Urban Dictionary is one of my favorite websites of all time. In case you’ve been living in a cave and just woke up, Rip Van Winkle-style, Urbandictionary.com is a crowdsourcing dictionary site where anyone can add a word and definition. Unlike Wikipedia, which is also a type of crowdsourcing site, each entry that a user adds some up as a separate definition, so certain words have multiple definitions. And a lot of the are hilarious.
Just like a real dictionary, you can find the definition of just about any word you can think of, and a million more that you can’t. Unlike a traditional dictionary, Urban Dictionary has some ridiculous, humorous and occasionally offensive definitions. And there is no exception when it comes to parenting related entries. Below are the funniest ones I could find.
12. Dear Old Mother
This was definitely written by a teenager.
11. This guy’s dad sounds like a douche
Either that, or he’s just bitter. I mean, his handle is “Shitastic.”
10. Dr. Doom speaks the truth
This is the best description of most teenagers I have ever read.
9. Mom and Dad…
The original c*ck-blockers.
8. Parenting = kids are accessories
Also known as the Paris Hilton parenting method.
Are also pretty good c*ck-blockers.
6. Poop Factories
It’s funny because it’s true.
5. John MacEnroe? A brat? NO!
MacEnroe’s tantrums made my kids look like angels.
4. “Toddlers” aka tiny jerks
(also see: Brats)
3. Just telling it like it is…
2. Shitting a Watermelon
Pretty much right, except it’s more like shitting a watermelon through your nose. Only messier.
1. Pizzle in your Vizzle
Pizzle in my vizzle reminds me of some kind of kinky watersports sex thing.
(All Images: UrbanDictionary.com unless otherwise stated)