• Fri, Jan 17 - 12:00 pm ET

Moms Today Bore The Crap Out Of Me

157609199I don’t have more mom friends because they bore the crap out of me. Moms are boring. There, I said it. I’m sorry but I have NO interest in doing yoga or hiking or meeting for a coffee. I want some dangerous mom friends. If you want to smoke and rat your hair and drink some super boozy cocktails and throw the kids outside in the yard to possibly get bitten by snakes than I’m the mom for you.

My mom grew up with badass mom friends. She had friends who were feminist activists and moms with cocaine habits and mom friends who would try to kiss her during bridge games. I get invited for playdates where we discuss the pros and cons of public school. BORING. It seems like moms today are so terrified of being seen as BAD MOTHERS that they buy into this whole weird Hallmarkian version of what motherhood should be and the most risqué thing they do is NOT haul ass back into the Kroger when they get undercharged for teething biscuits.

There is a line between being a criminal and being a responsible human. I’m not saying I want to hang out with drug dealers or racists or moms who neglect their kids in any way, but fuck if I don’t need some mom friends who aren’t so scared of being seen as BAD MOMS that they have resorted to spelling out profanity.

Moms are boring. I’m a mom and I’m boring. But at least I’m not so boring that I have totally forgotten how to have fun that doesn’t involve playing Barbies or Legos or making a grocery list. And I don’t want to be boring! I am willing to try to remember me.  Where did we go? We weren’t always these women who cared deeply about what laundry detergent we use or what’s on sale at Gymboree. We used to DO STUFF! We used to have interests! We used to stay up all night talking about who we are and our hopes and our dreams for us, not just the people who came out of us.

I know motherhood is a big deal. It’s a huge deal – especially when you are a mother. I love my kids. I would do anything for my kids, but I’m at the point in my life right now where my entire identity as a human and a woman is not wrapped up in my kids. I care deeply about them. I take excellent care of them. I help with homework and prepare meals and pick out clothing and make sure teeth are brushed but I’m no longer spending every waking moment totally obsessed with my kids, like how I felt when they were toddlers. But the issue is, I know plenty of moms with older kids who are just as enraptured with them as they were when they were being adorable and shoving blocks in their mouths. I’m sorry, I love my teens, but one of the reasons I love them is that they can sort of start to develop their own interests without me having to be involved in them.

My kids won’t be little forever and as amazing as my husband is, he can only feign so much interest in MY interests, like exploring the wonderful world of tequila and various shades of glitter nail polish. It sure would be nice if I had just one mom friend who was interested in her kids, just not as interested as she is in things that don’t involve people who can’t even vote yet. And I love our Mommyish community and all of you moms seem like people I could have a lot of fun with, so I guess the only answer is we all need to move to the same neighborhood.

Get packing.

(Oh, and the cool mom friends I have, I don’t mean YOU obvs)

(Image: getty images)

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  • Bethany Ramos

    ME TOOO. Call me creepy, but I really consider everyone here on mommyish to be my friend. I have yet to find a cool mom friend that wasn’t already my friend before children. I actually did have one mom friend for a brief minute there, but the whole dynamic was way too mom for my liking. :(

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      I’m totally craving a Mommyish party because I’m totally bored with my “mom friends” too – I don’t really have “mom friends” that I hang out with, and even when I go out with mom “non-mom friends”, I’m totally bored…

    • Bethany Ramos

      Let’s do this!!!

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      Question is: Which city should we do it in? New York?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yes, and yay @Mel!!

    • Mel

      Count me in! I’ll bring the caramel pies :)

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      So, shall we make this happen for sometime in the year 2014 then? New York City Mommyish Party? I could totally be part of the “organization committee,” especially if there’s cake involved!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yes! I think Eve would agree you should be the committee chair!! I’m so in.

    • Megan Zander

      Why can’t we seriously do this?! I would love an excuse to pop into the city for a day, especially if we can arrange a jump off jaunt to Magnolia for cupcakes

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      Oh, I’m totally serious about doing this! Perhaps sometime this fall (to give us time to plan and save up and shit).

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Center around a long weekend because it’s a loooooooong way.

    • LJ

      I live in Oregon. DAMMIT! -.- Just bring a paper doll cutout of me and prop it in a chair, where ever you guys decide to meet. *cries*

    • Bunny Lucia

      Oregonian here too! We can carpool? …To the DANGERZONE!

    • LJ

      hheh-heh-heh

    • Bunny Lucia

      I know that feeling, I have a spot in my kitchen right next to the sink that has a heater so the floor is always warmer there. That is my “Slow crying wall slide” wall.

    • LJ

      hahahaha it’s always good to have a wall all mapped out for the occasion.

    • Bethany Ramos

      This whole convo thread has me LMAO.

    • LJ
    • oywiththepoodlesalready

      New to Oregon here! come on , I’m down with a carpool.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Oregon is also a great idea…!

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      I think we should find 5 cities in which it would be possible and put it up for a vote

    • Bethany Ramos

      So NYC, Portland, where else? Texas isn’t very cool, except for Austin, so I won’t be hurt. ;)

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      Toronto obviously

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      @EveVawter:disqus You haven’t stated an opinion yet!

    • Bunny Lucia

      If you want to do a big city there’s San Francisco

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yes, add that to the list!

  • VĂ©ronique Houde

    I was about to say that if we all lived in the same place, we would have bomb-ass playdates ;). Well, I guess the only solution is to go ahead with those ideas of buying a Mommyish Island… Who was made in charge of that anyway??

  • acadrag

    Most of the women on my roller derby team are moms. We talk about our kids, glitter nail polish, and skating and then we go knock the crap out of each other. It is wonderfully cathartic. Without them, I’d probably lose my mind.

    • LiteBrite

      I skate with our city’s roller derby recreation league. We do the same thing.

    • acadrag

      It’s funny how many lovely parents there are who apparently just need to knock the crap out of each other a few times a week. I love how family-friendly it is AND an outlet for parents to be their adult selves.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Goddamit I am so jealous. I love both skating and hitting people, and yet the nearest league is an hour and a half away and I would have to drive multiple times a week. Sighhhhhhhhhh…..

  • etbmm

    Maybe this is because I’m just the mom of a toddler, so I haven’t been exposed to the moms you meet in school, but nothing about this feels very unusual or unique. Don’t most moms wish they had more friends who they can be their authentic selves (i.e. not Mom) around? Can’t you do yoga, meet for coffee AND drink tequila and go bar-hopping? Is it that MOMS today are boring, or that you live in an area/school district/etc or you live a lifestyle where you are only exposed to the mundane side of your fellow parents?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      this is why it’s true, because I’m boring and not unique. hahaha

    • acadrag

      I tried going to the park with a friend and her “mom” friends quite a few times when my son was a baby. I almost lost my mind. Despite trying to talk to them as people and spending several hours around them, the only things I knew about these women were where their kids were in preschool, their kids’ eating/sleeping habits, and what their husbands’ did for a living. They seemed to have no other interests. It was surreal. Since I didn’t have a husband and had a job that I loved and a lot of non-baby interests I felt especially out of place. It took me quite a while to find women who I could connect with as a person as well as a parent.

  • Kay_Sue

    My problem is that, because I had kids young and was the first of my friends to have them, I’m now being inundated with New Parents. As a somewhat-on-her-way-to-being-a-Classic parent, it gets frustrating sometimes.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    Can I vote you all move here to Toronto? Everyone wants to move to Canada, right?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I love toronto

    • CMJ

      We will live at the Le Germain and eat Peter’s Chung King and shop at Magic Pony and go to shows at Horseshoe Tavern.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Peters closed :(

    • CMJ

      We’ll find someplace else!!!

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I vote Ethiopian food.

    • TashaB

      Ethiopia House at Yonge & Wellesley?

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Last time I went there, Woody Harrelson was there!

    • igottagetoutmore

      Toronto – hopefully i’m not a boring mom. Does it help that we have Rob Ford? Will more come or leave because of that?

    • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

      We’re eating at the Swatow in Chinatown or I’m not coming!

      Toronto rules. Houston drools. North side for life, yo. C to the anada, bitches.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Toronto loves you!

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      You meant Montreal. Admit it ;)

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I’m not bilingual. :( Also it’s colder than Toronto. I would move to Montreal in a heartbeat if it wasn’t colder than here. I’d move to Vancouver in a heartbeat if it wasn’t so bloody expensive.

