My Baby Registry Support Guide For The Babies’R'Us Salesperson


Dear Babies”R”Us Team Member:

Thank you for taking part in our registration journey. As you well know, this is a big day for my husband and me, and of course, my baby to be. To make the experience as straightforward and uncomplicated as possible, these are our requests. Since babies “R” your business, we know you’ll be glad to oblige.

Baby Registry Mission

To us, an online click-and-add-to-cart registry didn’t sit well. Scanning in-store lets us be part of the process. The type and quality of products we choose could determine the course of our son’s life.

We will not tolerate BPA. We assume that all products on the shelves are not currently under recall and that product inventory is regularly updated in this respect. Strangulation hazards are a no-go, as are death trap drop-side cribs that are supposed to be off the market—and out of your store. Please don’t lead us astray.


We know that it isn’t feasible for you to close down the store and let us register after hours. We aren’t Kim and Kanye, so that just makes sense. But we do trust that your support staff will escort other customers away from our area of interest so that we can stick to the task at hand—registering.

We will also need ample cellular support within the cavernous store that is Babies”R”Us so that we can check and cross-check our registry choices with friends on Facebook and celebrity moms on Twitter. We use AT&T, so please confirm towers in the store proximity. If not, the use of an in-store laptop or tablet can substitute.

Suggestions from staff members are welcome but may not be taken into consideration.


We are not well-off by any means, but that doesn’t mean our son can’t have nice things. We have taken a Facebook poll in a private group for friends and family and have concluded that all gifts on the registry must be greater than $100 and less than $200 (median poll bracket).

“Disposable” gift items, i.e. diapers and wipes, will not be included on the registry. Family and friends will bring these add-ons to the baby shower separately, if desired. Technically, diapers are not a gift.

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  • Eve Vawter
  • Lidia

    Seriously? How spoiled can you be? No one owes you anything not a present or special treatment at the store. Your right your not a celebrity and you don’t get special treatment like one. Grow up and buy your own baby supplies. Haha, j/k, I’m trollin’…funny article. (And Eve, that gif is hysterical!)

    • Eve Vawter

      I was so hoping you weren’t trolling because that would have basically been the best

    • Lidia

      Haha, sorry to disappoint. And, CMJ, I would also like to see the gif anyway…

    • Bethany Ramos

      Man, I wanted to fight with you. :/

    • CMJ

      Man…I had a good gif already lined up…and then I read further.

    • Véronique Houde

      Post it! Post it! Let’s pretend she was a troll and have a competition about who can say the funniest/worst thing lol. We’re generally so nice that this can totally be therapeutic ;)

  • Kay_Sue

    This should come with a trigger warning for former and current Babies “R” Us employees.

    That dropside crib recall…*shudders* And the BPA suggestion gave me flashbacks to the days when Dr. Brown’s was the only bottle we carried with a BPA free option……..and we were ALWAYS out of stock. Because there would be a line on truck days, and they would be purchased within the first hour or two we were open…

    Really, a trigger warning would be nice. :-P

    • Bethany Ramos

      You came from the other side! You deserve a medal.

    • Kay_Sue

      I actually think I helped these parents register once. :-P

      The part on the APA sleep guidelines legitimately happened to our poor furniture supervisor once. He was the nicest elder gentleman, very kind and soft spoken, and very, very tall. The mother-to-be was very, very short and obviously quite hormonal, and it was both terrifying and hilarious to watch him stoop over to listen to her lecture…

    • Katherine Handcock

      I had a Storkcraft crib during the big recall…it took a day or so to get onto the website to request my conversion kit, a week or so for it to arrive, I put it on, and said, “Darn, it was handy having that drop side.” Meanwhile, I had friends freaking out, running off to buy other cribs, ranting on Facebook that nobody in town had STOCK on fixed-rail cribs (can’t imagine why not). I kept thinking, “You realize your kid is STILL more likely to be in a car accident with you than get injured by this rail, right?”

