STFU Parents: Live-Posting Labor And Delivery Is Just An Exercise In Narcissism

The title of a popular post that went up on Huffington Post this week reads ‘New Mom’s Uncensored Photos Reveal The Beautiful, Messy Reality Of Home Birth.’ Before reading through the numerous status updates detailing her labor and delivery, I already knew what this new mom, Ruth Iorio, had written. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that every woman who’s given birth has had a unique experience. No two births are exactly the same, like snowflakes or jelly-filled doughnuts (some doughnuts have WAY more jelly, you know what I’m talking about). And yet, having seen so many STFU, Parents submissions about birth over the years, I’d be lying if I didn’t say they all kind of read the same. This is because no one else can feel what that woman is feeling in the moment. And maybe, just maybe, no one really cares. I’m not saying that to be a jerk; I’m just not sure that this live-posting “experiment” some women have conducted has been revelatory in any significant way, despite whatever the Telegraph might have you believe.

To give birth, certain biological things must happen. The cervix dilates. The word “thick” gets used in ways that make me slightly uncomfortable. Contractions begin, and before you know it, a baby has been delivered. Sure, there’s a lot more that goes into it. Babies are delivered in myriad ways, and not everything always goes as planned. To parents, this process is compelling and unforgettable. But to friends and family, all that really matters is the end result: A healthy and happy mom and baby. That’s it. Sometimes, that’s all people really want to know.

There are a lot of analogies I could use to explain what I mean. For instance, do you want to know about a professional athlete’s daily workout regimen and diet, complete with photos and descriptions, or do you just want to watch that athlete perform during the game? How about when a chef prepares an incredible meal — would you rather know every ingredient and how it was cooked prior to eating it, or do you simply want to enjoy the meal? This is how I believe most people feel about reading through a friend’s labor updates on social media. “Just show us a picture when he or she is born,” thinks the average Facebook friend when scrolling through a half-dozen updates about mucus plugs and the baby dropping. Yes, birth is miraculous, but it also happens 370,000 times a day. It’s a blessing, but it’s commonplace. And to me, there’s nothing especially “revealing” about a new mom’s uncensored updates during labor and delivery — regardless of the method(s) practiced — other than the fact that she’s choosing to reveal those details so publicly.

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    • pixie

      I know a guy my age (23) who’s named Kian. But Temperance sounds like a character from a Jane Austin novel. Or a Shakespeare play.

      And that article you posted the other day *shudder*. (And why does she still call it a “natural” home birth when she had to be transferred to the hospital, given a blood transfusion and admitted the pain killers were the most wonderful thing on earth. Home birth with medical intervention sure, but it wasn’t ALL natural). I agree, diarrhea should never ever be mentioned in public or on facebook/twitter.

      • Iwill Findu

        Really cause Temperance made me think of the TV show Bones.

      • pixie

        I think I’ve only ever seen one or two episodes of Bones, but I’m sure I would have thought of that too if I watched the show :)

      • Jenn

        ME TOO!!!

      • Jallun-Keatres

        The pet name I gave my sister is Kyan… lol
        (I assume they are pronounced the same… /kjan/)

      • CrazyFor Kate

        I feel like naming your kid Temperance will have the same result as naming your kid Chastity – you get the opposite characteristic.

      • pixie

        I have considered writing a story about a girl named Chastity who was promiscuous, lol. And I feel that you’re right about that.

      • Allyson_et_al

        If my parents named me Temperance, I’d totally take up binge drinking just to spite them.

      • brebay

        I knew three “Angel”s growing up, 2 boys and 1 girl…baddest-ass kids you’d ever met. Pretty sure they were all teen parents, either before or after their stints in juvy.

      • Kayla Valdine Meyers

        My friend’s cat is named Temperance.

      • pixie

        I don’t have a problem with the name, just reminds me of a character from a Jane Austin novel or Shakespeare play :)

        If I had a cat I’d probably name it Herbert.

      • AP

        You like popsicles? Chris Griffin, won’t you bring me some good news?

    • CMJ
    • TheGiantPeach

      Birth is not a mystery. There are 7 billion people on the planet. I think we’ve figured it out.

