It’s no secret that I have a serious issue with how marriage is treated in the west. Personally, I’m not a huge believer in needing a piece of paper or a huge party with a white dress to solidify one’s relationship. But, if you’re going to get married, I think you should take it seriously.  I think this especially true for anyone looking to deny gay people the right to marry. You’re contemplating a life with this person, not just a fancy dress and a pair of expensive rings. Marriage is more than a party and jewelry, it’s supposed to be forever.Apparently the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williamsfeels so too.

According to Williams, who spoke at a debate hosted by a law firm, the trend of gigantic, celebrity-inspired weddings is part of the “short-term, unimaginative, emotionally unintelligent” culture of the modern world. While he was specifically talking about Great Britain, I think his words are true of most western countries. For many people, weddings are no longer a ceremony to celebrate and validate a lifetime of marriage, but rather a “day-long experience,” according to Williams. I couldn’t agree more.

Williams went on to say that he disagrees with the idea of prenuptial agreement, which he feels undermines the trust that should be at the heart of a marriage. I don’t know if I would go as far as to say people shouldn’t get a prenup, because they are an important protection for both parties but I do think it can undermine trust. Williams also said”

“We need to take a long hard look at the marketisation of marriage. That is the perfect relationship crystalised in the perfect wedding day – the immense economic, advertising investment in this massively fantastical experience which you go through on your wedding day, after which, of course, nothing is ever quite so good again.”

The average cost of a wedding in the US is $25,000. That seems like such a waste to me, especially since so many people go into debt to have a lavish ball. Wouldn’t that money be put to better use going towards building a life with your partner? Maybe put a down payment on a home, or put money aside for your children’s college fund. The wedding industry breeds feelings of competitiveness and inadequacy. If you don’t throw your friends and family a huge fete, many couples feel that their relationship isn’t being celebrated properly. Then after the wedding, plenty of people have a feeling of “what now.” Like Williams says, couples have stopped thinking of the long term and only think about that big day. I think it’s silly, and more than a little wasteful, especially if you don’t have the money handy, or still live at home with your parents.