    • Kay_Sue

      We pulled fifty floor models, had to disassemble them, wrap them, and find places to store them until they could be shipped for destruction. Plus all the associated backstock. Plus trying to make room for orders for those same people that wanted brand new cribs RIGHT THEN.

      It was a nightmare. Absolutely nightmare. Especially when the conversion kits were typically free and arrived pretty quickly (we ordered one for my older son’s Storkcraft too, actually. :))

    • Katherine Handcock

      Oh, what a nightmare! I don’t think any of the places in my area actually shipped back the cribs, although the did pull them from the floor until they received conversion kits to include with the sale.
      My basic model, conversion-kit Storkcraft crib lasted for another year with my son, then 18 months with my daughter, and we only ditched it then because she was THISCLOSE to climbing out with the mattress as low as it went. We passed it along to another family, who was quite happy to get a crib for nearly nothing, even if it did have a “death trap” drop-side with anti-death-trap conversion.
      Seriously, I felt terrible for the crib companies and all the stores selling baby equipment. From everything I saw with my own, and my friends’, cribs, while drop-sides probably aren’t a great idea, since they do wear out, it’s not like they made something with a fatal flaw. You know, stuff wears out, eventually you have to replace it — and if you don’t put it together correctly, it’s not going to work.

  • G.E. Phillips

    I did my Babies R Us registry online, and then I went to the store a few weeks later because I felt really weird that I had asked for so much stuff. I wanted to speak to a Registry Professional about what I should take off my list. The Registry Professional was a 60 something year old man with an inexplicable Cajun accent (I live in the Northeast) who, after I told him why I was there, side-eyed the bejesus out of me and said, “Ma’am. The average baby registry has over 110 items on it.” I asked how many my registry had on it, and he said, “27.” He then handed me a scanner gun and demanded that I “get that baby some more stuffs.”

    • Bethany Ramos

      LOL – don’t know if you watch The League, but it makes me think of Crawdad Man:

    • G.E. Phillips

      Yes, without the masturbation hand gestures!

    • EX

      I LOVE THE LEAGUE! (Sorry for yelling. I just don’t know many other women who watch it)

    • Bethany Ramos


    • elle

      OMG I love The League. It is the best ever!

    • Sundaydrive00

      I too love The League!

    • allisonjayne

      110 items on AVERAGE?

    • G.E. Phillips

      I have no way of verifying it but, hand to God, that’s the number he gave me.

    • allisonjayne

      Oh I’m sure….it’s just so surprising. But I guess ‘average’ people also register for $100 place settings for their wedding, which I also find ridiculous, so….anyway I guess it’s not news that I’m not average here.

    • G.E. Phillips

      Apparently I’m not average, either!

    • Kay_Sue

      It’s accurate. You’ve got people that will do 40 pages of items. Our record was 52, and other stores in more affluent places had higher records….

    • CMJ

      When I did my bridal registry the woman told me to register for TWO TIMES MY GUEST LIST.

    • JLH1986

      Us too! I was like um no, we only need these 20 things. You know being old and all.

    • SusannahJoy

      Yeah, our lady told us that too. I thought it was weird. And she thought we were weird because we really only wanted her help picking out china (confession- I LOVE LOVELOVE expensive china. it makes me feel fancy and rich and elegant, even when I’m eating cold pizza off it while watching hockey). She kept trying to steer us towards the towels and bathroom items. Because apparently people register for shower mats?

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      lol my partner and I are big goth rockers. the only thing I have put on our future wedding registry is cash vouchers as we are planning a big metal cruise for our honeymoon-

    • Katherine Handcock

      I love using good china too! It’s been put away for a few years, because my kids are little, and the china I have is very special to me — it was my grandparents’, and the first dinner you go whenever you came to visit was on the good china, because it was a special occasion. Every time I use it, it makes me happy :-)

  • Megan Zander

    Love this ! my friend has made her baby registry solely on Etsy because as she said ” her daughter deserves items that are as unique as she is” I kinda love her for it, it’s rediculous and she knows it, but she’s doing it anyway. I’ll indulge her and order something, but I would love to get her some diapers too, if she wasn’t going with cloth…

    • Bethany Ramos

      Ermahgerd that is a different post altogether. Do it, Megan!!!

