When it comes to New Year’s resolutions for adults, they are pretty much universal. Lose weight? Boring. Hit the gym every day? Boring. Eat healthier? Boring. Stop watching the Real Housewives? Boring. And, also, by the end of January, you’ve pretty much forgotten your resolutions and are eating chocolate chip cookies while watching the Real Housewives saying to yourself, ‘I will go to the gym tomorrow…maybe.’ However, this year, I’ve made resolutions based on my life with my children, mostly resolutions that I will never, ever do with them. I’m so passionate about these resolutions that they have to stick. Instead of things I plan to do, or change personally, here’s a list of what I don’t plan to do in 2014 with my children.
1: No more sleepovers
At least at my house. I have never once had a good experience. Either my daughter’s friend wakes me up at 3 a.m. telling me she can’t sleep. Another friend of my daughter’s used her Iphone to call her mom at 12:30 a.m. and then at 1:30 a.m., without my knowledge, to tell her to come pick her up. Another of her friends woke me up at 4 a.m. to tell me she had a cough. It’s just too stressful! Do I give the friend cough medicine at 4 a.m.? Do I take away all phones before allowing her friends to come into my house for a sleepover? Do I make them sign a contract saying they are staying for the entire night and will not come into my room unless it’s an emergency? Plus, my daughter is exhausted the next day and grumpy and I don’t like her that way. If you want a sleepover with my daughter, she’s coming to you!
2: No more buying toys that are big and make noises
Yes, I get kids love them. But if I step on another toy that plays music, or a toy if you even slightly touch, plays annoying children’s music, I may check myself into an insane asylum. I want a calm, no-noise-unless-absolutely-necessary house. Quiet toys only please, which is what I will also tell people who want to buy gifts, along with no toys that are bigger than the actual baby or kid. I am running a house, not a day care centre.
3: I will not look at my daughter’s diary
I know. I know. But as a concerned parent, I feel I need to know if something really wrong is going on in her mind that I need to take care of. I will stop snooping. Or at least try to. Yes, I will TRY not to look in her diary or her phone. I will tell her to hide them really, really well, but not so well that she won’t be able to find them. Because I can’t be trusted. I admit it.