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      I mean, I could totally move to Toronto tomorrow without having to look for a new job, but Montreal is so much cooler. And hey, french lessons are free!! ;)

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      True. But I think instead of ‘cooler’ you mean COLDER THAN A WITCH’S NIPPLE.

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      well at least we didn’t have a freezing rain storm this year :P lolz

    • ChillMama

      The solution here is fairly obvious. Rather than having one or the other of you uproot and move to Toronto or Montreal, you meet in the middle (ish) and everyone moves to Ottawa!

    • Bunny Lucia

      No,. We all either move to Vancouver or Victoria.

      British Columbia fer liiiiiife!

    • Jayess

      I’ve been needing a sufficient reason to uproot from the Fraser Valley and settle in Victoria. I think a Mommyish community would do it for me.

    • T

      Calgary is kinda totally awesome! I VOTE all of you move to Calgary!

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      I mean, it’s all relative, isn’t it? If you compare Montreal to Siberia, it’s super HOT! ;) But really, winter can also be fun :)

    • Emily Wight

      Vancouver IS expensive, but I don’t own winter boots and I just walked across the street to get coffee while not wearing a jacket. Move here, we’ll make it work.

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      LOL I wish Vancouver were affordable :S It’s beautiful there!

    • Toaster

      I lived in Vancouver pre-kids and I miss it so much! However where we live now we have a house and I can stay home with the kids, while if we were in Vancouver we’d be like two hours away from downtown and living in a 2-bedroom apartment and I’d have to work… I guess I can deal with some winter :(

    • Islandgirl

      Vancouver Island for the win!!! Not as expensive and it’s a freaking island in the pacific. How can you not love that?

    • Aimee Beff

      J’aimerais bien habiter au Canada mais j’habite maintainant dans le Wisconsin oĂą il fait assez froid pour moi … je ne peux pas imaginer dĂ©mĂ©nager plus au nord!

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      C’est pas vraiment plus au nord que ça, vu que la partie de MontrĂ©al et Toronto fait une pĂ©ninsule Ă  l’intĂ©rieur des États-Unis. Il y a des endroits au Maine qui sont plus au nord que MontrĂ©al!! Et il fait aussi plus chaud que dans les prairies, vu qu’il y a moins de vent…

    • Jayess

      holy fuck I can still read that. I guess those 7 years of French didn’t go down the drain.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Also, I’ve been pretty lucky with parent-friends I guess. Most are in bands or have partners who are in bands. Many are queer. Lots are activists, academics, writers, artists. My friends make me feel boring with my 9-5 non-profit job and hobby of ‘gluing crap to plates’ (crafting) as my writer-friend so eloquently put it.

  • Fuzzy Dolphin

    Eve, I am in full support of you kissing other mom friends over bridge (whatever the hell that is)

    Please write an article about your experiences with plenty of actual photographs

    Thank you

    - every guy ever

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      I don’t know what’s funnier- your support of her kissing her mom friends or that you don’t know what bridge is.

    • Fuzzy Coin Laundry

      They can be equal

    • Bethany Ramos

      Mom make out does not sound so “hawt.”

  • Lucille two

    There are a lot of dynamic moms out there. They might not be found at a playdate. Volunteering in political campaigns and through work I have cultivated friendships with intelligent, exciting women that happen to also be moms. Don’t lose hope!

  • JLH1986

    This is my fear of becoming a parent. That I’ll stop being “Jen” and just be “baby H’s mom”. I know that’s a fear that others have had and say that’s why they like to spend time with me. I’m not a mom so I don’t feel like I have to talk about kid stuff. Of course My favorite thing to do is drink wine and talk about bad tv and good books so others might not think I’m all that fun either, now that I think about it. lol

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You are VERY fun

    • JLH1986

      LOL I’m a freaking blast around bottle number 2! :)

    • Alicia Kiner

      Aren’t we all ;)

    • oywiththepoodlesalready

      I can’t stop thinking about this article. It’s made me want to be in a gang of cool moms (or not mom’s) so much more than I already wanted to be. I mean, I just want an evening out where the main focus isn’t the kids…we used to have lives, has everyone I know forgotten this? Where can I find some cool ladies to hang with? Where can a conversation about cilantro happen? If I busted out with half the stuff I really think around these boring people, I’d be banned. sigh.

