7 Things I’ve Forgotten With One Week Left Until Christmas

BB0 12.tifLadies and gentlemen, with one week left until Christmas, it is frenzied panic time!  Now, I consider myself fairly organized when it comes to the holidays. My husband and I figure out the budget about two months out, and we even make an Excel spreadsheet of potential gifts and costs. Way back when I was still munching on Halloween candy, I would order a thing or two from Amazon, plug it into my formula, and feel pretty good about myself.  But then, of course, life happened.  New coats, Thanksgiving, two birthdays, and a few growth spurts resulting in new clothes later, the spreadsheet is forgotten and my budget is circling the drain.  I am in a Christmas scramble over here, and in my desperate attempt to catch up, I realize I have forgotten a few things.

A Picture With Santa

(Image: getty Images)

(Image: getty Images)

Some time in the fall, I got an e-mail about a breakfast with Santa that would cost about 80 dollars for my family of five. After shaking my head furiously at the thought of paying 80 dollars for pancakes and an awkward photo in which my oldest would most likely be whispering something cryptic to the old guy (“We know you aren’t the real Santa. Tell us how to get ahold of him!”), I apparently pushed Santa photos out of my brain.  The thought came back for a fleeting moment in the mall, but looking at the desperate faces of parents in a line 54 deep, we walked away. Now, I need to find a photo opportunity, stat. And maybe some pancakes. I really want pancakes now!

Tape

)Image: getty images)

)Image: getty images)

I bought a solid three pack of tape.  Where the hell did it go?  I seem to recall some art projects on a snow day, and instructing my five-year-old to make a paper chain as tall as she was.  I have also noticed 621 presents wrapped under the tree for every stuffed animal and Poly Pocket in the house (“DON’T THROW THEM AWAY! I MADE EVERYONE PRESENTS!”)  Now I am left with a sad half roll of tape and the knowledge that the grocery store is probably out.  Maybe I’ll try painter’s tape.  That could be festive, right?

Christmas Pajamas for Myself

(Image: getty Images)

(Image: getty Images)

Damned if I didn’t want just one Christmas photo in which my pajamas actually a) fit and b) matched.  Maybe next year!

The Elf on a Shelf

(Image:hairpinturnsahead.typepad.com)

(Image:hairpinturnsahead.typepad.com)

12 days ago, I was fashioning elf clothes.  Now, he’s been eating peanut M&Ms for two days and my kids have begun to notice that his hair paint is peeling.  Way to go from hero to zero on that one, Mom.

Butter

80486938

I am invited to a cookie exchange, have volunteered to bring an apple pie to Christmas dinner, and I need to make Christmas cookies with my kids on Christmas Eve.  A quick freezer check reveals that I am down to one sad and lonely stick of butter.  I do still have the butter turkey from Thanksgiving. Yeah, everyone can shove real turkey into their mouths, but when it came to dismantling a fake one with a butter knife, everyone balked.  Maybe I can melt him down for parts.

Batteries

103922333

This is two-fold. One, I need batteries for the kids toys. How many and what kind, I have no idea so it’s probably good that I am out of tape and have therefore wrapped nothing.  But, if and when I do forget to get batteries at the store, we can start (or continue) the tradition of empting TV remotes and household appliances to make our new toys work.

Secondly, I need to plug in my camera battery charger. Like everyone else in the world, I primarily take pictures with my phone, but on Christmas I would like something a little more real than Instagram provides. But I am almost positive my camera battery is dead, and something tells me these kids won’t enjoy it if I attempt to halt present opening so I can get my camera to one cell of battery life.

A Gift for the School Crossing Guard and my Husband

(Image: getty images)

(Image: getty images)

In my scramble to make sure I had gifts, or at the very least- cards, for the ever increasing number of people who interact with my children on a daily basis, I may have left out some of my favorites.  My crossing guard is great. She talks to the kids, makes fun of my snow hat and is sure to tell me that the baby looks like me and not my husband (which is a blatant lie, but one I love just the same.)  I’ve got a Dunkin Donuts gift card with her name on it, as soon as I a) buy it and b) figure out her name.

