the context of the one about looking at a picture of your baby while pumping, but I had a very hard time getting milk to come out when I pumped and that was one of the tips I read. Something about how seeing your baby can make your boobies think it’s time to feed or something. I don’t know what the point would be otherwise, though.

    Also the bottle at bedtime one. I’ve read that many places as well, and other commenters have already given the reasons it’s not a good idea. I know all those teeth are gonna fall out, but that doesn’t mean cavities don’t need to be filled, and dental work is expensive!

    But I think the rest fall into the “whatever works for you” category, and it’s definitely not cool if he tries to make you feel guilty if you can’t do those things.

  • Jessica

    I am not a Dr. Sears fan because I did have some serious PPD (though I am not the commenter above) with my first child. I had to go back to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave, and I would read the chapter in his Baby Book on Working and Parenting over and over. Some of his wording is meant to be helpful, but it only added to my complete despair over my situation. I even found the book when I saw this article because I remember it made me so sad. “Precious things happen when a parent is not around, shooting another arrow at the quality time target. Everyone loses when the first crawl, first step, the first word, occur and baby’s favorite guests are not at the party.” It goes on from there. So anyway, in the future I learned that he’s a pretty good resource on basic parenting questions, but his views on work/life balance do nothing for my mental state and I avoid his commentary on it.

    • EX

      That pretty much sums up how I feel about him – some really useful advice but not your go-to guy for issues related to being a full time working mom.

    • brebay

      Who the hell even remembers their first step, words, etc., much less remembers whether your parents were there? Also, only a douche would tell you you missed it. Good daycares tell parents something like “Oh, she’s getting so close to walking!” but NEVER “Oh, she walked today, you missed it.” It’s just good business.

    • KJ

      Oh for … I was a SAHM and missed my son’s first steps. I was even in the same room as him and turned away for a minute and suddenly he was walking. It happens. No reason to make someone feel horrible for missing it so that they could, oh, afford to feed the kid or stay sane or help others.

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    So when I’m pumping during his nap and when he’s asleep for the night I’m supposed to look at a picture as if I didn’t see him enough for the day already? Nahhhhh pumping time was time to eat, watch TV and browse social media.

  • raeronola

    I have been stewing over that “mechanical mothering” bullshit ever since I googled “Baby still naps in swing at 7 months”. You best believe that little turd is napping in his swing right now.

    • rrlo

      Calling it “mechanical mothering” is so weird – as if putting a baby in a swing is really going to make a difference. If the swing fed, changed, and birthed the baby, then perhaps the name would fit.
      Have you seen the movie “Babies”? One of the baby had a chicken in the room with him… A CHICKEN! If babies around the world can survive with chickens running around on their bed, surely the North American baby can handle a lovely swing…

    • Raeronola

      OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT MOVIE. I seriously think it should be required viewing for new parents. Especially American parents.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I put MK in her bouncer and bounce it with my foot for hours so I can do stuff like comment on Mommyish articles and eat some lunch. Not sorry.

  • Gina

    I have to say, Dr. Sears’ most damaging advice–don’t vaccinate, or subscribe to an alternative vaccination schedule– is actually what pisses me off about him the most.

    This non-profit run by doctors has a good article on why his advice isn’t just silly and impractical, but pretty dangerous to gullible parents:


  • Andy

    Yay, my original comment got referenced in a Mommyish post, I’m so proud! And my main beef with Sears is that he doesn’t seem to reałize that mothers are individuals with needs that have nothing to do with their babies. I’m a SAHM with a three year old and a four month old, and you better believe that at the end of the day, when my kids are fed, clean and in bed, I need some time to myself or with just my husband. This doesn’t make me a horrible, selfish ogre who should never have had kids, it makes me human.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I’m so glad you saw this post!!

  • Kay_Sue

    It’s about balance, like most things. Take away what you want, and forget the rest. To be truthful, I avoid parenting books like the plague, because I tend to obsess over the advice. Things like that are just what puts the “O” in my OCD!

    I have been known to Google an issue when it comes up, but typically, my first source is my mom, lol. She did an okay job with me, I think. ;)

  • Mystik Spiral

    Am I the only one who feels like the phrase “wearing your baby” reduces the kid to a mere accessory?

    Maybe it’s just me…

    • AmazingE

      No, it’s not just you, that phrase has always troubled me too. I know what it means, but I can’t help but picture someone with a baby tied around their shoulders like a shawl or something.

