• Thu, Dec 19 - 10:00 am ET

I’m Seriously Considering Drinking My Own Breast Milk So I Don’t Get Sick On Christmas

stk74140corFrom what I’ve been told, breast milk has magical, mystical properties and is the true elixir of all health. When my baby had a weird, crusty eye, the Internet told me to squirt some breast milk in it—and voila!—it was magically better. I’ve also noticed that my breast-fed baby gets way less sick than my toddler son who brings home all kinds of plagues from daycare.

There’s something else I’ve noticed in my two years of parenting. Kids seem to always get sick on holidays and important occasions. If you want to do something fun, say go to the park on a Saturday afternoon and get out of the GD house for once, you can bet your kid’s college fund that they will turn up sick on Saturday morning.

But it’s almost Christmas! This is the first holiday season in two years that I haven’t had a baby sucking the life out of me and kicking me from inside my womb. Translation: This is the first holiday in two years that I’m not pregnant, and it’s cause for celebration.

I really, really don’t want anyone in our house to get sick to ruin my awesome holiday. My seven-month-old son is on 50/50 breast milk and formula right now, so he’s probably good to go. I have my toddler hopped up on all kinds of healthy supplements, like probiotics, and I’ve been mixing breast milk in his food too.

I really am this close to doing the same for me and my husband. I’ve never tried breast milk before, and to be honest, it kind of grosses me out. My husband is also equally freaked out by my beautiful bodily fluids, and he refuses to use breast milk in his coffee. (The nerve!)

When I was whinging about the potential for a sick family over the holidays, Eve showed me this interesting/frightening “cocktail challenge.” Apparently, this bartender and new father used both infant formula and breast milk in some of his cocktail creations. I wouldn’t go so far as to froth myself up a breast milk latte, but I have to admit that “spiced breast milk bubbles” sound kind of yum.

I’m not going to commit fully to drinking my own breast milk to survive, but I will say this. If you pop by my house for a holiday cocktail this year—watch out.

(photo: Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • elle

    I totally relate to this article! One time my husband just had the worst cold and I was so busy at work I just couldn’t get sick. I wasn’t breastfeeding but my sis was and I seriously contemplated asking or stealing some of her milk. But in the end it just kind of personally wierded me out

    • Bethany Ramos

      Totally! I need to know if anyone has drank breast milk before, as an adult. I won’t judge…

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      This article is so damn funny. I never have, but I will eat the hell out of some placenta though

    • elle

      Totally! I wouldn’t judge either and I’m still so intrigued as to what it would be like while also knowing its just something I could never do.

    • Marie

      Hey, I drank an espresso cup full of it last month. I pumped too much and I would have had to throw it out, so I figured what the heck. I had to brace myself against my urge to gag at the thought, but I was pleasantly surprised by the taste. Unlike say cow milk or goat milk, there is none of that animal aftertaste one might need to get used to. It’s got a bit of a nutty taste, reminiscent of almond milk, and it’s very sweet. I’d say the stuff is very human palate friendly, which makes sense. You guys should try it!

    • Bethany Ramos

      With that description, now I kinda want some. Better get pumping!

    • Marie

      Try it! Just don’t over-think it :)

  • alice

    I tried some of my friend’s breastmilk on a drunk dare once. Okay, maybe i dared myself.

    Just a sip. Fresh from the pump. Warm. Sweet. Boobmilk.

    • Bethany Ramos

      There it is!!! What was it like? Dish, girl, dish.

    • alice

      ha it was pretty much like i said. warm and sweet. i think i was expecting something sour tasting. bodily excretions usually smell/taste funky.

      but this was just a warm, mildly sweet, cream. there was nothing off-putting about it, except for the gagging sounds coming from everyone else in the room :)

    • Bethany Ramos

      LOL – this is AMAZING.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    My wife and I both tried mine. Just to see what it was like. It was sweet and warm. I understand why babies like it so much.

    • iamtheshoshie

      I was super curious and tasted some of my colostrum (I’m 8 months pregnant). I was surprised at how sweet it was.

  • Elisianna

    I have tried my breastmilk, and so has my husband, straight from the tap! It is very sweet. Tastes like milk with a few teaspoons of sugar mixed in, slightly heated. I don’t like sweets much but my husband thought it was tasty.

  • Zettai

    I’d drink it. I hate getting sick!

  • alice

    Now let’s talk about Urine Therapy!

