If you stayed up to watch all of the Golden Globes, I’m highly impressed. I did my best, but I started dozing off a bit before 11. I’m getting too old for this shiz. I can’t stay up until 11 on a school night, but all my running crew was up: The Gloss, Crushable, Gloria Fallon, and my boss, Meghan Keane, who gently suggested I cover The Golden Globes. But I’m old! And I’m sleepy! And I missed Downton Abby! But this happened, which made it seem OK:
So if you fell asleep like a smart person or watched something else instead, then here is everything you missed from last night’s award ceremony.
Drew Barrymore Wore A Maternity Gown And People Were Mean.
Kerry Washington Wore A Balenciaga Maternity Dress.
Kerry Washington is supernaturally beautiful. I mean, she epitomizes the PREGNANCY GLOW. She is just ugh, beyond gorgeous and I thought her dress was lovely. Look at her face!
Seriously, LOOK at her face:
Lupita Nyong’o Killed Everything With Her Dress.
She basically re-wrote the entire dictionary entry for glamor. Amazing. She didn’t win for best supporting actress in a motion picture, drama, for 12 Years A Slave, which makes no sense to me because as far as I’m concerned, 12 years should win every award ever, it’s basically no contest. But 12 Years A Slave did win for best picture:
And Chiwetel Ejiofor didn’t win either. Booo.
Amy and Tina were the best, as usual.
And Tina said this about Gravity: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” And then there was this bit where Tina introduced us to her illegitimate son Randy: