New Study Claims That Smoking During Pregnancy Will Give Your Kid The Gay

157589333The professor of neurobiology at Amsterdam University has written a new book that claims that a pregnant woman’s lifestyle has a direct impact on the development of their babies. I think everyone can site some specific examples of how we know this to be true, women under significant amounts of stress are prone to a greater incidence of preterm birth, women who lack sufficient nutrition during pregnancy have a greater chance of giving birth to an underweight child, women who smoke crack daily will probably have an infant addicted to crack. These sorts of things all sort of make common sense to the vast majority of us, but this study sounds like it has some weird science behind it indeed.

Wanting to get yourself one of those fancy new gay babies? Have your son have a lot of older brothers.

Want to have a daughter who one day may be gay or bisexual? Light a smoke and enjoy some synthetic hormones.

If you have a child with autism? That’s because you lived in an area with high pollution.

The professor and author, named Dick Swaab (which makes him sound more credible because it brings to mind frightening physical exams involving men’s genital areas and Q-tips) was quoted as saying this by the Telegraph.UK:

“Pregnant women suffering from stress are also more likely to have homosexual children of both genders because their raised level of the stress hormone cortisol affects the production of foetal sex hormones.”

He said the brain in foetuses begins to develop at two weeks, with anything that introduces toxins into the body having an impact on this development. Studies show women who took synthetic oestrogen between 1939 and 1960 to reduce the chance of miscarriage had a greater chance of bisexuality and lesbianism in their daughters.

Swaab added: “In women who drink a lot, cells that were meant to migrate across the foetal brain can end up leaving the brain altogether.

The article sadly doesn’t list any concrete evidence or how Dick came up with the numbers other than “studies show” and considering I’m not yet a doctor I can’t really delve into the science of any of this but I’m curious to read his book. Unless it isn’t translated to English and then I’ll have no idea what any of it says.

But in summary, I think I can come to this conclusion: The good doctor here is basically saying this is just one more thing you pregnant women can feel guilty/paranoid about, unless you are like most of the moms I personally know, who will be happy no matter what sexual orientation their kid turns out to be, as long as they are healthy.

(Image: getty Images)

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  • Bethany Ramos

    So if you don’t have an issue with homosexuality, you CAN smoke during pregnancy?? Kidding, but I am too distracted by this dude’s name to grasp the study.

    • Tilla

      I agree, I’m finding it hard to focus.

  • Mai

    A generation ago most people smoked. If this study had any basis in reality, why wasn’t half the population gay?

    • Kay_Sue

      Or more, given how much smoking was popular.

      Disclaimer: I have no idea how prevalent smoking was, but I do watch the show Mad Men, which would lead me to believe that everyone and their mother, quite literally, smoked.

    • Eve Vawter


    • Jessica

      My mom smoked like a chimney, and only one third of us caught the gay. She always did love my littlest brother the most- giving him Stretch Armstrong, pound puppies, extra dessert, gayness… damn.

    • Eve Vawter

      I grew up with a stretch armstrong in my freezer. It ripped and it had red goo coming out of it but for some reason my parents put it in the freezer rather than toss it. He looked so sad all those years with gelatinous like blood seeping out onto the frozen peas.

    • Jessica

      Maybe your parents were hiding something in the freezer that only a mangled Stretch Armstrong could guard? My brother chewed one of the arms of his to see what was inside. While my mom gave him the gayness, she did not give him the brightness.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Extra dessert = gayness = science.

  • Kay_Sue

    Well, now that ultra-conservative set can add some “science” to their attempts to remain pure of the Gay.

  • March

    Swaab’s “Wij zijn ons brein” (We Are Our Brain) has probably been translated into English, although I’ll admit that its being a giant hype in the Netherlands last year is no guarantee of going international. It was both hyped and venomously criticised when it first came out, and general consensus on the book currently seems to be “scientifically sound, but limited”. One thing is clear, though. The Telegraph did some serious pulling-shit-way-out-of-context there, and I’m not sure Eve didn’t make it worse.

    • Eve Vawter

      wait, that’s a compliment right? ;)

    • LolliDollie

      You mean better. Eve makes things better. ;)

  • TngldBlue

    I call shenanigans. Based on my well researched anecdotal evidence this can’t possibly be true. My mom smoked through two pregnancies and my brother and I aren’t gay. My aunt on the other hand did not smoke and gave the gay to one son.

    • Jen

      I have some anecdata that suggests it could be true or not true. I have 5 sisters and two have the gay, but my Mom smoked through all but the last pregnancy (that sister does not have the gay). My brother has 5 boys but they are all still under age ten, so I will have to keep an eye on that situation. :)

  • keelhaulrose

    My aunt smoked through her first couple pregnancies, then quit. The third child? Gay. Perhaps residual?
    I’m going to release a study saying that moms who eat Taco Bell during pregnancy have stubborn kids. My proof is in the middle of the family room, fighting over a toy we have two of while the duplicate sits three feet away (I’d stop them, but it’s a no school day, and this wears ‘em out)

  • C.J.

    I clicked the link and read the Telegraph article. So smoking causes gay, too much stress causes gay, too many older brothers causes gay for boys, hormones to stop a miscarriage causes gay and pollution causes autism and these are all mom’s fault. I guess we need to all live in bubbles until the next study says bubbles cause gay. We all know smoking is bad but how do you get rid of stress? One of my closest friends is a lesbian and her mom has never smoked, I guess she must have been stressed.

  • Cement Block

    No ways. Gay Syndrome is contracted through boy-t0-boy cooties

  • Cee

    Wrong! You have a lesbian baby when you wear plaid during your pregnancy and a gay baby if you like glitter. Get it right, science!

  • Alex Lee

    Smoking during pregnancy. Are we assuming tobacco here, because the good doctor is from Amsterdam after all…

    This may tie-in nicely with my plans for a gay-friendly bakery in weed-legal Colorado. Fabulous weddings.

  • allisonjayne

    My mom totally smoked when she was pregnant with me. SCIENCE.

    Seriously though, have they for sure determined that wonky hormones are what makes girls like girls? Because my wife and I both had to have a hormone balance scan prior to doing IVF and we both came back apparently normal. I know you can’t compare individuals against statistics but yeah…I don’t know.

    • Rachel Sea

      The hypothesis is about the hormones you are exposed to in utero, not your own.

  • March

    You guys. Come on. All scientific findings, even those with such a limited scope as this one (which, by the way, is from 2012), need context. Where is the context? This whole entry is valueless.
    I do not agree with Swaab’s conclusions because he bases them on too severely limited findings (the man is a pure undiluted determinist), but you and the Telegraph are making the exact same mistake here. Read the damn book if you really want to know. Surely there’s an English translation by now.

  • sallyedelstein

    The notion that smoking during pregnancy would cause a child to be gay is as ludicrous as the notion that smoking is ok for pregnant women. In
    mid-century America more doctor may have smoked Camels but pregnant
    women preferred Philip Morris. In 1954 it would still be a decade before
    the Surgeon Generals report conclusively linked lung cancer and cigarette smoking, so
    until then my baby-bound mother blissfully puffed away while pregnant
    with me. Let up and light up was the advise not only in advertising but
    by doctors . My sugar coated kodacolor childhood would be spent through a haze of blue cigarette smoke.