    • JLH1986

      I wonder if that’s a potential Craigslist posting (for the noncreepers). Wanted: Cool moms who talk about cilantro, drink wine and not talk about what diaper brand is best. Also cannot be a sanctimommy.

  • heisenfeature

    This is part of why I joined roller derby this year. There are moms and non moms and we have stuff in common. (At work I talk kids with dads – several of the company have just had kids or are having them this year. I’m in software. Not a lot of moms.)

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I so badly want one of you derby mamas to pitch me a feature called “I’m a derby mom and I will kick your ass”

    • LiteBrite

      I’ve actually found that many of the derby women I know are some of the kindest most compassionate people on the planet. They’re teachers, social workers, etc. They would never dream of kicking someone’s ass in regular life.

      But get them in skates and on a flat track and they will cut a bitch. It’s an interesting contradiction.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      GODDAMMIT Stop making me jealous! :)

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    The moms I know never seem to be with their kids. They’re working, travelling, partying, getting their hair and makeup done. Like WTF? Who has money and time for that? I actually feel embarrassed being around some of my former friends because they make me feel bad I don’t have the money or the babysitters to do the things they do. Womp.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      wanna braid each other’s hair?

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      Ha! That would be awesome

  • AP

    I- and the bulk of my social circle- don’t have kids, and we’re all just as boring as these moms. We don’t really do anything but the daily grind of work, chores, and Netflix. Some of the financially better off ones have fun occasionally- like a pet, travel, or a hobby- but that’s it really.

    Plus, everyone is just so busy with their work and Netflix that they never want to hang out or return e-mails or phone calls within the month. Infuriating.

  • TashaB

    Tequila AND glitter nail polish?! I’m there, especially if we can also drink gin.

  • Alexandra

    I TOTALLY agree!! What’s your address Eve, I’ll come over with some wine coolers and an 8 ball .
    Lol

  • sadpandamanda

    Alcoholism is a major problem for moms these days. I used to be one and justified it by saying everyone else was boring. I was the bore. Life is much more fun now even if it’s boring by other standards. It’s sad that you can only be exciting I’d you do things that are harmful but that is why I see everywhere. I got sober and boring not to be a more fun mom, but to be a better, more present one.

    I also crept that most don’t have this problem. Those of us who do though are not helped by hearing how “boring” we are for not drugging ourselves anymore.

    I was a FUN drunk but a shitty mother. Now I’m a great mom but apparently a bore. Oh well!

    • sadpandamanda

      Sorry for mistakes. English is my second language!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      #blessed

  • val97

    Yes, I totally get it. Now that my kids are older, most of my female friends are child free or a little younger and not sure about or ready for children. I don’t know how this happened. When my oldest was a baby (14 years ago), I was a poor bartender with other poor service industry friends, and a bunch of us had kids around the same time. They were all fun! We gossiped and drank beer on the playgrounds of our crappy apartment complexes. 2 moves and a husband and career later, I don’t have them in my life anymore except facebook. It’s kind of sad. I know other moms of high school and elementary school kids, but I don’t ever hang out with them outside of school and sports functions.

  • Jen

    I was mentally ticking off my interests trying to prove that I am not boring, but guess what? I am totally boring. I like running, hiking, reading, watching TV and organizing things – I am officially a suburban mom cliche. I also like drinking vodka and beer, but I feel like that is outweighed by the boring.

    • elle

      Haha I was doing that too! Hiking yep, yoga yep,drinking coffee well no but I’ll drink green tea. Yep I’m boring but I was boring before I had a kid . We can be boring mom friends together Jen and maybe you can teach me how to organize my closet and keep it organized….then you would be my best friend ever.

    • jen

      I will organize the shit out of your closet while we drink tea!

    • elle

      Yes! Allegedly boring moms of Mommyish unite!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I’ll bring my space bags

    • Toaster

      I’m boring as all get out! Let’s be friends and have coffee after our run!

    • Jessica

      I was coming here to pretty much say the same thing, but I had to finish my coffee and go for a run first (well, try to until the YMCA kicks me out of Child Watch because my kid can’t hang.) Boring moms, unite! ;-)

    • jen

      We can all go for a run and all that, and maybe have drinks afterward to “rehydrate”. :) also, maybe we can discuss my running clothes addiction.