      • Courtney Lynn

        This. All damn day.

      • Kay_Sue

        We’ve definitely figured out how to make births happen, at least.

    • Harriet Meadow

      My sister-in-law kept posting status updates while she was in labor, ending with “he’s coming down the birth canal!” I was appalled. Also, your comment about jelly-filled donuts in a discussion about labor made me gag and laugh at the same time.

    • Renee J

      I admit that for my last child, I posted to Facebook while in labor. I was there for a long time and, honestly, I was bored. Though, I stopped when things started happening.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      I recently read my friend’s tweets (after the massive ice storm) covering the chain of events leading to how she had to wait five hours for her train at Christmas. It was so hilarious and I couldn’t get enough, and it was essentially just someone waiting at a train station.
      With anything, it’s the details you share that matters. Birth itself does not equal a good story. No one wants to hear about what your cervix is doing because it’s too intimate and boring at the same time. Unless it’s singing opera or something. I would be up for reading about that.

      • pixie

        I read a few of those, too! Some of my friends were hilarious, others….not so much (more whiney than witty).

      • Sandy

        Exactly. If you have an exceptional spin, go you rock on. Such as if ol’ Dr. Rick from earlier today was attempting to deliver a baby to that particular woman. That would be comedy gold.

        (Not that I’m wishing Dr. Rick on anyone or their baby.)

      • Natasha B

        I read that story….can you imagine?? Dudebro delivering a baby. Platinum.

      • Kay_Sue

        If your cervix is singing opera, I feel like you have bigger problems than whether you should document or not. Like maybe they have overdosed you on the good shit. :-P

    • keelhaulrose

      In the HP article the woman had to go to the hospital because she was bleeding out, but have no fear, the posts kept right on coming!

    • rrlo

      I find it shocking that someone actually felt like tweeting or updating facebook status while having a baby. I didn’t even know where my phone was…

      Other than that, considering the regular updates on Facebook I get of pictures of food (usually from the younger crowd) or updates of medical procedures (generally from the older crowd) or detailed accounts of “cool” events attended (mostly from the pretentious crowd) – I am totally not surprised by this.

      In a way, a birth is much more of a monumental event in someone’s life than eating at a restaurant, getting a gallbladder surgery or incessantly tweeting about some uber-cool indy band no one cares about.

      • Nat

        My friend once made the mistake of complaining about people posting too many food pictures, he was right and none of us he was complaining too actually does that. However we took it as an invitation to bombard him with pictures of everything we ate for the next 24hrs. It was so much fun.

    • G.E. Phillips

      I posted a few times to Facebook while I was in labor, because people were bugging me for updates. Since I was in labor for almost 30 hours, my posts were basically like, “Nope, he’s not here yet, check back tomorrow” and then unrelated things like, “Hey, did you hear that Ricky Martin is gay?” and then finally, “Thank GOD, they’re gonna put me out of my misery soon! C-Section for the WIN!”

      • Harriet Meadow

        I did post on Facebook that I was going to the hospital (mostly because I thought it was funny that literally ten minutes before my water broke I was on Facebook asking for bets on when the spawn would come), but I don’t have a smart phone or anything, so I didn’t post again until a few hours after the baby was born and we were all settled in the recovery room and he was sleeping. And I had a long labor, too. Thankfully none of my Facebook friends bugged me for updates, but I had quite a few “Wow, we were worried!” comments after we officially posted the news.

      • G.E. Phillips

        Adding to the hype was the fact that my best friend’s sister’s best friend was in labor at the exact same time as I was (in the room next door to mine, no less!) so the sister was all over FB like,”Come on, G! Come on, A! Push those suckers out!” As it turned out, A and I had our babies on the same day, but A’s was born like 16 hours before mine. That bitch.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I had my dad post to fb from my phone when my baby was born because most of my fb are family/friends who were super excited (I later explained I didn’t post it). I took no video and hardly took labor pics though. Certainly not to fb!

