• Tue, Jan 7 - 5:00 pm ET

I Can’t Be Bothered To Buy A Cute Nursing Bra Because I’m Trying To Keep My Man Away From My Boobs

In one of the comment threads of a story yesterday, some readers started talking about cute nursing bras and where to get them. All I could think was, Cute nursing bra? Are you kidding me? In no way do I want my boobs to look any more appealing to my man than they already do.

I’m in month seven of nursing my second child. I feel lucky that breastfeeding came easy to me. Apart from a few weeks of pain in the beginning, it’s really been smooth sailing this time around. There’s only one problem; I don’t want my man coming anywhere near my boobs. I’ve never been able to develop a knack for switching them from feeding receptacles to playthings of joy. I just can’t do it. I’m beginning to wonder how long it will take to get them back on the table.

When you have a child pulling at and sucking on your nipples for 50% of your day – I think it’s pretty normal that they become a no touch zone for the rest of the time, isn’t it? I hate to be a total bummer, but I find nothing even remotely desirable about having my boobs touched right now. I cringe away from every advance. I’m attempting to begin the weaning process; I barely even want her on them anymore and she’s engaging for survival.

Sometimes when I walk through the house and I see my man look at me, it’s almost as if I can hear some super-sexified soundtrack playing in the background. I imagine the wind blowing through my hair and my boobs bouncing delightfully. I imagine this, because this is how he looks at me; like raw meat in a lion’s den. I guess that’s what happens when you are deprived of something you love.

As much as I love my husband and appreciate that he finds me irresistible, there will be no cute nursing bras in my near future. No cute bras, period. I don’t want these things to be any more desirable than they already are.

Now, how do I get my infant to lose interest?

(photo: Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • Kay_Sue

    I think you missed the point of that comment thread, Maria. I didn’t like cute nursing bras for my husband. I like them for me.

    At a time when I wasn’t feeling particularly comfortable or confident with my body, it was nice to be able to indulge in something I enjoy, personally, and have regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not. Lingerie is one of those things. I have a large collection for my non-pregnant self, and I enjoyed having some that fit when I was pregnant or nursing (although that collection was never as large). It was something I wasn’t willing to give up just because I had a baby.

    • Janok Place

      I’m with Kay_Sue on this one. For some of us, I guess we just don’t want to lose that part of our history where we weren’t just a milk factory. I can totally get how the breast-attention from all members of the household could get tiresome. However, I’m totally cool with hubby looking at me like a chunk of meat sometimes, I’d be pretty crushed if that ever went away. I still gots it, booo-yaaaa ;)

    • Kay_Sue

      It helps, I think, that I am very neatly an A cup the rest of the time, and expanded up to a nice solid C while nursing. When you have a lingerie fascination, it’s just nice to look at that in the mirror, lol.

    • Janok Place

      I had the reverse issue… Prior to breastfeeding I am vastly disproportionate (Yeah sounds like a stupid problem, I know). Feeding the babe took them down a couple notches so I no longer have “helpful” retail staff asking me where I “Had them done” or “how much” they cost me. They cost me a lot of back pain, and aggravation when shopping. I’d always covered up in the past, having the new found ability to wear a V-Neck shirt without falling out all over the place was a huge relief. Being able to buy bras at a normal store period was huge… Maybe that had a play in things, I could actually afford bras that fit properly. 6 mos pregnant now. BAM! That’s over. Damn.

    • CrazyLogic

      I feel your pain in the “Where did you get your implants” game. When she didn’t believe me (but did so in a nudge and wink matter), I told her “the Vatican” and that there was only one doctor for it.

    • Kay_Sue

      My best friend is more like this. She has larger than me, and thus, while I may make token complaints, I am okay with it most of the time! ;)

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

      No! I didn’t miss the point! I totally understood that you meant they were for you. It just made me think about the fact that I walk around in this hideous nursing bra and it still doesn’t work for averting attention from my boobs – haha.

