Ladies and gentlemen, with one week left until Christmas, it is frenzied panic time! Now, I consider myself fairly organized when it comes to the holidays. My husband and I figure out the budget about two months out, and we even make an Excel spreadsheet of potential gifts and costs. Way back when I was still munching on Halloween candy, I would order a thing or two from Amazon, plug it into my formula, and feel pretty good about myself. But then, of course, life happened. New coats, Thanksgiving, two birthdays, and a few growth spurts resulting in new clothes later, the spreadsheet is forgotten and my budget is circling the drain. I am in a Christmas scramble over here, and in my desperate attempt to catch up, I realize I have forgotten a few things.
A Picture With Santa
Some time in the fall, I got an e-mail about a breakfast with Santa that would cost about 80 dollars for my family of five. After shaking my head furiously at the thought of paying 80 dollars for pancakes and an awkward photo in which my oldest would most likely be whispering something cryptic to the old guy (“We know you aren’t the real Santa. Tell us how to get ahold of him!”), I apparently pushed Santa photos out of my brain. The thought came back for a fleeting moment in the mall, but looking at the desperate faces of parents in a line 54 deep, we walked away. Now, I need to find a photo opportunity, stat. And maybe some pancakes. I really want pancakes now!
I bought a solid three pack of tape. Where the hell did it go? I seem to recall some art projects on a snow day, and instructing my five-year-old to make a paper chain as tall as she was. I have also noticed 621 presents wrapped under the tree for every stuffed animal and Poly Pocket in the house (“DON’T THROW THEM AWAY! I MADE EVERYONE PRESENTS!”) Now I am left with a sad half roll of tape and the knowledge that the grocery store is probably out. Maybe I’ll try painter’s tape. That could be festive, right?
Christmas Pajamas for Myself
Damned if I didn’t want just one Christmas photo in which my pajamas actually a) fit and b) matched. Maybe next year!
The Elf on a Shelf
12 days ago, I was fashioning elf clothes. Now, he’s been eating peanut M&Ms for two days and my kids have begun to notice that his hair paint is peeling. Way to go from hero to zero on that one, Mom.
I am invited to a cookie exchange, have volunteered to bring an apple pie to Christmas dinner, and I need to make Christmas cookies with my kids on Christmas Eve. A quick freezer check reveals that I am down to one sad and lonely stick of butter. I do still have the butter turkey from Thanksgiving. Yeah, everyone can shove real turkey into their mouths, but when it came to dismantling a fake one with a butter knife, everyone balked. Maybe I can melt him down for parts.
This is two-fold. One, I need batteries for the kids toys. How many and what kind, I have no idea so it’s probably good that I am out of tape and have therefore wrapped nothing. But, if and when I do forget to get batteries at the store, we can start (or continue) the tradition of empting TV remotes and household appliances to make our new toys work.
Secondly, I need to plug in my camera battery charger. Like everyone else in the world, I primarily take pictures with my phone, but on Christmas I would like something a little more real than Instagram provides. But I am almost positive my camera battery is dead, and something tells me these kids won’t enjoy it if I attempt to halt present opening so I can get my camera to one cell of battery life.
A Gift for the School Crossing Guard and my Husband
In my scramble to make sure I had gifts, or at the very least- cards, for the ever increasing number of people who interact with my children on a daily basis, I may have left out some of my favorites. My crossing guard is great. She talks to the kids, makes fun of my snow hat and is sure to tell me that the baby looks like me and not my husband (which is a blatant lie, but one I love just the same.) I’ve got a Dunkin Donuts gift card with her name on it, as soon as I a) buy it and b) figure out her name.
Oh yeah, and my husband. Nothing says “Thank you for all of your hard work in financially providing for our family!” like a pack of new undershirts and some Gold Toe socks from Target, right? Right?? Because otherwise I see a desperate shopping trip on Christmas Eve in my future, unless the kids let me in on their macaroni art projects. I can spell out “IOU” in red and green pasta and glue. That’s a gift that keeps on giving. Sigh.
I guess I am off to the mall… and Target… and the grocery store. Good luck everyone! If you are like me, you are going to need it!