• Sun, Dec 22 - 3:14 pm ET

Kate Winslet Is Slammed By Fathers’ Rights Group For Vogue Statements And Rightfully Threatens To Sue

fathers' rights group slams kate winslet

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Kate Winslet is being attacked by a UK-based father’s rights group for some remarks she made in November’s issue of Vogue, and she’s understandably angered, and threatening to sue.

fathers' rights group slams kate winslet

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During the Vogue interview in question, Winslet took on people who have criticized her parenting, due to the fact that she has three kids with separate partners. Because no matter how rich, talented and famous you are, if you have a vagina you better keep that shit in check. Winslet has a 13-year-old with director Jim Threapleton, a 10-year-old with director Sam Mendes, and a newborn baby boy with husband Ned Rocknroll (who has the coolest name ever). Three kids with three men = SLUT, amirite? (Obvious sarcasm is obvious). Winslet told Vogue:

“People go, ‘Oh, my God! Those poor children! They must have gone through so much.’ Says who? They’ve always been with me. They don’t go from pillar to post; they’re not flown here and there with nannies. That’s never happened. My kids don’t go back and forth; none of this 50/50 time with the mums and dads – my children live with me; that is it. That is it!”

Father4Justice, the aforementioned father’s rights group has taken offense to her sentiments. Enough so that they used Winslet’s likeness in a Christmas advertisement aimed to support a father’s right to see their children during the holidays. According to A F4J representative:

“We are running this advert as part of a campaign to highlight the sensitive issue of four million children waking up on Christmas Day without their father. It is clear from what Kate says that she does not support ‘shared parenting.’”

Here’s the thing. It’s NOT clear from the interview how she feels about shared parenting. These aren’t regular, work a day people. These are high powered Hollywood types who spend weeks or even months in set. I am a firm supporter of a father’s rights. I was raised by my dad, and I have written numerous times about how I feel a father should have more representation in court and more access to his children. But going about it this was is disingenuous at best, and outright bullshit at worst. Even Winslet’s ex-husband is supporting her, stating that while he supports fathers’ rights, the group know nothing of their family’s “personal circumstances.”

I think it’s telling that this same group has used numerous famous actresses’ photos in their ridiculous campaign, including Katie HolmesHalle Berry  and Kim Basinger. If you feel you have to resort to grandstanding to make your point, perhaps you need to rethink your point all together. Attacking women, whose lives you have no idea about, is no way to fight for a father’s rights.

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  • thisshortenough

    I always find it annoying that people claim fathers do not have rights in court. It has been found that men gain custody more than women do if it is taken to court. Usually however a settlement is made outside of court. It’s not what MRAs make it out to be where the mother strolls out of court with a check and a child

    • Andrea

      I do think they tend to overstate it. It *may* have been like that at one point, but I don’t believe that is the case any longer. I believe that when fathers fight for equal parenting rights they usually get them.

    • Muggle

      It was like that at one point, but I don’t think it’s the case anymore. However fathers were (and may still be, I’m not totally sure) be denied other parental rights, such as access to school documents and records (though that’s definitely against the law and has been for decades).

  • Kay_Sue

    I hope she does sue them. They know nothing about her family and circumstances.

    At least in the states where I have been aware of custody cases, there does seem to be a bias towards the mother. But I blame it more on the preconception that mothers make better parents because they are more nurturing and caring than on the court system itself. It’s an idea that is often raised in arguments about whether homosexual men should be able to adopt (at least among the conservative Christians that I know).

    I should also add that in most of the cases I’ve been aware of, these women had considerable financial resources through their families, which left them better able to secure representation than their former partners. That probably had a lot to do with it also.

  • FF4life

    Shared custody is beautiful in theory but during a bitter divorce it is entirely impossible.

    • JLH1986

      Or logistically in every day life. What if one parent works 3rd shift and can’t switch for a while. The other parents works days, because of that it would make it almost impossible for shared parenting. I know that’s the “norm” for most families these days but each family needs to be looked at and it should be evaluated on what is best for that family. Blanket “this is what’s best for everyone” rules are irksome.

  • Paul White

    Anyone know case law on the use of celebrities images for stuff like this?

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Considering that this is a UK thing, I’m not certain but if I remember correctly, their laws regarding these things are pretty different than ours, so she probably has a pretty good case.

