• Sat, Dec 28 - 10:00 am ET

The 8 Snarkiest Christmas ‘I Hate My Parents’ Hashtag Jokes (Sort of NSFW)

I hate my parents

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For the last few years, in the days following the major holidays (at least here in the west where I live) we’ve seen tons of bratty kids bitching about how awful their parents are for giving them gifts that just weren’t up to snuff. You know, the ones that say “I hate my parents” or “Christmas is ruined.”  I’ll be honest, for as long as I’ve seen these tweets and posts, I’ve wondered just how legit they were. Were they really bratty teens, or sarcastic hilarity?

This year has taken away any doubt that the majority of the tweets under these hashtags are pure satirical awesomeness. It’s official, internet pranksters have taken over this hashtag, and the results? Let’s just say they will brighten even the biggest Scrooge‘s spirits. Behold, and be warned that at least one of these is totally (sorta) NSWF.

 

8. The bastards! 

I hate my parents

Everyone knows that Colgate is POOR people toothpaste! #Duh

7. Who needs an island?

I hate my parents

I mean, how is she even going to GET to this island? Why commercial? I think not!

6. Her parents are probably liberal scum.

I hate my parents

If even one kid in America goes without a flamethrower, the terrorists win!

5. What the eff is “cash”? 

I hate my parents

 

Ugh, do they even read his blog?

4. What a piece of garbage

I hate my parents

Wait…that ISN’T a Lambo?

3. Banjos are the worst. The WORST I tell you!

I hate my parents

What is this? Deliverance?

2. The nerve!

I hate my parents

If it’s less than a middle manager gets, it should be considered child abuse. Amirite?

1. Oh the (NSFW) humanity!

I hate my parentsI got nuthin….

(Images: Twitter unless otherwise stated)

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  • Andrea

    There’s no way these are real

    • wonderstruck

      I think that’s kind of the point…they’re joking. Sarcasm.

    • Andrea

      I missed it. There are quite a few of these types of tweets that are in fact real. I should have known these were a joke, way too over the top.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      That’s why she said so in her opening remarks.

    • Paul White

      I see you don’t speak sarcasm. Fortunately it is my native tongue, so allow me to translate:
      “WTF is up with kids bitching about their iPhones?”

    • Tinyfaeri

      Except the last one. Pretty sure that’s for realz.

  • Zettai

    Died @ the dildo

    • Kay_Sue

      That’s what she said.

    • Kay_Sue

      Sorry! I couldn’t resist! :-P

  • Kay_Sue

    My husband peeked over my shoulder just as I made it to the dildo one. #HeDoesn’tKnowWhatToMakeOfMommyish

    • Alicia Kiner

      Awesome. I totally had scrolled down before I saw the caption. Luckily, my kids are engrossed in the new Skylanders game they got from my sister in law to pay attention to mommy’s computer!

  • CrazyLogic

    Dead god the dildo one…

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    …my fella gave me a cuppa at the dildo… he looked slightly baffled then asked would fake tan work for him “down there”

    I nearly died lol

  • Pumplestilskin

    I’m glad everyone is telling me this is a dildo because, even after reading the tweet, I thought it was penis shaped chocolate candy, which made me crave chocolate

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Me too LOL

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    That giant chocolate cock reminds me of the family heirloom, only it’s soap and rumour has it there are teeth marks on it. It got passed to my various aunts on their milestone birthdays. It all started when my father, who can’t give an appropriate gift to save his life, gave it to my aunt, who can’t throw anything away.