• Mon, Jan 6 - 3:00 pm ET

10 Mommy Hashtags That Make Me Want To Barf

smartphoneI feel like Jerry Seinfeld whenever I talk about hashtags, but I have to say it. WHAT’S THE DEAL with the overuse of hashtags these days, anyway? And don’t even get me started on the hashtags that are completely made up and make absolutely no sense.

Justme put it best:

hash

Yup. If you could possibly imagine anything more horrible than hashtags and humblebrags (which either sounds like a really bad band name or a down-home country diner), just add a dash of “sanctimommy-ness” for fun. Yes, I’m talking about the worst sanctimommy offenders on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram that put even the most annoying hashtaggers to shame.

These mommy hashtags must go away now or be killed with fire. If you’ve used them in the past, I won’t judge you, but I beg you please to stop—for the children. (WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?)

1.    #momlife

I don’t know why this hashtag bugs me so much, but it just seems smug and annoying. “Hey, I got out late from a work meeting and was trying to squeeze in a gym sesh, but I had to run home to a crying baby instead. What can you do? #momlife” Just say it—you’re really irritated because your stupid baby messed up your schedule, and now you can’t work out. That’s a bummer. Don’t try to put a cutesy spin on it.

2.    #happyfamily

Ho boy, where do I even begin on this one? Happy family hashtags normally follow a very long list of wonderful things that happened with said family. “Brunch with grandma, afternoon at the park, evening movie with the kids, and a glass of wine to top it off. #happyfamily” Annoying, happy lists are just annoying. That is all.

3.    #perfectday

The perfect day hashtag is separate but equal to the ever-so-annoying happy family hashtag. In fact, you’re likely to find both of them side-by-side crowning a glorious happy family Instagram pic (#nofilter!!!).  Let’s be clear about this: #perfectday = #humblebrag, no matter how you slice it. This hashtag is also likely to come with a picture of perfect food cooked for a perfect family.

food

4.    #momknowsbest

This hashtag is just not good, and it’s not even trying to be subtle. I also imagine it with a whiny mom voice if you were to read it aloud: “I told my daughter to bring her coat to school today, and what do you know, it snowed. #momknowsbest.” Yeesh.

5.    #mommytime

This hashtag may seem simple enough, but it usually goes hand-in-hand with #sleepingbaby. I shit you not. The mommy time hashtag gets under my skin because it seems to imply that a mom’s life revolves completely around her baby. When she finally, finally gets her sweet little one down for the night, then it’s MOMMY TIME (cue the jazz hands), and it’s well-deserved because “mommy” worked hard all day long.

6.    #sleepingbaby

Sleeping baby gets its own hashtag rant because there’s nothing that chaps my ass more than parents bragging about a sleeping newborn—especially one that supposedly sleeps through the night from 3 weeks on. While they’re enjoying a beautiful night of rest thanks to their #sleepingbaby, I’m up every hour on the hour to feed my #monsterbaby. Thanks a lot.

7.    #lovemyboys

This is another offending hashtag that always seems to follow some frustrating parenting situation disguised in a cloak of happiness. Example: “My two little guys have spent the entire afternoon arguing over who gets to play COD next. They’re just like their daddy! #lovemyboys” Barf. It may be time to admit that your house is overrun with videogame-obsessed dudebros, which sounds kind of like my house, come to think of it…

8.    #mamasboy

This one is fairly self-explanatory in its annoyingness, although it can easily go over the top. Think a sappy quote on Mother’s Day or a cheesy Facebook shout out for a son’s birthday, followed by “Mommy loves you! #mamasboy”

mom

9.    #babylove

You’ll normally find this offending hashtag right alongside a sonogram picture as some new parent-to-be gushes about their little bundle of joy. There’s nothing wrong with this hashtag per se, except it usually comes after a long string of useless hashtag proclamations next to a sonogram pic: #baby #mommy #daddy #sonogram #babylove. You get the picture.

frabz-oh-youre-pregnant-please-post-a-picture-of-your-sonogram-a15c26

10. #mommy

Oh, the ever-present mommy hashtag. The main reason that I take offense to #mommy is because it’s often used when a mom is talking about herself in third person. And nothing makes me want to wretch more than that. I won’t get into a long diatribe about how a mom should keep her personal identity, even after popping a baby out of her vag-hole, but I will say that I’m starting to get confused on Facebook now that all of my friends have started calling themselves “mommy.” What was your name again…?

