• Mon, Jan 20 - 12:00 pm ET

None Of Us Have Failed As Bad As The Parents Of The #RichKids Of Beverly Hills 

Screen Shot 2014-01-19 at 9.22.52 PMMy world is a dark place, and it is all thanks to E!‘s new reality show, #RichKids Of Beverly Hills, inspired by the popular Tumblr, Rich Kids of Instagram. The Mommy Wars are officially over. No one could do a worse job than these parents – so now the rest of us are pretty much united in our superiority.

My name is Dorothy Wang, I’m 25-years-old. I was born and raised in Beverly Hills California, the best city in the world! (#alwayssunnyinbeverlyhills) My occupation is being funemployed and fabulux. (#funemployed #fabulux)

When I grow up I want to be… Asian sensation of the world.

In what universe is a 25-year-old a kid? I hate to break it to you Dorothy, but you are a grown up. Also – I’m pretty sure “Asian sensation of the world” is not a job. But what the hell do I know? I’m just one broke adult who after watching an hour of these horrible humans is pretty convinced there really is no such thing as Karma. Or justice. Or fairness.

The next “kid” we meet is 26-year-old Morgan Stewart. She has a blog called “Boobs and Loubs.” Thank god she explained how she came up with the name – she has big boobs and loves Louboutin – because I never could have figured that out on my own. I’m not kidding. How the hell was I supposed to know Louboutin was spelled that way? (Please see earlier reference to financial state). She estimates that she owns about 200 pairs of Louboutains, that each average around $1500.

That’s $300,000. In shoes.

The show progresses the way reality shows always progress; we follow people around and see how they manage to spend the minutes of their days. But these people are vapid, boring and they have nothing interesting to say. So we just follow them around doing what spoiled Beverly Hills kids would be expected to do – can anyone guess what that is? If you guessed shopping on Rodeo Drive and drinking Crystal directly from a double-magnum bottle – congratulations on figuring out the most obvious thing in the world. They also throw in a fair measure of bragging about how worthless they are constantly, because apparently being worthless is the mark of success in super-rich “kid” circles.

I’ve never opened my own bottle of wine before. 

Opening wine is the hardest thing in the entire world to do.

A few other major players make an appearance. There’s Morgan’s millionaire real estate mogul boyfriend Brendan, there’s Roxy – Persian princess, there’s Johnny – Dorothy’s self-proclaimed “very opinionated” friend, and there’s Magic Johnson’s son E.J. He makes an appearance in a sweater cape and Dorothy calls him a fashion icon. So – bonus; sweater capes are in.

You know the sounds an iPhone makes when people don’t turn the text volume option off? The incessant clicking of letters? Isn’t that the worst? The producers of this show thought its contents weren’t annoying enough – so they added that, too. Every time a scene changes – it’s presented in a “screen shot” of a text message composition. Blech.

25 and 26-year-old women are not kids. Dorothy and Morgan are able to fart around all day acting like kids because their parents endlessly fund their ridiculous lifestyles – so I guess the show’s title kind of fits. I’m just going to call it, Parenting Fail: Super Rich Edition.

I love reality TV and even I can’t bring myself to watch another episode of this.

(photo: Instagram)

Share This Post:
  • Sara610

    My eyes just rolled so far back in my head, I fell off of my chair.

  • CMJ

    I call this show: Kids of Rich Parents of Beverly Hills.

  • Cement Block

    In the end, I predict that these kids will learn a valuable lesson

    • brebay

      Yeah, that it’s everybody else’s fault.

  • keelhaulrose

    Why can’t the economy fuck with people like this?

    • footnotegirl

      Because the economy is built to create people like this.

  • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

    I was enjoying some Saved By the Bell this morning on E and this show started to come on. My husband was like, “It’s on! Change it quick! My face is starting to melt!”

    • Bethany Ramos

      The Saved by the Bell intro to your comment was all I needed to hear <333

  • Lilly

    makes me think of this, but at least I don’t have to listen to them talk, explain or otherwise vocalize their thoughts

    http://richkidsofinstagram.tumblr.com/

  • Vicki Lewis

    I’m going to go scour the internet for something like “rich kids doing charity work” so I can restore my faith in humanity.

  • Michelle Pittman

    there are so many great kids (i.e. REAL kids under the age of 18) that volunteer their time, go on mission trips and try to make our world a better place — why can’t we get shows that follow THOSE kinds of kids around

    • Sara610

      I know, right? Why do we insist on rewarding the most selfish, vapid person who’s willing to make the biggest ass of him or herself with fame? No wonder there’s been such an explosion of these types of shows–it sells, sadly. And we as a society are getting dumber for it.

    • March

      Because if someone offered, those kids would say “Ain’t nobody got time for dat shit!”
      Only the people who WANT to be followed around by cameras, get to be followed around by cameras.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    I just can’t watch stuff like this anymore. It just makes me too sad.

    • keelhaulrose

      I can’t imagine spending more on shoes than most people spend on a house.
      Of course, in real world land, the closest most of us are going to get to Loubiton (sp?) shoes is walking through some red paint.

    • Kay_Sue

      Or some nail polish. Pretty sure I saw that in a Buzzfeed article once.

    • keelhaulrose

      I’ve got a bottle of red and a date with a pair of shoes… think it would pass muster if I painted the bottom of a pair of crocs?

    • Kay_Sue

      That would be so effin’ hilarious. I would personally rock the shit out of some Loub-ed crocs.