    • Megan Zander

      I’ll have to talk to the All-Mighty Eve.

    • Eve Vawter


      I say dooo eeeet, just have a strong POV

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      see, I’d be the bad friend who stitches little sayings on the nappies…
      Like “Little stinker” or “I dropped a load” lol

    • Megan Zander

      Lolololololol I love this idea! She’s actually really fun, she would think that’s hilarious so I may do this!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      glad you approve lol i was getting ready for Mommy-Rage =P

  • Theresa Edwards

    At first I was like Nooooo Bethany please don’t do this to me and then I was like

    • Bethany Ramos


  • robbie

    OMG I think I may know some of these people!!!!!

  • AP

    I thought this was going to be about the high pressure sales tactics of Registry Consultants. I almost murdered the one at Bed Bath and Beyond when I registered for my wedding. I said, “No expensive breakables because we’re doing a cross-country move within the year,” and he was all like, “Oh but you NEED fine china and Waterford crystal!” To smash into glitter in a shipping crate? Yeah, no.

    • aCongaLine

      THis made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that :) glitter. hehhe.

    • SusannahJoy

      We finally told ours that we would register for the crystal picture frame later, but that alas, we had an important meeting to get to RIGHT NOW. 2 years after the wedding, we printed out a couple pictures at home, and stuck them in a Target fake wooden frame. And I smile every time I see it. Because I look amazing. And he looks amazing. And we both look so happy. And I’m actually looking at the picture, not the gaudy frame.

    • Stellargirl

      OMG, some of the consultants at BB&B are the worst! I did a registry party event a few months back and the consultant pressured me so much. I told her we were having a smallish wedding and my family wasn’t rich so I wanted to register for reasonable items. She kept saying how it should be a “dream list” and pressured me to scan everything I even paused to look at. I left with a ridiculous registry. I had to go back a month later and fix it (this time I just got the scanner and did it myself).

  • Are you nuts

    I had to read this twice to make sure it was satire because I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THIS! Time to get new friends, I think.

  • Jo

    Hahahah love this! And, sadly, I know A LOT of people that act like this. And can we talk about the facebook belly posts too? yeesh!!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Not the belly posts…

  • elle

    Ugh I didn’t work at Babies r Us but I worked guest service at Target and I’m getting nightmare flashbacks of registries….Seriously people actually do behave like this.

  • Cassobeano

    Try working at the Babies ‘R Us online call center. While 30 weeks pregnant. I’ve never wanted to throat punch a pregnant woman until that experience.

  • LJ

    This is how my baby registry-ing went:

    Me: ERMHAGERD!! this is going to be so fun!

    (15 mins later)

    • Bethany Ramos

      Such truth!! Hahah we did online-only because we are laaazy IRL.

  • BexleyS

    Aww in England we don’t get to do any registry stuff for babies. You just get what you’re given :D I’d love to have been given nappies… Who knew they went through so many!?!

  • chickadee

    One of the things that I really enjoy about Mommyish is seeing the differences between pregnancy trends now and my own experience back in the 90s. We shall draw a veil across any discussion of 90s’ maternity ‘fashions,’ as that is simply far too painful.

    The idea of registering for baby gifts was not on our radar….if stores even offered it as an option. We just asked the mother what she wanted or needed. So registries are definitely easier, even though you apparently have to battle pushy employees.

  • Justme

    It took me until “budget” to get the sarcasm. I believe you owe me a few Xanax for the panic attack I had while I read and wondered, “what the hell happened to my Mommyish?!”

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