200414629-008You probably arrived to this article in a fit of rage, assuming that I would be bashing co-sleeping, but I promise you I am not. I actually have some legit questions about co-sleeping and the family bed—a few logistical things I just don’t understand.

I never co-slept with my two sons, now two years and eight months old. I’m not opposed to co-sleeping in the least, but I’m also really possessive about my personal sleeping space and my sleep. We used a non-cruel scheduling and sleep training method for both kids so that they were sleeping 12 hours through the night in their own cribs from about six months on.

The schedule itself was really hard, but the results were well worth it. Now I don’t have to worry about either kid in their baby crib “cage” all night long, and I can go back to getting my beauty rest so I can chase a toddler and a baby around the next day.

But back to co-sleeping. I know a lot of new moms prefer co-sleeping because they can nurse at night and don’t have to get up with a baby. I also know several friends on Facebook that use the family bed concept.

So, what I’m wondering is this. When we put our kids to bed at night, we always put them down for 12 hours: 7 PM to 7 AM. As young babies, they did get up to eat several times in the night, but now they sleep 12 hours straight. Does this same concept work with co-sleeping? Does this mean that you have to go to bed really early with your baby so that they get enough sleep when they sleep in your bed? Or do you put them in their crib for the early part of the night and then transfer them into your bed with you when you go to sleep at 10 PM or so?

Also, how long does a baby or toddler share the bed before transitioning into their own crib? Is this a temporary or semi-permanent arrangement?

I would love it if someone could explain co-sleeping to me because there are a few details that I’ve never understood. I’m genuinely intrigued. I’m not planning on having any more kids, but I’m not sure if I could be a co-sleeper if I did. I usually kick my husband if he gets on my side of the bed, and I’m also a very light sleeper. In my personal situation, it seems like co-sleeping would have done more harm than good.

(photo: Getty Images)