    • Janok Place

      Ah but when they look at that nice juicy steak in the grocery store, it’s not the packaging that lures them in. ;)

    • Kay_Sue

      I used to wish I had that problem, but having a friend with large knockers has taught me otherwise. I enjoyed them for the short period of time that I had them, but was so glad when weaning was over that they returned to their normal size! ;)

    • Andrea

      Large boobs are a curse, not a blessing. I always hated mine. My husband (not being a leg man if you know what I mean) thinks otherwise.

    • Janok Place

      That’s the irony, my husband IS a leg man. I’m 5’6″ my sister is 6’1″…. If we SIT side by side we’re almost the same height… I seriously lack leg.

    • Kay_Sue

      I didn’t mean to sound harsh with that either. It’s just not uncommon to say, “I love lingerie!” and get the wink with, “You mean your husband loves lingerie!” Nope, I mean me. :)

    • rrlo

      With my first child I was too confused in the beginning to buy my own nursing bras – so my mom purchased a whack load of hideous, white monstrosities. I had to live with them for a while because I was too tired to get new ones.

      The first time I purchased and wore my black, pretty nursing bra I was SO HAPPY. I totally get where you’re coming from. And I have #2 due in May – and I am buying my own bras this time.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    My husband loves my Christina Hendricks boobs but they are so, so sore… lol

  • Fuzzy Selfie

    If God didn’t want men to want milked up boobies, he wouldn’t have made them bigger and firmer

  • Momma425

    Maria, I’m with you, I did the same thing. I found the plainest, ugliest bra I could find and wore that until my milk went away (I din’t breastfeed, it took about a week and a half). My daughter’s dad kept wanting to have fun…fun for who? My idea of fun is not painful fondling boobs that I am already self-conscious about in the first place, and squirting an adult in the face with tit milk. Gross!

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    When I was nursing, I hated my husband touching my breasts. It weirded me out. I knew this wasn’t fair to him, but that’s just the way I felt. Thankfully(?!) breastfeeding didn’t work out and they became sexual again.

  • Rochelle

    The rule for us was look, but don’t touch until my kids were past the constant nursing stage. Then he could touch, but hands only! It made me think too much about my babies and that is not something I want to think about when I’m trying to get it on.

  • The Kez

    Oh my gosh, this. Absolutely. I’m nursing my second child at the moment. I worked out the other day that I have been pregnant and/or nursing for THREE FREAKING YEARS. Pretty much as soon as I got knocked up I had the fantastic combination of enormous boobs and murderous rage. Any time my husband went anywhere near them. I’m back at work full time and expressing twice daily i.e cramming a boob into a vacuum hose for 15 minutes, which certainly does not encourage a love of additional touching.

  • Alexandra

    Ugh I’m going to have this problem too…this is my husbands FAVORITE thing in the whole world EVER. And with them getting bigger it’s tough to think about keeping him away for 6 or more months, but I feel like I’m going to have the same issue as you – baby and daddy cannot share….it’s just odd.

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    LOL if I ever got pregnant, I would still buy a sexy bra for ME!
    F**k him lol my fella knows I buy what he calls “skimpies” or “silkies” for ME, not for him!

    The fact he approves is just a bonus!

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    Yeah, I didn’t like being touched there when I was still nursing, which my wife of course understood. I am slowly coming back around to it now, though it was still a bit weird in the first few months after nursing for over 2 years.

    I did LOVE the way they looked though. I sooooo miss having effortless cleavage. I have this wrap dress that looked so frickin’ awesome then and it just doesn’t compare now. :(

  • pineapplegrasss

    yes, I felt completely the same way. And almost as soon as I weaned (1 year now) and started to get back to normal, I am now 6mo pregnant, and already feel that way again, and I’m not even nursing yet. Maybe this part is psychological with all the thinking about baby coming and staying home again and nursing, idk. But I do feel like a mommy body again instead of a wife body :(