    • Ilia

      I just don’t get Ruth Iorio. Home birth is supposedly safe and beautiful and romantic. She just glosses over the fact that she had
      - a life threatening bleeding
      - an ambulance ride to the ER
      - a blood transfusion
      -an OB’s arm inside her up to the elbow extracting retained placenta
      - heaps of industrial strength painkillers

      She then goes on to profusely thank the home birth midwives who failed to prevent this from happening in the first place. Not a word of thanks or acknowledgement for the medical professionals who actually saved her life.
      Also, where are the pics of her and her living room covered in blood while her husband wonders if he’s going to be left a widower to raise the kid alone as they wait for the ambulance?

      • brebay

        Good point about not appreciating the doctors without whom she would have bled to death. The pics I saw seemed really exhibitionist to me, I just don’t get this fascination with your own bodily function. I mean, if you can wiggle your ears or turn your eyelids inside out, fine, but EVERY moron can give birth, unless, I guess, they’re infertile, in which case they probably don’t want to look at this anyway!

      • Guest

        I lost my young, healthy sister to complications that occured during childbirth…people who have home births are lucky and….stupid. Wish I could have that kind of ignorance to see birth as a romantic and beautiful process, but sometimes biology and your body can betray you in ways you can’t even imagine in your worst nightmares.

        I know this is extremely rare, but when it’s your sister/wife/daughter who dies, or your baby…..rare doesn’t matter.

        Glad she is okay, wish she’d give more credit to the docs, nurses, blood donors, and EMTs that saved her live.

      • Guest

        I almost died (bled out) due to childbirth complications. I lost my fertility as a result. I lost the child, too (months later).

        THANK YOU for being the only other person I have ever heard say that “rare” is no consolation when it actually happens to you.

        I don’t think everyone should be scared into having like, 8 units of blood on hand and birthing in an ICU or whatever, but I do think we need to stop being cutesiepoo about majickal home births and minimizing the risks.

        I’m sorry for the loss of your sister. My family was so close to experiencing that.

      • Ally

        I don’t have much to add to this discussion other than agreement, but I just wanted to say that I am so very sorry for your losses, both to you and the Guest above. :( Sending internet love to you both.

      • Guest

        Thank you for taking the time to share kind thoughts!! Sincerely, second guest!

      • http://www.cafepress.com/ladycrim ladycrim

        I am very sorry for both of your losses. Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

      • Carolina

        This!! If this is an example of home birth at its best (and it may be, as no one died and the baby doesn’t appear to have been brain damaged), how in the heck can people advocate it?

      • ElAssimo

        Don’t you mean midwives of color? She was very proud of herself for hiring a black woman and wouldn’t want to have her totally accepting act ignored

      • The Great Queen Spider

        Honestly I think some are phonies, for the interest of being “special.”

      • Sparksinky

        At least from all I’ve learned about home births, it appears that the midwife did exactly what she was supposed to do. It’s for low-risk women, to begin with, and the midwife actually did her job in assessing that it was time to move to the hospital. It’s unfair to say the midwife could have prevented this. A good midwife is supposed to have emergency plans in place, determine when a pregnancy has turned into an emergency situation and call ahead to a hospital. She did all of that.

    • Stacey

      I tried to spare my family and friends. I didn’t even tell them I was in the hospital until after the baby was born. Several family members were monumentally pissed. I don’t know if they wanted updates on how dilated I was or what. My rule was more or less “If I’m not wearing pants, details of this moment are too private to share.”

      • Alexandra

        Stacey – yea this was my concern too, I really don’t want fam and friends at the hospital (i’m having twins and most likely a C-section which is major surgery) and think I will need time to recuperate – but I don’t want ppl to get pissed….how did this end up turning out for you?

      • Stacey

        Well, I guess it depends on the kind of people you’re dealing with. The family who was most offended were the people who had issues with boundaries my whole pregnancy. I made it clear before I ever went to the hospital that I wanted space. It’s not like this was a huge surprise. I ended up having an emergency C-section and they acted like I nearly died and no one informed them and someone SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST CALLED to say I was in surgery. You know, in the five minutes between when they threw scrubs at my husband and cut the baby out. So yeah, there ended up being a lot of hurt feelings and nasty messages and one sibling that initially refused to come to the hospital. Good times.

