While many people were busy making fruitless weight loss resolutions, or battling a wicked hangover, others took a decidedly more unsavory approach to planning for the new year – tens of thousands of men and women used their New Year’s Day holiday to sign up for the infamous dating site Ashley Madison. You know, the cheaty McCheaterson site for cheating bastards?
According to The Huffington Post, pretty much all dating sites see an increase in sign-ups for New Years, as people re-evaluate their lives and seek out someone to share it with. The difference here, is that on Ashley Madison, the majority of people signing up already have someone to share their lives with. These people are just BORING or “don’t understand them anymore.” Or whatever other bullshit they people signing up use to justify being a piece of garbage to their spouse.
On Friday, Ashley Madison reported a record-breaking number of sign-ups, with over 27,000 Americans logging on to look for a phat dime piece on the side. HuffPo estimates that this means there was a new member every three seconds. That’s a lot of soulless assholery for one day.
Of course, Ashley Madison being what it is (a cesspool of humanity), they released a press release with their findings. The site’s traffic went up more than 20 percent from last New Year’s Day, and a gigantic (as in gigantic d-bags) 344 percent from a regular day. I guess New Year’s Day is the day for trolling strange on the internets. They also reported that 16, 507 men signed up, along with women not falling far behind at 11,004, proving once and for all that both men AND women can be incredibly selfish, cheating mofos if given the inclination and opportunity.
That wonderful example of humanity, Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman, says that he’s far from surprised at the findings, which doesn’t surprise me since any dude who would found a site for cheating assholes would obviously expect the worst in people:
“Many people re-examine their lives and changes they want to make on special occasions and holidays, particularly the start of the new year. If expectations aren’t met on a night like New Year’s Eve, that can signify the last straw for a lot of couples.”
You heard it straight from the source, married peeps. I sure hope you “met your spouse’s expectations” on New Years, or you might just be a few short weeks from finding strange hairs in your bed or weird boxers under your couch. Because for some people (read: sociopaths and cowards) it’s easier to cheat than to face your problems or walk away.