  • Alicia Kiner

    No, NOT every child deserves to be with their fathers at Christmas or any other time. How many children are the victims of some kind of abuse at the very hands of their fathers. And this right here is the exact problem with blanket statements such as these. Hey Fathers4Justice, fire your ad agency.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    I grew up with divorced parents and 50/50 custody would have been total ass. I liked one home, one address, one set of furniture, one place where I could say I lived. It wasn’t mom’s house, it was my house.
    I have such a peeve when a 50/50 split is touted as the ideal. It completely isn’t. For some, sure. But it’s not a blanket solution and from my perspective seems more abut creating fairness for parents than creating stability for children.
    In all honesty, in most relationships I’ve ever seen, one party tends to be the primary parent who knows all the school, medical and friend stuff. They remember the lunches, the tests, the extracurriculars. They spend the most time on childcare for whatever reason. In my humble opinion, it’s often best for that person to take on primary custody, provide the primary home, and make ample room for a situationally reasonable amount of regular visits for the other parent.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      You would not believe how many late assignments I get from students who can’t complete the work because “I forgot it” (or the book/my notebook, whatever) at the other parent’s house, and they’re not going back for 3 days, and God forbid I show any frustration with this constant problem. I am seeing this a ton in the kids that have parents with 50/50 custody. It’s nice in theory, but you’re right, the reality is a lot of things don’t get remembered when you switch houses all the time and a lot of things fall through the cracks (including rules and expectations for behavior).

    • jdoe

      So give the dads 100% custody. Or does that go against your obvious anti-father bias?

    • KarenMS

      ??

    • http://sarahhollowell.com/ Sarah Hollowell

      seconded like ????? what???

    • jdoe

      What is there not to get? Currently choosing a primary caregiver means almost always choosing the mom over the dad. So supporting this position the way it is carried out by the courts today means that you are supporting diminishing the roles of dads and forcing them to pay an additional penalty in the form of “child” support, so they can’t afford to get the niceties for their child or their second families that they could otherwise afford. Many fathers can barely even pay the rent when forced into this situation against their will. How is this fair to dads, their kids, or the rest of their families?

    • Katherine Handcock

      Actually, I know a number of divorced dads who received primary custody because they were either the principal caregiver or had employment more suited to being principal caregiver after the split (i.e. the moms had to travel often, work overnight shifts, and so on.) I read your comment below, so believe me, I’m not saying that your situation was fair or right, just that your own experience is not a universal one.

    • Aldonza

      Yeah that comment made me scratch my head. I have a few friends who are fathers and have primary custody over their children for a variety of reasons, and it’s not as unusual as many think anymore.

    • KarenMS

      The question was: Where in the world did you infer that FormerlyKnownAsWendy has an anti-father bias? There was literally nothing in her post or the post she was responding to that would lead you to assume she’s anti-father. And you even called it an “obvious” anti-father bias which makes the comment even more worthy of a head scratch.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      I actually don’t care either way, whichever parent is the one whose job and habits are more suited to it, and I like the 50/50 split in theory, just kids forget to transport things, like homework, which aren’t on their list of important things. If the parents work together and it’s pretty seamless, it doesn’t bother me. More often though, they don’t. Not anti-dad at all. Anti-forgetting homework and always having late assignments and using your parents divorce from six years ago as a current excuse today.

    • bullied_dad

      How should financial support be handled? What about kids born to suicidal mothers who then turn their sons against the father? I speak from over 16 years of tormenting experience as a man who did not agree with the idea of having a child but made many sacrifices over the years to protect my son and be as much of a dad as I was allowed (I was even an assistant den leader and a mentor for one of his clubs, and I was the one who brought him to his practices and games), only to be called useless by his mom and have my half of the family cut off by him because her brainwashing worked. No, the system recall is against fathers like me. Some get desperate, like Dmitriy Kanarikov, and nobody wins when that happens.

    • http://sarahhollowell.com/ Sarah Hollowell

      You’re aware she didn’t mention anything about mothers being chosen over fathers, right? Like, she just said that it’s often better for one parent to take on primary custody – she didn’t say anything about which parent it should be.