      • candyvines

        They were just trying to give you lots of experience with babies. You know, because they were acting like them.

      • Sandy

        Should have at least called? Forgive my ignorance but um, weren’t you and your partner kind of maybe a little too busy to make a f—ton of phone calls?

      • Stacey

        I was going to tell them the doctor wouldn’t let me remove the oxygen mask to make a call, but I figured that wouldn’t help with the “almost died” delusion.

      • MellyG

        I don’t get this mentality. I love my friends, i love their kids, but i have zero desire to be there for the birth of said child. My rule for when i get pregnant is that the only people allowed with me during labor are the doctor, the person that put the baby into me, and MAYBE my mother if i’m in a “i want my mommy” mood. Other than that, stay out until both myself and baby are clean and rested. Besides, giving birth is about YOU and YOUR child, and your husband – not random family

      • Stacey

        When I shared my “Please just give us space until we’re ready for visitors” rule (long before labor and delivery), my mother actually had a “We are not the enemy” discussion with me. The whole thing was a nightmare and I still feel like they ruined what should have been one of the happiest moments of my life.

      • LiteBrite

        When I was ready to have our son, I only wanted my husband in the room with me. (And of course, the doctors.) I also told my family to wait until the next day as I just wanted to process what happened on my own. My MIL was offended, but she got over it. When I told my mom, her response was “Why the hell would I want to come down to the hospital on a Sunday night when there’s a Packer game on?”

        Which is why I love my mom.

      • S

        I also expressed wishes of space that my mom didn’t care to respect either. She would have killed me if dh hadn’t updated via text through the whole thing. While I was recovering from an unplanned c section and struggling with breastfeeding she arranged for my aunt and uncle to come visit even though I had suggested earlier we could have a dinner when we were ready for extended family like we were doing with dh’s family (which she agreed to btw). As I cried on the phone asking her not to, she informed me that I wouldn’t understand and they HAD to come see me, we have a smaller family, blah blah blah.
        If we have another one I’m not telling anybody any details till I’m good and ready. I can’t stand family that make it all about them.

      • KJ

        WTF…. ok, if you’re dying, you’ve got better things to do than make phone calls. Like not dying. If you’re not then it’s probably good to focus on staying in that state.

        It’s molehills to mountains, but I had a wedding shower drama that had a similar vibe. Without telling the whole story (too long, no one cares, it capped with a a stern lecture that I “needed to learn how to let people love me” and stop shutting them out. About two weeks later I realized … damn, how is totally embarrassing me, violating my boundaries, and putting me in a really uncomfortable situation “loving” me?

        My thoughts, with that experience – if you’re close enough to me to throw me a party, be there for the minute-by-minute play of birth, or any other thing of that level of intimacy … you’re also close enough to CARE how your actions affect me and put my needs above yours at this time. If I’m the guest of honor … well, treat me like it.

        I’m sorry you had to go through that and with something far larger than a stupid shower. :( Some people just suck.

      • Tara

        This is pretty much always a good rule. No one wants to know about what’s happening when your pants are off.

      • jane

        This holds true whether you’re having a baby or a little cilantro.

      • BeckyBoo

        “If I’m not wearing pants, details of this moment are too private to share.” – I wish more people felt the same way.

      • MellyG

        That should be a facebook rule! Or just, ya know, a life rule.

      • Justme

        Then I guess I can’t share anything about my life. Ever.

        Because I hate wearing pants.

      • CrazyLogic

        Assume the British meaning then. The word pants means undies over there.

    • brebay

      Birth is NOT miraculous. If your hamster can do it, it’s not a miracle. It’s biology, not mysticism.

      • Kay_Sue

        My hamster better not do it. Bastard is supposed to be male.

      • hannaugh

        Lol, that is the best rule of thumb for what constitutes a miracle ever. They need to add that to the rubric at the Vatican when they’re considering people for sainthood. “Did she perform 3 miracles?” “Yes, but I think my hamster could have done the third one.” “Okay, not a saint then. Who’s next on our list?”

