Pull your head out of your ass because a new season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premieres on TLC on January 16! Set your DVR, plate up the sketti, and get ready to watch a slow-motion train wreck in action.
Honey Boo Boo is an anomaly. I just can’t look away as she spews out crazy, nonsensical sayings while jiggling her stomach, like: “Spray tan’s like poop in a can.” and “You fart in your hand, and throw it at your enemy’s face.”
Clearly, Honey Boo Boo knows how to fend off an attack with her signature Cup-a-Fart wrestling move. Whether you love her or you hate her, you can’t beat her self-confidence. Though Honey Boo Boo may not be considered a role model in the traditional sense, there are 8 reasons your kid could learn a thing or two from the tiara queen of the south. Haters gonna hate…
1. She has a healthy appetite.
Honey Boo Boo isn’t shy about her love of food. I hate force-feeding my baby and toddler. There are days when I’d give anything for them to eat willingly—even if it was as gag-worthy as meat with a side of meat.
2. She has work ethic.
Say what you want about child stars and parent managers… Actually, I have nothing to say in defense. BUT you can’t argue with the fact that Honey Boo Boo is good at what she does.
3. She has a signature drink.
Some may say that Honey Boo Boo is what’s wrong with the world today, and her signature drink proves it—Go Go Juice, made of a mixture of Mountain Dew and Red Bull. Say what you will, but most kids don’t have a signature drink until they reach Lindsay Lohan status.
4. She has her own language.
If you ever watch the show, then you know that most of the time “Honey Boo Boo speak” has to be translated with subtitles. So effing what? Kids are known for making up their own crazy languages or speaking Pig Latin. Don’t be jelly because Honey Boo Boo has it down to a science.
5. She has body confidence.
I’m not going to get into a commentary on the whole toddler pageant scene, but Honey Boo Boo knows how to strut her stuff for the cameras. Sadly, this wacky kid probably has more body confidence than I’ll ever have in my life. You go, grrrrl.
6. She believes in herself.
Honey Boo Boo’s gotten tons of criticism, but she still doesn’t skip a beat. You’ve got a hand it to her when it comes to her self-belief and confidence—she’s such a BAMF that she refers to herself in third person: “Those other girls must be crazy if they think they’re going to beat me, Honey Boo Boo Child.”
7. She’s open-minded.
Honey Boo Boo famously said, “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little gay. Everybody’s a little gay.” So wise beyond her years… Honey Boo Boo is also awesomely anti-bully, so before you hate, check out her charity selling UR Anti-Bully Tees on Facebook.
8. She doesn’t give a shit.
Honey Boo Boo says and does whatever she wants, whenever she wants to. That may suck for a parent, but her coupon-clipping, stage mom doesn’t seem to mind. I may hate myself for saying this, but maybe we can all learn a thing or two from Honey Boo Boo about being true to ourselves—even if it frightens the rest of the world.