  • Jenna Nieves

    I still don’t understand how people “baby wear” for hours every day even if they don’t work full-time. When I’m not at work, I spend most of my time cooking and cleaning. I don’t think it is safe for me or baby to baby wear while I am constantly bending over (insert inappropriate joke here), using sharp knives and in close proximity to a hot stove or oven. I would love to just spend hours wandering around nature with my little ones strapped to me but guess what-I live in reality!

    Also, I have tried bringing my baby to work and guess how much work gets done? Nothing. Absolutely freaking nothing. I do it when my babysitter cancels but most of the time I just end up staying home because it is pointless.

    As for not putting your baby to sleep with a bottle. HAH. I didn’t do sleep training so guess how I got my little angel to sleep almost every night when she weaned from breastfeeding? A big fat bottle. Suck it.

    • Rachel Sea

      Babywearing around the house is easier when you can strap them to your back. When they are tiny and you need to hold them in front it’s much more limiting.

  • AP

    Dr. Sears sounds like a sexist pig. “Wear the baby, so your hands are free to make me a sammich, wench!”

  • Momma425

    Bring the baby to work?
    That’s great, seeing as I work in a clinic and am exposed to sick patients, half of whom are literally crazy, all day long.
    “Hi, I am your nurse and I will be rooming you today. Don’t mind me, breastfeeding here while I take your vitals.”

  • lin

    I actually don’t think most of his advice is all that bad. I had his baby book. He was against sleep training, but did say that for some parents exhaustion is just too much and if they feel they need to sleep train, they should proceed with caution – my wording, but that was the gist. Like if your baby wasn’t responding, lay off for a bit, don’t let them cry until the puke.
    Also, his advice for collicky, fussy babies is really helpful. Both my kids really responded to being in a sling. (I never called it babywearing)The difference in their temperment was amazing. So, for me, a lot of his advice was great. Also, his advice for mothers who want/have to go back to work and still breastfeed is intended for those mothers. I don’t know, that was my take anyway. I don’t think he seemed overly judgy about other choices.
    Also, the juice thing is totally real and a decision you might really, really regret. Not judging – I am not a perfect mother! Just that every doctor will say that.

    I don’t remember what he had to say about vaccines – I followed a regular` schedule for that. But if he is advocating against immunization, then he sucks, regardless of whatever else he has to say.
    Sorry, that was kind of long. Basically I don’t think he sucks, but that may have to do with the attitude I read it with.

    • rrlo

      I believe his son Bob Sears wrote a book on Vaccines. I never read it but from the description it doesn’t sound like an anti-vaccine book – to be fair. It does seem to play on the parents fear of vaccines though. I am not sure how Dr. Bill Sears feels about vaccines.
      From what I understand the alternate schedule is not nearly as well tested as the regular schedule – so I would rather stick with the known than gamble with the unknown.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    So, basically, Dr. Sears says: Allow baby to absorb your identity, take over your body AFTER pregnancy too, interject into your work life, and keep you awake if it sees fit.

    Eff you, Sears. I got shit to do.

  • Alanna Jorgensen

    #2 made me rage when I was a new mom and the ONLY place my daughter would sleep was her mechanical swing. Pretty sure I wrote a sleep deprived facebook status outlining my intense desire to punch him in his self righteous face after reading one of his articles.

  • Amber Starr

    I am currently staying home with my daughter. She’s 2 months old and I am pretty much at her beck and call all day long, so there’s no way she’s getting my bed too. Plus, I hold her almost any time she is awake, but if I have to go to the bathroom, she’s sitting in her swing or her little bouncy chair until I’m done. If she cries, oh well, I know that she’s safe, and I know that I will only be a few minutes at most…. This guy would have me believe that my child will be emotionally scarred or stunted for life because of this. I refuse to feel guilty because this little girl gets more love from me than I ever thought that I could give to another human soul……….. If I need 10 minutes to visit “The Library” and she starts wilin’ out, I know that she’ll be just fine.

  • SusannahJoy

    OMG that baby in the second one! Alien babies are so cute! Also, I love Ferber. As far as I’m concerned, that man saved my life.

  • brebay

    #5 & #6: How to lose that promotion quicker than you can say “nipple confusion.”

  • brebay

    #9: vaccinate.

  • Elli

    Did his books and advices change over the years? I am asking because I read 9 years ago his Baby Book and I was actually excited to see how *moderate* he was – e.g. about formula vs. breast – I remember he stressed the importance of breastfeeding yet said he understands there are cases when you just can’t (and then, how to choose what works for you and your baby best); and same applied for vaccines – he did not write in the book “don’t vaccine” but the way I understood it, the other way round: vaccine, just ask first, learn about the consequences, understand that in 99.999% the benefits outweigh the risks.

    Seriously, did his books change and he became more “extreme” in his approach?

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