    • brebay

      Okay, her kids’ names are a little out there (or at least the spellings, Guinevere is really old school) but as someone born in the 70′s when at least half the girls in class were Jennifer, I’ll give her a pass on this.

      • guest

        It’s a nice name – but I think names should be spelt as they are, adding letters etc. doesn’t change the name, just makes it more confusing later on. I was reading a comment where someone spelled Jason as Jasson to be unique, it’s not unique it’s mispelt! All this does is set them up for a life time of correcting people!

      • brebay

        Seriously, if I saw that on a resume, I’d assume it was a typo, it makes him look careless!

      • phoenix81

        Exactly. I know someone who just named their kid Wenzidae….

      • Kayla Valdine Meyers

        No, you don’t. Please, say it ain’t so.

      • Williwaw

        I guess that’s supposed to be Wednesday?

      • rccola

        i have a small child at my school whose name is Dutton. rhymes with button. yup!

      • Lisa

        How is that a first name? It’s a last name!!

    • Ally

      Ruth Iorio, the woman who wrote this incredibly self-obsessed essay…

      http://gawker.com/5955447/ruth-is-heartless-but-the-world-breaks-everyone

      Can’t say I’m surprised.

      • Faye

        It’s hilarious because it’s such an unbelievable failure at being edgy let alone introspective.

      • Ally

        I’m pretty sure her son’s going to grow up and stumble upon all of this and just wither from mortification.

      • Gangle

        That was the most pointless, rambling, narcissistic piece of crap I have possibly ever read. Hemmingway and Burkowski etc were not brilliant writers because they drank and took drugs so they had something to write about. They were junkies who just happened to have some talent. I think she got confused.

      • Ally

        My favorite part is when she responded to the “haters” in the comments. Someone also posted her response to a bad review of her book. Talk about self-obsessed AND unable to handle any level of criticism.

      • Gangle

        I stop taking anybody seriously when they use the term ‘hater’. I can’t get the image of a moody 13 year old or the acronym ‘yolo’ out of my head when I see/hear the word hater.
        She is embarrassing to read and to watch.

      • brebay

        Holy personality disorder, Batman! This should silence all the “how beautiful of her to share this to help other women,” nimrods posting about her on other sites. THIS IS ALL ABOUT HER, as is, I suspect, her every fucking move. Lord help that child!

    • Tara

      Uggggh I hate people like this. I have one on my newsfeed right now. She has literally gone to l&d at least once each week since she was about 30 weeks. First it’s the “oh no, I think I’m having contractions! Please stay in for a few more weeks baby” Then the “hmmm…I don’t like how I’m feeling, should I go in” then the inevitable “Well, I went in and no dilating, I’m not in labor!”. Seriously. Every. week.

      • Gangle

        Oh man, I have a fb friend who is two weeks behind me in her pregnancy. So far I have posted one single update informing people that I am having spawn. She has posted pictures and/or comments at least once a day since she found out… seriously, so far, pregnancy has *not* been that interesting.

      • Alanna Jorgensen

        I bet everyone in the maternity ward collectively rolls their eyes when they see her coming.

    • Kelly

      I stopped at “Kian” and “Temperance.” SMDH

      • Simone

        Ohey, Temperance is a lovely and old-fashioned name that used to be very popular. That one’s okay by me. Kian, on the other hand …. well, Jayden / Brayden / Kayden comes in many forms… Kian is simply another manifestation of this badness.

      • tSubh Dearg

        Cian is an Irish name that can occasionally be spelled Kian. I don’t find it that unusual. Temperance though is def a bit on the old fashioned side and not something I would pick simply because I feel like the kid would turn out the opposite.

    • momo

      Not my cup of tea but it is their right to film and publish their life events and those who wish to view it should be able to. I know where that little x is on the browser window so there’s no reason to be up in arms.

    • val97

      Ok. I’m sorry, this is tmi, but I don’t know how to put it delicately. I had two natural deliveries (in the hospital), and there was a lot of fluid. I mean, I can’t even describe how much without being disgusting – it was like a gush onto the floor. WHY would anyone want to do that at home? Messy is how I describe my bedroom when I haven’t done laundry in a week. The bodily fluids involved in childbirth are not merely messy – I would have to burn my linens and get new carpet if that happened in my home.

