A woman in California recently gave birth to a 15 pound baby. That is like two also very large babies, or three kind of small babies. I cannot begin to describe the amount of respect I have for this mom. She deserves a medal.

Vanessa Cervantez, the 28-year-old mother gave birth via c-section earlier this week, and named her son Andrew Jacob. According to reports, he is the largest baby ever born in California. C-section or not, this got me thinking about the various things I’d rather do than deliver a 15 pound child. Such as…

5. Sky Diving

15 pound baby

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There are two things I am deathly afraid of, flying and heights. This combines both. Still, compared to the rigor of delivering a 15 pound baby, this seems like a walk in the park.

4. Montezuma’s Revenge 

I don’t think anyone would willingly get traveler’s sickness. I know I wouldn’t. Nothing ruins a night like being forced to pray at the porcelain throne, amirite. But a night of upchucking seems like heaven in comparison.

3. Fight Club

I know, I know, I am breaking the first rule.

2. Slap Bet

If you’ve never seen the How I Met You Mother episode, a slap bet is, obviously, a bet you make where you are slapped if you lose. No one likes being slapped, but I would gladly take a slap straight in the face if it meant not having to deliver a 15 pound baby (seriously, somebody get this woman a dream vacation or something, she is my hero).

1. Eat A Bug

15 pound baby

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I know that in many cultures, eating insects is par for the course, but seriously? I almost puked uploading this photo. I just can’t. I lied, I think I would rather have the 15 pound baby.