This week was amazing. We turned an herb into a verb, we made fun of other moms, we told horror stories involving our vaginas – it was pretty much a success all around. You guys had me rolling, and let me tell you – I needed it this week.

Today, Bethany wrote about Resources for Infant Educators, in her post, RIE Parenting: Where A Kid Can’t Be A Kid. This is basically a parenting philosophy that touts the benefits of treating your babies like adults. Oh man. It’s really hard not to make jokes out of certain parenting styles, when they are just so damn funny. Are we fueling the “Mommy Wars?” Probably. But I honestly don’t even care because I laughed so hard reading all of your comments on this story today – I feel healed of everything that ails me.


EX: If baby carriers and walkers are disrespectful to the baby then what about strollers? I mean, the baby didn’t ask to be put in the stroller. And what about carrying the baby in your arms? I mean, the baby didn’t ask to go wherever you are going with the baby. So, what? They’re supposed to just lie on the ground and wriggle?

Eve had the briiliant idea of having “Epic Death Match Between Attachment Parenting And Rie Parenting Mommyish 2014™” happen, to this response:

shel: Oh, I can just imagine! Though I’m picturing more of a Jets Vs Sharks…with the finger snapping and everything, maybe even some dancing… of course one side would be wearing babies… and the other side would be expecting their infant how to figure out proper street fighting without guidance of any kind.

Aimee Beff: No toys makes sense. Baby should develop hand-eye coordination by reaching and grabbing for a slide rule or a copy of “The Wealth of Nations”.

Kelly: LOL, I washed some of my cats’ toys the other day and didn’t give them back fast enough. One of them responded by shitting on my floor. Now I’m picturing these people’s children retaliating in the same way and I’m giggling like mad.

On to…

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I’ve always loved cilantro (the actual herb.) But it has never given me as much joy as it’s given me this week. We were dying to hear about the goings on in your bedroom – specifically, whether or not you liked anal. We made a cilantro analogy. The rest is history.

It turns out people are very comfortable talking publicly about things that you may think should be “private” when you replace whatever it is that you’re talking about with an item of food. Who knew? Hilarity ensued:

NotTakenNotAvailable: Every time a partner’s suggested throwing a little cilantro into the mix to spice things up (BAHAHAHAAAAA!), I retort that it sounds good, as long as he’ll be the taste-tester. I have yet to have a fellow take me up on it.

Alanna Jorgensen: Both cilantro and “cilantro” spawned forth from the vile hole that is Satan’s anus, pun intended. I will partake on special occasions because I am a nice person, and even enjoy it given the right circumstances, but I could happily never eat either one again.

Alex MMR: We like the idea of cilantro, but can’t seem to find a recipe to actually make it palatable.

Andrea: Cilantro should NEVER be added without warning. It takes a lot of preparation to handle it.

Salsa Sans Cilantro: I’ve sampled cilantro. I shan’t sample it again.

And I’ll just end with this little interaction:

CW: I can remember getting into a very spirited conversation with some of my college sorority sisters as to whether someone who’d had “cilantro” but not plain vanilla could consider herself as never having been a chef. My take is that cilantro does count, and if someone is okay with cilantro, she might as well go ahead and have plain vanilla because cilantro is gross.

candyvines: Yeah, if you’ve had a cock in your ass you are most definitely not a virgin.

 

 Okay, I’m stopping now. Blame Eve. She’s the magical GIF finder.
Okay. I lied.