      • Natasha B

        THIS. Seriously. Plus blood and everything? I’ll let the sanitation crew handle that, k?

      • brebay

        Seriously. The best part of the “experience” is bringing a nice clean baby home to a nice, reasonably clean place that isn’t the same place where you just shit yourself, “fluidated” all over the floor and had the most painful experience of your life….and possibly screamed some things at your husband that you can never, ever, ever take back. Who needs a reminder of that every time you walk past that discolored spot on the carpet?

      • MellyG

        I’ve thought about this too. Unless you can afford an industrial cleaning crew and new everything, who wants to be home with an infant, exhausted after birthing the infant, and worry about blood and other fluids and other crap, literally, all over the carpet? I suppose you can put down plastic or something, but that would make me feel really uncomfortable (and isn’t that the home birth purpose?) and someone STILL has to dispose of it. I hate cleaning up after myself when i’ve been sick – ew. I imagine it was 10x worse when you’ve given birth. I sincerely want to know from the home birth crew who cleans?

      • Nat

        When my husband and I moved into our new house the previous owners had left us a note telling us the quirks of the house and stuff which was lovely. Except that she also mentioned that her second daughter was born in the master bedroom and I just hope all that mess was contained.

    • kat

      I will never really understand live-posting/tweeting your entire birth. It is one thing to update your friends and family every few hours but entirely TMI to update with every gory detail and every inch (er, centimeter? yeah, gross) of progress. And don’t get me wrong, because I actually think it’s totally fine to share your birth story. In fact, a friend of mine on FB just recently did. She wrote about the whole thing on her personal blog and linked to it on FB with a very clear warning as to what it was and who probably would and would not be interested in reading it. Man, that’s the way to do it.

    • Jess

      I feel like people like Ruth Iorio and the chick from this article are the kind of people who take 2 sips of beer and scream, “OMFG, I’m soooo drunk!” at high school parties. They should just wear hats that say, “Pay attention to me!!!”

    • jane

      How about actually being present for the moment? I mean, birth isn’t unique, but most women are only going to go through it a few times in their life. For some people it can be a transformative experience. At the very least, it’s the last moment you have before your life changes forever (whether it’s your first or 18th baby). How about you put the fucking phone down and try to actually experience the experience firsthand, rather than through a lens? (No matter what – at home, unmediated, c-section, epidural, at the circus, etc).

      It’s like the most extreme version of when people pay hundreds of dollars to go to a live concert and spend the whole time watching it through the screens on their phone. It’s a fucking shame.

      • Sandy

        Say what? Put down the electronics and be in the moment? Clearly you’re just an old-fashioned whackadoodle. Don’t you know that you must document every single moment. I gotta take a screenshot and Instagram this.

        PS – Really, if you’re giving birth at the circus, that would be awesome and I would like you to Twit that shit.

      • Kay_Sue

        Whackadoodle. I love that.

      • MellyG

        My mother’s best friend calls her a “Wackadoo” – i love it – i’ve never heard anyone but her use that. Also, i also want to see a circus birth – awesome

      • Williwaw

        Especially if the trapeze is involved.

      • AP

        I watched the first five minutes of Christmas Mass at the Vatican on TV. As the television crews panned the pews to show the processional of the Pope entering, it was a sea of smartphones and tablets recording. It’s a church service!

        I don’t have a problem with recording religious services, since many of them are milestones for people (like baptisms and bar mitzvahs) but Christmas Mass at the Vatican shouldn’t look like the audience at a Coldplay concert. Have some respect.

      • Williwaw

        I hope the audience didn’t do the Human Wave.

      • OnionButt

        I was coming on to comment the exact same thing! A photo or 2 during a show or an update during labor is one thing. The CONSTANT photographing and/or updating – not necessary.

        I used to be a bit guilty of the over-photographing stuff. I’ve since really let it go and would rather be in the moment than have 1,000 pictures that I’ll probably rarely look at. Again, a couple of photos is fine, but if you felt like you weren’t even at the event, because you were so caught up in taking pictures, you’ve gone overboard.