  • Aimee Beff

    I’m one of the only moms in my pre-existing circle of friends so we mostly still talk about beer, Cards Against Humanity, and science (most of us are friends thanks to going to grad school together so this is still a primary topic of conversation … sorry, significant others). Most of those guys have moved away after graduation and while we still keep in touch I’m nervous about my prospects for mom-friends here. I have a long way to go before my kids are in school and I can meet some hopefully cool mom ladies there, but at age 30 I’m older than most of my co-workers (lololol what an antique, right) and mom-friend prospects are slim pickin’s there with a few exceptions. Although I don’t know what I’m so worried about since with my current energy levels I think the best friends I need are a bottle of wine and my Netflix queue. And I guess my husband can hang out too.

    • staferny

      Cards Against Humanity is the only game that most people feel somewhat ashamed to win. Did you get the 12 days of holiday bullshit from them?

    • Aimee Beff

      I DID! I’m especially concerned/amused about the card with my name on it being added to the deck … Have you seen the Ladies Against Humanity tumblr yet? I forget if it was posted about here on Mommyish …

    • staferny

      I haven’t seen that, I’ll have to check it out. We’re bringing CAH on our ski trip next week. I see my name card being used in a Haiku, probably in conjunction with “2 midgets shitting in a bucket”, fun times.

    • Aimee Beff

      Staferny,
      Drinking alone,

      Balls deep in a squealing hog.

  • ted3553

    Ayiyiyiyi. I dread when my little one gets old enough to start doing things in groups which is coming quickly. I hear all these horror stories about MOMs!!!!! and just know I am so not going to fit in. I had my mom and dad watch my son last weekend so I could get together with girlfriends, go out to a nice place for what turned out to be WAY too many cocktails, and recover from my horrendous hangover all by myself. It was awesome and makes me a bad mom but IDGAF!

    • Rochelle

      I realize you probably meant, “Ayiyiyiyi” to be said with a sigh, but I first read it as a high pitched battle cry for some reason… Oh and to remain on topic, all the moms in my neighbourhood ignore me and I’m too socially inept to start a conversation. Ayiyiyi, my last neighbourhood was much friendlier ;).

    • ted3553

      Picture me saying Ayiyiyi with my hands on my head flopped back in my chair. Definitely more with a sigh than a battle cry although I may turn it into my battle cry as we start kindergarten and various lessons in the coming years

  • CW

    There’s a big difference between being friends with a political activist (of whatever sort) and being friends with a drug addict. Sorry, but I have no interest in associating with people who do hard drugs (or even those whose alcohol/pot use crosses the line into substance abuse).

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      which is why I said it above

    • CW

      You called your mom’s friends with cocaine habits “badasses”. I don’t think that doing hard drugs makes someone a “badass” but rather a trainwreck and someone I don’t want in my life until she gets herself clean.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      No way. Back in the day all the ladies did cocaine. Ok, maybe not cocaine, but they did all sorts of lovely drugs including cocaine and doctor prescribed uppers and all of that. Drugs were so much less scary then and oh please CW, I can totally envision you and me back in the day, calling a sitter to watch our kids and you offering me a bump while we were in the bathroom fixing our chignons while waiting for Bowie to take the stage. Until you spilled your martini on your Pucci dress and cried hysterically and we had to call a cab home. COME ON. I’m romanticizing here! Get with me! ;)

    • CW

      I grew up in an Irish neighborhood where drugs (except for alcohol) were very much looked down upon. Alcohol was different because it was approved by Our Lord (the whole water-into-wine thing), LOL!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      OK FINE, THEN WE would be saying Van Morrison :)

    • Gangle

      Eve, you have me laughing so hard the tears are streaming down my face and I am having a slight bladder-control issue.

  • Rachel Sea

    Cards Against Humanity is my new-friend litmus test. If they can’t laugh at the idea of my perfect date being shooting a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog, they can’t hang with me.

    • staferny

      I like to save the cards that make me ugly cry because I’m laughing so hard at their offensive hilarity for new people. That’s the best way to judge character. If you get offended by my sense of humour you can walk home while I find a way to use ‘a snapping turtle biting the end of my penis’.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      did you see there is a new one for wimmins?

    • Rachel Sea

      I’ve seen the Tumbler, but I don’t get most of them. I think maybe you need to have TV, or read magazines, or something.

