8 Reasons You Wish Your Kid Was More Like Honey Boo Boo

hbb1Pull your head out of your ass because a new season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premieres on TLC on January 16! Set your DVR, plate up the sketti, and get ready to watch a slow-motion train wreck in action.

Honey Boo Boo is an anomaly. I just can’t look away as she spews out crazy, nonsensical sayings while jiggling her stomach, like: “Spray tan’s like poop in a can.” and “You fart in your hand, and throw it at your enemy’s face.”

Clearly, Honey Boo Boo knows how to fend off an attack with her signature Cup-a-Fart wrestling move. Whether you love her or you hate her, you can’t beat her self-confidence. Though Honey Boo Boo may not be considered a role model in the traditional sense, there are 8 reasons your kid could learn a thing or two from the tiara queen of the south. Haters gonna hate…

1. She has a healthy appetite.

Honey Boo Boo isn’t shy about her love of food. I hate force-feeding my baby and toddler. There are days when I’d give anything for them to eat willingly—even if it was as gag-worthy as meat with a side of meat.

 2. She has work ethic.

Say what you want about child stars and parent managers… Actually, I have nothing to say in defense. BUT you can’t argue with the fact that Honey Boo Boo is good at what she does.

3. She has a signature drink.

Some may say that Honey Boo Boo is what’s wrong with the world today, and her signature drink proves it—Go Go Juice, made of a mixture of Mountain Dew and Red Bull. Say what you will, but most kids don’t have a signature drink until they reach Lindsay Lohan status.

4. She has her own language.

If you ever watch the show, then you know that most of the time “Honey Boo Boo speak” has to be translated with subtitles. So effing what? Kids are known for making up their own crazy languages or speaking Pig Latin. Don’t be jelly because Honey Boo Boo has it down to a science.

5. She has body confidence.

I’m not going to get into a commentary on the whole toddler pageant scene, but Honey Boo Boo knows how to strut her stuff for the cameras. Sadly, this wacky kid probably has more body confidence than I’ll ever have in my life. You go, grrrrl.

6. She believes in herself.

Honey Boo Boo’s gotten tons of criticism, but she still doesn’t skip a beat. You’ve got a hand it to her when it comes to her self-belief and confidence—she’s such a BAMF that she refers to herself in third person: “Those other girls must be crazy if they think they’re going to beat me, Honey Boo Boo Child.”

7. She’s open-minded.

Honey Boo Boo famously said, “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little gay. Everybody’s a little gay.” So wise beyond her years… Honey Boo Boo is also awesomely anti-bully, so before you hate, check out her charity selling UR Anti-Bully Tees on Facebook.

8. She doesn’t give a shit.

Honey Boo Boo says and does whatever she wants, whenever she wants to. That may suck for a parent, but her coupon-clipping, stage mom doesn’t seem to mind. I may hate myself for saying this, but maybe we can all learn a thing or two from Honey Boo Boo about being true to ourselves—even if it frightens the rest of the world.

(Image: thechive)

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  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    I love these gifs so much

  • Mel

    I’m sooooo not a fan of reality tv in general, reality tv using kids specifically. But, I have to agree that those are all qualities I would love to see in my nieces!!

    • Bethany Ramos

      I also want some Go Go Juice!

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little gay”
    Yeah, this just won me over.
    If only Irish politicians could be as open minded as a child!

  • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

    I love her and her whole family.

  • pixie

    I love that she’s a bigger girl and still does pageants that tend to favour smaller girls. And I wish I had some of her wacky self-confidence.

  • Andrea

    Uh, ok. But I’m pretty sure I can find better role models for my kids.

    • CMJ

      Of course you can…but…she’s just kind of refreshing and hilarious.


    • Andrea

      She never grew on me. I find her obnoxious. Just my opinion.

    • guest1234

      Of course you can, and then you could probably find better ones than the first ones you found and so on. The world has 7 billion people, so billions better than HBB and billions worse… UH, okay?

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    I watched the show once, and was surprised that they don’t actually seem like terrible people.

    • Bethany Ramos

      There’s also an amazingly hilarious parody on College Humor.

  • Jessieface

    **********WARNING**** RANT COMING*********
    I love this family.

    I have SUCH a problem with the hate spewed at this family. Sure they are overweight and uncouth – but the love they feel for each other is palpable, even through the screen. Mama June is a champion for loving yourself and passing it along to her daughters. She encourages curiosity, positivity, and fun. She is open about how all the money they make from the show goes into trusts for her daughters, instead of in her pocket. Alana is a; delightful, confident, and funny little girl. Her family is unchanged by the ‘fame’ and recognition. Yet the only thing people seem to see if how ‘unhealthy’ they are. Furthermore, Honey Boo Boo is a CHILD, yet people have no problems at all making fun of her in really heinous ways. It is SUCH a reflection of our views of overweight people. Sure people make fun of the Kardashians, and all the housewives, but none of them get the ugliness and hate this family does.

    ******end Rant

    • thefluter

      I am so with you! They clearly have their priorities straight — love yourself, love your family, and never, ever apologize for being what you are. All the hatred toward Honey Boo Boo et.al. smacks of elitism, and I just can’t get behind that.

    • Ashley


    • ted3553

      Completely agree. The hate seems to be because they are overweight and focus on family rather than how pretty their house is. There’s a stepdad who loves his stepdaughters and who treats his wife like gold and kids who spend time with their parents. There are a lot of families I see and know who don’t have this. I don’t agree with everything they do but there are a lot of families who could take lessons from them

  • sara pigna


  • Janok Place

    This is why I don’t have cable.

    • Fuzzy Dolphin

      Not because you’re poor?

    • Janok Place

      Haha, no. However, I have been poor. Do you have a point?

  • http://lawleramericanadventure.wordpress.com/ Nicole

    Farting into your hand and throwing it in your enemy’s face has long been a go to move in our family. It’s called a ‘buttercup’.

    • Bethany Ramos


  • koolchicken

    I may not believe in reality television but I suppose I could make an exception this once. I have to find out when this is on.

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  • bodytech

    Agreed, agreed, agreed! I wish I had half the confidence Alana has. You go, Girl!

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