Even though hashtags are a somewhat new Internet trend, I’m pushing that we go back to basics. Use hashtags purposely and in a way that actually makes sense. Had I known then what I know now, this would have been my ideal pregnancy announcement—short, sweet, and to the point, with a hashtag to boot: “Think I might be pregnant again. #ballsdeep”

(photo: Getty Images)

Share This Post:
  • CMJ
  • libraryofbird

    The only #momknowsbest info you should share is best booze recommendation.

    • VLDBurnett

      When I was fifteen, my mother pulled me aside to “talk to me about alcohol.” I thought it was a “don’t do it’ lecture, but she proceeded to tell me how to mix drinks and what does or does not mix well together.

    • Toaster

      I wish my mom had taught me that. It would have been nice to know that vodka and Slurpees do not mix.

    • ted3553

      and yet, vodka, frozen pink lemonade and crushed ice mix incredibly well

  • Kay_Sue

    I’ve used #momknowsbest.

    It was in a tweet about my mother, though…not about me…

  • Pumplestilskin

    I have a “friend’ ( aka: our kids go to school together and are in the same grades and she’s “alpha mom” so it’s best to stay on her good side) who is constantly posting these long lists of things she has to do over the weekend as if she organized and planned it all, even though those of us “in the know” know better. At the end of each of these she posts #wouldnthaveitanyotherway #lovinthecrazylife. Last weekend I decided to be snarky and to post my own list, because lets face it, we can all make our lives sound crazy just depending on how we word it. In my comments she posted “LOL, sounds like me, #wouldn’thaveitanyotherway #lovinthe crazylife” I mean, Seriously!? My list included the crazy activities of making dinner, going to church on Sunday and vacuuming our bedrooms

    • Rachel Sea

      Sometimes I write out a list of everything I’ve done over a weekend so it doesn’t feel like I accomplished nothing. I guess my hashtag would be #housestilllookslikeshit?

    • Pumplestilskin

      lol, that’s kind of what my list ended up being. “look I did all this stuff, wish I could see my laundry room floor, top of the dining room table, please don’t judge me because my Christmas tree is still up”

    • Rachel Sea

      I conquered Mount Laundrymore this weekend, and I feel like I deserve a medal.

    • raeronola

      Dude, I am considering burning Mount Laundrymore to the ground. I can’t wear half those clothes anymore anyway.

    • Rachel Sea

      I bagged up about 400lbs of clothes and linens to be donated.

    • Véronique Houde

      god… if you want to take mine on, you’re more than welcome…

    • Rachel Sea

      It would never happen. I had a pile of clean clothes, and linens the size of a small sedan waiting to be put away. I worked 6 or 7 days a week in the latter half of the year, and folding is the one chore I tend to put off at the best of times, so I basically hadn’t done it since last spring. There was literally not a single stitch of wearable clothing in my closet, it was all in Mount Laundrymore.

    • aliceblue

      Ditto the tree. First I used “I’m keeping it up until the Epiphany.’ Now it’s the 6th so I’m claiming the vortex has made it too cold to drag the tree outside. Any suggestions for when it gets warmer?

    • Pumplestilskin

      Nope, those have been my excuses too. I finally told my husband this morning that I would do it on Saturday. It’s too busy,too cold, I’m too lazy until then. If I give myself a deadline, I’ll do it

    • KaeTay

      hahaha! If I twittered I would use that hastag that’s just priceless. I clean the house and I feel like it looks exactly the same.

    • EX

      Me too. I was so excited to have no plans this weekend so I could finally get this house back in order which I spent most of the weekend doing and yet, somehow, it isn’t any cleaner or better organized than before.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I love you. What can’t some people take the HINT? ;)

    • Lackadaisical

      I know the type far too well. Is it often a list of stuff that while wearying and endless are the things that friends without kids have to do too. They might argue that kids add to the mess to tidy or the number of meals to cook but not in proportion to the adition of martyred moaning on social media. Even if it is that much harder, do they assume no other mum cooks or tidy? … Well, I cook, but most other mums do tidy too.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      i would have included-
      *Bonk hubby til he faints

      just to see would she comment…

  • amanda

    I think you have #toomuchtimeonyourhands ;) Except about the talking about yourself in third person crap – that’s annoying and I dont even have a problem with a mom’s entire identity involving her kids if that is what she wants.

