• Mon, Jan 13 - 8:00 am ET

Body Shaming, Baby Bumps, Sexism And How Parkinson’s Disease Is Not ‘Fun’- The Golden Globes

NBC's "71st Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet ArrivalsIf you stayed up to watch all of the Golden Globes, I’m highly impressed. I did my best, but I started dozing off a bit before 11. I’m getting too old for this shiz. I can’t stay up until 11 on a school night, but all my running crew was up: The Gloss, Crushable, Gloria Fallon, and my boss, Meghan Keane, who gently suggested I cover The Golden Globes. But I’m old! And I’m sleepy! And I missed Downton Abby! But this happened, which made it seem OK:

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So if you fell asleep like a smart person or watched something else instead, then here is everything you missed from last night’s award ceremony.

Drew Barrymore Wore A Maternity Gown And People Were Mean. 

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 5.59.13 AM

Kerry Washington Wore A Balenciaga Maternity Dress. 

2014 InStyle And Warner Bros. 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards Post-Party - Arrivals

Kerry Washington is supernaturally beautiful. I mean, she epitomizes the PREGNANCY GLOW. She is just ugh, beyond gorgeous and I thought her dress was lovely. Look at her face!

(Image: twitter)

(Image: twitter)

Seriously, LOOK at her face:

(Image: twitter)

(Image: twitter)

Lupita Nyong’o Killed Everything With Her Dress.

Fox And FX's 2014 Golden Globe Awards Party

She basically re-wrote the entire dictionary entry for glamor. Amazing. She didn’t win for best supporting actress in a motion picture, drama, for 12 Years A Slave, which makes no sense to me because as far as I’m concerned, 12 years should win every award ever, it’s basically no contest. But 12 Years A Slave did win for best picture:

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Press Room

And  Chiwetel Ejiofor didn’t win either. Booo.

Amy and Tina were the best, as usual.

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Show

And Tina said this about Gravity: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” And then there was this bit where Tina introduced us to her illegitimate son Randy:

(Image: twitter)

(Image: twitter)

 

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  • Kay_Sue

    I did not watch (I am mainlining Mad Men on Netflix right now, so I can really only take so much body shaming and sexism) but I did follow your tweets, lol…which kind of made me glad I didn’t watch in a few cases…so it was a vicious cycle. :-P

  • CMJ
    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I would love Diddy to host an awards show, he was way more entertaining than Bozo who is NOT Mandela

    • CMJ

      Bozo is a total blowhole but that gif still speaks to me. :)

    • Ashley

      Will he be totally plastered the whole time like he was last night? Because if so, yes please.

    • EmmaFromÉire

      Just look at Bono, doing that thing all Irish people do when confronted with an embrace, he’s as cuddly as a plank of timber.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      we invented that move!
      i freakin hate bono anyway lol i think he’s a twat

    • tSubh Dearg

      To be fair, who in Ireland doesn’t think he’s a twat?

    • Aussiemum

      +1! For some reason, I can’t stand bono or U2. I’ll change the radio off before I’ll listen!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      Like that old joke-
      What’s the difference between God and Bono?
      God doesn’t strut around pretending he’s Bono!

  • break_time

    I found the Bing commercial kind of patronizing. I think we’ve moved beyond celebrating Margaret Thatcher just because she’s a woman, for example. Of course, Bing also assumes its users can’t sort through search results and needs something to do it for them. Or maybe I’m just sore because Idris Elba was shut out of TWO awards. Humph.

  • Cee

    I thought the Leo joke was the most epic thing of the night. Dude got told by TIna and Amy.

    • Carinn Jade

      YES! That one and the George Clooney one. Tina and Amy killed it – I only wish there were more of them.

  • brebay

    I really don’t know how someone without a financial interest in the outcome can sit through one of these things. A bunch of attention-driven people trying to be amusing on cue…it’s hard to watch!

  • EmmaFromÉire

    Lupita looked so beautiful i kinda wanted to cry.

  • Bethany Ramos

    I can’t even begin to understand the Michael J Fox thing… I’m assuming that he has a pretty great sense of humor to put up with craziness like that. Also, I am in love with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The end.

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    Melissa McCarthy looked amazing!
    I used to have issues with my weight until my mother told me “James Bond loves big girls”
    Turns out my hero at the time, Pierce Brosnan (james bond) LOVES big girls!
    She even showed me a clip of him hugging a curvy tv presenter, shouting ho-ho-ho, give it to me girl!!

    CANNOT find this clip ANYWHERE!

    • JLH1986

      His wife (who is beautiful) isn’t a small girl, she struts on the beach with him in a bikini. My thought is we all feel…icky…about ourselves but he has to be doing something right at home if she’s all “Take a pic of me in my bikini.”

  • pixie

    I think Drew Barrymore and Melissa McCarthy both look amazing.

    And I really do live under a rock sometimes because I wasn’t even aware the Golden Globes were on.

  • LadyClodia

    I made it through the whole thing. Not a complete waste of 3 hours, so overall a success I guess. Tina and Amy were really funny.

    I think Melissa McCarthy’s dress looked great on her! I was a little disappointed that the bit they tried to do when she presented and “thought she was Matt Damon” fell flat. It didn’t help that no one else was willing to play along.
    Lupita was absolutely gorgeous! She always is, though!
    Fun Fact!: I have never seen a Woody Allen film!
    I’m not shocked that E! did something so inappropriate with the Michael J. Fox fact, but still wtf?
    The thing that annoyed me throughout the night was that so many winners kept taking the stage saying that they didn’t think they would win, so they didn’t prepare a speech. Seriously, you’re nominated, so just write something up. I know they were trying to be self-deprecating in front of their peers, but it’s annoying to watch at home.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Apologizing for not writing a speech is next to people in my ear training class apologizing for their horrible singing voice in terms of pet peeve-ness. Everyone does it but it’s stupid, repetitive, and totally unnecessary. Wutt. I totally noticed that trend and I too was super annoyed lol

  • Kat

    A male on my facebook feed made a crack that Drew Barrymore should be taking maternity style advice from Kerry Washington. I’m tempted to give him a pass because he’s never been pregnant, but COME ON. Without knowing exactly when either one is due, Washington is probably in her second trimester and Barrymore in her third. There is a huge difference with regard to what you can comfortably wear in your second vs. third trimester. I would have given Barrymore a total pass if she showed up in yoga pants and TOMS because third tri sucks ass.

  • Tania

    That colour on Nyong’o. Good god, it’s amazing.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    So guys, my midwife looks just like Tina Fey. Thought I’d throw that out.

  • Michelle Pittman

    i only watched the opening montage but i totally gave Tina & Amy a high five when they heckled Matthew M (i think??) about him losing 45 pounds for a role: “Matthew getting a lot of credit for losing 45 pounds for a role, or you know, being an actress” — LOVED that comment

  • Lindsey Sweet

    I thought Drew Barrymore looked lovely! What was wrong with what she was wearing?

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