      • Persistent Cat

        Agreed. I saw Willie Nelson last year through the person in front of me’s camera. She took a zillion photos. He’s 80, he stands in front of the microphone and barely moves you’ve got the gist of the concert in one shot.

        People suck.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Unfortunately, I couldn’t add sound to this, but you get the idea…

      http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u103/wmdkitty/Useful%20Responses/Usagi_big_no.gif

    • Ginny

      She really couldn’t spell Guinevere the normal way? Really?

      • Muggle

        I guess even Gwenhwyfar was too y00nyyq for her.

      • Shea

        At least Gwenhwyfar is an actual spelling of the name, if you want to go all Welsh with it. Gwenevere is just weird.

    • ISAWthat

      I just don’t get what’s with this ‘having baby as community party/event’ deal. With my two, a call was made to grandparents & our best friend(s)”I think I’m in labor”. A little later, another call “We’re off to the hospital”. Then after awhile another call was made to the same “It’s a boy. Everyone is fine. Come see us this evening” (both boys were AM babies). The births were a wonderful, exquisite moment for my husband & me, something to be cherished, not shared. As were all its minute details.

      My philosophy? If you weren’t there for the conception, you don’t need to be there for the birth. And if I wouldn’t discuss the details of the conception with you, you don’t need to know the details of the birth.

      • MellyG

        Finally, someone else with my philosophy of “if you didn’t put the baby IN me, you don’t need to be there for the coming out” – unless MAYBE you’re my mother. MAYBE. But that’s because i have a feeling she’d be able to better deal with my whining than future baby daddy

      • Kay_Sue

        Moms are the best in the L&D room. I had my mom at both of mine. The first because I was doing it solo, so to speak, and the second because she was so damned amazing at the first.

      • brebay

        My mom still can’t say “period” around me, so I’m guessing she would be a fucking disaster with my lady parts actually on display, but I guess it depends on the mom.

    • Rochelle

      When I was in labour, being on Facebook was the farthest thing from my mind! I guess I’m a very private person, but I just don’t get it!!

    • Momma425

      Guess how little I care about what is happening to your cervix RIGHT THIS SECOND?
      BIG FATTY 0!
      Additionally, I am BEYOND positive that this chick will show up again on STFU parents the first time that baby has diarrhea, spits up or attempts to eat baby food. And lord, I can see the months and months of TMI status updates about potty training already, maybe there will even be STFU parents PICTURES

    • Blu

      I once had an FB friend post about her cervix softening when she was pregnant with her first. *Gag* (She had 3 kids in 2 1/2 years. Fertile, that one!)

    • Gangle

      I think Ruth Fowler may be one of the most horrible human beings on the planet.

    • The Great Queen Spider

      And they have super special names! So surprising…

    • RCIAG

      How fucked up is it that Temperance is my favourite name out of all of those names?

      Also doesn’t naming your kid Temperance pretty much ensures that she (I’m assuming it’s a girls name) will be a big ole alcoholic or addict of some sort?

      Guess she’s a Bones fan.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Avicenna, a doctor, posted a response to the live-tweeting home-birther. Not the Ducks – A Perfectly Natural Home Birth

      • Gangle

        Good article, thanks for the link.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      Maybe it’s just me, but if I am ever lucky enough to have a baby, I WILL be sharing non-ick details.
      My partner has 5 kids already so we would only have one and to hell with oversharing, if I get ONE baba, I’m damn well sharing every second of it!

    • CrazyLogic

      I can picture my having a baby facebook feed now… “FUCK!” “OW!” “WHY DID I THINK THIS WAD A GOOD IDEA!?” “I WANT TO STRANGLE THE GUY THAT DID THIS TO ME!” and various other curses and threats in all likelihood.

    • shellylou

      Actually, some women have the luxury of not feeling pain until it came time to push. My ballet teacher taught class while in the middle of labor (the hospital was thankfully only a block away) and another dancer I knew said she only knew she was in labor because her water broke. Both of them kept dancing until they delivered (litterally for one) so maybe that has something to to with it?