The moment I popped out my second child, I was over-the-moon elated, even before they put that slimy newborn on my chest. Yes, I was really happy to be a mom for the second time, but in a sense, I was even happier to never push something giant out of my lady hole again. What a feeling.
Seriously, I really wasn’t a fan of being pregnant. I’m pretty sure every person in my life knew it too because I always gave them the evil side-eye when they asked the dreaded question, “How are you FEELING?”
I blamed my ragey lady hormones for that one, as much as I could get away with it. I just really didn’t like sharing my body for nine months, and I also didn’t like the anticipation of when my little bundle of joy was going to make his grand appearance. Okay, okay, I’m kind of anal, and I don’t like surprises. So sue me.
As an aside, I know that these kinds of bitchfests are really annoying for women that have difficulty conceiving or are struggling with infertility. For that, I’m truly sorry. But on the other side of the coin, I know there are still plenty of women like myself that were happy to get the “jail sentence” of pregnancy over with and move on to the good stuff—BABIES AND TODDLERS, OH MY!
Just recently, a friend of mine on Facebook shared that she would be starting the surrogacy journey. No, she wasn’t in need of a surrogate; she already has two healthy kids. She is a stay-at-home mom that decided to offer her oven up to another couple in need, and I think that is absolutely amazing. I could never do it myself, but I admire someone who could.
So far, this friend has been documenting her surrogacy experience through her personal blog and on Facebook. So far, surrogacy seems even more complicated and heart wrenching than your average pregnancy. She’s had to fly out for a number of specialty doctor’s visits and to meet the prospective parents. She had one experience where the pregnancy didn’t take, and she was heartbroken. I would have been too.
But just a few weeks ago, she got the wonderful news that all of this surrogacy business finally worked out in her favor. She’s pregnant with another couple’s baby, and she has nine months to go before she delivers the goods.
Maybe if I wasn’t such a douchebag, I’d consider the idea of surrogacy. I kid, but really—I don’t think I’d ever be cut out for such a job. First things first, I wasn’t very strict with my personal rules during pregnancy. I drank wine and caffeine moderately, and I also had sushi whenever I wanted.
I don’t know the specific guidelines laid out in a surrogacy contract, but I would assume that if a biological mother wouldn’t drink coffee or wine herself while pregnant, then she probably wouldn’t want her surrogate doing it either.
I personally would feel a huge burden to keep my health top-notch because I wouldn’t want to be responsible for hurting someone else’s chances of having a baby. Obviously, I cared very much about my kids’ well-being while I was pregnant with them, but something about answering to another set of parents makes me nervous just thinking about it.
Then there’s the money. I’m in no way suggesting that my friend signed up to be a surrogate just for the money because she’s a truly kind and compassionate person. She also had two healthy pregnancies and seemed to be a great person for the job.
I checked on a few surrogacy websites and saw that the pay ranged from $27,000 up to $37,500 for an experienced surrogate mom. One website even offered experienced surrogates $5000 extra for each additional pregnancy. Depending on how pregnancy treated you and how it impacted your health over the long run, it almost seems like you could make a career out of this—if you really liked being pregnant.
My friend is the only one I’ve known personally that has ever successfully become a surrogate, and I really am rooting for her every step of the way. I’m sure she’ll share with me in the future about what it was like to part with a baby that was in her womb for nine months, and I can’t wait to hear her perspective. It’s tough to imagine what kind of emotions would come up after going through the whole birth experience again on behalf of another couple, but my friend is a tough cookie and will probably handle it well. (Yet another reason why I’m not feeling the surrogacy vibe!)
As for myself, I don’t think you could pay me any amount of money to put another baby in my body, even if it equated to a year’s salary. I know my husband would agree since I was a less-than-pleasant pregnant person for two 9 month cycles. He probably wouldn’t sign up for my lady rage again without a baby to look forward to at the end.
(photo: Getty Images)