  • G.E. Phillips

    I’ve used the “mama’s boy” one before. On Instagram, no less. The picture may or may not have also been in soft focus with the Toaster filter, and may or may not have included the accompanying hashtag #snuggles. I couldn’t help it! He fell asleep holding my arm. I’m not made of stone, ok? #ithappens

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahaha this made me really happy. At least you’re doing it right…?

    • G.E. Phillips

      I think so. I am sometimes “that mom.” I talk about my kid a lot, on Facebook and elsewhere, and post pictures, and occasionally use hashtags. I’ll own it. It’s cool. *insert one of many potential semi/ironic hashtags here*

    • CMJ

      I said something along these lines below but I think we can all tell when someone is that sanctimonious humblebragger versus someone who just likes posting cute pictures of their kids.

    • MamaLlama

      Honesty is the best policy… You own it, I respect that.

  • EX

    The good news is that I am an old fart who doesn’t tweet or Instagram so I’ve never really understood the whole hashtag thing. The bad news is that I totally announced on Facebook when my daughter first slept through the night. Granted, she was 9 months old, not a newborn. I was just so damn excited. Up until that point she hadn’t slept more than 3 hours uninterrupted EVAH!

    • Blueathena623

      I announced it on FB as well because he was close to a year.

  • Nica

    #hashtagsareidiotic
    ’nuff said.

  • Drea

    There is a girl I went to high school with that posts nothing but baby stuff. Sooo many statuses about mundane things that any adult goes through and then follows it with #momlife. Ugggghhh. “I thought I ran out of floss, but I found a package in the drawer. Highlight of my Saturday #momlife” *bangs head on table*

    • pixie

      Since I’m not a mom (and that isn’t even really related to being a mom anyways), if that were me finding the floss I would have said #luckypoorstudent and #savedmoney. If I used hashtags, that is.

    • Drea

      Yeah. I pointed out that as you get older, things that weren’t awesome before turn awesome.

      If I cared to use hashtags, I would start using them in relation to my cat. “Getting my flufferbutt high as balls on the c-nip! #catmomlife #soblessed #catmomknowsbest”

    • Bethany Ramos

      Now #catmomlife I can get behind.

  • KaeTay

    some are alright, some just seem rude (from the author). I posted sonogram pictures online why? because it took me 5 YEARS to have my daughter and I thought I was in fertile and also because my family was 500+ miles away from me and this was my way of being able to share my pregnancy with them (it was requested) along with friends whom also lived that far away.

    You should be so annoyed at people who are happy to be moms. I mean yeah the brag ones are annoying I don’t know why some mom feel the need to act like their life is perfect and the most magical thing out there. I prefer real mom stories, even embarrassing ones.

    • CMJ

      There’s a huge difference between someone who is happy to a be a mom and people who humblebrag their lives away.

      And the majority of us here on Mommyish can tell the difference between someone who uses the occasional hashtag with an accompanying photo and Humblebrags McGilikutty.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Humblebrags McGilikutty FTW!!!

    • ElleJai

      I think we came to the conclusion (in the last discussion about sonograms) that as long as you pick your audience it’s fine.

      Ie your Facebook Page with close friends and family is more than ok; your page with a 1,000 acquaintances possibly not. A secret group? Fine. Public Instagram? Probably not.

    • Gangle

      It took my husband and I many years and many infertility treatments to fall pregnant. Because my husbands entire family lives overseas, I have posted sonogram pictures online, in a secret group just for family members and very close friends that were interested. Because I doubt that anyone else would be all that excited to see my womb parasite, and out of respect for my fellow stirrup sisters who are still struggling with infertility. Nobody needs that rubbed in their face.

    • Jordana

      #youmissedthepoint

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      some eejits downvoting this???
      feckin morons!!!!

      congratulations on your little one. having seen how difficult it can be to conceive firsthand, from my stepmother, you’ve every right to go
      LOOK! LOOK WHAT WE MADE!!!