Oh yeah, and my husband. Nothing says “Thank you for all of your hard work in financially providing for our family!” like a pack of new undershirts and some Gold Toe socks from Target, right? Right?? Because otherwise I see a desperate shopping trip on Christmas Eve in my future, unless the kids let me in on their macaroni art projects.  I can spell out “IOU” in red and green pasta and glue. That’s a gift that keeps on giving. Sigh.

I guess I am off to the mall… and Target… and the grocery store. Good luck everyone! If you are like me, you are going to need it!

(Image:Getty Images)

Share This Post:
    • AP

      We’re more than two shipping days from Christmas, so Amazon Prime to save the day. Jeff Bezos might as well be Santa this time of year (even though in real life he’s closer to Ebeneezer Scrooge.)

    • Kay_Sue

      Someone pass me a paper bag, I think I am hyperventilating. Too much to do!

      • Jessica

        I understand why some of my southern friends don’t wrap gifts now. I just look at the pile and shudder. It is too much to do!

      • Kay_Sue

        Yeah, I’m passing the younguns off to their grandparents tomorrow night so that I can get everything wrapped before we get the girls on Saturday…

        Which is totally NOT code for “I’m going to sit on the internet procrastinating while I bounced between Mommyish and various other websites”. I promise.

      • Jessica

        Well, yeah! You have to stop and read Mommyish and Dlisted because otherwise you would get “taping cramp” in your fingers. It’s for your health.

      • Lee

        My husband and I bickered about wrapping Santa gifts. I say no and he says yes. Except he won’t do it so it isn’t happening. Long live paperless presents!

    • kay

      I still need to buy my husband Christmas beer. From the baby. It’s the last (but most important) shopping I have to do.

      • darras

        I love that your baby buys your husband Christmas beer!

      • libraryofbird

        My dog bought everyone booze this year. I already drank my bottle of wine.

      • Kay_Sue

        Your dog and my dog need to have a conversation. My dog is obviously, I just realized, an ungrateful freeloader who has never presented any of us with booze…

      • Blueathena623

        I know, right? Are beer dogs a special breed, or do you just train them?

      • libraryofbird

        The bottles each have a Christmas sweater on them too. We have always given gifts from the pets but she really has nailed it this year.

      • Kay_Sue

        I would breed the shit out of beer dogs. This should be a thing.

    • keelhaulrose

      OMG, I forgot a teacher gift, and I spent all my money yesterday buying baking supplies… I guess it’ll be a mad dash out to buy a gift card after my husband gets paid tomorrow…
      And I have to get my five year old to clean her room so her aunt can sleep there. And find the sleeping bag so she can sleep in her sister’s room. And make desserts for the family Christmas party this weekend. And…
      I think I’m going to go cry now.

      • Jessica

        My daughter just got home from school and found the $ we were supposed to have donated for the teacher gift last week in the bottom of her backpack. Can I give her $7 cash as a gift tomorrow?? That’s totally not tacky, right? Damn.

      • keelhaulrose

        It’s a gift they’re guaranteed to use, right?
        My daughter’s school has parents being in baked goodies around this time and sends each staff member home with a large plate of goodies. When I bought baking supplies I forgot white chocolate chips (to make my truffles look like snowballs) and substituted semi sweet. Then, for some reason they started falling apart when I coated them. Result: Mr. Hanky the Christmas Truffle (South Park fans will know what I’m talking about). I didn’t have the money or supplies to try again, so I had to go in to turn them in. The mom collecting them said “aww, did you help?” to my daughter. Why yes, yes she did. Totally. 100%. In fact, she made them, isn’t she talented? I’m totally not the mom trying to pass off a $h!t ball as an edible treat…

    • elle

      This article is simultaneously cracking me up and stressing me out! And it’s so snowy in Utah and the stores are so crowded, and do I have all the presents and OMG only 5 days and I’m for real asking should I get a present my son’s day care teacher but then there’s 2 aides in there, do they need gifts too? I may wet my pillow with tears tonight! And in my family we battle royale it out to see who gets to decapitate the turkey butter.

      • Jessica

        Send in a gift to daycare that covers all 3 of them, like a box of donuts, or some K-cups for their coffee machine. Or maybe some supplies that day cares always need, like wipes. Or a flask that they can all share. ;-)

      • elle

        That is one good idea(the supplies) and one great idea (the flask one obvs). Thank you! I may have a little sanity restored. My husband may not have to listen to soft weeping tonight ;)

    • beth

      Yesterday at the grocery store I told my kids we were done running errands after four days of going nonstop. I realized this morning I totally lied.