    • bullied_dad

      How does it usually work right now? Mothers are chosen over fathers. Whose claim to primary parenthood should be trusted? Who should be chosen when the pregnancy is out-of-wedlock? Always the mother? No, primary custody to a single parent is not a winning solution in most cases. Equal treatment and respect for their role is all that many fathers are asking for. Why is equal treatment and fairness so bad?

    • March

      A father who wants primary custody should get it. But how many fathers really, actually, truly do? That is not a rhetoric question, by the way. I want to know. Since you seem to know how “it usually works”, surely you’re well up in the statistics. Enlighten us.

  • meteor_echo

    “A father is for life, not just for conception”? Dudes, tell this not to women but to all of the men who bolt after they find out that their partner is pregnant (and who have previously expressed their desire to have a child). Oh and, some are better just for conception, because they may abuse their partners and children for years and years to come.
    It makes me teary-eyed to watch the white cis hetero middle-class man to have yet another hard blow dealt to him in our horrible, gynocratic society.

  • Arlene Adams

    guess they can’t come up with decent ad campaigns so they piggyback off the stars.

  • Evenaar

    To me, what they are kind of saying with the ads is: men should always be involved with their kids at least 50% and otherwise it’s the mum’s fault. I can’t imagine this is really what they want to communicate, especially with the shaming specific women thrown in as well. That thought is obviously at least as much nonsense as the idea that women are the no.1 best caregivers for children always.

    As another ‘child of divorce’ here, I would also like to add my two cents: Divorce affects kids. It’s not the worst thing in the world but it is something that takes a while to deal with and every child interprets it differently. If 50/50 custody work best for you, great. There are often not so many choices when grown-ups ‘don’t know everything’ anymore. And there is no one answer to what is best for the child. Moving around regularly left me feeling like I was always in the way, and that I had no place of my own. My sister interpreted it differently. Parents generally do the best they can when things get switched up in life. That’s why I always get a bit annoyed when divorce is oversimplified like in these ads: It’s already so complicated for the parents, and nobody asks what it’s like for the children.

    p.s. I am not against divorce at all: I firmly believe things can be painful and the best solution at the same time.

    • Katherine Handcock

      This is a wonderful comment from start to finish in my eyes. Thank you in particular for acknowledging that different solutions are not only best for different families, but for different kids within a single family. There’s no one-size-fits-all, and it’s probably never going to be perfect, but considering the feelings and needs of everyone involved will probably get folks as close as possible.

  • Rowan

    When my son’s father actually starts taking some responsibility for his child, then he can start banging on about his rights.

    • EV docmaker

      You do NOT get it or maybe do not want to know. In the UK even if the Mother is 100% awful and the father is 100% perfect responsibility orientated the Courts will always side with the Mother no matter how awful she is and no matter how that harms the kids. Not even the most perfect Dad in the world can avoid the bias against him.

    • Rowan

      By your reckoning, there are absolutely no fathers with custody in the UK. You have stats to back that up, or is bitterness considered fact these days?

  • Janok Place

    I’m the product of 50/50 custody. It was dad’s house Monday evening to Thursday morning. It was mom’s house Thursday evening until Monday morning. It was never my house, or my home. The strict schedule meant that when either or had other commitments I ended up with grandparents. I spent a lot of time with grandparents. So Then it was Mom’s house, dad’s house, grandparent A, grandparent B… I had to keep my things and life and mind organized. The rules were different at each house, and meanwhile I wanted everyone to be happy with me but any shortcomings I had were blamed on the parenting of the other. I count myself lucky too, I know my parents really tried to get along. A lot of the time I just wished I could live with a grandparent, they had time to be there for me and showed consistency. They lacked the guilt and frustration both parents had. At the end of the day, divorce is messy and difficult for kids. The best thing the parents can do is keep it out of court, and keep the lines of communication open with each other and children.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      Aw :( See, your upbringing is what I think of when I don’t like 50/50 splits. And it’s why I am more in favour of having one primary parent and residence. You deserved to feel like you were at home somewhere, not just always visiting.

      It can work for some, I do not doubt this, but I think the average family would have these sorts of logistical issues and the one who loses is the child.

  • alltherights

    I hate how men don’t have the same rights as women when it comes to the court. Child support and custody are against men. Women can just lay down with any man, get pregnant, and demand a free check from him while sitting on her ass with welfare. Men, when you have sex with any women, wrap it up, because some women are sleazy.