    • MamaLlama

      I enjoy people and their excitement on Facebook. But some people do not understand moderation- plus hashtags serve little purpose. Aren’t we all #blessed in some way?. I don’t need to next to 15 pictures or comments about mundane things. That’s all. Moderation and picking/choosing what you post. You missed the author’s point…

  • #momknowsbest

    #getoveryourself

    • Rebekah

      #rudeandpointlesscomments

  • Tara

    Meh, the only one that really annoys me is number 10, I hate when my friends refer to themselves as mommy.

  • Ugh!

    Why did #blessed not make the list??

    • CMJ

      Oh man. #blessed is my nemesis. I feel like it’s not just moms who use blessed though….so maybe that’s why?

  • Justme

    Getting a shout out in this article has GOT to be the best moment of 2014 thus far. Everything is just gonna go downhill from here…

    • Bethany Ramos

      That is because you are #thegreatest

    • Justme

      I am so….dare I say it….#blessed to be a part of this community. ;)

  • CW

    You forgot the saccharine sweet #soblessed. Hey, I’m a Christian and I do believe that babies are blessings from God. But labeling every picture of your kid #soblessed is just over the top.

    • Muggle

      I’ve seen #soblessed spammed on a lot on non-baby-related statuses, too. It’s too much.

  • Jordana

    Haha so glad someone finally said this!!!! The hashtags are bad, and the accompanying posts are even more annoying….I have removed several people from my news feed over their braggy mom posting. I theorize that the more aggressive a poster you are, the more insecure you are feeling at home…but who knows. Great article!!

    • Bethany Ramos

      I agree with your FB theory 100%!! That’s the only thing that keeps me sane when some people lay it on too thick.

  • The Other Julie

    I know a new mom who constantly is updating FB with photos of her newborn, which is all fine and well, except she hashtags the shit out of those posts, always including a hashtag of the kid’s first and middle name – really?? What exactly is the point of that? And another one sometimes that makes me squicky: #milkdrunk.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Whoa, I have never seen that before! Haha but I have seen #milkdrunk before. Oh, man…

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    nothing wrong with some of these….in moderation…
    friend of mine CONSTANTLY puts up pics of her fella with the following #mylove #loveofmylife #baby #nothinwithouthim #oneandonly #mwah #luvvly

    gets slightly irritating after the sixth picture of the day…
    and it’s not just a new couple thing..they’re been together two years now

  • getreal.com

    I am so glad to have finally found a funny, REAL take on motherhood! I LOVE THIS SITE!

  • Lauren

    This made me laugh! Especially the gif you chose for #ilovemyboys. Thanks for brightening this Mom’s day!

  • Tabitha Bogen

    Now, I am probably the most sarcastic mom I know. My poor daughter rolls her eyes constantly at my attempts to make her laugh. Sometimes it goes over well, other times I have to cool it down on her bad days. But it’s how I cope and how I seek other like-minded individuals in which to share my humor and intelligence. I’m not all about the “mushy lovey dovey” parenting. I never “baby talked” with my daughter, I always spoke to her with the same articulation as I would anyone else, perhaps just with fewer words. However, I did focus on making sure she damn well knew she was loved. I was ALWAYS THERE (and I MELT into our morning hugs). But also, my job is in social media and I moderate a blog that deals with ranting and raving for moms. Being sarcastic is at my core.

    BUT…. writing a blog that attacks other mom styles seems really wrong to me. I may not adhere to the “excessive mom hashtag” way of thinking either, but I absolutely have respect for mothers who love their kids so much all they want to do is shout it to the world. WTF is WRONG with that? GREAT! Most of those kids will grow up knowing they were cherished and appreciated and turn out to be pretty okay people. perhaps a little boring and “status quo”, but it’s f*ing better than putting more pedophiles, alcoholics and mentally unstable sociopaths out into the world due to bad parenting and not recognizing when your kids need help.

    I agree, some of the stuff my fellow mamas put out there is cringe worthy, but is it really SO vomit inducing that you need to make them feel bad about being proud of their motherhood?!

    Cripes, ladies! Aren’t we up against enough injustices? #solidarity