    • Marie

      LOL. but no.

  • Skipper

    I don’t think it works that way. You’ll just be drinking antibodies that are already present in your body anyway.

    • Alicia Kiner

      That’s what I was thinking too.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I’ve wondered about that too. I will commence the googling.

    • guest

      You are correct. No need to google.

    • Jo

      Joke killer…..

  • Alexandra

    “Regular” milk is just cow breast milk. Which is WAY grosser if you think about it, considering how close their udders are to their bodily waste….. YICK!!

  • kg

    On a related note, I have kind of always wanted to feed someone else’s baby, straight from the source. But all my friends/sisters have given me total side eye whenever I bring it up. If my baby got hungry in the care of a lactating woman and I was indisposed out otherwise unable to nurse at that moment, I’d hope the lady would be kind enough to nurse her. I’m just saying, if I’m ever baby sitting my nephew or close friend’s baby they’d better watch out.

    Seriously, is this weird of me? I’ve never met a person IRL who wasnt weirded out by this. I just look at it like helping a girl out.

    • Bethany Ramos

      It seems nice among family/friends, but I think people get weird about fluids. I didn’t even think about it and offered my SIL breast milk for my niece (2 days younger than my son), and I’m pretty sure she was disturbed by it. It was pumped milk, BTW!

    • kg

      Yeah, my sister uses my pumped freezer stash to feed my nephew sometimes. He and my daughter are really close in age. But I can’t quite get her on board with the stuff straight from the source.

    • Iwill Findu

      I’m totally fine with it. I left my daughter with my SIL and we weren’t sure if my daughter would take a bottle of expressed milk so she asked if I would be ok with her feeding her if it came down to it as our girls are only 8 months apart. Family I’m ok with since you know them and their medical history (at lest in my family with a nurse and 2 health care aids we don’t keep secrets). Not so sure I would be so fine with a strangers milk.

    • iamtheshoshie

      I was just having a conversation with a friend about this! From an antibodies perspective, it has to be pretty excellent to have babies fed by multiple women. But I’m not particularly weirded out by the idea of my baby being fed by my friends who are lactating.

    • Tara

      I don’t think it’s weird. My sister and I had babies 11 days apart, and we both fed the other’s baby at one point or another…she was watching my daughter while my husband and I packed our storage unit and she got hungry before we were done, and I was watching her son and he refused the pumped bottle she had left. It seemed normal enough to me. I would also be fine with a close friend nursing my baby if need be.

  • Julia Sonenshein

    Spiced breast milk bubbles dying.

  • EX

    You should give some to Eve to wash down that placenta.

  • Sashie

    I’ve made breast milk pancakes..breastmilk French toast (for my kid but I ended up eating with them) and let me tell you..best pancakes EVER

  • Kelly

    LMAO @ more of the breast milk is magic bullshit.

  • Rebekah

    Haha!! You should dose your less likeable in-laws…just saying…but I guess that might give them an immune system boost which would defeat the purpose lol. You are hilarious, Bethany!!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Awwww thanks!!! Hilarious idea :)

  • Janok Place

    Well okay, NOT COMPARING YOU TO LIVESTOCK. BUT If one of my cows is feeling kind of under the weather, I will offer her a bucket of her own milk. It just gives her a little boost by giving her back all that good stuff she just spent energy making. I figure, she knows best if she needs it or not. Raw milk is a beautiful thing with lots of health benefits, and really… drinking cow bodily fluids yuks your husband out worse then drinking YOUR bodily fluids? C’mon ;)

    • Bethany Ramos

      This is an EXCELLENT point. I feel like a milking cow most days, anyway. :)

    • Janok Place

      Actually, my husband was totally grossed out by breast milk. Until we started keeping a cow for our own milk. Then he was all “What’s wrong with people? Hey hon, next time can I try some? That’s totally less weird then this”… Uh… fun fact, still weirds me out… so… no. But honestly it could give you some health benefits, drinking raw milk has done some pretty awesome stuff for our family. Raw peoples milk would totally get less public outrage, drink up!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Haha! I really have been wanting to get raw milk for our fam, but it’s hard to come by here. Envious of you on that one!

    • Janok Place

      The trick is to convince your husband that “This property would be great for golf, right honey?!?” And then come home with a cow one day. That’s my secret. Otherwise you’ll have better luck finding illegal drugs. Cause illegal health food is way worse, duh.