      • Jessica

        I live at my grocery store. My daughter and I recite allllll of the U-Scans lines. “Do you have any coupons? Thanks for shopping at *awkward pause* Superfresh”

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I have not baked a single cookie :(

      • Blueathena623

        You can have some of mine, but since I baked them so early there aren’t many left . . .

    • Alicia Kiner

      Yeah I have all the gifts bought. Now I just have to wrap them. Plus clean my house. And bake cookies. Oh and buy the food for 2 Christmas meals, (Day and Eve). I did charge my camera batteries, and have the teacher gifts ready to go, but I found out today that my daughter is supposed to bring in a snack for her party tomorrow. At least I talked my family into takeout tonight ;-)

    • LadyClodia

      I went from panic attacks from holiday and birthday stress at the beginning of the week to complete apathy now. It’s not good, and I still have a ton of stuff to get done, but I just don’t care anymore. Add this to the fact that I’ve been sick the last few days, and things are a mess. Plus we’re going to visit family this weekend, and we won’t be getting back until Monday, so I’ll have a ton of stuff to do on Christmas Eve.
      Right now the only things I want to do are drink wine and watch Tom Hiddleston videos on Youtube. However, my stomach can’t handle the wine right now, and my laptop has decided that it doesn’t want to play sound anymore. Because, sure, why not? Arg.

      • Natasha B

        Apathy here now. USPS lost the fantastic gift I got for my 16 yo sister, and also the 18mo adorable Christmas outfit. I need replacements. Not going to any mall. I think I’m gonna draw the hubby a picture for Christmas. A kiss and a hug? A big ol IOU? Meh :/

    • Aussiemum

      I went yesterday to pick up all our lay-bys and the rest of the presents. Hubby stood patiently outside each store with the trolley and we did a fuck-yea-we-got-a-present-for-everyone dance in the car park! Fast forward 2 hours and I realised I’ve forgotten my dads Christmas present, but more importantly his birthday present. Poor bugger, is birthday is the 22nd. And my nieces gift card (she’s 16 heaven forbid you hand over an actual wrapped, cleverly thought out piece of crap you thought was awesome, and she thinks is tacky as hell. And then I realised, ID FORGOTTEN TO BUY MR 16 ANYTHING AT ALL!
      So I dragged the 3 youngest back to the shop and grabbed a couple of gift cards. Came up with a mental blank for my dad, who politely told me that if anybody buys him one more thing that says AC/DC he’s gonna flip his lid, (damn it, AC/DC has always been our can’t think of anything else fall back).
      But on the upside, I did pick up an awesome top for Christmas Day (totally told hubby it was on sale, ppffttt yea right!!!) Downside? I have to drag the kidlets around the packed shops yet again. Santa now knows my kids by name. And pretty much the only things left are all AC/DC related, cause let’s face it, everyone’s dad has told them the same thing. Dad just might be getting a beautifully wrapped brick.

      • Jessica

        Once when I was a teacher, one of the kids gave me a cinder block stuffed with Christmas lights. Just in case you wanted to make your brick extra snazzy! :-)

    • Jayess

      Jessica, re: presents for your husband, I am moderately certain there was an article with sexy Christmas items earlier. Besides, we have been assured this week that everyone has a Santa fetish. Ta-da!

      • Jessica

        For anyone who needs to know, the “Secret Wishes Christmas Candy Costume” is available for 2 day delivery via Amazon Prime! ;-)

    • Rose.rose321

      Bleh. I have NOT even started my shopping yet. Just thinking about hitting Walgreens for Gift-cards.

    • Natasha B

      Yeah, there too. Between USPS losing thoughtful gifts with no replacements until after Christmas, no clue what to get the hubby that won’t send him one of those Amex alerts, and promising to bake cookies with the kids today….eh. WHY. also, MIL sent cash to buy kids gifts from her TODAY. can I just give them cash? My creativity is gone. Gone.
      Going to make the hubby one of those sexy coupon books. With glitter and stickers.