urban dictionaryUrban Dictionary is one of my favorite websites of all time. In case you’ve been living in a cave and just woke up, Rip Van Winkle-style, Urbandictionary.com is a crowdsourcing dictionary site where anyone can add a word and definition. Unlike Wikipedia, which is also a type of crowdsourcing site, each entry that a user adds some up as a separate definition, so certain words have multiple definitions. And a lot of the are hilarious.

Just like a real dictionary, you can find the definition of just about any word you can think of, and a million more that you can’t. Unlike a traditional dictionary, Urban Dictionary has some ridiculous, humorous and occasionally offensive definitions. And there is no exception when it comes to parenting related entries. Below are the funniest ones I could find.

12. Dear Old Mother

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (1)

This was definitely written by a teenager.

11. This guy’s dad sounds like a douche

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (2)

Either that, or he’s just bitter. I mean, his handle¬†is “Shitastic.”

10. Dr. Doom speaks the truth

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (3)

This is the best description of most teenagers I have ever read.

9. Mom and Dad…

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (4)

The original c*ck-blockers.

8. Parenting = kids are accessories

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (5)

Also known as the Paris Hilton parenting method.

7. Kids…

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (6)

Are also pretty good c*ck-blockers.

6. Poop Factories

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (7)

It’s funny because it’s true.

5. John MacEnroe? A brat? NO!

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (8)

MacEnroe’s tantrums made my kids look like angels.

4. “Toddlers” aka tiny jerks

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (9)

(also see: Brats)

3. Just telling it like it is…

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (10)

#Truth

2. Shitting a Watermelon

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (11)

Pretty much right, except it’s more like shitting a watermelon through your nose. Only messier.

1. Pizzle in your Vizzle

Parenting Related Urban Dictionary (12)

Pizzle in my vizzle reminds me of some kind of kinky watersports sex thing.

(All Images: UrbanDictionary.com unless otherwise stated)