    • EX

      I gave my sister Cards Against Humanity for Christmas. So, after my toddler went to bed, we were up all night playing. Best. Christmas. Ever.

  • meteor_echo

    Iunno, hiking can be pretty dangerous in itself. We have vipers, tarantulas, black widows, wild pigs and drunk drivers here – avoiding all of those can be quite a task.
    Then again, I’m not a mother, and my idea of “fun” includes painting and assembling plastic anime figures, reading and playing video games. I’m probably pretty damn boring.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ilikeswears Dusty

    I’m going to be a baby momma in less than two months and I have no mommy friends. I’m seriously considering the idea of starting my own mommy mafia. We will smoke in the woods next to the playground, give each other cat eye liner and oh so casually drop our gum in the hair of the mommy who gets the most frequent blowouts.

  • rebecca

    Try living in Austin and having children and then trying to find mom friends………Shit. We’re talking about totally impossible, as far as finding any “normal” moms. They’re here, you just gotta look really, really hard. I mean, REALLY hard.

  • rebecca

    And I’m in for NY.

  • Snarktopus

    Almost all my friends are male, and the ones that aren’t are single alcoholics.
    Uhm….I have to wonder what that says about me.

  • Steph

    I live in a fairly wealthy suburb of Oklahoma City and I can’t even with the mothers here. My daughter went to Catholic school for elementary and middle school and when I say the other moms were uptight and competitive, that doesn’t even begin to cover it.
    Unfortunately when I’m uncomfortable I fall back on humor…ok, sarcasm. That didn’t go over too well with the other moms. Once I was standing with a group of other women as we waited for the Girl Scouts meeting to break up. I cracked a joke about something and one of the other mothers turned to me and said “Oh, that’s right. You’re funny. I forgot.” Judging by the tone of her voice, she didn’t mean it as a compliment.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      well, if it makes a diff I thought this story was funny so that dumb mom can choke on a thin mint and die

    • Steph

      Thank you, Eve! And rereading my post it sounds like I’m bragging about living in a wealthy suburb. There are wealthy people here but we’re not among them! Sadly.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Work it you should be all #richbrag hee hee idk I basically think anyone with an internet connection and clean drinking water is pretty rich. :)

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      What a great way to go. Can it be carmel delight, tho?

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      I can totally picture her sneer and derisive tone. How sad must her world be that funny is a bad thing?

  • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

    I’m coming over. I’m bringing whiskey, cigarettes and a couple of amazing housecoats.

  • wakeup1130

    Can you please be my neighbor!

  • LadyClodia

    I know I’m late to the party, but can we talk about glitter nail polish?

  • Holly

    It took me so long to get pregnant with my first child that I took being a mom very, very seriously. I lost contact with the majority of my friends because I thought being a mom meant staying home and spending every waking minute with my little miracle. I have missed out on multiple girls weekends, and I’ve even refused weekends away with my husband because I couldn’t leave my kids for that long. Now that my kids are a little older, (10 and 7) I’ll go out with girlfriends maybe every 6 months or so. I don’t have the crippling mom guilt anymore, I’ve just gotten so used to staying home that it seems like a chore to go out. I am the epitome of a boring mom.

  • Sam Inoue

    You all should move yourself to the tokyo area I totally need nonsantimonious mommy friends. I hate attitude of pretending we are all super perfect. We all suck a little, why not have fun.

  • Rhonnygyrl

    I’m in Ottawa but I am totally meeting you all in TO with a case of red and a plethora of glitter nail polish.

  • NYCNanny

    Go to burning man and take your kids. That ain’t boring. It’s awesome.

  • ElleJai

    Clearly you should all move to Melbourne, Australia. Otherwise there are too many choices for the US/Canada and we’ll waste time deciding on which one to move to.
    Although I’m open to Argentina or Hawaii instead ;)

  • Amber Starr

    I’ve only been a mom for 1 month & 3 weeks and I’m becoming boring as hell. I need to change this ASAP because I refuse to be a boring mom. My kid is awesome, I’m awesome, and I need a cocktail right now.

  • Amanda Gerber

    I’ve had shit luck with mom friends since having my baby. I didn’t even have to read this whole thing before screaming for joy at someone understanding my pain.

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