  • LiteBrite

    This is why I don’t watch “reality” shows like this: the people are vapid, boring, and I just can’t relate to any aspect of their lifestyle. (I put “reality” in quotation marks because a) I don’t believe any reality show is true reality and b) These types of people exist in a world so far from most normal people that in no way can I say it’s “reality” with a straight face.)

    (Then again, I guess I’m pretty boring too which explains why E has never contacted me about a #NonrichpeopleoftheMidwest show.)

    But I do agree that opening a bottle of wine is hard. At least it is for me. Why the hell do I always screw it up?

    • MellyG

      My mother is an expert at wine opening – even without a corkscrew she can push the cork to the bottom of the bottle. It’s brilliant. I, on the other hand, can’t open a wine bottle with anything, not even the fancy openers. Screw tops and box wine for me!!!!!!!! Frugal AND easier to open ;)

    • LiteBrite

      I LOVE screw tops. I’m no wine elitist. :)

  • AmazingAsh

    I went to Morgan’s blog to see if she mistakenly spelled Louboutin with an “a” or if that was an error in the article. Unfortunately, I didn’t get last the top of her blog that proclaimed “for the girl creating her own future…” No. Just, no. More like “for the girl who will never have to do anything in the future that doesn’t include spending her parents money”. I may not have giant boobs (much less ones that anyone else paid for), nor a closet full of Louboutins, but I live in a tiny little house that I pay for with three jerk-face mutts that I take care of, and a two-year-old son. So, Morgan, if you don’t mind, I’ll just go ahead and take my title back.

    • Maria Guido

      Ha. I still spelled it wrong. I blame it on #poor

  • Kay_Sue

    I am 26 years old. I am not a child.

    This entire premise makes me want to rage-barf.

  • Holly

    It doesn’t bother me that there are super-rich people out there, it’s that they callously flaunt their wealth. The equivalent of one shopping excursion could literally change some Mommyish reader’s life. She could pay down medical debt, buy a reliable mode of transportation, or put a down payment on a decent apartment closer to a better paying job. It’s the fact that they just don’t seem to give a shit about the plight of the regular ol’ person. I wouldn’t talk about my amazing relationship to someone who just broke up with their significant other, and them going on tv (or posting to instagram) flaunting their wealth in this economy is really shitty.

    • Jessie

      Very true. However, you are not entitled to their money. They can be as selfish or as generous with their money as they choose.

    • jaynedough

      I agree I’m not entitled to their money, nor is anyone else. My point was that they should have a little respect for those who are less fortunate.

  • CrazyLogic

    I’m 22 and not a kid. I may suck at being an adult but I sure as hell am not a kid.

  • susan

    I’m going to sue the producers of this show for wasting the 5 minutes of my life I wasted watching this vacuous drivel.

    I need a gallon of eye bleach.

  • Ashley

    The fact that the title of the show is a hash tag makes me feel like we have failed as a culture.

  • Be Happy

    Why is everyone hating? If you guys would stop complaining then perhaps something fabulous would happen in your lives. It’s great television. But then again, this is a site for mom’s…. my mom loved to complain. Makes sense. Cheers!

  • Peter

    Maria, while i agree with most of what you wrote in your article such as these people really should not be bragging and they do not portray anything that we should value like hard work, humility etc there is one quote that i just have to question “after watching an hour of these horrible humans is pretty convinced there really is no such thing as Karma. Or justice. Or fairness.”

    what sort of justice or karma are you referring to? are you saying that these people deserve something bad happen to them b/c they happen to have more money than you? I’m not sure what you particularly want or expect to happen to them; going broke, getting sick, etc? yes they are rich, so what? that doesn’t mean they deserve any karma or that they cause injustice in the world. they just spend money a lot of money (mostly their parents, and whatever they make themselves, oh and E! also pays for a lot of this stuff for the “real” effect that is a reality show). And also as far as fairness goes, you’re right there is no such thing as fairness. But then again who ever told you life was fair? some people are fortunate, others not so much. Again this goes back to what type of karma do you expect? why wish some ill to befall someone just b/c they have more money than you or have a reality show. Maybe your not interesting enough to have your own show, or maybe you don’t have the drive it takes to acquire the amount of wealth that some of these people have. Her father is a billionaire, do you think he got that way b/c he was writing a blog complaining about other rich people and life not being fair? he probably worked his @$$ off for that. The people on this show do nothing, and will fade, like all reality stars (paris hilton ring a bell? her star rose and fell very quickly, so will these people) but just remember karma can be a bitch, and if these people haven’t done anything to harm anyone but you hope bad things happen to them, karma will probably go after you. negative thoughts or actions usually are reciprocated with the same, and again life isn’t fair… so deal with it and make the best of what you have instead of worrying or complaining about others.

  • JustSaying

    lollll so many hater moms, im willing to bet anything that my mother is one of them. i love this show though… maybe im crazy, but i just look at this as the adult version of all those disney princess movies i used to worship as a kid. all i want is a happy ending complete with jewels, expensive dresses, castles, servants, and a rich prince.. and these people have it all! aren’t we all sinners? sorry mom

  • Shawn

    I’d just like to say that as an author shouldn’t you know how to spell correctly? Especially after hating, to an extent, and putting down people? I’d like to inform you that Cristal champagne is spelled like “Cristal,” not crystal. Cristal champagne is not Waterford crystal. Please, learn how to spell properly if you are writing an online post as an author.